Dear Albert,
Well, the worst has happened. I thought I’d dealt with enough pain for two lifetimes or more. Watching my daughter-in-law walk out on her three children was enough to shatter this poor, old heart. My poor lamb Lincoln, the oldest, feeling responsible for everyone. Jackson, his mother’s pet, completely lost and wondering what he’d done to chase her way. But the worst of them was my baby girl, Daisy.
The precious child was only three and cried every single night for her mother. Those wails and cries of pain were enough to kill most old ladies. Fortunately, I’m stronger than Texas dirt. Well, you remember all this. You were there. Trying to help, usually going out in the barn or out in the fields to hide. I don’t completely blame you for that. Hank did the same and they were his children, after all. But no one knows what to do with grieving children.
I didn’t much like Maggie to begin with, but after she left her children, I hated someone for the first time in my life. Hank was of no use, as he had his own demons to handle after Maggie left him.
But now this.
And I thought I’d already had the lowest opinion of Maggie I could possibly have!
Wherever you are, I imagine you already know that Daisy might not be Hank’s daughter. I don’t believe it, naturally. Of course, she’s Hank’s daughter! Any other thought is just too terrible to think. Daisy has always been closest to her daddy. He was big enough not to punish her for looking just like her mama. And he would never abandon any of his children, our Hank, but least of all his Daisy.
After all that mess that Maggie left in her wake, Daisy became her daddy’s shadow. There was no question in my mind that she wanted to make sure he wouldn’t also leave her. And to think all this time I’ve been worried about “that Wade” taking her away from us. Now I’m worried that circumstance will. If Daisy takes the DNA test, and she isn’t Hank’s daughter, will she want to do that “I gotta go find myself” thing all the young’uns do? That could take her out of Texas, let alone Stone Ridge!
Worse, will she think there’s no hope she won’t turn out just like her mother?
She’s a Carver through and through. It isn’t just that we raised her to be a kind young lady, completely different from her heartless mother. If nothing else, we know for a daggum fact that she’s Maggie’s daughter. But look how different she is from her! Biology doesn’t matter, anyway, only family does. The family that raised you, and I think Daisy must realize this.
“If she doesn’t realize it, then you’re goin’ to have to show her.” Out of the blue came Albert’s familiar deep drawl.
Lillian jumped. Albert sat on their bed, leaning back on a pillow, legs crossed at the ankles. The old man’s ghost hadn’t visited her in over a year.
“Albert! This is a fine how-dee-do! Where have you been, old man?”
“Busy. There are a lot of interestin’ things to do over here.”
Lillian didn’t bother asking. He wasn’t real. This was just her imagination, after all.
“Sounds like there’s another mess goin’ on down here. Makes me almost glad I’m dead.”
“What do you think I should do?”
“Stay out of it.”
“How can I stay out of it when there’s a chance my Daisy could fall apart? I can see it in her eyes, she’s tempted to take that DNA test!”
“Let her.”
Let her. Well, it was a thought. After all, fear itself shouldn’t be a reason to hold back from learning the truth. From confirming the truth.
“Anything else, old man? You seem to be dripping with advice today.”
“You’re goin’ to need to talk to her about Maggie. We never talked about her. Daisy deserves to know the truth about her mother. It’s not all black and white and I can see that now.”
Talk to Daisy about Maggie.
Why didn’t she think of that? Oh, wait. She just did. “Right. She should know that Maggie wasn’t always terrible.”
“This is what I’m sayin’.”
Maggie did have some good qualities, after all, or Hank wouldn’t have married her. Yes, Lillian realized, he’d still been reeling over losing Brenda. But for a time, he and Maggie had been happy. It was important that if on the long odds Daisy wasn’t Hank’s biological daughter, she'd find some connection to the goodness in Maggie, however small.
“What if we’re all wrong and Daisy isn’t Hank’s daughter?”
“We will deal with it when we cross that bridge.”
“Yes, thank you, Albert. I’ve decided. I will neither encourage nor be against this testing thing. I’ll be neutral. Like Switzerland.”
“Woman, if you manage that, I’ll come back from the dead and eat my daggum hat.”
Daisy rolled out of bed the next morning, her thoughts a jumble. She’d stayed up too late last night, reading and re-reading the request for a DNA paternity test from Rusty’s brother. He wanted it to be done at a reputable center he’d chosen and wanted to be present when it was done. Apparently, the man was seriously worried. Or maybe he simply thought Daisy to be a gold-digger type after some poor old man’s fortune.
These DNA tests could be done with kits anyone could order online, though they weren’t as accurate. And anyway, how could she get Rusty’s DNA? She didn’t want to see the man again after he’d talked to her just like she was anyone else he’d meet on the street. He could have told her the truth then and saved her poor father and brother from dealing with this secret.
Of course, she could get Daddy’s DNA to compare it to hers, but then he’d find out.
She didn’t want him to know that she was even considering this. It might hurt his feelings to think she had any doubts. And he had enough on his plate with calving season coming up. He was finally happy again, in a relationship with Brenda, whom Daisy had recently learned was his high school sweetheart. She’d never asked many questions about Maggie, and certainly no one ever talked about her. Daisy didn’t realize until recently that her mother hadn’t been Daddy’s first love even if they’d married young.
That was Brenda Iglesias, Eve’s mother. Had Maggie somehow stolen Hank away from Brenda? Another thought too terrible to process. Because no matter who her father was, Daisy couldn’t get away from the fact that Maggie was her mother. Daisy was even named after her. She made sure never to use her middle name and hated when she’d been called on as “Daisy Mae” in school until she corrected everyone.
“Just Daisy,” she’d say. “Daisy Carver.”
Daisy picked up the landline phone in her bedroom and dialed the number of the establishment listed in the papers.
“I’d like to, um, make an appointment. Please.”
“Mornings or afternoon better?”
“Either. The soonest you have.”
The receptionist asked a few more questions, and Daisy made the appointment. Just a few days away. Soon, she’d have her answer. And then came that feeling Wade loved. Anticipation. It made Daisy sick with fear. She’d have made the appointment for tomorrow if one had been available. She wanted to stop feeling like she was standing on the edge of a precipice, bracing herself for a fall.
Last night had been a catharsis. Crying until she didn’t think there were any tears left took a lot out of her and she’d slept solid all night long. It was also clear that Mima didn’t want Daisy to take the test. So, she’d be one more person she wouldn’t tell. Eve and Sadie were the worst snitches, and she wouldn’t tell them, either. Her brothers were out of the question.
That pretty much left Wade and she found she didn’t mind that at all.
Walking into the kitchen, Daisy found Mima already awake. She’d made her usual king-sized breakfast of grits, waffles, bacon, eggs, and hash browns.
“Good mornin’, sugar. Feeling better today?”
Nope, I’m feeling like a truck ran over my heart. The prairie dogs are currently feasting on the leftovers.
“So much better! Thanks for listenin’ to me bawl last night. I’m sorry about that.” Daisy helped herself to a cup of coffee.
“That’s a lot to get off your mind.”
“Well, I’m not going to worry about it anymore,” Daisy lied. “I don’t need a test to prove I’m Daisy Carver.”
Mima’s eyes widened in surprise. “You mean it?”
“You thought you were going to have to worry about me moping around the house for days until we got the results?”
“I think that’s for the best. No good can come out of it, and that man will get his brother’s inheritance. As it should be. He’s family.”
“Should I go see Daddy today?”
“He and Brenda are going to get a Christmas tree, I believe.”
“I just worry about him.”
“You know Hank. Tough as a rock. He has no doubts you’re his so I’m sure he’s relaxing.”
Daisy doubted that. Lincoln hadn’t been relaxing. “I should talk to him about all this.”
“Eventually you will.” Mima patted Daisy’s hand.
She and Mima ate breakfast in silence. Normally, Daisy didn’t mind. But this morning the quiet of the morning closed in on her. Not long ago, this house was filled with Jackson and Eve living here, too. Now, both of her brothers had homes they’d built on their land. A few years ago, Daddy had moved up the hill into the smaller house closer to the cattle operations. It was just Mima and Daisy in this big house now, except for Sunday dinners. Daisy had some freedom with her bedroom on the other side of the house, and she used a separate entryway so that she didn’t wake Mima on the rare nights when Daisy came home late. But she sometimes thought it would be nice to rent a cabin on Lupine Lake for a little more privacy.
“What will you do once I move out of this house?”
“Why? You planning on goin’ somewhere?”
“No, but maybe…someday. I should get married, I guess.” Daisy shrugged.
She did want to get married, naturally. The right man hadn’t come along just yet, or maybe that had been her keeping men away. Remaining pure as the driven snow for all the wrong reasons.
“When that time comes, I guess I’ll just roam around this big house by myself. Y’all will visit, I’m sure. It’s not like you’ll be far, anyway. And I guess Albert will show up more then.”
“Huh?” Her grandfather had been dead for years.
Mima waved her hand dismissively. “I like writing letters to him. Then I imagine that he’s sitting right there with me, listening.”
“That’s sweet…I think.”
“The man was ornery as all get-out, and not my first choice in a husband. But funny how love works out. Your grandpa was the great love of my life.”
Daisy nearly spit out her grits. What was it about this family and all the secrets?
“You never told me that before. Why was Grandpa not your first choice?”
“Well, of course, he was. But before we dated, there was someone brighter and shinier. I had my head turned. Luckily, Albert waited for me.” Mima shoved some more bacon on Daisy’s plate. “All this mess has got me to thinkin’. We should really talk some about your mother. Don’t you think?”
As much as Daisy did not want to talk about her mother, she had become front and center in their lives. “Was she the reason that Daddy and Brenda broke up? They were high school sweethearts, but my mother was the one who got knocked up. Did she take him away from Brenda?”
“Oh, no. Nothing like that. Much as I wish, can’t blame that one on your mother. See, Hank wanted to marry Brenda, but her family didn’t approve of him.”
“Excuse me?” Daisy dropped her fork. “Didn’t approve of my daddy?”
“We don’t talk about the painful past much around here.” Mima chuckled. “Hank is a good man now, but he wasn’t quite settled as a teenager. Had a little bit of a wild hair about him.”
She couldn’t see that in her father. Ever since she could remember, he’d seemed sad and defeated. Lonely. Until Brenda.
“Shows you how wrong you can be about someone,” Daisy said, hoping Mima caught a hint about Wade.
He wasn’t the man Mima thought he was, either. He’d been hiding from those women and Daisy figured his flirting might have been simply force of habit. Almost like putting on a show. Rodeo cowboys were used to that sort of thing and he hadn’t gotten it out of his system yet. She’d love to dig deep and find out what made Wade Cruz tick, but she had her own problems now.
“Her family wanted her to marry Ricardo, and Brenda always did as she was told.” Mima put her cup down and stared off into the distance. “A good girl and wonderful daughter and mother. And she and Ricardo were happy for a while. Just as your father and mother were.”
“I can’t believe how Daddy could have ever loved that woman.”
“That woman is your mother,” Mima said slowly. “And with all her faults, and there were many, she gave all three of you life. She didn’t have to do that.”
“Sorry if I’m not feeling grateful for that today but I’m just…not.”
“I don’t blame you. We should really talk about her more, but maybe another time.”
“What’s wrong with right now?”
“Did you forget? Today, we’re going to the church to help Pastor June set up. It’s the tree lighting ceremony tonight. She got a huge tree from Oregon, came in on a long-bed truck, several feet sticking out, I heard. Plenty of complaints as they drove through Nothing. Anyway, the men have to be there early to help get the tree up. And I signed you up to help Sadie entertain the children. Arts and crafts.”
It was the last thing Daisy felt like doing today, but she supposed that she and Wade should be at the event together. Otherwise, Beulah would be sniffing around, asking questions. A few days ago, Beau Stephens had reportedly refused to even consider being Mr. Cowboy. He, too, said he was serious about a woman, but now Daisy wondered if he was lying, as well.
Now Beulah was after Sean Henderson, and Daisy was more than certain Sean would say no, too. Eventually, this would all circle back to Wade, the perfect choice for Mr. Cowboy. Surely Daisy and Beulah were not the only ones who could see that.
An hour later, Daisy watched with fascination as the fresh pine tree was hauled up using heavy farm equipment. It took ten big men to do it, among them her brothers, as well as Riggs and Wade. Wade wore his black hat and jean jacket and when he caught her eye, he smiled and winked.
“Did you know Wade’s arm still hurts?” Daisy asked Beulah. “He’s certainly not going to say no to helping.”
“He seems fine to me. Why don’t you go give him a massage later, like a good girlfriend would?” Beulah gave her the side-eye.
“That’s exactly what I plan to do.” Daisy coughed and cleared her throat.
“Winona said the producers have asked for a cowboy who was a former sports star, or a rodeo star. Do you know anyone like that?”
“I do, but he’s taken.” Daisy crossed her arms. “Would they want a multimillionaire instead? What about one of Jolette Marie’s brothers?”
“Hmm. Well, they’re all mean as the devil but one of them is fairly handsome. I’ll suggest it.”
Once the tree was straightened and bolted to the church, the men took a break. Daisy noticed that Eve, Sadie, and Winona had joined their men, so she ran over to be with Wade.
“Hi, Wade.” She rubbed his arm, then went on tiptoes for a quick kiss on the lips.
“Hey.” Under the brim of his hat, his caramel-brown eyes were soft and warm. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, sure,” she said, then loudly, “I’ll have to give you a massage later, rub out all the kinks.”
Wade sent her a slow smile. Uh-huh.”
“We have to make this look good,” Daisy hissed. “The producers want a former rodeo star and obviously Lincoln is taken.” She put her arm around his waist, encouraging him to do the same, which he did.
“Sure, baby, of course I’ll cook dinner for you tonight. Why, your wish is my command,” Wade said loudly enough that Beulah turned.
“Don’t be silly. I’ll cook dinner for you! I just love takin’ care of my man.”
“Somebody have our volunteer fire department ready,” Lincoln joked.
Everyone cackled with laughter over that one. Burn a few meals and suddenly she was toxic in the kitchen.
“Let’s get back to work now,” Riggs ordered, always the one to keep everyone in line. “This tree isn’t going to light itself.”
As with every year since they’d started the tree lighting tradition in Stone Ridge, the inside of the church had been decorated as a winter wonderland. Lights were hung from the beams, green garland and fake snow accenting the large room. Booths were meant to entertain children. Arts and crafts were usually ornament making. Lenny had a booth where he created shapes out of balloons. This year, a lot of reindeers with lopsided ears. Sadie had a booth where she read holiday stories to the children.
Eve and Annabeth brought in cats and dogs that were being considered for adoption. But they always made the parents wait until after Christmas to finalize adoptions. Of course, Mima was always at the knitting booth with Delores and most of the ladies of SORROW. They were selling scarves and caps, and the proceeds would be put in a fund for further town projects. This year, the new medical clinic had a booth, too. Trixie, the midwife, was giving out lollipops to the children. Dr. Grant was walking around with a stethoscope around his neck, clearly not knowing what else to do with himself.
It was always a marathon day of an event, culminating in the tree lighting. People came and went during the day, always returning in the evening for the real action.
“Okay, Jimmy Ray,” Daisy said now. “No more glitter.”
“Just a little bit more,” he said, shaking the jar.
He was on Daisy’s last nerve. By the third hour, she’d wanted to go home and collapse in her bed. She hoped to last long enough to see the lights go up. The men had been outside working on that for hours.
“Hey, sweetheart. Is this boy bothering you?” came Wade’s smooth drawl, a hint of humor in it.
Daisy’s heart surged to see him, and when he looked at her as if he was seeing her for the first time, her knees got weak.
Jimmy Ray scrunched up his nose. “Sweetheart? Who’s your sweetheart?”
“Do you know what a sweetheart is?” Wade tipped his hat.
“That’s what my daddy calls my mommy.”
“I call my girlfriend sweetheart,” Wade said.
“Is Miss Daisy your girlfriend?” This was from Ellie, one of the few grade-school girls.
“Duh,” Jimmy Ray said, shaking out enough glitter to cover a small town.
“Miss Sadie used to be Mr. Carver’s girlfriend but now she’s his wife,” Ellie said. “And I helped.”
“It was my idea,” Jimmy Ray said.
“How did you help, darlin’?” Wade ignored Jimmy Ray and tousled Ellie’s hair, earning a smile.
“I helped write the sign.”
“There was a sign?”
“Lincoln had all the children write ‘Will you marry me’ on a big sign and they were all there when he asked her,” Daisy explained.
It was the most romantic thing she’d ever heard of, and coming from her lame-about-romance brother, it clinched the deal. Lincoln was in love and he didn’t care who knew it.
“Wow.” Wade winked at Ellie. “You might be able to call yourself a matchmaker now.”
Ellie straightened. “Really?”
“Me too!” said Jimmy Ray. “I’m a matchmaker.”
Daisy took the jar of glitter from his hand. “Matchmakers don’t like glitter.”
A choir of voices sounded like angels, and Daisy turned to see Winona near the entrance leading a group of Christmas carolers. Among them were all the ladies of SORROW, including Beulah, right behind Winona. “O Little Town of Bethlehem” brought quiet to the noisy room. This song, especially, stopped time for Daisy. The ladies, dressed in gowns reminiscent of the Old West, sashayed through the church. Winona occasionally reached out and ruffled a child’s hair or tweaked a nose.
It wasn’t until they’d circled the room once that Daisy realized Wade was holding her hand. Here was the only person she’d ever known who could stop time for her. Her heart hammered away as his warm, big hand held hers.
Something so simple. Not the first time for her, a handsome guy holding her hand.
But somehow, it did feel very much like the first time, and like a private, sacred moment.