“Let’s go again. From the top?” Ruby clutched the mic and sighed deeply. This evening wasn’t going to plan so far, and it was doing nothing for her nerves for Saturday. She glanced around the empty bar. It was Thursday, but they were opening an hour late so they had time to rehearse. Ruby had no doubt Norman was outside in his Morris Minor, frowning.
“Do you want to take five?” Eric rested his right elbow on the top of his electric-acoustic guitar, currently hanging from the well-worn brown leather strap around his neck. Eric was a seasoned performer and had been in many bands. This gig wasn’t fazing him one bit.
Ruby shook her head. “No, I have to get this right. I can’t believe I keep fucking up the words to ‘Fairytale Of New York’. It’s a Christmas standard, for fuck’s sake.”
Eric furrowed his brow. “You’re very sweary today and you’re making me a little nervous.”
Perhaps the tendrils of doubt from yesterday’s call with Fran were beginning to seep through. It hadn’t helped seeing photos of Delilah and Fran together today. Ruby’s mum had helpfully pointed them out to Ruby over lunch. Mum had no idea of Fran and Delilah’s history. Or what their present might be. Ruby, however, was fully aware. Fran had sent a vague text earlier telling her she’d be great on Saturday, but was she even coming? What if Delilah wanted to go to dinner again, and Fran chose her?
Ruby blew out a long breath. She’d tried to conjure up the feelings from Monday night, but they seemed far away. The more Ruby thought about her current situation, the glummer she got. It certainly wasn’t helping the rehearsal.
“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be snappy.” She gave Eric a half-smile. Ruby couldn’t quite form a full one. “Ready?”
Eric gave her a less-than-certain nod, and began playing the intro to the song.
Ruby gathered up her strength and began to sing. She got through the first verse, then the chorus, then stumbled over the second verse again. Just like she had done the last three times they’d tried it. Her nerves were shredded. How could she not remember the words? And if she couldn’t remember the words to this song, what about all the others? What if it wasn’t just the Christmas songs, but also her own? She’d seen singers hit the stage with lyric sheets on music stands before, and suddenly, she understood.
Or perhaps it was early onset dementia.
Either way, she was screwed.
She let out a yelp of frustration, then stamped her foot. “Sorry, maybe I do need a break.” Ruby put her mic down on one of the bar tables and walked over to the corner table normally occupied by Norman. She slumped back, splaying her long legs in front of her.
The door between the shop and the bar swung open. Both Ruby and Eric looked up.
Victoria swept in, giving them both a wide smile. When she saw their faces, she stopped mid-grin and put a hand up.
“What’s going on? I swear I just heard the opening bars to ‘Fairytale Of New York’ a few minutes ago. I was expecting high fives and smiling faces. Instead, I walk in to Ruby slumped in a corner, and my husband fiddling with his capo. Not a euphemism.”
Ruby threw up her hands, then rubbed her palms up and down her face. She needed to put thoughts of Fran aside. She and Eric needed this time to rehearse. If the past hour had taught her anything, it was that.
“Everything’s fine.” Ruby sat upright. “I keep forgetting the words to all the Christmas standards. The gig is in two days. The whole fucking town is coming to see me and I can’t sing a song without buggering it up. It’s just peachy.”
Victoria walked over to Ruby, sat beside her and rubbed her thigh. “You’ve forgotten words before. You’ll be fine on the night. If you’re worried, take lyric sheets on with you and tape them to the floor. It’s always good to have back-up.”
Ruby sighed. “That’s not a bad idea.”
“No need to sound so surprised.” She stared at Ruby. “Plus, you can’t forget the words to ‘Fairytale Of New York’. It’s like forgetting the words to ‘Last Christmas’. You are doing ‘Last Christmas’, aren’t you?”
“Of course.”
“Good.” Victoria squeezed Ruby’s knee. “Are you okay otherwise? Everything good in Ruby Town?”
Ruby ducked her head. “Fine.” When she looked up, Victoria was studying her intently.
“What?”
“This is about a girl, isn’t it? Mum said you crawled in early on Tuesday after spending the night out. I can only assume it was with Fran?”
Ruby’s cheeks flared.
“What happened?”
Ruby slumped again. “It’s fine. I mean, it’s not, but it is.”
“You’re not making much sense.” Victoria paused. “Did you sleep with her?”
Ruby hesitated, but knew Victoria would see through the lie.
She nodded.
“I knew it!” She glanced at Eric. “What did I tell you?”
Eric rolled his eyes.
“And what was it like?”
Ruby gave her sister a stern look. “I’m not telling you that!” Ruby glanced at Eric.
Victoria slapped Ruby’s leg. “Eric and I have no secrets. I’ll only fill him in later, so he might as well hear it now.”
Ruby snorted, then relented. “It was great. But now she’s back in London and she might not be able to make it on Saturday because of her work.”
Ruby wasn’t going to mention Delilah.
Victoria made a sad face.
“Plus, she was out for dinner last night with her ex, which isn’t ideal.”
Victoria frowned. “I thought she was out last night with Delilah. At least, that’s what I saw in the papers today.”
Ruby watched as realisation dawned.
“Her ex is Delilah?” Victoria blinked rapidly.
Ruby had vowed not to say anything, but it just slipped out and then Victoria filled in the blanks. Ruby jumped up, waving her arms in a ‘cut!’ motion. “Forget I said that last bit. Forget I said anything. Delilah isn’t out, and this can’t get out. I promised Fran.” Horror thoughts ran through Ruby’s mind. Of all the people to tell, she’d told Victoria?
“Promise me you won’t say anything to anyone? None of your friends or our family? Swear on Eric’s life.” Ruby gave Victoria her sternest face.
“Of course, I can keep a secret!”
Eric snorted. “She can’t, but I’ll make sure she keeps this one.” He gave Ruby a nod. “Don’t worry.”
It was as good as Ruby could hope for.
“Delilah is gay? Well, shit the bed.” Her sister paused. “Fran has a thing for singers, huh?”
“Hopefully just a thing for me, but the photos of her and Delilah gadding about town have done nothing for my ego.”
“I saw those photos, but just assumed they worked together. She seemed pretty into you, didn’t she?”
Ruby nodded. “She did. And she does still work with Delilah, I know that. Plus, I hardly have any claim over her. We slept together once.” But ever since, every day had dragged like it was a year. Ruby wanted to know what Fran was doing, what she was thinking. The distance, albeit temporary, was killing her.
Victoria shook her head. “You and I both know that counts for something.”
Ruby pouted. “We only started being civil to each other two weeks ago. It’s too soon to tell.” Ruby’s words were rational, but her feelings were anything but.
“No wonder you’re forgetting words.” Victoria took Ruby by the shoulders. “Fran had to go back to London, but she will be back and you will work this out — whether she gets back for the concert or not. Even if she doesn’t, you’ve got tons of people who are looking forward to it, so you have to push your fears aside and do it. You’re going to smash this, little sister. You know why?”
Ruby shook her head. “I have no clue.”
“Because you’re a superstar! I knew that when Mum and Dad gave you your first microphone, aged three. I still know it today. I’m sure Fran will try her best to be here, seeing as it was her idea in the first place. She’s invested. But even if she doesn’t, there are still a million reasons to be excited about it. Mistletoe. The farm. The community. The exposure. This is your night to shine and make a difference. Don’t lose sight of the reasons you’re doing it in the first place.” Victoria paused. “It’s all going to work out with the gig and with Fran. I guarantee it.”
Ruby gave her a smile. She loved her sister for trying. “How can you be sure?”
Victoria gave her a wink. “Because you don’t fall off a ladder for just anyone. You want this to work. So, it will.”