dinner. The holidays had passed. Confused about where I stood with them. Tired from the long weekend with the family. Start going through the motions of cleanliness. The house cleaned, my hair trimmed, my nails almost painted when I hear a car pull up. I thought maybe Jenkins was coming as a surprise. But, as I looked out the window, I found myself stricken with more than just surprise.
"Dad, there is a limo outside!" I yelled upstairs to his room. I heard him stirring, running to a window. It was near Valentine’s Day, and Josephine contacted me more heavily than specific occasions.
"I'm going to be in the basement. Bring dinner down to me after she leaves. Tell her I'm gone." He rushes past me, nearly knocking me off my feet.
"What am I supposed to say to her? I don't want to see her either. Let alone talk to that crazy woman." Shout to the absent air he stood in seconds ago. I stare out the window to find her stepping out of the car, hand in hand with a guy who looked a year or two older than me.
"Yum!" I whisper to myself. I hurry and pull out my phone. I text Jenks; EMERGENCY, come quick. I barely hit send, when the doorbell rings.
"AJ! The door!" My father screams from downstairs. I open it with a smile, my red apron still hanging from my neck.
"Yes?" As if there were strangers in front of me.
"Oh, cut the attitude, Autumn Jazmine. I am here to take you out. Now go and get ready." She waved me off. I stood there motionless. It had been a couple weeks since her last appearance, and I had not been home, thank goodness.
"Well, we don't have all day. Aren't you going to invite us in?" I did not move. She was such a princess, not a queen. Her boyfriend shifted his weight shrugging like this happened every day to him.
"I already made dinner plans," I spilled out, probably confessing too much.
"Yeah, right? Like you could ever cook. Everything you made was appalling." She laughed at her own humor.
"I was four, Josephine."
"Well, I'm sure things haven't changed that much. We will wait in the car; it is probably more comfortable than this house. I will give you fifteen minutes and please do something with that wretched hair." Her face made a disgusted look as if we were all scum underneath her. Jenks just pulled up and he was running to the door, past my mother who gave him a flirty look.
"What? What's going on?" He was out of breath, leaning over.
"We have fifteen minutes." I turned around and shut the door; my father bounded up the stairs.
"How did it go?" My father smiled, a little too happy with himself.
"What's in fifteen minutes?" Jenks questioned. My dad got a certain grin on his face like he knew what had just happened.
"Oh, you are going out with Josephine! Lucky you." Patting him on the back and a wink his way.
"Dinner is on the table." I rolled my eyes at his excitement.
"But, I don't have any clothes to change into." Jenks confessed, nervously.
"That's okay. I have some things that will probably fit you." My dad laughed. Jenks was rubbing off on him.
"Not funny, Father." They went upstairs to my father's closet. I followed them up and went into my room. Scan through everything spectacular that, Josephine would approve of. I let my hair dow;, swirls fall upon my shoulders. I decided on a yellow sundress. Not even back five minutes she was already bossing me around and hitting on this dream boy of mine.
"What color are you wearing, Jaze?" My dad shouted. What, are we matching?
"Yellow." We had no time to discuss this. We only had five more minutes, before she would be at our door again.
I stepped out into my mirror; I was pretty. My own beautiful to be, not Josephine's.
"Ready?" Jenks knocked on my door.
"Yeah." I grabbed a small white flower and placed it in my hair, the bow on the package.
Jenks was leaning against the wall as my dad began telling him all about the crazy Josephine.
"Wow." My dad spoke softly, stunned by his daughter. Jenks turned around to see me, amazed as ever. He was wearing a yellow tie with a black suit, clean cut.
"You look beautiful, AJ. Have fun tonight, you deserve it." My dad kissed my cheek. Jenks took my arm as he led me down the stairs.
"Thank you for coming with me tonight. It means the world to me. Hopefully, it won't be too horrid." I kid.
"I know it does. It's okay, I owe you." Kisses my lips.
"You are gorgeous, babe." His voice was sincere.
It had been an hour when I got a text message from Dad asking how is it going? I replied, telling him that we weren't even at the restaurant yet, because she insisted on going to a fancy place two hours away. He thought he would be funny and replied, yum, with a couple laugh. Thanks a whole lot, dad. Josephine had explained how the modeling industry worked, beginning to end. It took nearly the whole car ride.
"Here we are." It was quiet to whisper finally, making her boy toy laugh. As we stepped out into the crowded streets, everybody was dressed properly and in style.
"So glad I left the safe abode to come to this uptight, high fashion, hell hole for dinner,” I tried whispering into Jenks's ear. But, the boy toy heard me and turned around. Smile as I gave him an oops look. We pushed our way through the glass doors; we had a reservation, of course.
"Act a little happier, Autumn Jazmine. We are eating French tonight." As if that was supposed to impress me.
"French? Yay...I love French fries." Sounding a little too over the top.
"That's more like it." She didn't catch the sarcasm bouncing off my words. We all laughed in concealed unison.
Our table was ready and we took our spots. She moved in a way like she was a monster on her prey. She was living a dream world where she was the enquiring queen.
“Do you have plans for after school, Autumn Jazmine?” Her shoulders were perfectly square.
“Like college? I haven’t given much thought to that. Possibly go spend time in California with Madeline. When I do decide I will surely let you know!” My cheery attitude was the opposite of her assumption of how cruel I would be to her. Of course, my persona created that of a parody performance.
“There will be plenty of time for you to decide that later. As for now, I speak about tomorrow after school. I’ve been wanting you to come to join me in New York.” Her voice wavering in strength.
“You want me to do this why exactly?” Forking the pasta around on my plate.
“She wants you to come to join the party! It’s a blast, and how your mom runs things is so awesome, AJ!” Her toy of a boyfriend spouting out the advertisement.
“Autumn is her name.” Jenks began to get defensive for some reason I couldn’t classify.
“And being sexy is her game!” Winks out all of his immaturity. I gave a glance to my once mother; she was bribing me with this younger man.
“Ok. Thanks, but I have plans!” A spoon full of carbs, I was in complete heaven with this obese country. The food industry catered to every whim and wish. Everything imaginable was at your fingertips to taste. Bringing a mountain of desserts to the table, I was thoroughly impressed with the selection.
Welcome to the Idaho state fair, would you like to try a donut burger? Yes, I would like a clogged artery by the time I’m 20 years old. It was pure rich bliss, living in the area in which meat had survived extinction.
Back at the dinner table.
“I want you to be with me, and I mean why wouldn’t you want to be with me? I am your mother and you are my daughter.” Her voice is crisp as she tried the chocolate covered strawberries.
“I realize I come from the same bloodline and maybe you pushed me out…”
“You don’t honestly think I would put my beautiful body through such a tiring process.” Caressing her perfect curves.
“I had my doctors perform a C-Section before any damage could be done to this fine figure.” Of course, the thought of birthing a child hadn’t even changed her perception.
“What I’m saying is that you may biologically be my mother. In no way do you act or get the reputation of being a mom.” Bits of ice cream finished, more than satisfactory.
“I may have not earned the title. The fact of the matter is that I am more of your parent than your so-called father. I mean, honestly, you look nothing like him.” Her and resourceful playboy were at the edge of laughter, refraining for my sake, I’m sure.
She started clawing at the things I had already been questioning. Was it deception or was the truth in the words she carried?
“You’re just saying that, trying to yet again hurt me.”
“Oh, you poor child. You don’t believe me, ask him yourself. He was so pathetic, I ran off with a Russian sailor. When I came back, to him he wanted to keep you. He didn’t care whose you were, just that you were a part of me. That sorry man is not your father; the man who donated his sperm for a weekend was more a man than he could ever imagine being.” She grinned callously; her morbid take on where life has led her made her believe she was in the right to tell me these things. Somehow, I was certain, deep down it was true.
Jenks squeezed my hand gently. We weren’t laughing. We stayed silent beneath the surface. Screaming and screeching came not from me but from the twin toddlers across the restaurant.
“Can you believe they brought children to a place like this, it’s entirely inappropriate! Waiter, get the waiter. I demand to be moved to another location more private.” Waving her hand in the air, snapping for them to hustle to her needs.
“No, that’s okay. I think we’ve had enough for tonight. Jenks, shall we be going?” He has my coat in hand before I can stand up. He read my mind every minute along the way.
I smiled sweetly at him as we made our escape, not once turning around to look at the woman who had never brought a good moment into my adolescence. I left her staring at me leaving her world forever. She was hardly dismissed; she was in the business of persuading. Her whole person was incapable of being anything other than a prop, for show. Especially with the radiance, she thought everyone owed to her.
My goodbye smelled like currency, and I left it for the waiter.