Meg stood on the front step of Zane Martin's house, vibrating with anger. The elegant lines of the impressive three-story brick structure, the manicured grounds and the expensive car in the driveway only fueled her fury. Who the hell did he think he was? Just because he had money didn't give him the right to manipulate people, to push them into situations that would affect them for the rest of their lives.
A girl with dark blonde hair falling in thick waves around her shoulders, answered her impatient knock. They stared at each other for a moment, neither of them quite knowing what to say. Meg cleared her throat.
"Erin? I'm Meg Evans, Tom's mother." She held out her hand.
Erin blinked once and then took her hand, shaking it briefly with a firm, confident grip. She was shorter then Meg, maybe five foot three, with an angelic oval face of pale alabaster. But despite her petite stature and delicate features, Meg sensed a strong woman in the making.
"It's nice to finally meet you, Ms. Evans," she said. "Please come in."
She stepped aside to let Meg pass. The inside of the house proved even more impressive than the outside. The heels of her sensible work shoes clicked against the marble tiled floor. Tasteful pieces of art decorated the walls in strategic places. Meg got the feeling they were there more to impress visitors than because of any deep, abiding love the owner might have felt for them. However beautiful, Zane Martin's house felt more like a museum than a home.
"I'm glad to finally meet you too, Erin. How have you been feeling?"
The girl smiled and seemed to relax a little. "Tired, but at least the nausea has passed."
Meg smiled back. "Yes, I remember feeling that way too, as if I could sleep for a year." She didn't add that at times she was afraid to sleep. "I hope that sometime soon we can go out for lunch and get to know each other, but today I really need to speak to your father. Is he home?"
"Hello, Meg."
Meg turned to see Zane Martin leaning casually against a doorframe with a coffee cup in his hand. For a moment her traitorous body reacted like any woman's would to an attractive man. Her eyes ran down the length of his body, noting the narrow hips and trim waist, the broad shoulders that suggested strength.
Today he was dressed in jeans and a casual shirt. He appeared far more comfortable in them than in the suits she'd seen him in previously. The corner of his mouth turned up as if he read her thoughts.
Meg lifted her chin slightly, clamping down the urge to wipe the smirk off his face. "I need to talk to you."
He stepped towards her. "Would you like some coffee? I just made a fresh pot."
"Thank you, no. If I could just have a few moments of your time."
Zane glanced at Erin, and then nodded at Meg. "Sure. We can talk in my office."
Meg turned to Erin and smiled. "I'll call you soon and we can talk some more."
"I'd like that."
Zane led the way to his office. Light streamed in through the large east-facing window. The window was flanked by floor-to-ceiling bookshelves packed with books. A large mahogany desk was cluttered with papers and blueprints, and on the wall behind the desk hung photos of Erin at various ages. This room radiated much more warmth and hominess than the ones she'd seen so far.
Zane shut the door behind them. "What can I do for you?"
"You can stop acting like a dictator for a start."
His eyebrow rose in mild inquiry. "I don't know what you mean."
Meg fought to hang on to her temper. "You couldn't bully Tom into marrying Erin, so now you've resorted to bribery. Did you think that dangling a partnership in front of him was going to make him care about Erin any more? What kind of relationship would they have if it started out as a business deal?"
"I was simply pointing out to Tom what he might expect if he became my son-in-law. I just offered him a job."
"Yes, you offered him the job as Erin's husband." She took a step towards him. "You have some stupid Victorian notion that our grandchild is inferior because his parents aren't married. I'm sorry for the problems you had in your childhood, but don't make Erin and Tom pay for them now."
Zane's eyes narrowed and his jaw twitched. "I'm not doing that."
"Aren't you?" He was looming over her now, and she had to tilt her head to look up into his angry face. She hated confrontations and her body trembled, but she had to say her piece and protect her son. It occurred to her that regardless of his size, she didn't fear him anymore. Despite her earlier beliefs, she knew instinctively he wasn't like Paul. "If that's true then ask yourself why the opinions of others are more important to you than your daughter's happiness."
He stared at her, as if made speechless by her words. They were standing only a few inches apart, so close that Meg could make out the different shades of blue in his eyes. She could also see the hurt that lay just under the surface, like a wound that had never quite healed. She was sorry for that; she didn't wish to inflict pain on anyone. But better he face the truth than condemn their children to a life of unhappiness.
"I'd better go." She turned and opened the door, stopping short when she saw Erin directly in her path. Tears streamed down the girl's pale face and she held one hand over her womb as if to protect her unborn child. Meg felt sick inside. She'd never meant for Erin to hear what her father had proposed to Tom.
"Daddy, is that true? Did you offer Tom a partnership in the company if he married me?"
Zane went to his daughter and tried to put his arm around her but she avoided his embrace. Fresh hurt flashed across his face.
"I spoke to Tom. I was just trying to help him, to show him how good his life could be if he married you."
Erin's chin quivered. "Do you know how insulting that is? I'm such a loser that my father has to bribe a man to marry me. How could I ever marry Tommy now? How would I know if he married me because he cares about me or because he got a really great job with the deal?" She took a deep, shuddering breath. "I'm not marrying anyone, ever."
With that she turned and ran from the room. Zane called after her, but she ignored his pleas. He turned to Meg, his angry, flushed face making the scar above his eye even more pronounced. "Thanks a lot, Ms. Evans. You've succeeded in alienating my daughter from me."
Meg swallowed. Had she been wrong to confront him today?
No. She had to protect Tommy, and Erin too, from Zane's obsessive need for them to marry.
She lifted her gaze to his, refusing to be intimidated. "No, Mr. Martin. You've managed to do that all by yourself."
With that she walked out of the house without a backwards glance.
* * * *
A week later Zane entered Joe's Diner just after one in the afternoon. To his chagrin, the restaurant was still packed with the lunch hour crowd. He'd wanted to talk to Meg Evans, and since she'd refused to take his calls, he'd have to do it here.
A pretty young waitress with curly blonde hair and a big smile seated him at a table. "Can I get you some coffee?"
"Yes, please, and a cheeseburger with fries." He handed back the menu. "Would you mind asking Ms. Evans if she could speak to me a moment when she's free?"
"Ms. Evans?" The waitress smiled. "You mean Meg? Can I tell her who's asking for her?"
He wondered if Meg would head out the back door if she knew he was there, and then decided she had more guts than that. "Zane Martin."
"Aren't you the fellow who was in here asking for Meg a couple of weeks ago?" When Zane nodded, she smiled again and extended her hand. "Hi, I'm Jane Evans. Are you and Meg friends?"
Jane's undisguised interest made Zane smile. "Our children are...friends."
"Oh, that's nice. I'll bring you your coffee right away and tell Meg you'd like to speak with her." She hurried away with his order.
Zane scanned the restaurant. It had an old-fashioned diner motif with booths covered in red leatherette and matching stools lined up along a front counter. A glass-fronted refrigeration case was filled with pies, the featured star of the restaurant. People traveled to the restaurant from all over the city to sample the homemade pies, many made from local fruits when in season. He remembered bringing his mother here a few years ago for her favorite, lemon meringue. He wondered if they still made it and if it still tasted as good.
A moment later Meg emerged from the kitchen, her long dark hair caught back in a ponytail and making her look about nineteen. She poured a cup of coffee and brought it to his table, her face unsmiling.
"Jane tells me you have something to say to me." Suddenly her face changed, a look of alarm replacing the wariness. "Erin's okay, isn't she? Has something happened?"
"No, Erin's fine, just still angry with me, that's all. I came to apologize to you--again. I seem to be doing a lot of that these days."
Her mouth briefly quirked in a smile. "I appreciate the sentiment, but I think Tom is the one you really need to apologize to."
"I did. I found him studying at your apartment." He sighed and took a sip of his coffee. "We made a deal. He's going to work as a laborer for the commercial construction division this summer. He'll be paid the same as anyone else we hire for the summer and he'll get no special treatment. The company needs summer help and he needs a job. That's all there is to it."
"All right. If Tom's okay with it I guess I am, too." She slid into the seat across from him. "How's Erin, really? Is she feeling okay?"
Zane sighed. Coping with Erin's ever changing moods, the crying one minute and the hysterical laughter the next, perplexed and frustrated him. He didn't know what to do for her, and anything he tried seemed to only make things worse. She was approaching the four-month mark, and the closer she got to term the more worried he became. She was her mother's daughter after all.
"I'm hoping things will improve once her final exams are over next week. She's tired and moody, and apparently all men are scum, with me right at the head of the line."
This time Meg made no effort to hide the smile that blossomed on her face. It transformed her, making her seem young and carefree, and the beauty of it took his breath away. "Well, I guess she's got the right to be a little cranky."
"Yeah, I guess so. She should be out with her friends, shopping, looking for a summer job, all the things eighteen year old girls are supposed to do, instead of sleeping and throwing up all day."
Meg stiffened and her eyes resumed their wary appearance. "It's not exactly a cakewalk for Tom either. He takes his responsibility to Erin and the baby very seriously."
Zane briefly closed his eyes and chided himself for making her angry again. "Meg, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply that it was easy for Tom. I guess I'm not handling things very well."
She pushed herself out of the booth, her face still unsmiling. "It will be a lot easier on all of us when you do."
She made a move to leave, but Zane grabbed her hand, preventing her escape. She looked pointedly at their entwined fingers but he held on anyway. "I want to buy the baby a crib, but I don't know the first thing about them. Will you come shopping with me?"
Where did that come from? He hadn't actually given the purchase of a crib a thought until just that moment. He still had trouble thinking of Erin's pregnancy as resulting in the birth of a real, live infant. Meg said nothing, her brow furrowed in thought. His words came out in a rush, as he continued to squeeze her hand.
"Look, I know I've been a jerk, but I'm really trying here. Cut me a little slack, will you?"
Her lips turned up on one corner. "Well, at least you admit you're a jerk." She pulled on her hand and he let it go. "I'll come shopping with you on one condition. You let me pay half."
He started to protest and then abandoned the idea. They both knew he could afford the crib far easier than she could, but he saw by the determination in her eyes that this was a point of pride for her. Pride he could understand. This was her grandchild too and she'd pay her fair share.
Zane nodded. "Okay, it's a deal. When's a good time for you?"
"How about tomorrow evening? I'm off at seven."
"Fine. I'll pick you up here."
Meg nodded her assent and headed back to the kitchen. Zane watched the swing of her ponytail as she walked away, its cadence matching the gentle sway of her hips. He sipped on his coffee and thought about what she'd said to him last week. Why are the opinions of others more important to you than your daughter's happiness?
Why should he care what other people thought of his family? It wasn't as if Erin was the first girl in history to ever get pregnant without being married. He'd finally abandoned the idea of Erin marrying the father of her baby, though it hadn't been easy for him to do. Everyone's refusal to go along with his idea forced him to examine why this marriage meant so much to him. He finally came to the conclusion that it had more to do with his circumstances then Erin's. He was the one who'd never overcome the childhood taunts and rejections.
He bowed his head and gripped the handle of his coffee cup. Zane loved his mother, but for forty years she'd been keeping a secret. She'd never told him the name of the man who'd fathered him.
Even after all these years he still felt empty and angry. Had his father abandoned them knowing his mother was pregnant, or had he simply disappeared from their lives never knowing Zane existed? No matter what the reason, the pain was still strong. He knew he'd never have any peace until he discovered the identity of his father and the reason his mother had kept it secret from him all these years. He had a right to know where he came from. But how did he convince his mother of that without hurting her?
* * * *
Meg could think of plenty of reasons to avoid seeing Zane Martin. She'd built a good life for herself and her son, and she couldn't let anything, or anyone, ruin it for them. In her experience, relationships with men brought nothing but heartache and pain.
So knowing all this, why did her heart begin to beat faster when he walked into the restaurant?
Wednesdays and Fridays were her days to wait on tables while Maria took the early shift to bake the pies and cinnamon buns. She bustled around the diner, picking up dishes and pouring coffee, trying to ignore Zane's presence and the effect he seemed to have on her. It was just hormones, she told herself as she poured coffee and chatted with two elderly ladies. Just her body's reaction to an attractive man that her brain could overcome. If it wanted to.
What was she thinking? Of course it wanted to. Hormones had gotten her into plenty of trouble twenty years ago. It was too frightening to go down that road again.
She lifted her head and saw Zane watching her. She sighed and walked over to his table. He was dressed casually in a tan golf shirt and navy blue Dockers, but on him they looked anything but casual. Meg raised her coffee pot.
"You're early. I have to finish my shift and freshen up a little before we go shopping. Would you like some coffee while you wait?"
"Sure. Actually I came early on purpose. I remember having a pretty terrific lemon meringue pie here years ago. Do you still make it?"
She grinned, amused at his request. "Of course, but I'm not sure if there's any left. It's our biggest seller. Do you have a second choice, just in case?"
He thought it over for a minute. "I don't know. What's good?"
"Everything. We make everything from scratch in our kitchen. But I would say our second biggest seller is apple. I know we have lots of that because I made about twenty apple pies yesterday."
He looked surprised. "You make the pies?"
"Maria and I take turns." She laughed at his stunned expression. "Why is that so surprising?"
"I don't know. I just thought..." He flushed.
Meg enjoyed his distress. "You just thought I was a dumb little waitress who couldn't possibly have any other skills? Well, I hate to disillusion you but I not only wait tables and bake pies, but I help plan the menus and keep the books for Joe."
Zane looked her straight in the eye, his blue gaze seeming to bore straight into her. "I have to stop underestimating you, Meg. You're obviously a woman of many talents. I apologize for jumping to conclusions."
Meg couldn't seem to move or break free from his gaze. Finally, after what seemed like forever, she averted her eyes and gave a shaky laugh. "At least your apologies are getting better. I'll bring your pie in a minute."
She found the last piece of lemon meringue in the refrigerator case and set it on a plate for Zane. She closed the fridge door with her hip and started back to his table.
"Hey sweetheart. How about a little sugar over here?"
Meg suppressed the urge to club the customer over the head with her coffee pot. Fending off over-eager customers was all part of the job. "Can I help you, sir?"
His gaze ran slowly up and down her body. "You sure can, honey. How about bringing me some of that pie? Maybe later we can test whether that motto on the license plates is really true. How friendly is 'Friendly Manitoba'?"
From the corner of her eye she saw Joe watching with a grim expression. She gave him a slight shake of her head. He'd had to intervene on occasion for both her and Jane when a male customer got a little too familiar. Fortunately those occasions were rare.
"We're friendly, to a point," she said, trying to keep her smile in place. "If you'll excuse me I'll bring your pie as soon as I serve my other customer."
"Now, don't go running away, honey." He put his hand around her waist, stopping her retreat and forcing her closer to him. Meg smelled the alcohol on his breath, and fought back the panic that the stale odor always raised. His hand lowered to touch her butt and she stiffened.
"Let me go." She tried to free herself without losing the pie or spilling the coffee on him. She saw Joe step out from behind the counter, and relaxed a little. She could always depend on him.
"The lady said to let her go."
Meg turned her head to see Zane standing beside her, a murderous look on his face and his hands fisted at his sides. The jerk in booth six tightened his hold on her. Apparently he couldn't read body language.
"This is none of your business. The lady and I were getting acquainted."
"The lady doesn't want to get acquainted with you. I said let her go."
The jerk pulled Meg closer. "And I said this ain't none of your business."
Zane's next move was so quick Meg didn't see it coming. He pushed the pie into the jerk's face, surprising him enough that he let go of his hold on Meg's waist. Zane pushed her out of the way, grabbed the jerk by the collar, and tossed him out the front door. The restaurant erupted in applause.
"Meg, honey, are you okay?" Joe took the coffee pot from her hands and set it on a table. She leaned towards him, and he put his arms around her. Joe was shorter than she was but had always seemed like the biggest man in the world to her.
"I'm okay."
Zane returned, his expression grim. "Did he hurt you?"
Meg was surprised at the tension in his face and the anger she heard in his voice. "No, I'm fine. Joe, I don't think you've met Zane Martin. He's Tommy's girlfriend's father. Zane, this is Joe Evans."
Joe nodded in comprehension and held out his hand to Zane. Meg and Tom had told everyone about his impending fatherhood. "I'm glad to meet you. Thanks for helping Meg."
Zane shook hands with Joe, but watched Meg's face. "My pleasure."
Meg felt uncomfortable under his scrutiny. "Zane and I were just about to go shopping for a crib for the baby. He came to pick me up."
"Why don't you two go now? I can cover you," Joe said.
Meg kissed his cheek. "Thanks Joe. I owe you one."
Joe pretended gruffness. "You owe me more than one."
In the staff washroom, Meg scrubbed her face and then took out her ponytail and brushed her hair until it shone. Her hand shook as she pulled the brush through her hair and it annoyed her. There was no way she'd let some drunken jerk rattle her. She'd survived much worse than that.
After she changed out of her work clothes, she grabbed her jacket and stepped back out into the restaurant. Zane had resumed his seat and sat quietly drinking his coffee, his face still grim. Meg walked up to his table.
"I feel really badly."
He looked up at her sharply. "Why?"
"I know how much you wanted that pie and that was the last piece of lemon meringue."
For a moment he just stared at her and then his face split in a wide grin. The smile made him look happy and carefree, two emotions she hadn't seen in him before. She ignored the pull of his smile, the magnetism that wanted to bring her to his side.
"It's okay," he said with a laugh. "It went for a good cause."
Meg nodded. "Let's go buy our baby a crib."
* * * *
"That's not how it goes."
Zane looked over at Meg who was carefully studying the assembly instructions included with the crib. He tried to be annoyed with her for criticizing his efforts, but it was pretty hard when he knew he wasn't exactly doing a bang-up job. "Would you like to put this thing together yourself?"
He'd had a thoroughly enjoyable evening sparring with Ms. Evans over which crib to buy. The last fifteen minutes had been spent wrangling over the set up of the crib. They'd brought the crib to his house and taken it up to the bedroom that was going to become the nursery. Zane found perverse pleasure in getting a rise out of her. He'd been told that his size, combined with his scars and his not altogether sunny nature, intimidated women. Meg Evans was not easily intimidated, despite his best efforts.
She held the assembly instructions in front of his face. "What I'd like is to get this thing put together before the baby goes to college. Look, screw A does not go into slot B. If you'd just take a minute to read the instructions I could be out of your hair in five minutes."
"Promises, promises." He took apart the pieces he'd already put together. "Okay, Ms. I-know-how-to-do-this-better-than-you-do. Go for it."
Meg laid out the instructions in front of her. "Okay, first we take the headboard and connect it to the mattress board using screw A." She laid out the pieces in front of her. "Can you hold the pieces in place while I screw them together?"
"Yes, master."
"God, you're grumpy."
"We've been at this for hours."
"And whose fault is that?"
Zane knew when to shut up.
Meg put the pieces together. "Now we attach the footboard." Once more, Zane held the pieces together until she could secure them with the screws. The rest of the assembly went smoothly. He lifted the mattress into the crib.
"It looks okay." He shook the crib to test its sturdiness.
Meg began to laugh and the sound of it made him think of music. "Whoa. Hold the presses," she said. "Was that a compliment?"
He tested the rails of the crib, sliding them up and down. "I suppose so."
She grinned. "As compliments go, it's pretty feeble, but I'll take it." She made a little bow. "Thank you. I owe it all to my ability to follow instructions, something some people, who shall remain nameless, are incapable of doing."
He watched her, thoroughly charmed, but kept his face carefully neutral. "Don't get a swelled head."
She stretched a little and rolled her shoulders before checking her watch. "It's after eleven. I'd better get home. I'm working the early shift tomorrow."
"I'll get my keys."
"That's okay. The bus stop's not far. You must be tired too, and it won't take me long to get home."
"Right. As if I'd let you walk around in the dark and take a bus alone at this time of night."
She stared at him as if surprised by the forcefulness of his offer. "I'm a big girl, Zane. I can look after myself."
"I'm sure you can look after yourself just fine. In broad daylight. But after dark is a whole different story."
Her eyes narrowed. "Don't patronize me."
Just the thought of Meg standing alone in the dark at a deserted bus stop gave him the creeps. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that. I'm just saying I picked you up and I'll take you home. End of discussion."
"What discussion? You just issued an edict."
"He's really good at that, isn't he?"
Zane and Meg both turned to see Erin in the doorway, her bare feet peeking out from under her nightgown. Her blonde hair was tousled from sleep. With a start, Zane noted the swell of her abdomen under the nightgown. His heart made a painful thump. She was really starting to look pregnant.
"Sorry to wake you, honey."
She grinned sleepily. "That's okay. I had to pee anyway. Again. What are you doing in here?"
"Putting together the crib."
"The crib?" Erin looked around the room until she found the crib. She made a little moue of surprise. "It's beautiful."
She ran her hands over the smooth railing. "I can't believe you guys did this." Her voice hitched. "Oh damn, I'm going to cry again."
Without a second of hesitation or awkwardness, Meg stepped to Erin and put her arms around her. "It's okay, honey. Cry all you like."
Erin snuggled against Meg's shoulder. "Did you cry for no good reason when you were pregnant?"
Meg's body went suddenly tense, and Zane saw a cloud of sadness pass over her face. "Yeah, I cried a lot."
"It's a really beautiful crib, Meg. Thank you so much."
"Don't thank me. It was your Dad's idea. I just put it together for him." Her last statement was said with a wink in his direction. Erin flung herself into Zane's embrace and he held on tight, closing his eyes as he rocked her gently in his arms. How could it be that his baby was having a baby?
"Thank you Daddy." She pulled away from him a little to look into his face. "I know how disappointed you've been in me. I'm going to try to make it up to you somehow."
Zane kissed her forehead. "You've never been anything but a joy to me, Erin. Don't forget that. I've always been proud of you and I always will be."
Fresh tears pooled in her eyes but Erin blinked them away. "Okay."
Zane felt a little choked up himself. "Go back to bed now. I'm going to take Meg home."
Erin laughed and wiped a stray tear from her cheek. "You might as well go quietly Meg, because once he takes that tone of voice you're doomed."
Meg smiled at Erin and then glanced at him. Zane was doing his best to look severe and disapproving. She shrugged. "Well, perhaps getting a ride home is the prudent thing to do."
"Meg, do you think you and I could go shopping together? For baby things I mean? I don't have any clothes or blankets or anything yet."
Meg put her arm around Erin's shoulder and smiled. "I'd love that. Call me as soon as you've finished your exams and we'll set a date."
Erin gave her one last hug. "I'll do that. Goodnight." She hugged Zane again and went back to her room. Meg stared out the doorway after her.
"You're a really good dad."
The compliment surprised him. He loved his daughter with every fiber of his being but there had been many times in the last eighteen years when he wondered if he was a good dad. He answered her honestly. "Thanks, but half the time I don't know what I'm doing."
She smiled, and Zane wondered where the sadness in her eyes came from. He wished he could ask her, wished he were the type of man who easily shared or elicited intimacies.
"Some fathers don't get things right even half the time."
For a moment she seemed to be someplace far away, seeing a past he had no right to intrude upon. Then she roused herself, shrugging off the gloom like an old coat and forcing a smile. "If you're ready, I'll take you up on that offer for a ride now."
They drove the quiet streets back to her nondescript St. James apartment. Zane searched for something to say while Meg rummaged in her purse for the keys. He found he was reluctant to let her go and end their evening together.
"Do you get a lot of guys like the one tonight in the restaurant?"
The question seemed to surprise her. "No, not very often, fortunately. But it happens once in a while."
"I don't like the idea of some guy pawing you."
She blinked at him a couple of times. "I'm not real crazy about it myself. But I can handle it."
"Like you handled it tonight? He was all over you."
"I was fine, and besides Joe was there." She frowned at him, her voice taut with irritation. "What makes my job any of your business anyway?"
"This."
He pulled her into his arms, his mouth covering hers before she had a chance to protest. At first she held herself stiff and unyielding, but after a moment she made a little sound deep in her throat, and her lips softened against his. She touched his face in a gentle caress and Zane's heart melted inside his chest. She tasted so sweet, like one of the lemon pies she baked. He tried to pull her closer, to meld her body against his, but the small confines of the car wouldn't allow it. Frustration ate at him.
"Damn," he said.
It was as if he had broken a spell. Meg stared at him, her eyes huge and full of panic. She fumbled to fasten the buttons of her jacket, but couldn't seem to make her fingers work.
"I'm sorry Zane. I can't... I just can't. I have to go."
She bolted from the car, her jacket sliding down her shoulders as she ran. Zane got out of the car, intending to apologize, but by the time he got to the sidewalk, she'd already slipped inside the building.
He stood there for several seconds, berating himself. He'd acted no better than the creep who pawed her in the restaurant. If she never wanted to see him again, he'd understand.
But he'd regret it for a very long time.