Naomi Meadows was already at the table, and so was her leading man, Gavin Isaacs, who played Captain Hook in their production. Naomi was stylish and stunning, wearing slim jeans with a wide belt and a red silk blouse, and he was a very, very good-looking Captain Hook, with dark eyes and shadowy stubble and shoulder-length dark hair. The kind of good looking that shuts your mouth in nerves. Charisma came off him in waves. He looked familiar, but I couldn’t place him. Later, we realized he was one of the bad guys in that series of action movies, Thriller Road, one, two, three, etc. Mer and I had seen maybe the first one and that was all.
The restaurant was large and industrial inside, but the outside patio where we sat was romantic, strung with white lights, the tables candlelit and warmed by heat lamps. It was called Foreign Cinema because a movie played on the wall of a building in front of us. That night, it was The Princess Bride. You couldn’t really hear it, it was too noisy out there, but the flickering images played above that beautiful patio, charming and dreamlike.
There was a lot of talk about the hip new version of Peter Pan they were in—how audiences were different in various cities, a recounting of where the show would go next and next and next. Naomi Meadows, who was a bigger star now than Lila, was still all Miss Lila this, and Miss Lila that. There was playful, fun reminiscing about the shooting of the pilot years ago. They ordered drinks and appetizers—antipasto, a pear and endive salad, another salad of beets and blood oranges—but we didn’t order dinner yet because Jake was supposed to be joining us later, something Lila hadn’t mentioned before.
Meredith was acting so shy and nervous that it was making me nervous. Or maybe I was nervous on my own, because people kept staring and whispering and someone came and asked Gavin Isaacs for his autograph, proving that people had watched way, way more of those action movies than I had.
The waiter kept returning to ask if we were ready to order dinner, but we were still waiting for Jake. The appetizer plates were taken. Meredith asked if she could take a photo with all of them, which embarrassed me, but Lila loved it. Gavin Isaacs got his third Mosswood whiskey. Lila was on her third glass of wine. Naomi Meadows ordered another sparkling water with lime. Lila kept looking at her phone. Gavin Isaacs said he was starving, so we all ordered anyway. He was acting like the leader, the way that some guys do, even at a table of women.
In spite of the beautiful plates—the swordfish and Kobe steak and duck breast and sesame seed fried chicken—as well as Naomi’s laugh and Gavin Isaacs’s joking (probably due to the fourth Mosswood), I could feel the mood slipping. Lila kept saying things like He must have gotten caught up and There must have been an emergency and His phone must have died. Meredith kept looking at the movie screen, and Gavin Isaacs’s eyes began to search for the waiter. The waiter brought complimentary desserts, and Gavin Isaacs’s face dropped, as if the tray held a stack of pressing paperwork instead of cheesecake drizzled with a pomegranate and cranberry sauce.
If the mood was already slipping, it then took a plunge. Naomi Meadows leaned across the table and set her hand over Lila’s. “I hope you’re all right,” she said. In that loud room, it sounded like, “I HOPE YOU’RE ALL RIGHT.”
Lila took her hand back. “I’m fine.”
“I mean…” Naomi Meadows circled her finger in the direction of Lila’s eye.
“I walked into my closet door.”
Meredith kicked me under the table. Of course I’d heard it too. How she’d told us cabinet door and now said closet door. I started to feel anxious. No. I felt alarmed.
“I hope you know I’m always here for you,” Naomi said. Things turned suddenly too intimate. Gavin Isaacs pushed his chair back and hunted down the waiter. I saw him shove his credit card at the poor guy; he wanted out of there so bad. Lila was smiling, but it was like cracks were forming on her face. Bits of her psyche were showing through.
“And I am always here for you,” she said.
We rode home in silence, though Meredith kept nudging my foot with her foot. Lila was driving a little too fast. I was sure Meredith had been counting those glasses of wine. Meredith’s fingers gripped the edge of the seat. I didn’t know what she expected me to do. When we got home, Lila threw her car keys on the kitchen counter. “Fucking bastard,” she said.
Meredith and I crept upstairs away from Lila and her anger. Awkwardness sat like a third person between us. It reminded me of when weird Andrew Wilcox would sit with us at lunch.
“Do you want to watch a movie or something?” I said.
“I think I’ll just go to bed. I’m really tired,” Meredith said.
“Okay. See you in the morning.”
I took Max out to pee. On the third floor, the window of the guest room was open. Over the sound of the Max waterfall, I could hear the low murmurs of Meredith’s voice on the phone. I wondered who she was talking to. At that hour, it was probably Ellen. As I stood in the garden, I felt the shame of us, the truth of us, my so-called family. In the moonlight, Max trotted around the yard, and I watched the clouds glide through the skeleton bones of the house next door. Finally, it was quiet. Meredith must have hung up.
I took a photo of the sky. Big moon, I texted Nicco. We hadn’t talked all day, with Meredith visiting. I was so lonely for someone who knew me. I’d probably felt that way my whole life.
Big missing, he texted back.
I stared at the guest room window. I wondered what Meredith was thinking up there.
Even in the garden under the moon, I could feel Meredith’s worry. In that house, the tension had been ratcheting up and up and up, but I’d been living with it. I’d maybe even gotten used to it, little by little. But there was something about having Meredith there. There was something about seeing everything through someone else’s eyes, not just a city.
And for the first time, I was anxious because she was anxious. I was shocked because she was shocked.
I was scared because she was scared.