Me: Have a great last day of school. Are you all packed for your visit? I can’t wait to see you! I love you! <3
Jack: Thanks babe. I’m counting down the minutes until I get to see you. I love you, too. :)
My heart is so full right now. Jack will be here in two days, and I can’t wait to see him. Jack and I have both struggled since my move, but we’ve made it work like we promised we would. We still talk or Skype every night. He booked a flight out here as soon as we were settled, and I’ve been counting down the days on my calendar. It’s easier knowing when we’ll see each other again.
I miss him so much, it’s damn near painful.
I hear a ding from my phone and quickly check it.
Mom: I’m at the store. Want me to get anything special for Jack’s visit?
My parents have been incredibly supportive of my relationship with Jack. I was worried at first. How many parents of teenagers encourage a long-distance relationship? But my parents know how close Jack and I have always been and how hard this has been on both of us. It means a lot knowing they’re willing to help us see each other.
Me: Can you get him some Coke? I know we don’t drink it, but it’s his favorite pop.
I still can’t get over the fact that they call it soda here. It’ll always be pop to me. I never realized how different things are in other places compared to Oregon. Simple words have gotten me laughed at – like my use of “pop” instead of “soda.”
Chicago is weird, but I’m settling in. I even made a friend – Claire Morgan. She lives next door, and she’s in several of my classes. She’s been really nice to me. It’s been great finally having a real girlfriend instead of the fake, horrible ones I always had back in Portland.
It also helped to have a friend here for my 17th birthday, instead of just my family. It made it a little less depressing. I was upset that Jack couldn’t come out, but there was too much going on at home for him, and he couldn’t get away. To be fair, I missed his birthday, too. It’s the first birthday we’ve celebrated without each other.
I can’t help but notice the milestones that we’re missing now that we’re apart. But Claire has helped me feel less alone, and I’m excited for her to finally meet Jack since I’ve talked about him so much. I can’t wait for him to get here!
He’s here! I can’t believe it. God, I forgot how incredibly hot he is. I about melted at the airport when he swept me up and kissed me.
We walk out of the airport hand in hand, while I talk a mile a minute, telling him everything I have planned for his visit. He laughs at my enthusiasm and pulls me closer to him, kisses my hair, and then entwines my fingers with his.
I’m in heaven.
We spend most of his first day driving around the city so he can see where things are located, and then I take him back to my house. I help him get settled in the guest room – I knew my parents wouldn’t let him sleep in my room, no matter how much they like him – and then take him for a drive to a park I discovered after we moved. It’s not far from our house, but it’s a little more private than having my parents eavesdrop on our conversation.
We pull into the park and start walking around the trails.
“I can’t believe you’re really here!” I squeal, causing him to laugh at me.
“God, I missed you, Paige. It’s not the same without you. Not even close.”
He holds my hand as we walk and talk about meaningless things. We’re pretty up to date about each other’s lives since we talk every day, but we still manage to find plenty to talk about. We eventually sit down on a bench that sits on a side trail tucked just off the main path. I pull his head to mine and kiss him deeply.
I’ve missed this intimacy with him. He groans into my mouth, and I move my hand across the bulge in his pants – he’s clearly missed this, too.
“I really want to do more than kiss you right now.”
“Paige, I’m all up for adventurous, but I’d like to not get arrested within 24 hours of being here. I’m pretty sure sex in a public place could get us arrested.”
I’m a little disappointed that he’s being the voice of reason right now. I thought 17-year-old boys were supposed to be insatiable.
“You don’t want to have sex? Jack, we haven’t seen each other in…”
He cuts me off. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. When did you hear me say I didn’t want to have sex? God, Paige, that’s all I’ve thought about for the last 2 weeks, longer really. I just don’t want to do it in a public park.”
He thinks for a minute, “Your parents sleep all the way down the hall, right? On the opposite side of the hallway from the guest room?”
“Yeah.”
“So…you could sneak into my room after they go to bed.” He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, which makes him look absolutely ridiculous, but also adorable. I giggle and kiss him.
“I suppose I might be able to do that.”
“Might, huh? What does a guy need to do to turn that ‘might’ into a ‘yes’?”
“Hmm… well, I suppose I could be convinced if he were to kiss me properly.” Jack laughs loudly, making me laugh with him. I love our flirtatious banter.
“Like this?” He leans over and kisses my cheek. I giggle.
“Not quite what I had in mind.”
“Oh, you mean like this.” Then he kisses my lips briefly, not even using tongue. He’s purposely toying with me.
“You’re getting warmer.”
He smiles and then slides his fingers in my hair and pulls me fiercely against him. My lips part in a gasp, and he uses that opportunity to slip his tongue inside my mouth. Our tongues dance together as we make out.
I’m not sure how long we sit on that bench with our lips molded together and our hands exploring outside our clothes before we finally break apart.
We get back to my house just in time for dinner and spend the rest of the evening hanging out with my parents and watching a movie.
My parents go to bed at 10 o’clock, like they do every night. I know that it usually takes my dad about 10 minutes to pass out, but my mom reads for about half an hour, sometimes longer if it’s a really good book. At 11, when I figure it’s finally safe, I tiptoe down the hall to Jack’s room. His light is off, but I can tell he’s still awake because he sits up when I come in.
“I was starting to worry you’d changed your mind.”
“Not a chance. I was just waiting to make sure my parents were asleep. We’ll still need to be as quiet as possible, so we don’t wake them.”
“Damn, I was hoping I could make you scream like you used to do when my parents were gone. That was insanely hot, by the way.”
I laugh quietly and slap him on the arm. A smile spreads across his face, and he pulls me down on top of him. We make love for the first time in months, neither one of us lasting long and then fall asleep in each other’s arms.
I sneak out long before my parents wake up, although I enjoyed sleeping next to Jack for as long as possible. I’ve missed the warmth from being wrapped in his arms. I was thankful he had the foresight to set an alarm.
The week flies by, and before I know it, or am ready for it, we’re back at the airport dropping Jack off. He’s flying home for a day before leaving for his football camp, where he’ll be for the rest of the summer. Jack pulls me to him in a close hug. He’s been distant and reserved all morning.
He squeezes me tight, and my chest feels constricted and heavy with the weight of my sorrow. I’m not ready to say goodbye. I’m trying desperately not to cry, but I can tell by the wetness sliding down my cheeks that I’m epically failing. He leans his forehead, his eyes looking deeply into mine.
“Paige,” he whispers, “I hate this. I don’t want to be away from you anymore.”
His voice is strained, and I can’t help but wonder if he’s trying not to cry. I haven’t seen Jack cry since we were little kids.
“I don’t want to be away from you either. But we’re making it work.”
“Paige,” his voice is filled with pain.
His eyes are filled with a sadness that I’ve never seen in him before, not even when I left Portland. I have a terrible feeling in my gut, but I don’t want to hear him say what I’m afraid he’ll say. Instead, I kiss him deeply.
I pull away, a little breathless, my heart beating profusely in my chest, hoping that he won’t break it.
“I love you. Text me when you get home, okay?”
He still looks pained, like he wants to say something, but he just nods his head and kisses me again briefly before turning around and walking straight into the airport.
He doesn’t look back.
It’s not until he turns the corner that I realize he never said ‘I love you’ back to me.