The week in Leicestershire proved a great success and provided an excellent springboard for the entire tour. As the company travelled around the Midlands, the North and West Country, and then made their way towards London via some of the fringe venues, so their fame grew. A month before they were due to perform in Regent’s Park the Sunday Times ran a huge feature on them, calling them ‘The success story of the nineties’. It praised them all but particularly Christopher for his innovative idea and for having the courage of his convictions that real theatre wasn’t dead and that good plays properly done were what most people wanted to see.
Although all the members of the company were asked at various times to give interviews, only Christopher gave them. He was careful to make sure that he stressed the ethos of each member being equally important but at the same time every interviewer – whether because of what Christopher said or not – stressed that but for Christopher the tour would never have been such a success. In general the reviews were good, and as time went on they improved.
Esther and Damon, following their discussion over dinner after the opening night of the tour, began work in earnest and, as the weeks went by, Esther felt herself growing in confidence every time she went on stage. But she was careful not to show it too much. She was never bad, and at times she attracted some good notices, but she always kept part of herself in check so that the true extent of her improvement was hidden from Christopher’s watchful eye. She knew that he was watching her because he couldn’t understand why she had suddenly stopped letting him make love to her. Again and again she’d explained to him that because of the terrible performance she’d given on the opening night she felt that all her energies must be channelled into her work and that, sad as it was, sex was obviously a distraction she couldn’t afford.
Christopher listened, nodded and smiled but she knew that he didn’t truly believe her. Rejection was something that he hadn’t had to handle before and he was clearly at a loss as to how he should deal with it. Rebecca, on the other hand, seemed delighted at Esther’s decision and became far more friendly. On the whole the company atmosphere improved because the longer they were on the road the more they formed themselves into a unit, a group of actors against the world, or so it seemed at times. The odd unkind review where one member might be singled out for adverse criticism would unite them even more deeply and quite often Esther realised that when it all ended she would miss the sense of being a part of a special family.
That was one of the problems with acting; you spent a lot of time with people, became intensely involved with them, and then suddenly parted never to meet again. It wasn’t so bad if you had someone of your own to return to but in her case there would be no one. She hoped that the fame which would come about if their plan worked would prove sufficient to satisfy her.
Damon didn’t only help her with her role as Kay in Time and the Conways; he also coached her extensively for Ophelia in Christopher’s potted version of Hamlet. This had proved very popular with audiences and because the role suited Christopher so well it was difficult for Esther not to be overshadowed by him. The first few times it was performed she knew that she made very little impact and this was confirmed by Christopher’s enthusiasm for her performance. ‘I think we ought to do something about this,’ Damon said.
‘Well, I mustn’t look too good,’ said Esther. ‘We’re saving that for Regent’s Park.’
‘I know, but that doesn’t mean you have to look like a feeble bimbo. Ophelia’s a wretched part but I’m sure you can do more with it than you are.’
As a result of that conversation they spent a lot of hours working on it, on the nights that King Lear was being performed, which neither of them was involved in. ‘You know,’ said Damon, sitting on the edge of Esther’s bed, ‘it’s the mad scene that we need to crack.’
Watching him, Esther wished that he would give some indication that he fancied her. The problem was she was becoming keener and keener on him while he seemed more and more detached and, although he watched her closely, it was with the eyes of a director, certainly not the eyes of an aspiring lover. He would take hold of her shoulders and move her into certain positions. He would put a hand under her chin and tilt her head to a better angle – but it was all done as though they were total strangers. Esther would feel her body stir with delight every time he touched her but it seemed there was nothing she could do to encourage Damon to reciprocate.
‘Let’s run through one of your mad pieces again,’ he remarked, looking slightly tired.
‘We don’t have to,’ said Esther. She wished that the whole company wasn’t staying in one large house and that she and Damon could have a little more privacy but at this particular venue – in Wales – it hadn’t worked out that way.
‘I know we don’t have to but I want to,’ said Damon. ‘If you really want these scouts from Hollywood to notice you you’ve got to be able to do more than play Kay convincingly. You do realise that they’ve probably got people watching us a lot of the time during this tour, don’t you?’
‘I hadn’t thought about it,’ confessed Esther.
‘Well, you bloody well should have done,’ said Damon in exasperation. ‘Now then, let’s have this line: “So would I ha’ done, by yonder sun, An thou hadst not come to my bed.” Say that piece again for me, would you?’
Esther did and she saw him frown. ‘What’s the matter?’ she asked anxiously.
‘You sound mad enough,’ explained Damon, ‘but the pathos isn’t there. Remember this poor girl’s been driven mad by love. She fancies Hamlet something rotten and she knows he fancies her, but for his own peculiar reasons he’s decided to reject her. She’s like some kind of modern groupie and she just can’t cope with it. Try and imagine what it would be like to be desperately in love with someone, certain that they feel the same about you, and then suddenly have them refuse to sleep with you. There’s got to be truth in this madness otherwise it isn’t sad. It’s just watching some pretty girl go batty.’
Esther flushed. ‘I did realise that,’ she replied angrily. ‘I’m not a complete fool, you know.’
‘I know you’re not,’ sighed Damon, ‘but even if you do know it, it isn’t coming across. Give me that whole verse again and when you come to the end and say those two lines I want to really feel for you, OK?’
Esther looked at his incredibly handsome face and felt a surge of pure lust for him. Realising that if she replaced Hamlet with Damon in her mind then the words would be easy, this was what she did. When she came to the last two lines of the verse she heard her voice crack on the words ‘Hadst not come to my bed’ and she had a job to fight back genuine tears.
Damon shot upright on the bed. ‘That was brilliant!’ he exclaimed. ‘Why on earth didn’t you do it like that before?’
‘I don’t know,’ lied Esther.
‘Well do it like that tomorrow and you’ll bring the house down,’ Damon promised her.
He was right. The following night Esther received an unexpected round of applause after her speech in Act III scene 1 beginning: ‘O, what a noble mind is here o’erthrown’. When she’d finished the mad speech that she’d practised with Damon the previous evening, she could sense that she had the audience in the palm of her hand. It was a wonderful moment – the best of the tour so far. When they all took their bows Esther couldn’t help but notice that the clapping rose in volume as she curtsied prettily and, although Christopher got his usual tumultuous applause, his smile was somewhat strained.
‘You were a bit over the top tonight, I thought,’ he said to Esther in the wings afterwards.
Esther opened her eyes wide in feigned astonishment. ‘Was I? I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened.’
‘Nor do I but it wasn’t a bit like you,’ said Christopher. ‘In future, please, I’d rather you went back to playing it the way you have been.’
‘I’ll try, but I didn’t realise I was doing anything different,’ said Esther.
Rebecca joined them. ‘You were frightfully good tonight, Esther,’ she said with a lazy smile. ‘Kept you on your toes, Christopher.’
‘I’ve already discussed it with her,’ said Christopher. ‘There’s no more to be said.’ After that Esther knew that Damon had been right and that the pair of them were going to be able to pull off the big plan.
The days sped by all too fast and suddenly they were in London. All the fringe venues were sold out in advance and every night was a triumph. ‘Be careful,’ Damon warned Esther one evening after they’d finished Time and the Conways. ‘You were a bit too good tonight.’
‘So were you,’ said Esther. ‘Christopher gave you a really nasty look in the middle act.’
‘Point taken,’ conceded Damon. ‘We haven’t got long to wait. It doesn’t matter if we seem a bit weak for the next few days. We’re nearly there now.’
‘I’m nervous,’ Esther confessed.
‘You’ve no need to be,’ said Damon with a rare smile. ‘You’ve surprised me, Esther, and I don’t mind admitting it. You deserve to succeed. I’m quite sure you will. In fact, I’ve no doubt that you’ll get everything you want in life.’
‘Somehow I don’t think that’s true,’ said Esther softly as she walked away to get changed, leaving a slightly puzzled Damon behind her.
In order to prepare for the open-air performance at Regent’s Park the company had left themselves two spare days. By this time some of the relationships within the company had changed. For a start, Damon and Ellie were no longer an item. In fact rumour had it that Ellie was involved with George, although no one really believed this. Theresa had stopped hanging around Christopher and seemed to be more content in the company of Mary Fuller. Most of the cast assumed that Mary was acting as a kind of surrogate mother although the older ones there, who knew Mary’s sexual preferences, suspected it might be something altogether different.
Rosie was still thoroughly enjoying herself with Noel and Michael and she kept Esther highly entertained with tales of what the three of them got up to. ‘Sometimes, I can’t believe my luck,’ she told Esther. ‘It’s wonderful having two men. Obviously they don’t both feel like it all the time but I usually do and it’s only very rarely that neither of them are up to it.’
‘What on earth are you going to do when the tour’s over?’ Esther asked.
‘We’ve already thought about that,’ said Rosie. ‘We’ve contacted this touring company and we’re probably going abroad with them. At the moment we’re trying to persuade Theresa to join us.’
‘Wouldn’t that alter the dynamics of your relationship?’ asked Esther.
‘Yes, but it might add a little something as well and anyway it would be good for Theresa to have something to go on to. She hasn’t had a very nice tour really. Christopher seemed to take her up and then he dropped her.’
‘Well, according to you that’s a habit of his,’ Esther pointed out.
‘Oh, you mean Suzie,’ whispered Rosie, lowering her voice. ‘Yes, I suppose it is. I thought he was keen on you for a bit too but he’s only with Rebecca now, isn’t he?’
‘That’s really my fault,’ explained Esther. ‘I need to concentrate on my acting. I found it all a bit of a struggle.’
‘You’ve done very well,’ said Rosie. ‘One night you were really brilliant in Hamlet.’
‘Only one night?’ queried Esther.
‘Oh, you’re always good,’ said Rosie. ‘It’s just that for one night you really shone.’
Esther wanted to smile but she didn’t. At least Rosie’s words proved that Damon had been right about her. When she pulled out all the stops she became the centre of attention, and that was what she had to do when they opened in Regent’s Park.
On the final day of rehearsals, as Christopher cursed at aeroplanes going overhead and they battled with the breeze and the threat of rain the following day, as well as the changes necessary in vocal technique for this performance, Rebecca came across to Esther.
‘Damon’s not his usual self today,’ she remarked. ‘I think his performances have been dropping off a bit recently. It’s a pity when the scouts are going to be here tomorrow.’
‘Perhaps he doesn’t have the stamina for long tours,’ suggested Esther.
Rebecca shrugged. ‘Maybe. Whatever the reason, Christopher’s delighted.’
‘He shouldn’t be too pleased,’ said Esther. ‘We need a strong Ernest Beevers.’
‘He’ll be good enough,’ said Rebecca. ‘Damon’s never bad; it’s just that recently he hasn’t been as good.’ She hesitated for a moment. ‘To tell the truth I thought you’d gone off the boil a bit, too.’
Esther pulled a face. ‘Oh dear, I’d better pull my socks up, hadn’t I?’
‘Don’t worry about it,’ said Rebecca. ‘I’m sure you’ll be brilliant tomorrow. Anyway, you’ve had some really good reviews, haven’t you? Joining Christopher’s company certainly hasn’t done your career any harm.’
‘No, but it’s done yours even more good,’ replied Esther. ‘You’ve had consistently good reviews and, by the look of your performance today, playing in the open air suits you.’
For the first time Rebecca couldn’t hide her sense of self-satisfaction. ‘That’s nice of you,’ she said. ‘I think that when you act opposite someone like Christopher, and spend all your spare time around them, some of their genius can’t help but rub off on you – at least if you’ve got any talent of your own.’
‘And you certainly have that,’ said Esther, wondering if she was going too far with the flattery. She wasn’t. The other girl loved it.
‘I’m glad you’ve noticed,’ she said and then walked away.
That evening all the company dispersed in small groups to relax in any way they chose. There was nothing more to be done and Esther and Damon wandered through the London streets until they reached Damon’s favourite Italian eating house. There, over a delicious meal, Esther told him of her conversation with Rebecca. Damon nodded in approval. ‘It looks as though we’ve timed it perfectly,’ he said. ‘Do you know, for the first time in years I’m really excited about tomorrow’s performance. I can’t wait to wipe that smug smile off Christopher’s face. Every time he takes his bow I want to punch him.’
Esther was surprised. ‘Goodness, I didn’t realise you felt that strongly about him.’
‘I told you about Suzie,’ said Damon.
‘Yes, I knew you felt strongly about him but not so strongly that you wanted to hit him!’
‘Well I do,’ said Damon. ‘And when tomorrow’s over it’s Suzie that I shall be thinking of.’
Esther’s heart sank. Even at this late stage she’d half hoped that Damon was thinking of her as well as of Suzie but it seemed that she was wrong. ‘What’s the matter?’ asked Damon. ‘You look sad suddenly.’
‘Just nerves,’ explained Esther.
‘Where are you staying tonight?’
‘I’ve got somewhere,’ said Esther. ‘I’m in the same house as Rosie, Noel and Michael.’
Damon pulled a face. ‘I’ve heard that three’s company, four’s a crowd in their case,’ he remarked.
‘That’s true,’ admitted Esther, ‘but I don’t mind. It’s better than being on my own. Where are you?’
‘I’ve got a room in a small hotel,’ said Damon.
After he’d paid the bill he got up from his chair and looked thoughtfully down at Esther. ‘You really are nervous, aren’t you?’
Esther was, but that wasn’t the reason for her quietness. However, she thought it better to pretend that it was. ‘Horribly nervous,’ she murmured.
‘I think you’d better come back with me for a nightcap,’ said Damon.
Deciding that that was better than nothing Esther agreed and soon they were sitting in his hotel room sipping brandies and talking about how it would be the following day.
Esther was sitting in a large easy chair that was by the window, looking out over London, while Damon sat on a more upright chair next to his bed. Esther wondered what on earth she was going to do when tomorrow was over and she and Damon parted company. Even if they celebrated their success it was now clear that she was unlikely to become involved with him. He’d had plenty of opportunity to make a move if he’d wanted to in recent weeks and he hadn’t. A chill ran over her body and she shivered slightly. Suddenly Damon crossed the room and sat on the arm of the chair. ‘What’s the matter?’ he asked very softly.
‘Someone stepped on my grave,’ said Esther.
Damon put an arm round her and hugged her. ‘Don’t be silly,’ he whispered. ‘It’s all going to work out brilliantly. You’ve nothing to worry about and you’re going to have an incredible career.’
Esther wanted to shout at him, to tell him that it wasn’t just her career that worried her, but somehow she couldn’t find the words and she simply stared mutely at him. Then, to her utter amazement, Damon lowered his head and kissed her very tenderly on her forehead. ‘I know a good cure for first-night nerves,’ he said seductively.
Esther couldn’t believe that she was hearing him right. ‘You do?’
The eroticism between them was incredible and. now she could see desire in Damon’s eyes as he held out his hands and drew her towards the bed. He undressed her as tenderly as you would a child and then, when she was naked, gazed admiringly at her while at the same time removing his own clothes. Then the pair of them lay on the bed; Esther flat on her back with Damon propped up on one elbow looking down at her.
‘You’re incredibly beautiful, but then you already know that, don’t you?’
Esther didn’t reply. She simply couldn’t take her eyes off him and, as he stretched out his free hand towards her breasts, she waited to feel his fingers at last caressing her body. To her astonishment he didn’t; instead he moved the palm of his hand in the air about a quarter of an inch above her, circling just above her breasts, then her ribcage and then her trembling stomach. He moved his hand lower so it hovered over her legs and feet. She she could feel the movement of air but never once did he actually touch her skin. All the time he was whispering to her, telling her what he was going to do to her and how it would feel when he did. Esther longed for some direct physical contact but, perversely, at the same time, she wanted this strange caress to continue because it was the most erotic thing that anyone had ever done to her. As his hand continued to move just above her body he gently kissed her eyelids, ears, the tip of her nose and the ends of her shoulders, before letting his tongue trail over the delicate flesh at the side of her armpit.
Everything that he did was soft and gentle and yet Esther’s body was reacting as though she was being robustly aroused; as though her breasts were really being manipulated and stroked, and as though his hand was actually touching the skin of her belly and thighs. It was an amazing experience and when, at last, he let his hand move between her parted thighs she was so moist that it was easy for him to slip one finger gently inside her.
At regular intervals he would stop, sometimes just inside her entrance and sometimes further in, and when he stopped he would whisper, ‘Would you like to feel me inside you here? Or here?’ All the time he questioned her his finger would be moving, touching different parts of her that made her squirm and long for the moment when he did enter her.
After finding out exactly what she liked the most, Damon positioned himself above her and then slid his erection into her. His fingers were gliding across her nipples as he began to pump his hips and find a rhythm which suited them both.
Even as he was moving inside her, positioning and re-positioning himself so that he was stimulating her in the way that he’d discovered she liked best, Damon continued the incredibly arousing questioning. The words themselves became a different kind of caress so that she was totally enfolded in an aura of sensuality which was nothing like anything she’d experienced before.
At last she felt the slow languid pleasure that his skilful foreplay had caused building towards the delicious peak of a climax, and her body began to move beneath his. She arched her hips and thrust her pubic bone up against his to increase the stimulation. Damon, sensing that she was ready now, increased the tempo of his thrusting but continued massaging her breast and, just before she climaxed, he covered her mouth with his own so that when she finally cried out with ecstatic delight her cries were muffled by the delicious firmness of his lips. Then he too was climaxing, and she felt closer to him then than she had ever felt to any man before.
‘Was that all right for you?’ he whispered urgently as they were lying wrapped in each other’s arms a few moments later.
‘It was the best ever,’ replied Esther.
‘I didn’t mean it to happen,’ said Damon, ‘but I couldn’t hold back any more. I’ve been wanting to make love to you for weeks now.’
‘Then why didn’t you?’ asked Esther.
‘Partly because I wasn’t sure how you felt about me and also because I didn’t want to get involved.’
‘You don’t have to be involved,’ Esther assured him.
‘I don’t have any choice,’ said Damon, his voice very quiet. ‘You mean a lot to me, Esther. This isn’t something I’m going to be able to walk away from, but I know that all you’re interested in is your career.’
‘Not all,’ Esther said with a small smile. ‘Didn’t you realise how much I wanted you, too?’
Damon shook his head. ‘No, I must be blind. Perhaps I was concentrating too much on your acting.’
They lay together for a little longer and then, as Esther began to caress Damon’s taut stomach muscles and tease the paper-thin flesh over his hip bones, she felt him start to harden within her again. Suddenly they were making love once more, only this time it was fiercer and more intense, as they both allowed their sexuality full rein. It was Damon who uttered the loudest cry as he came for the second time that night.
Esther fell asleep in his arms, no longer worried about her performance the following day or even about Marcus. All she could think about was Damon and the fact that she hadn’t been wrong about his feelings for her. She didn’t want to think about the future too much because it was like tempting fate. For tonight at least she was content.