Seek good, and not evil, that ye may live: and so the
Lord, the God of hosts, shall be with you, as ye have spoken.
—Amos 5:14
Bentley walked into the bedroom and lay across the bed. “I called to make an appointment with Pastor Landris,” Bentley said.
“What did they say?” Marcella asked as she continued to roll her hair.
“He’s booked solid for the next three months.”
“Did you tell them it was an emergency?”
“I asked them to put me on the waiting list in case of a cancellation, but I don’t think you could truly classify my problem as a real emergency.”
“So how are you holding up? Honestly.”
“It’s a challenge. The Internet is really wearing me down. I get e-mails upon e-mails with filthy words…taunting me. Activating and planting thoughts in my head, and it’s just hard to control those thoughts sometimes. Before I know it, I’m thinking about things I shouldn’t be.”
“Well, I don’t think you should wait for Pastor Landris. There are other ministers available at the church. Make an appointment with one of them,” Marcella said.
“I told you, Marcella, I’m not talking to just anyone about this. It’s hard enough for me as it is discussing it with you. You know I don’t trust everybody with my business. I don’t feel like having folks looking at me funny or treating me like I’m some kind of pervert.”
“I’ve told you; I don’t believe the people on staff at this church will do that.”
“But you don’t know that for sure. I don’t want to chance it and find out I was right all the time.”
“Okay, Bentley. If you like, we can go see somebody not connected to the church. I did some research on the Internet, and there are other alternatives we can look into to get you help.”
“The last thing I need is to join a group of strangers and put my business in the streets. I’m trying to be the next Bill Gates. I don’t need something like this out there coming back to bite me later.” He rubbed his head. “No, if I’m going to seek help, I’d rather start with the spiritual. I realize this is spiritual warfare.”
“I just can’t understand why you have to wait so long to talk to someone at church,” Marcella said as she paced in front of him a few times. “Maybe you can schedule an appointment with Xavier when he gets back from his trip to Florida.”
“Oh, I definitely don’t want your friend’s husband knowing my business either. I’m sure you’ve already told Avis everything though.”
“That’s what Xavier does, Bentley. He listens to people’s problems and helps them. He’s a doctor.” She didn’t even acknowledge his last statement. She stopped pacing. “Fine. Then I think I’ll call the church and see what I can do to get you an earlier appointment with Pastor Landris,” Marcella said.
Bentley stood up and looked at Marcella. “So, what are you trying to imply? You don’t think I really called for an appointment?”
Marcella looked at him and frowned. “That’s not what I’m implying at all. I just said I would call to see what I can do.”
He hunched his shoulders. “If I couldn’t get an earlier date, I don’t know what makes you think you can. See, that’s what’s wrong with us. You treat me as though you think I’m some kind of an incompetent child or something.”
“I do not.”
“Yes, you do.”
“Bentley, all I said was that I would call and see what I might be able to do. But if it’s going to cause an argument, then forget it. Wait months to get help then. The baby should be here around that time. That will be perfect. You can be dealing with your problem when you should be enjoying our new baby.”
Bentley grabbed Marcella as she started to walk away. “Hey, hey. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, okay? I was out of line. I know you’re just trying to help. I’m just on edge these days. I’m trying not to think too much and it’s messing with my head.”
“I know, Bentley. And it’s okay.”
“Look, if you believe you can get me an earlier appointment with the good Reverend Landris, then by all means go for it.”
“I was only thinking about how ridiculous it is that you’re having to wait so long. I don’t understand what the problem could be. Maybe whomever you spoke with just didn’t know how to handle the situation. I’ll call tomorrow and if three months is the earliest time you can see him, then at least I’ll feel we did all we could at this time. We’ll just deal with it the best way we know how.”
“I’m sorry. If I wasn’t so particular about my situation and just would take the first available appointment, I could get started. But I suppose the wait time tells you a lot about who the best person to see down at the church must be.”
“Why do you say that?”
“The best ones are always the hardest to get an appointment with. It’s the ones nobody likes that are generally available.”
Marcella shook her head. “I don’t think that’s the case here. I guess everybody just feels like you; they’d prefer Pastor Landris. They won’t give the others a try.”
“Well, we’d better hurry and do something soon. I don’t want to alarm you, but I’m having some real challenges in fighting this. I really need some help here. I’m even paying more attention to the commercials with the sexual overtones oozing everywhere. And surfing through the channels, those rap videos with half-naked, booty-shaking women. It’s just hard on any man, saved, sanctified, or otherwise. But I suppose that’s their whole point. Oh yeah…makes me want to run right out and purchase their various products. Let me hurry up and go get that CD.” He let out a short laugh. “I’m kidding, you know, about going out to purchase their bag of chips because a half-dressed woman was eating some, or the CD ad I just watched of half-naked women bouncing around.”
“I know you’re just being sarcastic.” Marcella took his hand. “We can still pray ourselves.”
“Yeah, you’re right. We can do that. We don’t need a preacher or anyone else to help us do that.” He squeezed her hand. “Will you lead it?”
Marcella smiled. “Sure.”
They bowed their heads and she began.