“Now look over my left shoulder and try to hold still,” the doctor says while shining a light in my wife's eye.
I’m seated in the corner of the room watching her check over my wife. Dr. Lula Eckhart graduated at the top of her class and residency at Johns Hopkins just under a year ago. There are hundreds of articles detailing why she’s one of the best neurologists in the country and I knew she was the one I wanted here to take care of Collins. It didn’t hurt that she didn’t have any children or family tying her to Chicago, and it was easy enough to convince her to come to the island and care for my bride.
“Any dizzy spells, blurred vision, loss of concentration?” Dr. Lula asks.
“Other than not knowing my name or where I am?” my wife jokes, and the doctor’s eyes soften.
“The mind is still such a complicated thing that unfortunately we don’t know everything about it. But like we talked about, it’s better that it comes back to you naturally than trying to force it.”
“I remembered something last night,” she offers, and her cheeks heat when she looks at me.
“My nickname,” I say, keeping my eyes on Collins.
Last night I stayed on top of the covers but still managed to wrap myself around her all night. I slept for a little while, and in that time it was peaceful. But when I woke up and she was on top of me, it was more than I could bear. I made an excuse about seeing the doctor first thing and got us both out of bed before something more could happen.
“That’s great,” Dr. Lula encourages. “Just take your time and do things together. The more you talk and share, the more your mind will have a chance to heal.” She squeezes Collins’s shoulder and smiles. “But it will come back.”
“Thank you, doctor.” I push up from my chair and hold out my hand for my wife. She takes it before she slides off the table and we exit the infirmary.
“Do I finally get that tour of the island now?” she asks, leaning into my side.
“Yes, and then we’ll get some breakfast.” I kiss the top of her head and close my eyes, trying to absorb every ounce of her I can. It’s not enough, but I have to be patient.
Just as we make our way to a row of golf carts, I spot X standing nearby with a scowl on his face.
“You go ahead and pick which one you want to ride in. I need to talk to my brother.” I kiss her hand before I let it go, and she smiles at me and walks over to the carts.
When I get to where X is standing, he looks over at me like he’s surprised I’m here. Did he not just watch me walk out of the building?
“What’s wrong with you?” I say, looking him up and down and seeing he’s visibly upset.
“A woman doctor? Really, Kade?” He clenches his fists then crosses and uncrosses his arms like he’s not comfortable in his skin. “We said no women, only wives. You’re ruining everything we’ve built.”
“She wasn’t brought here to party with, she’s my wife's doctor.” I move in close to him, my own anger surging. Maybe we didn’t settle things on the plane like I thought. “And you’ll stay the fuck away from her.”
“Or what?” He raises his chin.
“You really want to go toe to toe, let’s do this. But if you so much as make that doctor second guess the reason she’s here or impede her caring for my wife, so help me God, I’ll end you.”
His face blanches for a moment before he narrows his eyes. “So that’s how it is now?”
“That’s exactly how it is.” I take a step closer to him, so our chests almost touch. “The only thing I care about right now is making sure my wife remembers who I am and that she loves me. That woman in there—” I point to the door I just walked out of. “She’s the one who is going to make that happen, and I won’t let you or anyone else stand in the way.”
There’s a tense silence between us and it’s broken when I hear Collins’s soft voice call for me. She can’t see the two of us on the other side of the bushes, so I take a step back and wave to her.
“Be right there,” I tell her and she smiles at me from behind the wheel of the golf cart.
“You’re not telling me the whole story,” Xander says softly, and it sounds like a betrayal.
“I know,” I admit as my anger deflates. “But she has the right to know first.”
He looks away from me and shakes his head. “I don’t understand what’s happening.”
“You will.” I reach out and grab his arm and he turns to look at me. “I swear to you, brother, I will explain everything. Just trust me.”
He looks at the infirmary and then back to me and gives me a short nod. “I will for now. But as soon as she’s better, I want that doctor out of here. Am I clear?”
“I’ll pack her bags myself,” I agree.
I leave X standing there staring at the infirmary as I go over to my wife and pull her out of the cart before sitting down and replacing her on my lap.
“Hey, I wanted to drive,” she pouts, and I smile.
“You wanted a tour, but you don’t know where anything is,” I say, backing out of the parking spot.
“True,” she agrees as she cuddles into me. “Okay, so this is the hospital part?” She points back to the infirmary.
“Yes, so this part of the island has an infirmary for basic medical needs, but there’s also a surgical wing for emergencies that can’t wait.” Groves of mango trees line the path as I drive along the edge of the ocean. “This side also has the private landing strip where we came in last night, and most of the housing for the staff that lives here full time.”
“How many people live here full time?”
“Almost two hundred.” When her eyes widen, I smile at her. “We allow anyone who works here to bring as much of their family with them as they want. We even have a small school right there.” I point to the hut with little children sitting on the porch looking at the teacher in front of them.
“That’s so sweet,” she says, waving to them.
We drive down the road along the sea and the smell of the salt air and jasmine fills my lungs. I’ve never felt more at home than I do right now with her here.
“This is the family house,” I say when I park in front of the most central home. “It’s designed for all three of us to use it together when we have children.”
“Is that something we want?” she asks, looking up at me.
I search her eyes and they’re hopeful, so I smile down at her. “Oh yes.”
“Good,” she agrees and cuddles next to me as we walk into the family home. “Where do your brothers stay? I know we have our own house, do they?”
“Yes, we each designed our own homes in different areas of the island. Vaughn is by the water with a view of the sunsets, and X is on the highest point so he can see everything down below.”
“And we’re somewhere in the middle?” She cocks her head to the side as if trying to think about where we came from this morning.
“Ours is the most private.” I lean down, and though all I want to do is kiss her, I settle for brushing my lips against her cheek. “It’s also next to the waterfall.”
“Can we go see that after breakfast?” Her eyes are filled with excitement and I nod.
“We can do anything you want to.”
When we walk inside I see Vaughn in the kitchen at the stove. He loves to cook, and for as laidback as he is, he’s usually the first one up.
“Good morning, love birds,” he says, and I feel Collins’s arm wrap around my back. “I’ve made muffins and bacon. Do you want eggs to go with it?”
Collins’s stomach rumbles and then she giggles. “Yes, please.”
“Make that two,” I say. I hold out the stool at the bar for her and then take my own.
Vaughn sets down a plate in front of Collins and she smiles at me and takes a bite of her muffin. Just as her teeth sink into it, her eyes widen in shock.
“I’m allergic to blueberries,” she says as she sits the muffin down and looks at it.
“What?” I stand up as I feel panic rising.
“No, no, it’s okay. I just get a bad rash, but I didn’t eat it. I just remembered.” She shakes her head and looks up at me. “How did you not know that?”
“I-I…” My words are stuck in my throat as she gasps.
“My sister always checked for me,” she whispers, almost to herself, then shakes her head. “My sister? Oh God, Kade I need to talk to Berkley. She’s in London right now, oh my God, I have a sister. I remember my sister.”
I wait for more memories to kick in, ones of me and the accident, but after a few silent moments she shakes her head.
“I don’t know how to get in touch with her. I don’t know anything else. God, why is this so hard?” Tears fill her eyes and I pull her into my chest.
“Shhh. It’s okay, love. Just calm down.” I look up to see Vaughn watching her, and when his eyes come to mine there are questions there. Ones I’m not prepared to answer. “Find her,” I say to him, and he nods before he pushes away from the counter.
“You didn’t know I had a sister?” She looks up at me with tears streaming down her face, and I wipe them away.
“No, I didn’t. But I’ll bring her here and maybe that will help.” I glide my thumbs across her cheeks to try and soothe her. But I can’t see her hurting like this.
Leaning forward, I gently touch my lips to hers and do the only thing I can right now to comfort her. She’s so soft and sweet as she opens for me and I feel her breath against my lips. I taste her, and when I feel her tongue touch mine, I groan at the connection. It’s slow, but there is a current of need so powerful simmering below it that I can feel my hands shaking as I kiss her. I want to devour her entire body right here on the kitchen counter, but instead I hold myself back and try to be gentle.
I take my time and make sure that she is so thoroughly kissed that any fear or worry she may have is long gone. I want her to remember me and how much she loves me. But I don’t want the pain.
I just don’t know how to keep that from her.