The End

My eyes drifted across my office. Beyond the elegant gray and maroon art deco furniture, bookshelves filled with the national best sellers for which my firm was famous lined the walls.

Outside were the other immense limestone buildings of Rockefeller Center. Surely this was the most coveted business address in the world. Despite the sixty-plus years since the complex was built, its architecture and decorative art felt fresh and inspiring. It was always exhilarating to walk through the lobby of NBC, with its massive murals.

As I thought about my surroundings, I felt myself floating out through the window, into the fresh air, observing the scenes I knew were there. A few stragglers still ogled the empty set of the Today show down the block. Around the corner a dozen or so skaters caught the last days of the season at the famed ice rink as cheerful flags fluttered gently.

I heard the muted ring of my phone and the efficient sound of my assistant’s voice. In the beautiful spring morning light, the moment seemed a snapshot in some future album of how work once was. Even the dust was suspended in air, as if waiting for something to happen.

* * *

When my boss took the seat across my walnut desk to go over some routine matters, my mind reentered my body and snapped to attention. I focused intently on the business before us. We discussed the upcoming list of books we were publishing and which authors would need special attention. I updated him on our new staff members, pleased to report that they were all catching on quickly. He agreed. A few other odds and ends were reported back and forth. I was glad everything was running so smoothly. As he was rising from his seat, about to go into another meeting, I said, “Oh, yes, there’s one more thing.”

He sank back into the chair and eyed his watch.

“I’m resigning.” My heart pounded in my chest. I hadn’t planned to break the news yet, but I couldn’t hold it in. The reverie of the past few minutes dissolved into panic, as if I’d suddenly found myself on the crosstown bus without clothes on.

He sank back into his seat and looked at me, head slightly to one side, clearly indicating it was my turn to say something.

“I don’t have another job—it’s nothing like that,” I stammered, not wanting to offend him, even if I’d already stunned him.

“It’s just that we—Sandy, my husband, and I—well, we want to have a life. We thought we might do something different. In a small company. Maybe even move. Take a trip first. You know, that old after-college-cross-country thing.” I was babbling. But I was also making sense for the first time in a long time.

After a few moments expressing my desire to leave everything in the best possible shape, my boss left to report the news to his boss. I once again looked at the beautiful day outside my window and smiled, knowing I’d soon be out there.

* * *

As I left the office that day, I knew I was not dreaming. I was living my dream. My corporate days had ended.