“From O’Hare Airport’s Economy Parking Lot F...”

It is Episode 6,002

April 14, 2015

Alan Kalter introduces Dave with, “And now . . . young wiry rider of the Pony Express . . . David Letterman.” The monologue topics are tax season (taxes are due the following day), the Transportation Security Administration, and the 2016 presidential campaign. Dave asks, “Can you feel the indifference?”

Jim Mulholland (Writer): We developed annual topics, like “my tax accountant.” We would do them during tax season. Those were things we learned from writing for Johnny Carson. There are annual things we could do, like jokes about Dave’s mother or his Uncle Earle. 

Act 2 has Dave at the desk, where viewers are usually given a prepared comedy piece or, in the final six weeks, a best-of clip package, but once again the show veers from the prepared to the spontaneous. 

Bill Scheft (Writer): This is why the Letterman show has always been like no other. I wish I could tell you it has something to do with me, but it does not. We had all the elements in place for the show and then, ten minutes before Dave goes downstairs, he sees someone’s phone video of Todd Seda, the cue card boy who is known on the show as “Todd the Intern,” jumping over a conference table on the fourteenth floor. Instantly, that became the Act 2 comedy piece. 

Jill Goodwin (Writer): Todd is one of the most flexible people you will ever meet. He can hop over stuff or swing around poles. To see Dave buy into that and put it on the show was really fun.

Bill Scheft: I’m sure, like many things, this started as someone just trying to make Dave laugh. But Dave immediately saw it as something much more compelling than anything we had been working on all day. And it was. It will always be the stuff on the fly people will remember. 

Jill Goodwin: I like when there is some peek behind the curtain. That is kind of what that is. Viewers enjoyed seeing this kid doing crazy stunts and Dave getting a chuckle out of it. I don’t think that is too inside or self-serving. 

As the video plays in slow motion, Paul and the band perform “Also sprach Zarathustra” (the theme to 2001: A Space Odyssey), timing it to kick in as Todd flies over the table. Dave cheers and screams, “Come on!” in his sports broadcasting voice, which makes the event even more exciting. When Dave gets excited, we get excited. This is such a Letterman moment: exciting, different, relatable, ultimately pointless, and stupidly wonderful. He proceeds to the Top Ten “Things Overheard in Hillary Clinton’s Van.”

The first guest is Billy Crystal, who receives a standing ovation. He and Dave chat about Billy’s grandchildren. Crystal takes a different approach from Sarah Jessica Parker. Crystal has prepared great stories and catchphrase-filled material designed to make Dave laugh. Since Billy and Dave are contemporaries, the tactic is more suited to their relationship. He imitates his next-door neighbor, who keeps coming up to his security camera to ask him pointless questions. He runs up to the cameras and puts his face as close as he can. You can hear Dave laughing and clapping along. 

Billy says, “Dave, you’re my best friend on television, and what I can’t put into words I’d like to put into a song.” He moves center stage and performs a comic song set to the tune of “Sunrise, Sunset” from Fiddler on the Roof. Crystal co-wrote the song with composer Marc Shaiman (Hairspray, Sleepless in Seattle); the two had earlier collaborated on Billy’s musical monologues (Can we start calling these songologues?) during the Academy Awards telecasts. The song is filled with references to great moments in Dave’s career. Billy performs the song in front of two green screens, which display clips from the show as he sings about Drew Barrymore, Richard Simmons, Madonna, and more. Paul and the band accompany Shaiman, who plays the piano. It hits the right tones, the right jokes, and is a fun tribute to Dave. 

Randi Grossack (Associate Director): We would get the script to know what clips we needed. Then we would have to pull them and have them cut to the right length and moment. Then, at rehearsal, you are rolling the clips and making sure they time out. I would be involved in pulling the clips and putting them together. We would see if we got the right clip and then maybe pull one that might work better. It is up to Jerry Foley to run them at the right time as the song is going on.

Mike Buczkiewicz: (Segment Producer/Senior Producer): The great thing about Billy Crystal and Marc Shaiman was they reached out to the show a full two weeks beforehand. They had a fully formed idea and were ready to go. He said, “We worked up this full song.” It was amazing. Billy was open to ideas. He came in and rehearsed it a couple of times. He wanted to walk through a couple of beats. I think Marc had six other things going on at the same time, but was still willing to drop everything to come in because Billy wanted to tweak something. It was a rare treat to be able to work with both those guys and then see the final product.

The Late Show baseball card shows a very young Billy Crystal, from August 2, 1982.

The second guest is Julie Chen, from the CBS shows The Talk and Big Brother. She oddly doesn’t mention that Dave is leaving the network. She talks about The Beatles, parenting, and The Talk. As they go to commercial, Paul plays The Beatles’ “I Saw Her Standing There,” demonstrating that he is always listening to the conversation.

Musical Guest

The musical guest is country star Chris Stapleton, making his network television debut with a performance of “Traveller.” The show may be ending, but it is still debuting new artists.

Sheryl Zelikson (Music Booker): Chris Stapleton has a certain presence about him. If you are flipping through the channels and see him, you are curious just based on his physicality. He’s talented, an outlaw, and he’s a maverick in what was considered popular and the norm for country music. I thought it was a really special artist and a good representation of what Dave was throughout his career in championing artists like that.

Worldwide Pants Tag: “Press those pants.”