Lauren held on to Ethan’s hand and felt her own shaking as she led him to Emerson. She glanced back over her shoulder at Stephanie, who was watching like a protective mama bear.
When they reached Emerson, she found her tough, stoic former brother-in-law staring at Ethan with tears in his eyes.
“Ethan,” Lauren said. “This is a…family friend. Mr. Kincaid.”
Emerson glanced at her, and she nodded. He pulled out a chair and sat so he could talk to Ethan eye to eye. He asked Ethan about school and about what sports he liked to play. Ethan told him soccer.
“We should kick the ball around sometime,” Emerson said, looking to Lauren for the go-ahead.
“That sounds great, doesn’t it, Ethan?”
Ethan nodded, and Emerson held out his hand for a high five, which Ethan delivered before darting off.
“I remember when Rory was that age,” Emerson said. He turned to her with tears in his eyes. “Thank you, Lauren.”
“No problem. I mean, we’re family now, right?”
He nodded, clearly unable to speak. When he collected himself, he said, “What’s going on with that film?”
“The documentary? I don’t know. It’s…the truth will come out, Emerson. As we’ve seen.”
Stephanie made her way to them. Lauren wondered when they’d last seen each other. Not at her wedding, since Stephanie hadn’t been there. It might have been sometime during the summer when Lauren was at Georgetown instead of at the shore. The summer when their fates changed forever.
“Hey,” Stephanie said.
“You have a great boy there,” Emerson said.
“Thanks.” She looked at Lauren and shifted uncomfortably on her feet.
“I’d really like to see him now and then. Have a relationship.”
Stephanie nodded. “I appreciate that. And it will be good for him to have a man in his life. But I need some time. I’m going to tell him about his father. I’m just not sure exactly when. Before the film comes out, obviously.”
“You’re worried about the documentary?” Emerson said.
“That, and the other one.”
“What other one?” Emerson said.
Stephanie told him about Neil Hanes and finding the script in his house.
“I’d like to give that guy a piece of my mind,” Emerson said. “And my fist.”
“Well, it’s your lucky night—he’s here.”
Stephanie pointed to Neil, who was sitting at a corner table refilling a young blonde’s wineglass.
“Ladies, excuse me for a minute.”
They watched Emerson cut across the crowded room.
“I almost feel bad for Neil,” Lauren said.
“I don’t,” said Stephanie. And then: “Lauren, I know I just said I would tell Ethan the truth. I just don’t know how I’m going to find the words. Maybe I’m weak, but it’s just…I don’t know. I can’t do it.”
“You have to.”
“I wish it could just…happen.”
“It’s going to be okay,” Lauren said.
Stephanie reached out and hugged her, and the feeling of being in her big sister’s arms, alien and so familiar at the same time, brought fresh tears to Lauren’s eyes.
“I love you,” Stephanie said.
“I love you too.”
The sign on the door read PRIVATE PARTY. NORA’S CAFÉ OPENS TOMORROW AT 7 A.M. FOR BREAKFAST. THANK YOU. Matt could see from the street that the dining room was packed with people.
He had been halfway through his shitty craft beer in Williamsburg when he remembered the party. It came to him because a group of hipsters piled in with bags of doughnuts from Dough in Bed-Stuy. They made a big show of offering some to the bartender, who set them out on the bar. And Matt thought of Beth Adelman.
It was Henny who had originally invited him to the party, but Lauren had mentioned it in passing with a casual “You should come if you’re still in town.” That had been before it all went to hell, of course.
Driving for two and a half hours after an abrupt good-bye to a confused Craig, Matt tried to figure out what he was going to say when he was face to face with her. He wasn’t entirely sure; all he knew was that he needed to see her.
Inside the restaurant, he made his way through a throng near the front counter. Lauren was difficult to miss in a pale orange sundress, her dark hair long and loose. How had he not noticed how beautiful she was that very first day when he’d met her in this place? He could see it like it was yesterday, the wariness when he tried to chat her up, her disgust when he’d handed her his card. By some miracle, he’d been able to break through all that and not only get what he needed for the film, but also get close to her as a person.
And then he’d wrecked it.
Lauren needed air. She couldn’t walk around making small talk with the party guests after the intense conversations with Emerson and her sister.
She pushed open the door, and it had barely closed behind her when someone said her name. At first she thought she’d imagined it.
“Lauren,” Matt repeated.
“What are you doing here?” She turned around, her face stony while some deep, primitive, and inconvenient part of her fluttered with joy.
“You didn’t respond to any of my texts.”
“Why should I? We’re not friends, Matt. You got what you wanted. Now leave me alone.”
He moved closer, and she felt the pull of her attraction to him.
“I miss you,” he said, and he kissed her. She gave in for a second, then pulled away sharply. They stared at each other, both breathing heavily. I can run twelve miles a day but one kiss from him and I feel like I’m going to pass out.
“Listen to me,” he said. “I know you want me to scrap the film, but that’s not how it works. Sometimes the truth is upsetting. But that doesn’t diminish its value. At the same time, I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You can’t have it both ways.”
“I think I can.”
“What are you saying?”
“I won’t use footage of your nephew in the film. I won’t use Stephanie’s interviews. And I’ll still have the film I came to this island to make.”
Lauren stared at him. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” he said. “I’m certain.”
“That would make a huge difference. To all of us. But you could have told me that over the phone.”
“I had to see you. Because you’re wrong—I didn’t get what I want.”
He reached for her, and she let him hold her, everything else falling away. Her entire being seemed to say yes. The feeling was new and familiar at the same time, and it scared her.
In the past she had run too quickly into her love for another person. She had given up too much to sustain it. And for what? In the end, it had failed. Now a second chance was there, right in front of her. But she knew that if she didn’t fully heal before rushing headlong into it, this, too, would disappear.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m not ready.”
Matt nodded in reluctant acceptance. “Okay,” he said. “I understand. I just hope someday you will be. And when you are…”
“You’ll be the first to know,” she said, fighting back tears, rocked by competing feelings of happiness, sadness, fear, and hope.
The front door of the restaurant opened. Stephanie appeared; if she was surprised to see Matt, she didn’t show it. It was just one of those nights.
“Mom’s bringing out dessert,” Stephanie said.
Lauren turned to Matt. “Have you ever tried a s’mores doughnut?”
“As a matter of fact, I haven’t,” he said, taking her hand. “But I’d love one right about now.”