midnight, the stars glistening the way they usually did during these cold November nights. I just got back from California. I would call Jenks, but he's probably hanging out with his friends. So I drive to a secluded park in my town. I park my car at the edge of the gravel lot. I open the door to let in the fresh night air. Step out into the darkness, putting on a checkered jacket, blocking out the chills.
The swings frosted with ice. Silent to take a seat in the scene of the evening. Sway forward then backward, making a list of wishes and a poll on possible dreams. The breeze on my face reminds me of a time when I was a child. I glance at the swing next to me. The stillness of it makes me cringe. It will be her 22nd birthday tomorrow.
"You lied to me, Winnie." Spoken to the abandoned park. "Being a senior isn't quite as cool as you led me to believe, sister." My eyes shut laughing to myself.
"How ridiculous is it that we are named after a season and a flower? Like, really, nothing better on the list of names." Sight cast down at the ground. Shameful for speaking about her name in such a way, as if anyone heard me anyway. Everybody loved her, but she really didn't care about being accepted.
She would bring me along with her to parties or sleepovers. Not because she was forced to or was asked to. She wanted to. If it wasn't for her no one would ever call me anything other than Winter’s little sister. I would be a background to the world, an old forgotten painting. She was a free spirit, so easy-going, loved everyone who seemed to cross her path. She brought me along so I could experience events. I was the opposite of outgoing. A tiny group of friends. Mediocre, if you wish for a further explanation.
The snow was falling now. I have a detestation for snow. Flakes coming down harder. I start to the parking lot, glancing back to see the swings swaying as if waving goodbye.
"Maybe, if it was snowing that day, you would have stayed home."
A dark car is parked a little ways away. I can hear the music playing, the beats bouncing off its metal frame. I don't want to even begin to imagine what they are doing in there! I keep my gaze steady and quickly move to the driver’s door of my father’s car. The car looks familiar, and in an instant, I know whose it was; Jenks. I look back at the car, the windows foggy. I can’t believe my luck! Irony slapping me in the face over and over. How repulsive! So much for being loyal, loyal as a camel’s spit!
I honk my horn and I flash my lights. He pops up his head to see what the commotion is; of course, he cannot see that is me. He puts his pathetic head back down. I honk longer, flash my lights a little brighter. Now he is angry. He kicks open his door, his blond hair embracing the wind. Struggling to put his button-up over his bare chest. Compulsive to laugh, metaphorically speaking. I was laughing like a red-nosed clown on parade day. How messed up am I? Freaked out by my laughter, he took caution approaching the situation.
"What the heck, man! I am a little busy, if you didn't notice!" He points back to the car.
"Foggy windows with handprints running down them, getting a little Titanic in there?” I smirk in the darkness. He can’t seem to find the humor.
“Titanic? What does that have to do with…oh, Jaze, is that you?” He shuffles to pull his clothes on tighter and with more disclosure.
“I was swinging. What were you doing?” My folded arms let little leeway for the interruption, rather than corruption.
"Autumn, why are you out here so late? I was just...umm." He mumbled over his words, trying to find the right thing to cover up his actions. Guess we aren’t exclusively dating. Too bad steroid Steve isn’t here. I could show Jenkins what I found in California.
"You were doing what exactly, playing prince charming to some other damsel?" I tease. I don't know what he thought was more shocking, the fact that I was laughing or the fact that he got caught.
“Now come on, Autumn, you don’t really think I would cheat on you!” His eyes never meeting mine.
“See, I thought being loyal meant not smooching other ladies. Glad you cleared that up for me. You look surprised to see me. I told you I would be back late tonight." Nods in agreement.
We stood there in silence for a couple minutes, the girl occasionally peering out toward us, wondering what was taking Jenks so long. I would wave back smiling, not recognizing who the girl was.
"Well, I should be going, it’s getting late." I walk up to him pat him on the shoulder.
"Have a goodnight, Jenks. Tell your playmate I say hello. Maybe you can explain to her why you took so long out here." I smile, turning back to my car.
"I made a mistake, Autumn. Come on, this means nothing. Nothing to me, not like you do." I hear his whispers. He shifts his arm back at the warming car.
“Does she know that? Besides, killing two birds with stones with our meet and greet. I’ll catch you later." I get in my car and drive away. I stare back in my mirror to see him standing there half-dressed, frozen in suspicion. My thoughts in a tangled mess. I thought I was special like he had told me so many times before. You thought wrong, AJ. You know you’d never be given a chance like that. It's not your fault; you’re not Winter. I know, I admit to my demeaning self. As I turned the corner I could still see him standing there watching my tail lights fade into the dawn of the morning sunrise.