“From a regional distribution center...”

It is Episode 6,023

May 13, 2015

“And now . . . jumper cables for your humdrum life . . . David Letterman.” Dave begins by saying “Tonight, Julia Roberts. Next week I’ll be lucky to get a table at IHOP.” They also do a bit where the workers in the control room, Alan Kalter, and Todd the Cue Card Boy all fall asleep during the monologue. The desk piece is Top Ten “Things Overheard at the Olive Garden Test Kitchen.” Dave also gives out a Letterman jacket to a man in the audience.

The first guest is Julia Roberts. Paul plays The Beatles song “Julia,” as he always does when she walks out. Roberts is wearing an older Letterman jacket. They cut to the guy in the audience who was just given a newer version of the same coat. Dave greats Roberts midstage and kisses her hand. Julia wants everyone to know that she was wearing her jacket before Dave gave away one to the audience member. She was cold backstage and says she took the jacket from “sweet Jenny” backstage.

Brian Teta: Julia was freezing backstage. She took one of the staffs’ coats because she was so cold. I ran into the hallway and grabbed whoever was standing there. I think it was one of the talent coordinators, Jenny Chapin. “I need your coat, Julia’s cold.” It was a Late Show black-and-white jacket. She loved it. She decided to wear it on stage. So Jenny backstage is like, “I can’t believe Julia Robert is on TV wearing my coat.” Julia ended up taking it home, I think. But we got Jenny a new one.

“I have come here tonight to just find out what the hell is going on here. Someone says we are closing shop around here. I turn my back for a minute. I don’t know. It’s bullshit, David Letterman.” That is how Julia Roberts begins her twenty-sixth appearance. The relationship between Roberts and Dave was always a mixture of playfulness, flirtation, and genuine respect. Watching Julia Roberts be upset that she is losing her “TV friend” helps viewers deal with their impending loss as well.

They discuss her first appearance on November 3, 1989, which was to promote Mystic Pizza. She says, “As a fan of the show, I didn’t want to come on, because I had seen you absolutely dismember young actresses of my kind of peer group.” Embarrassed by this, Dave asks, “What do you suppose was wrong with me?” Roberts sums up his thirty-three years in one succinct sentence, showing she truly is a fan of Letterman. “I think stupid people annoy you.”

A compilation video of Roberts and Letterman is played, showing all of the times they flirted and kissed over the years. When the video is over, Dave walks her to center stage and plants one final kiss on her. The audience swoons and the band plays. Dave starts to go to a commercial, but Roberts isn’t having it. She says, “Wait, wait, wait, I just want to say, David Letterman, I love you and I thank you for all the joy and laughs and the intelligence you have brought to us for thirty-three years.” They hug and Dave says, “I love you.”

Brian Teta: As a fan of the Late Show it is a tremendous amount of pressure to produce a Julia Roberts segment. I had worked with her a bunch of times. Those appearances were so special. She didn’t do a lot of talk shows. The rapport they had was real. Because she is Julia Roberts you want to keep her out there as long as possible, so you have to have enough content to keep it going. I thought the best way to handle that segment was to look back on that rapport. So we did a mash-up of all the times they kissed. I was of course hoping that it would lead to another one.

Barbara Gaines: Julia Roberts, who only got ten minutes instead of her usual twenty, felt like, “That is it?” But these are not your regular shows. These are the-keep-it-moving-to-say-goodbye shows.

Jerry Foley: Julia Roberts fits the description of friend of the show, somebody who had a relationship with the show and Dave. Julia Roberts wasn’t always “Julia Roberts.” She comes off Mystic Pizza and is doing a big talk show. Among the options is this imposing, ironic, sarcastic David Letterman. That was intimidating for a lot of young actresses. But then like any great challenge in life, if you survive it, there is a certain desire to do it again. That relationship evolved and grew over the years. So to have her cap all that off center stage was pretty magical. 

Brian Teta: I was hoping he would kiss her, but it wasn’t a scripted thing. I maybe planted the bug and said, “If you wanted to, you could kiss again afterward.” The walking to center stage was Dave in the moment. It was one of those things he had to feel if it was gonna work or not. They really are friends. 

Bill Scheft: It took me until her twenty-sixth and last appearance to realize that the band always plays her on to “Julia,” the oft-forgotten John Lennon ode to his mother. 

Rick Scheckman: Julia Roberts is always good. The show with Julia Roberts where Paul said, “Hey are you getting laid much?”—that was not scripted. That was just Dave asking Paul if he wanted to ask Julia Roberts a question, and Paul just went with it. It wasn’t planned. 

Randi Grossack: Paul is very funny. He would say things that would make you do a spit take. He would say things out of nowhere that would crack you up. None of that was scripted. The scripted stuff is never as good when the two of them just started to talk.

Speaking of, the second guest is none other than Paul Shaffer. Dave introduces him with, “I have had the pleasure of working with our next guest for thirty-three years. He is a Grammy Award winner, he is our music director, and most importantly our good friend.” The band plays Paul’s song, “It’s Raining Men.” The audience gives him a standing ovation as he slips out from behind the keyboard, crosses the stage and takes the seat next to Dave. “We should have done this more often over the years,” Dave says. 

Paul thanks each member of “the best band in the land”: Aaron Heick, Frank David Greene, Tom Malone, Felicia Collins, Sid McGinnis, Anton Fig, and Will Lee. Paul then introduces a music video that Jerry Foley directed. Dave had asked Paul if there was anything else he wanted to do. Paul wanted to make a music video to the song “On Broadway.” Paul felt this song represented what it meant to come from Canada and wind up with his name in lights on a Broadway marquee.

Sheila Rogers: Paul being a sit-down guest was something Dave wanted. It came from Dave and was a good idea. Paul was a great guest. 

Mike Buczkiewicz: If you ever read the last book he put out it is just jaw-droppingly funny [We’ll Be Here for the Rest of Our Lives: A Swingin’ Show-biz Saga]. You never worried about Paul being in the guest chair. 

Eddie Valk: Paul has a lot going on all the time. He would come in from musical rehearsal and they would show him what acts needed music. He would then work out in about an hour all of the music that needs to be played on the show.

Sheryl Zelikson: Paul and the Late Show band were really some of the best musicians. They learned everything on the fly by ear. I’ve never seen anything like that. I remember the day I saw Paul pull out an accordion, and I thought, “Where did that come from?” The level of Paul’s musicianship was one of the greatest I’ve ever seen. He’s a band leader, and that’s great in itself, outside of just being a musician.

Jay Johnson: Paul is great. He is a musical wizard, one of the most amazing musicians I’ll ever know. He can do anything, play anything. I love what he brought to the show through his banter with Dave. Any talk show host will be lucky to have a guy like Paul Shaffer as their sidekick. 

Musical Guest

Upon returning from the commercial break, Dave sums up what has been proved over and over throughout the final six weeks: “It is obvious,” Dave says, “the music on this show is the glue, the mortar, the foundation of this program for thirty-three years, and it continues tonight.” He then introduces Ryan Adams, who performs “Starting to Hurt.” Ryan’s Late Show debut was October 4, 2001.

Sheryl Zelikson: Sheila Rogers would’ve booked Ryan Adams. I remember seeing him as a solo artist for the first time and just being blown away. He is still one of those artists that gets me. I saw him recently at the Apollo and I was like, “Wow!” He’s got personality. If you’ve ever gone to one of his shows, it’s like Ryan Adams and Shecky Greene. He’s just funny. 

Worldwide Pants Tag: “Nice pants, sister.”