We’re home the morning after spending the Fourth with the group guys at a cabin deep in the Organ Mountains. They go up there every year so they can celebrate the holiday as far away from fireworks as they can get. Turns out the popping and whistling sounds are problematic for some vets. Manny would be one of those vets.
When Xochitl and Manny get to work, we sneak into Ed’s office. Wendy hands me her thumb drive.
I had told her she had to hear Xochitl’s song, and finally, today is our chance.
The laptop is closed this time. The microphone is put away. And the guitar is in its case.
I flip the screen up. There’s an e-mail staring me in my face.
I cannot not read it.
July 3, 2009
Kristi,
Yeah, I’m sure.
Of course I want to go. But I have to stay down here until I know my brother is all right. I hope you find the right singer and I hope you have a kick-ass tour!
Love and Hugs to all Rays,
X
I don’t want Wendy to know that I’m reading Xochitl’s e-mail. So I block the screen and scroll down quick.
July 2, 2009
You sure? Anything we can do to talk you into this? We need our X-factor on tour! ☺
-K
I’ve got to know what came before these mails but reading more of Xochitl’s private correspondence will have to wait.
Stealing her private song files, however, cannot wait.
* * *
Out in the shack, we download the files onto Wendy’s laptop and we listen to that Sally song. Then we listen to all of them. Songs about Manny coming home and more songs from our road trip. They’re deep. Slow. Gut-wrenching. Desperate. Beautiful.
There’s so much about what’s happened that I couldn’t describe it to anyone if I tried.
But Xochitl did it in these songs.
Wendy says, “You told me Xochitl was in bands, but I didn’t know she had a voice like that. And her songs are incredible.”
“My sister is the legit real deal.”
Wendy says there was a long stretch when Xochitl didn’t come into their room until really late. Like after Wendy was already sleeping. The songs explain what she was doing at night and what she had been doing during lunch.
She says that after Manny went to the hospital, Xochitl started going to bed early.
I beg Wendy not to tell Xochitl what we did. If my sister wanted us to know about these songs, she would have told us about them.
Without saying a word, Wendy presses play. And we listen to them all again.
* * *
At night, when I know Manny’s asleep, I sneak downstairs, back to the office.
The e-mail thread is still there.
I scroll down.
July 2, 2009
Dear Ms. McConnell,
I’m sorry to say there’s been a change in plans. I was so humbled that the Ray crew wanted me to open for them and pumped for the opportunity to be on the tour. But now I’ve got serious family stuff I have to deal with so I can’t make any commitments for a few months, at least. I’m so sorry. Please think of me in the future.
Thanks and keep in touch,
Xochitl Avila
What the hell?
I scroll down.
June 18, 2009
Dear Ms. McConnell,
Count me in! Getting new songs together now. I’ll be sending you a demo in a couple weeks. Thank you so much.
Sincerely,
Xochitl Avila
June 18, 2009
Hi Xochitl,
I’m the producer/promoter for Ray Is a Girl’s international fall tour. I know Kristi has talked to you about opening for them. Normally, we have another of our own artists open, but the Ray crew is pretty stuck on the idea of you opening. We’re looking for a solo singer-songwriter, someone who could sit in with the band on backing vocals for a few songs. If that sounds like something you’re into, send me some of your stuff so I can run it by folks here at SubPop.
Just so you know, we’ll have a couple weeks of rehearsal in Seattle in early September. We’ll start off with some Midwest/East Coast college shows for a couple months. Then we head to Europe, then back to the East Coast for some shows at bigger venues. We’ll work our way west, to LA, SF, and Portland, and finish up in Seattle at the Moore Theatre in spring.
We’ll give your demo a listen, and if we agree with the band, I’ll send a contract with itinerary and all details.
All the best,
Laura McConnell
SubPop Records
* * *
I can’t sleep. My mind is stuck on the fact that Xochitl got the word from SubPop right when we got here. And she worked her ass off to make those songs. But she never said anything. She didn’t want to get our hopes up? Or was there part of her that knew it might not work out?
Then Manny tried to do it, so she shut the whole thing down and got her mind set on taking care of her brother.
It kills me that when summer ends, I’ll be on my way home to start senior year.
And Xochitl?
She’ll be hauling chile. Selling the last of the green. Harvesting red in fall. Closing down the farm and the stand for the winter. Driving Manny to see doctors. Looking under Manny’s tongue to make sure he’s taking his meds. Xochitl will be living in dusty little Hatch, New Mexico, thinking, Today Ray Is a Girl is in Amsterdam. Today they’re in Toronto. Today they’re in New York City … and I am not.