I hoped a bath would get rid of the smell of the forest, but the damp seems almost permanent.
After Lucian escorted us from the cave and back to the safeguard of central Polemistés, he explained Eldara’s sacrifice and my powers to the others, and then there was barely any chance for Nox and me to talk before we were whisked our separate ways.
Him, to be reunited with Micah and assess how close the king’s ships were. Me, to be taken to get cleaned up and checked for any severe injuries. I was so desperate to bathe and wash away the dirt and mud that had gathered in every crevice of me, I didn’t even bother to argue.
As I step from my room, dressed in an oversize hand-knitted sweater and the softest pair of moccasins I’ve ever worn, I wonder what my mother would think if she could see me now. No ballgowns or pretense, and no need to hide my power from scared men trying desperately to hold on to control.
I am blessed by a goddess, ready to wield the magic that will help us take back the islands.
I will make Eldara proud.
My feet creak against the floorboards as I approach Nox’s room and I pause with a wince, arching my neck to peer around the thin corridor and make sure I haven’t alerted any guards.
Though as I think it, Lucian saunters down the hall, his sword in hand and his patented armor shining in the dim torchlight. I wonder if he ever takes it off. Part of me thinks the warrior might very well sleep in steel.
“Majesty,” he says with a bow.
I straighten.
“Evening, Lucian,” I answer back.
“I hope you’re feeling more rested now?” he asks.
If he knows where I’m heading, he doesn’t let on.
“Yes.” I nod. “Far more refreshed.”
“I’m glad.”
He smiles, like it’s a struggle. I imagine Lucian is out of practice and that after so many years of serving Eldara, he’s not used to what comes next.
He must miss her, as I do.
He must want to ensure her death was a worthwhile sacrifice.
“Well then,” I say. “I better be going.”
“Of course.” Lucian steps to the side to let me past.
I give him a smile of thanks and continue on down the corridor, trying to remember which new room Nox was placed in after the trials.
“Oh, and, Majesty?” Lucian says.
I turn back to him, arching my eyebrows in question.
“Don’t stay up too late with the soldier. The Red Moon is upon us and you have a long battle ahead.”
I blink, mortified, and watch as Lucian saunters back down the hall with a chuckle.
I can feel my cheeks getting redder by the minute, and when I finally reach Nox’s door, I almost don’t want to knock.
My chest heaves as I do and wait anxiously for him to open it.
When it takes a moment, I bite my lip, wondering if maybe he’s asleep. He must be tired. I know I am. Still, I couldn’t resist wanting to see him.
After everything that happened in the forest, I haven’t been able to clear my mind of him. Of our kiss—kisses—and how I’ve finally realized what he means to me.
The door opens and I breathe a sigh of relief, until I see that it’s Micah who leans against its frame.
“Well,” he says with a wink. “Little late-night visit?”
Souls, is there anyone else who’s going to tease me tonight?
“I could ask you the same thing,” I say to Micah. “Shouldn’t you be in your own room? I heard it was rather new and fancy.”
Micah shrugs. “I’m too energetic, thinking about battle.”
“That’s really sad,” I tell him. “You should get a hobby.”
“Not everyone can be the savior of the world,” he says.
He throws the door open wider and takes a step back.
“Come on in and join the party.”
To my surprise, it’s not just Nox lounging on his bed by a deck of cards, but Irenya too. Her short blond hair falls across her face as she leans over to place her share of cards on the firm mattress.
Opposite her, Nox scoffs and throws his own hand in a messy pile at his crossed feet.
“You’re conning me,” he says.
“You conned me first,” she answers back.
I smirk, glad that someone is finally beating Nox at his own game.
“Selestra!” Irenya jumps up from the bed with a grin when she sees me. “You’re clean!”
“Don’t sound so surprised,” I say in a laugh. “It’s known to happen every now and again.”
I look back to Nox, feeling a little sad that everyone was together without me. As if she can read my mind, Irenya’s eyes widen and she quickly says, “I was waiting for you earlier, but they wouldn’t let me see you no matter how much I argued. That Lucian guy is a real piece of work when it comes to the rules.”
She looks furious at the memory of it, wrinkling her nose.
“Damn Polemistés warriors,” she says in a curse. “I was getting foot cramps standing there all evening. Micah found me hovering outside your doorway and dragged me back here to wait for you. He thought this might be your first stop.”
Irenya looks knowingly between me and Nox, and I try not to redden again. I really hadn’t planned on an audience.
“I’m so glad you’re safe,” Irenya says. She beams at me and places a hand on my arm. “I missed you.”
I feel the same: I hated being apart from her while I was in the forest. It was the longest we’ve ever been separated and I’ve been longing to talk with her until the sun comes up about everything and nothing.
I’m glad to have not just an army in this place, but a true friend.
“I missed you as well,” I tell Irenya.
Then for the first time in both of our lives, I truly hug her.
Irenya stiffens in surprise, not used to the contact. I’m not either. I’ve been so scared to touch anyone, even my best friend, for fear I’d see death. But now I know that it doesn’t always have to be the case.
As long as I practice controlling my powers and don’t let the fear of death plague my mind, I don’t have to be cursed by it.
Irenya squeezes me back, her arms wrapping tightly around me. Years and years of wanting nothing more than to embrace my friend finally bubble to the surface.
Touch. Comfort. Solace.
It’s more than a thirst being satisfied. It is as though a piece of myself I always knew was missing has finally been given back to me.
But I don’t have full control yet. When Irenya’s cheek grazes my own, a small flash of the future hits me.
Irenya, with fabric scissors between her teeth, adjusting the hem of the most beautiful dress I’ve ever seen. People line up outside a store with her name in cursive, waiting to place orders for elegant gowns and intricate lace.
I smile at my friend’s future and the knowing that it’s everything she deserves.
“Selestra,” Irenya says, when I pull back. Tears fill her eyes at the shock of the embrace. “What happened in those trials?”
I wipe the tears from her cheeks. “I learned a lot,” I tell her. “There is so much I need to tell you.”
Irenya grins, wiping her nose with her sleeve. “I can’t wait to hear it.”
“We don’t have to hug now too, do we?” Micah asks, looking between us. “I’m not sure I could handle the sentimentality. Or the possibility of you seeing my death. It would ruin the mystery.”
Nox rolls his eyes. “Nobody wants to hug you anyway, Micah.”
He approaches me with a tender smile.
His dark hair curls at the nape of his neck, longer and far more unruly than when we first met. The scar I first touched when I saw into his future still pinks across his cheek and for some reason it makes me swallow. The force of his stare nearly throws me off balance.
“You look really nice,” Nox tells me.
I fiddle with the hem of my sweater, my fingers slipping over the thick woven fabric. I haven’t worn my gloves since leaving the forest and it still feels strange. I want to practice and make sure I can keep control of my powers at all times, not just when I’m kissing Nox.
I blush at the memory and look up at him.
“Thank you,” I tell him. “So do you.”
At this, Micah snorts and I curse myself inwardly.
I’m not well practiced in this. Whatever this is.
“You look nice too,” Micah mimics, jostling Nox with his elbow. “You both need to get a room.”
“This is my room,” Nox says. “And you’re refusing to leave.”
Micah shrugs and slumps onto the pillow beside Irenya. “You’ll miss me when I’m gone.”
“Not likely,” Nox shoots back, and Micah presses a hand to his heart as if Nox’s words are a bullet.
“Don’t worry about him,” Irenya says, giving Micah the side-eye. She gathers the cards up from the bed and reshuffles them. “Micah’s just jealous because nobody has ever told him that he looks nice.”
“Actually,” Micah says. “I tell myself that every day.”
I shake my head, unable to help but laugh. “How have you coped putting up with those two by yourself all night?” I ask.
Nox smiles and my heart tickles inside my chest. “It’s been a struggle,” he says. “But you’re here now.”
“Come on, Selestra.” Irenya deals the cards out onto the mattress. “Let’s show these boys how the professionals do it.”
I smile broadly and fling myself beside her. “They won’t know what’s hit them.”
We stay that way for hours, throwing cards and gibes, laughing our way through the night and forgetting all about the war that threatens to darken our doors.
The night feels eternal as I sit with my friends and I wish it was, forcing myself to stay awake even when my eyes begin to flicker shut.
Long after the candles dim, wax growing shallow in their holders, and after Micah and Irenya retire to bed, Nox and I stay.
“I guess I win,” Nox says.
He looks down at the line of cards: a serpent’s straight, just like the past three times.
“I guess you’re cheating again,” I declare.
Nox smirks and gathers the cards back up. “Sore loser.”
“You forget that I was at the After Dusk Inn when you swindled the group of men who tried to kill us.”
Nox waves his hand in the air. “A lifetime ago,” he says. “I’m a changed man now. Honest, right to the core. Noble, even.”
“I think you’re confusing honor with idiocy.”
Nox gasps dramatically and pretends to draw his sword. “I should run you through for questioning my integrity.”
I flick a stray card at his chest. “It’s your turn to deal.”
“I think we’ve officially played every single game I know,” he says.
We’re sat by the fireplace in his room now, huddled on the shag carpet, bare toes tickling with warmth.
“Does that mean you surrender?” I ask. “I win?”
“You’ve lost the last six rounds,” Nox says. “But sure. You win, princess.”
I settle back into the carpet, leaning against the base of the dark green armchairs.
“Do you think we’ll have just as good luck with victory when the king attacks?” I ask. “So many people have died because of me and my family already. I don’t want any more blood on my hands.”
“They’re not dying for you, Selestra.” The words shoot forcefully from Nox’s tongue. “They’re dying for an idea and a hope. Just like my father did.”
He takes in a breath and his eyes hollow with a deep sadness. It makes my chest ache just to look at him and the way he has to keep his grief hidden away for fear it’ll overtake him.
“My father died because he wanted something better for this world,” Nox says. “It’s our job to create that better thing. Everything you’ve done in the past is because you were taught it was the right way. You can’t help the fact that you were brought up on a lie.”
It’s true, but somehow I still feel foolish.
I let the king fill my days with lies and I trusted my mother more than anything, because her judgment was all I ever knew.
“Our past is not our future,” Nox says. “And though we can’t change the past, together we can change our future.”
He takes my hands in his and they ignite all the little fires inside me. Nox is right. I won’t let my past determine my future forever and I won’t let it hold me back with guilt.
The Six Isles need a leader who looks forward instead of back.
“I’m glad you came tonight,” Nox says.
I rest against his shoulder, relaxing into him. “Me too.”
“I’m glad I broke into your bedroom that night as well.”
I chuckle a laugh. “Me too.”
“And I’m glad that I have you by my side,” he says.
He slides his finger under my chin, tilting my head up to press my lips to his in a tender kiss. Every inch of me tingles under his touch, the warmth of his words setting me alight.
“We should probably get some rest,” Nox says. “We’ve got a kingdom to save.”
“No,” I tell him as our fingers press together. “We have one to create.”
I settle into him, and as the night grows even darker and tiredness overtakes me, I stay wrapped in his arms. I let his breathing lull me to sleep, the sound of his heartbeat a steady constant in my ear.
“Your Highness!”
I jump awake, wincing as the sun screams through the windows.
A young warrior dressed in full armor bursts into Nox’s room.
“Lucian sent me to find you,” he announces, trying desperately to catch his breath. “They’re approaching the whirlpools.”
He must have run from one of the guard stations, because his entire face is flushed red and sweat paints his forehead.
I look to Nox and his hand goes to his sword.
“They,” I repeat.
My voice shakes with the weight of what’s to come.
The warrior nods. “They’re finally here,” he says. “Seryth and his witch.”