“From a point just beyond the horizon...”

It is Episode 6,020

May 8, 2015

“And now . . . this year’s grand marshal of the Jerk Parade     . . . David Letterman.” The Tina Fey line resonated enough that they appropriated her “jerk parade” for the next show. All Friday shows were taped ninety minutes after filming the Thursday episode, so the “jerk parade” is fresh in everyone’s mind. Dave begins this show with a New York City rat joke. He tries to do a joke about Fifty Shades of Grey, but stumbles over the wording. Paul interjects, “There are only nine episodes left.” Dave then realizes he has the setup completely wrong. Bill Scheft calls out from the side, “The nurses are stealing my shoes.” After they play a clip comparing Dave as the Lone Ranger to Christian Grey, the bit doesn’t go over very well. Dave says, “That’s like driving all day, you get to the Dairy Queen, and it’s closed.” But these are the moments that fans love: a bit that goes off the rails and the interactions between Dave and his staff—that is what Letterman fans tune in for.

Act 2 features Top Ten Things “You Don’t Want to Hear During Mother’s Day Brunch.” Since Mother’s Day is the upcoming Sunday, the best-of montage is a tribute to Dave’s mom, Dorothy Letterman. The montage shows her with John Mellencamp, Top Ten appearances, at the Olympics with Hillary Clinton, cooking segments, and the Thanksgiving-pie guessing segments. This was my personal favorite bit Dave and his mom did. She would bake pies for Thanksgiving and then he would guess which pies she made over a live satellite feed to her home in Indiana. Thanksgiving just isn’t the same without it. (Don’t get me started on how Christmas isn’t the same without Darlene Love and Jay Thomas.) 

Lee Ellenberg: I loved when Dave would say to his Mom, “You didn’t make any of those trick pies did you?” It is such a Dave thing, the notion that there were trick pies. It makes me laugh. During the last few weeks, Barbara would send us an email saying, “How about a clip package for this person or that person?” Then Randi Grossack would get us the footage and we would get to work with the editors. Dan Baggio and Andrew Evangelista were great editors. They cut a lot of that stuff with us. 

Barbara Gaines: Dave was the one who decided to make his mother a character. Dave and his mom were two different people. She was so quiet and proper. I would not use “quiet and proper” to describe Dave. 

Lee Ellenberg: It wasn’t that difficult of a montage to put together. She had appeared on the show less than people like Paul or Rupert, so we knew what most of it was gonna be—the Olympics, when she interviewed Donald Rumsfeld, her in England, throwing the inbound pass during a Pacers game. That was almost easier because you knew what the footage was gonna be.

The first guest is Ray Romano. He walks on with the weight of the world on his shoulders. The entire interview is emotional, starting even before Romano takes his seat. He is sporting a beard and prophetically tells Dave that soon he will grow one as well. Dave says he is looking forward to it. Dave thanks him for hosting the prime-time show earlier in the week. Romano tells a comical story about his son running out of gas on the freeway. This story is masterfully told, with the skill of a comedian who knows how to excel at the desk with Dave. Dave laughs at each bit. Having completed the comedy portion, Romano moves to the sentimental, emotional segment of the appearance.

Romano says, “I’m a little emotional since this is my last night here. I don’t think most of the audience knows what this show has meant to me. Twenty years ago was my first spot. I did stand-up right there [points to the center of the stage]. I was doing stand-up for eleven years. I had three little kids, struggling. I came here, did a spot. The following week Worldwide Pants, Dave Letterman, your people, call me up. They say, ‘Dave likes what he saw. He wants to develop a sitcom for you,’ and that sitcom became Everybody Loves Raymond.” The audience gives an extended applause. “The credit is all yours, my friend,” Dave responds.

Jerry Foley: As Ray was establishing himself in stand-up, he got what is the modern-day equivalent of being on the Johnny Carson show. He got a spot on Letterman. As a result of that stand-up performance, Dave signed Ray to a development deal. As you see in that interview, what Ray is trying to get across is, from that stand-up performance came everything.

Romano continues, “You’re like me. You don’t think anything you do is worth anything. I want to prove to you how wrong you are. I want to show you what my world became because you existed.” Ray Romano picks up a stack of pictures and goes through step by step how David Letterman changed his life. He starts by showing his family in 1995, when he had three kids. He goes through how Everybody Loves Raymond allowed him to have the money to have another child, get another dog, and kiss Patricia Heaton (his wife on the show), and Lauren Graham on Parenthood, and how his agent could have more kids, and so on. To Romano, all of these good things happened because of Letterman.

Dave doesn’t want to accept these things. He says, “It’s very nice to hear you say those things, but everybody loves Raymond. You are Raymond and that’s why there was a show.” Romano says, “The biggest night of my life was here.” He goes on to say that he got emotional watching John Mayer sing “American Pie.” “I just saw him at that spot where my life changed and my family’s life [his voice starts cracking because of the emotion] . . . because of the lyrics. ‘The day the music died.’ For me that is what is happening here. For me on May 20th, that is the day the comedy dies, as far as I’m concerned.” Dave invites Ray to walk over to the stand-up center spot one more time. Ray walks over and stands there. Paul and the band play “American Pie.” Emotion overtakes Ray Romano. Dave hugs him. Ray says, “I lost money on the hug.” They fade to his baseball card showing the first appearance, from March 23, 1995.

Brian Teta: Ray is someone who clearly owes Dave his career. Dave doesn’t want to hear it and take credit because Ray is so funny. Ray would have been a star no matter what. I was glad that Ray was able to do this—have Dave sit there and take it. 

Jerry Foley: Ray is a decent enough guy who honors that and remembers it and can’t ever let Dave forget that his success was a direct result of doing stand-up on the Late Show. Ray had a lot of appreciation for his professional life being connected to Dave and Worldwide Pants. Ray was a friend of the show and had been on many times over the years. He had a lot of guest segments. There was a personal connection as well.

Bill Scheft: That is not easy for Ray. Doing that show was really important to him, and it didn’t have to be. He had made it by then. Some shot on Letterman after he has Everybody Loves Raymond isn’t gonna help or hurt him, but it was really important to him. He wanted to be out there longer, and he would check his watch at how long his segments were. He was obsessed with that.

Jeremy Weiner: The thing I loved about Ray is that he timed his segments. He wanted to know how long each of his appearances would be. He was always so thrilled to be on the show. 

Sheila Rogers: Ray was another favorite guest. People who came on to talk to Dave and were not there to promote themselves or sell something were the best interviews. That was the majority of the guests during the end.

Dave introduces Brian Regan, who has been on the show twenty-five times. Before starting his set he says, “This is that magic spot. It’s an honor to be here. Thanks, Dave.”

Musical Guest

Dave introduces the Dave Matthews Band with, “This is a great night. Twenty years ago, they made their TV debut. They are back here. They will be performing the song they debuted on network television twenty years ago, ‘What Would You Say.’”

Bill Scheft: Dave Matthews Band then did a webcast in the theater in the continuing quest of CBS to make sure there isn’t a dollar left on the table they haven’t grabbed. Let me just say this about the Dave Matthews Band: their drummer, Carter Beauford, is one of three guys I’ve seen Anton Fig stand to watch when they play. 

Sheryl Zelikson: We started the series called Live on Letterman I believe in 2003 with Pearl Jam. And as usual Letterman was ahead of the curve. We live-streamed it on the web, and then they were on CBS radio. It was very powerful to help sell albums. We did seventy of them, and they were very successful. I think that was the last one, and again it was full circle of Dave Matthews, who I believe debuted with the show. And Dave is a big Dave Matthews fan. They performed on the roof of our theater, and performed for us multiple times.

Worldwide Pants Tag: “Drive me home, Helen.”