Chapter 3

 

The Haywards and Mathisons gathered in the Hayward parlor the next afternoon, whiling away the gray day in relative quiet and comfort. Mr. Hayward was sprawled in a chair reading the newspaper, Kit was writing letters at the small desk in the corner, and Mrs. Mathison and Mrs. Hayward were working out of their sewing baskets by the fire with Maddie, whose eyes kept drifting toward the window opposite her.

Thomas tried to focus on the book he was holding, but The Philosophy of Nature, or, the Influence of Scenery on the Mind and Heart just wasn’t capturing his attention.

“Maddie, would you like to take a walk with me?” he asked across the small room. “I know it’s cold outside...”

“Yes,” she answered quickly. “I believe I could use some fresh air.”

There were the usual appeals from the parents to dress warmly, which they both heeded, wearing heavy boots, thick stockings, and extra layers beneath their long coats when they met at the door. They left the house and walked along in silence for a dozen yards, not touching but not actively avoiding one another either.

“I’m so glad you asked me to walk with you,” Maddie finally said, her breath puffing out before her in a small cloud. “I wanted to thank you for last night. For the first time in over a year I danced with two other gentlemen, and had an entire conversation where Kit wasn’t even mentioned. All thanks to you.”

He’d tried to ignore her dancing partners last night—both well-dressed gentlemen with tolerable manners—but had been unable to ignore the luminous smile she’d worn all evening. He’d have run into a burning building to see that smile, but it hadn’t been for him. “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself,” he said softly, sincerely. “And that I could be of service.”

They walked along for a few more minutes without speaking before he felt her mittened hand on his arm. “I— I don’t want to impose, but might I ask another favor of you?”

“Of course,” he answered without hesitation. If there was any earthly thing he could do to make her happy, he would certainly do it.

“Would you, perhaps… We’re all going to the Duke of Alston’s Midwinter Fête a few days hence, and I thought you might...”

Ah. No dancing during this outing, but he could see where she was going. “Might like to escort you? While Kit keeps out of the way, of course.”

He said the last with a bit of cheek and she laughed nervously, clasping her hands together at her waist. “I know it’s a lot to ask...”

Thomas stopped and reached for her hands, bringing her to a gentle halt before him. “You know Kit would do anything to secure your happiness.” He squeezed her hands, wishing for a moment that they were indoors again with no need of mittens. “As would I.”

“Truly?”

“Always.”

She took a small step closer to him, dropping her gaze to the snow beneath their feet for a moment. “Then might I impose upon you for the length of your stay here?”

He pressed his lips together and raised his brows, trying to discern her meaning. “You want me to escort you instead of Kit...until I depart?”

“More than that,” she said, tipping her head back to meet his gaze. “I would like you to pretend to court me until you depart so people will know I’m not betrothed to Kit.”

She was trembling now, and Thomas tried to resist the urge to pull her against him. “You’re freezing,” he said instead. “We should go back inside and warm you up.”

Maddie shook her head. “I’m not cold. But I might be slightly terrified.”

“Of me?”

“Of what you must think of me for being so forward,” she said, releasing his hands and wrapping her arms around herself. “And of what your answer will be.”

He glanced around and, noting a copse of pines a few feet away, drew her among them, out of the wind and away from any prying eyes that might be about. “Might I be forward for a moment? You look as though you need to be held, and I would like to oblige you.”

She went into his arms without another word, pressing her cheek against his coat and holding on to him like a drowning woman to a raft. Her trembling ceased a few moments later, and Thomas felt his own muscles relax as he rested his chin on the top of her head. It was a relief and a boon to be able to offer her comfort, and the embrace gave him time to contemplate her request.

“Better?”

He felt her chest expand against him as she breathed deeply in, then contract again when she exhaled slowly. “Yes. Thank you. I don’t know what came over me...”

“You’re stuck in an undesirable situation, and need help getting out of it,” he said, palming her cheek for the briefest of touches. “I might react the same way in your place.”

“I doubt it.” She pulled back and offered him a slight smile. “But thank you for saying so. I just— I am also more than slightly terrified that I’ll never find a husband. Which I’m sure sounds silly to you.”

“Not at all,” he said. And it didn’t. He knew what society thought of women who eschewed matrimony, regardless of the reason. He also knew how much more independence she’d have as a married woman with the right husband. She’d have a home and possibly children of her own, but she’d also have the freedom to go about in public without anyone else’s permission—independence she would never be allowed as a spinster daughter still living with her parents. “I didn’t realize Kit’s presence loomed so large.”

She blew out a breath and took another half step backward, still within the circle of his arms but apart from him at the same time. “It does, even more so now that he’s come to claim his inheritance. Eligible men won’t even look at me. All they see is Kit’s intended.”

“But if someone else is courting you, the illusion of your impending marriage to Kit is shattered.”

“Exactly.” She slid her hands down his arms, clasping his fingers in hers. “There is no one else I can ask to do this, Thomas. But I don’t want you to feel pressured into agreeing. If you are uncomfortable with this idea, you may tell me so and there will be no hard feelings.”

She might not want him to feel pressured, yet he did all the same. The pressure wasn’t coming from Maddie, though—it came from himself. Certainly he wanted to do everything in his power to make her happy. Did that include inducing his own insanity? For him there would be no pretending. Anytime he touched her, looked at her, caught the scent of gardenias she often wore, he would look for all the world like a man in love because he would be one. Then he’d have to forget anything had ever happened and hie himself back to Edinburgh, while she made a life with another man.

Could he do it?

He looked down into her dark eyes and saw hope mingling with fear. If he said no, she’d remain in social limbo as Kit’s future wife without actually being Kit’s future wife.

But if he said yes he would be giving her a measure of control back. And she would be his, even if only for a few weeks.

“Have you spoken to Kit about this plan?”

“No. This is your decision alone. I came to you first.”

So there truly was no outside pressure. No one would ever know if he refused her.

But he would know. “I said that I would do anything to secure your happiness. If a beau for Christmas is what you need, than that is what I shall be.”

~*~

“You’re going to do what?”

Maddie stood with Thomas in the bedchamber he shared with his brother. Thomas wasn’t touching her, but his presence beside her was enough to bolster her courage.

“Thomas and I are going to have a faux courtship,” she repeated, meeting Kit’s gaze with determination. “And we need you to play along.”

“You’re to play this game until Thomas returns to Scotland after the New Year?”

“Yes.”

Kit’s brow wrinkled. “Won’t people just go back to assuming you and I are betrothed?”

That was a legitimate concern, particularly with Kit remaining at his childhood home not two miles away.

“Not if someone takes an interest in her before my departure,” Thomas said.

Kit raised a blond eyebrow at that, but it quickly returned to its usual place. “So I am to stay away from you in public, and I can’t spend any time with you alone during our visit.”

“I know it isn’t ideal,” Maddie told him. “I’ve missed you, and we haven’t really spent much time together since your arrival. But if we maintain a public distance, even around our parents, then I may finally have a suitor—a chance at a life of my own.”

Kit’s eyes flicked from Maddie to Thomas, then back again. “And you’ve agreed to this, brother?”

“I have.”

Maddie smiled at his declaration. She had no idea how she’d ever repay Thomas for his cooperation in this scheme, but she would spend the rest of her days finding a way.

“All right, then. I’ll play my part as well.” Kit rose from the bed where he’d been sitting and grinned. “I suppose that means we won’t be playing skittles together this year, then.”

Maddie laughed. They had a rivalry in that sport that stretched back to their first Midwinter Fête as children, and this year was a tie-breaking year. “I’m afraid not.”

“Perhaps Thomas will take up the Mathison mantle on my behalf, then.” Kit winked at his brother. “Keep the tradition going.”

“I’ll do my best,” Thomas grinned.

The three of them played their assigned parts over the next few days: Kit remaining friendly but never alone with Maddie, Thomas becoming more attentive to her, taking her aside from time to time for a private conversation when their parents were about, and Maddie herself pretending she didn’t miss the closeness she had with Kit even as she enjoyed spending more time with Thomas.

By the time the two families arrived at the Duke of Alston’s estate for the Midwinter Fête, it was becoming second nature for Maddie to take Thomas’s arm and walk with him as if they’d been courting for months.

“Where would you like to go first?” he asked, as their various family members scattered in different directions.

Maddie looked around at the booths and tents that stretched off into the distance. “That way.” She pointed to her left, where a booth sat with cakes decorating every horizontal surface. “I can smell the warm cinnamon from here. Perhaps they have Chelsea buns.”

“Excellent idea.”

They had only made it halfway to their destination, though, when they came upon a crying child. Dressed all in gray wool, he looked to be a boy of perhaps five years old with tears pouring down his cheeks.

Maddie knelt down in the snow, heedless of the cold that immediately began to soak into her own clothing. “Whatever is the matter?” she asked softly.

“I can’t find my brother,” the child wailed, rubbing his eyes.

Maddie tried to smile reassuringly, thumbing tears off his cheeks. “Maybe we can help you find him.”

She turned and shot a questioning look up at Thomas, who dropped to one knee beside her. “I’m certain we can. If I put you up on my shoulders, you’ll be taller than everyone here. I’d wager you’d be able to see your brother then.”

The boy turned wide eyes on Thomas. “Taller than everyone?”

Thomas nodded solemnly and Maddie felt her heart swell. Many men were awkward with children, but Thomas’s manner with the little boy was as easy as if they’d always been friends.

“Yes,” Thomas said. “Would you like to try?”

The boy sniffled, but nodded.

“Here, I’ll lift you up,” Maddie offered, reaching for the child as Thomas sank down onto his haunches. She scooped the boy up and hefted him onto Thomas’s shoulders, bracing him until Thomas had a firm hold on him.

Thomas rose to his feet slowly and turned to her. “Where should we start, do you think?”

She choked back a laugh. The boy had his little arms wrapped around the crown of Thomas’s head, and Thomas carried on as if the situation was perfectly normal. “Where was the last place you saw your brother?” she called up to the boy.

“By the toys,” he answered, knocking Thomas’s hat off and leaning down into his curly hair.

“By the toys,” Thomas echoed resolutely, smiling at Maddie when she scooped up his hat and handed it back to him. “Let’s try there first.” He held his hat in one hand and reached out the other to Maddie, which she took with a grin she couldn’t smother.

Her grin did fade a bit after nearly thirty minutes of searching. But the child finally spotted his missing brother near the bonfire burning at the edge of the festivities. The brother, they discovered, had gone to procure food for the both of them, confident that his youngest sibling was following along behind...until he’d turned to find the boy wasn’t behind him at all.

Thomas hoisted the child up and over his head, setting him down on the ground. “You stick close to your brother for the rest of the night, now,” he said, his tone serious but amiable.

“Yes sir.”

“But if you do lose him again, we’ll help you find him.”

The boy smiled brightly. “Thank you!”

He scurried off with his older brother, and Maddie clasped Thomas’s hand in both of hers. “That is possibly the sweetest thing I have ever seen.”

“The boy? He was rather cute, wasn’t he?”

She laughed, leaning in to rest her head against his shoulder. She shouldn’t have with all the people swirling around them, but it was less scandalous than throwing her arms around him the way she wanted to.

“The pair of you,” she clarified. “You’re a natural with children.”

He smiled down at her for a long moment. “I do hope to have some of my own one day.”

An image popped into her head of Thomas leading a cluster of redheaded children to a brook for a day of fishing, of a tender Thomas bending to instruct the little ones how to hold a rod, smiling over their heads at their unseen mother.

“You’ll make a marvelous father when the time comes,” she said, pushing the thought from her mind.

“I hope so.” He was quiet for a spell, adjusting his grip on her hands but never releasing them. Then, “Do you want children, Maddie?”

Children with curly auburn hair and blue eyes like their father? She gave herself a mental shake. “Erm, yes, I do. Someday.”

But, she reminded herself, not with Thomas. He had a life to return to that didn’t include her, and she had a future husband out there somewhere waiting to be found.

“Well, we still have some of the evening left to ourselves.” She forced her mouth into a smile to cover the abrupt change in subject. “What should we do next?”