Kerflooey, Part Two-ey
So there I was, climbing and not looking down, climbing and not looking down, climbing and not looking down. It seemed like it was going okay, right up until—
“KHATCHADORIAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”
Sergeant Fish was yelling at me.
“You’re getting in your partner’s way!” Fish said. “Watch out for Carmen!”
When I looked over (not down), she was right in my face, reaching for the same piece of rock.
Oops. I’d been focusing so much on UP, I kind of forgot to notice anything else.
“Move over,” Carmen said.
“You’re in my way,” she said.
Our ropes were starting to get tangled up. I could hear someone laughing too. And Fish was still screaming.
“LET’S GO! DON’T FREEZE UP ON ME! KEEP THOSE LINES CLEAN! FOCUS ON THE WALL! SPOT YOUR NEXT HOLD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, KHATCHADORIAN?”
It was getting harder and harder to focus. In fact, I could barely think at all—and that’s when I lost track of the whole don’t-look-down strategy thing.
One little peek was all it took. As soon as I saw everyone else, way down there on the ground below us, that was it. I went straight to crazy town.
It all happened just like the last time. First everything around me kind of went away.
My heart started racing like NASCAR.
My face felt about a million degrees hot.
And I heard that rushing sound in my ears.
It was Carmen. She was still right there—waiting for me to get out of her way. I’d totally forgotten.
“Huh?” I said.
“You know what my brother does when he wants to get my butt in gear?” she said.
“I… don’t… really… feel like… guessing games… right now!” I said.
“That’s okay,” Carmen said. Then out of nowhere, she reached over and pinched me. Hard. It felt like a pair of pliers in my side.
“OUCH!” I yelled. “What do you think you’re—?”
“Move,” she said.
“I can’t!” I said. I wanted to, but I couldn’t. As far as I could tell, I was going to be finishing middle school right there, because I wasn’t going anywhere. Maybe ever.
“Don’t be a wuss,” Carmen said. And then she pinched me again—in the exact same spot, but harder.
“STOP IT!!” I yelled at her.
“Make me,” she said. And then she did it again. This time, that pinch felt more like a piranha taking a bite out of my side.
And it was Ticking. Me. Off!
Which I guess was the whole point. I started climbing just to get away from her. I don’t really know how—I just moved. I was climbing again, straight up, and not stopping, and definitely, definitely, NOT looking down this time. I’d learned that lesson, and I didn’t think my side could take another pinch.
Carmen was crazy, that’s for sure. Carmen was dangerous too. And mean. I’d say that ninety-nine percent of the time, Carmen was just looking out for Carmen.
But guess what else? I think I’d just met the other one percent.
And that part was some kind of crazy-dangerous evil genius.