Brave… ish

So, the movies were a disaster.

It turns out, once you decide you basically love someone, it gets a lot harder to act like a normal human being and make words come out of your mouth when they’re around. It doesn’t seem fair, but I guess a lot of stuff in my life hasn’t exactly seemed fair.

And besides, Georgia wasn’t totally wrong. If I wanted to impress Jeanne at all, I needed to get over myself and actually talk to her once in a while.

So on the night before I left, I picked up the phone and called Jeanne to say good-bye. Hey, if I could face a week in the wilderness with a bunch of strangers, I could make it through one stupid phone call, right?

(Yeah… I thought so too.)

It started out okay enough. At least I didn’t hang up when I heard Jeanne’s voice at the other end of the line.

“Hello?” she said. “Galletta residence, Jeanne speaking.”

“Hi, it’s Rafe,” I said.

So far, so good.

“Hi, Rafe, what’s up?”

“Well,” I said, “I just… um… I didn’t get a chance to tell you at the movies the other day, but I’m coming back to HVMS this fall.”

“Yeah, I know,” she said.

“You do?”

“Yeah, Georgia told me.”

“She did?” I said. And then I was wondering what else Georgia had said.

Meanwhile, my brain was racing about a thousand miles a minute, while my mouth was stalled out at the side of the road. I couldn’t figure out what to say next—until I remembered (DUH!!) why I’d called Jeanne in the first place.

“So anyway,” I said, “I’m going on this trip before school starts. No big deal, just a week in the Rocky Mountains. A little hiking, a little rock climbing, some highly dangerous white-water rafting—that kind of thing.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah,” I said.

And then there was this… big… long… silence. I kind of thought she’d have more to say about it than just Oh, really? But she didn’t seem too impressed. With my luck, Jared McJockstrap had just gotten back from a thousand-mile swim up the Amazon River to deliver fresh food to hungry animals and give a live concert to the people of South America.

I probably should have waited until I got back and worried about impressing Jeanne later. But noooo, I just had to pick up the stupid phone and—

“Hello?” Jeanne said. “Rafe? Are you still there?”

“So… uh… yeah… okay… anyway,” I mumbled.

Now what was I supposed to do? I’d run out of material. I didn’t think I could wing something without looking like even more of a doofus. I didn’t know if I should keep going, or if we were done, or what.

So of course, I did the stupidest thing possible. I didn’t say anything at all. I hung up.

That’s right. I just… hung up. On the girl I was in love with.

Seriously, when it comes to being bad at this stuff, I am the absolute best there is. No contest.

If I ever figure any of it out, I’ll let you know. In fact, I’ll have a party and invite you. In the meantime, you’re probably getting a good idea about why I call my comic Loozer Loses Again. Because I always do.

I mean—he always does. Again, and again, and again.

And again.