Top Ten: The Best of the Worst

Maybe you think I was overreacting. Or being crazy. Or both. But that just tells me you never read my first book. Because if you did, then you’d know that the worst years of my life all started right there at bad old Hills Village Middle School.

You might remember the crazy amount of rules that place had. You might also remember my plan to break all of them. After a bit of that, I sort of got kicked out.

I had a million reasons why I didn’t want to go back to that place, but I won’t bore you with all of them. Just the top ten. So here you go—

#10: NOT ALL MIDDLE SCHOOLS ARE CREATED EQUAL. If I had to be in middle school, at least Airbrook was going to help turn me into a real artist. The last time I was at HVMS, it helped turn me into a real criminal (and a big-time disappointment to my mom).

#9: VICE PRINCIPAL IDA P. STRICKER. Mrs. Stricker is in charge of discipline, misery, and suffering at Hills Village Middle School. And let’s just say that she’s very good at her job.

#8: JEANNE GALLETTA. Okay, don’t get me wrong. At this point I was pretty much in love with Jeanne. But if you’ve ever been in love and happen to be as completely lame as me, then you know that the only thing worse than never seeing that person is seeing them all the time, when you have all kinds of chances to make yourself look about as smooth as a bowl of gravel.

#7: MATH… SCIENCE… ENGLISH… SOCIAL STUDIES. Do I even need to explain this one? Classes haven’t exactly been my strong suit.

#6: RULES, RULES, RULES, RULES! Hills Village Middle School has more rules than anywhere I’ve been. (I think Mrs. Stricker has something to do with that.) When I was at HVMS before, I broke a couple (like maybe eighty-six of them…) and ended up getting expelled.

#5, 4, 3, 2, and 1: MILLER THE KILLER. Let’s just put it this way: The last time I came face-to-face with Miller, there was blood involved. If you’re following the story so far, you can probably guess it wasn’t his.