We have witnessed the extremes that politics can produce. Actions, they say, speak louder than words. But the motivations of politicians can be just as entertaining and thought provoking. To round off our collection of political foolishness, we leave some parting thoughts.
POLITICS OBSERVED
Politics is derived from two words—“poly” meaning many and “tics” meaning small, blood-sucking insects.
(Anon)
Political promises go in one year and out the other.
(Anon)
Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects.
Lester Pearson, Canadian prime minister
Never mistake motion for action.
Ernest Hemingway
Man’s capacity for justice makes democracy possible; man’s inclination for injustice makes democracy necessary.
Reinhold Niebuhr, The Children of Light
and the Children of Darkness
Ninety percent of politicians give the other 10 percent a bad name.
Henry Kissinger, former
U.S. national security advisor
and secretary of state, 1978
THE CIVIL SERVICE
It’s like watching an elephant get pregnant. Everything’s done on a very high level, there’s a lot of commotion, and it takes 22 months for anything to happen.
U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt,
on working with the State Department
The only thing that saves us from bureaucracy is its inefficiency. An efficient bureaucracy is the greatest threat to freedom.
Eugene McCarthy, U.S. politician, 1979
The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it’s so rare.
Daniel Moynihan, U.S. senator, 1976
POLITICAL PERSPECTIVES
I ask you to judge me by the enemies I have made.
Franklin D. Roosevelt
The secret is to always let the other man have your way.
Claiborne Pell, U.S. senator, 1987
He’s a great ex-president. It’s a shame he couldn’t have gone directly to the ex-presidency.
Thomas Mann, Brookings Institute,
on ex-President Jimmy Carter’s success
in mediating with North Korea, 1994
The main advantage of being famous is that when you bore people at dinner parties they think it is their fault.
Henry Kissinger
Chief Secretary, I’m afraid there is no money. Kind regards and good luck.
Outgoing second-in-command of the Treasury,
Liam Byrne, leaving a message for his successor,
David Laws, after the British general election, 2010
One thing about a pig. He thinks he’s warm if his nose is warm. I saw a bunch of pigs one time that had frozen together in a circle, each one’s nose tucked under the rump of the one in front. We have a lot of pigs in politics.
Eugene McCarthy, U.S. politician, 1968
I was at a big international conference, when a woman who seemed vaguely familiar asked me where I was from. “I’m Tony Blair from the British Labor Party,” I replied. “And you are?” “My name is Beatrice and I’m from the Netherlands.” “Beatrice who?” “Just Beatrice.” “What do you do?” I asked. “I am the queen.”
Prime Minister Tony Blair, in a 1999 interview to
Woman’s Journal, revealing his worst social gaffe.
Jack Straw, British home secretary, visiting a retirement home in 1999, introduced himself to a resident with the greeting, “Do you know who I am?” The elderly woman replied, “No, dear, but if you ask matron, she will tell you.” Keep your sense of humor about your position. The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see his behind.
Donald Rumsfeld, U.S. defense secretary,
on serving President Ford 1974–76
I would never do anything to deride the profession of politics—although I think it is a form of madness.
Lord Home, former prime minister, 1983
It is in the national interest for me to take an afternoon nap because I cannot initiate anything while I am asleep.
Calvin Coolidge, U.S. president 1923–29
If you’ve got ’em by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
Sign on desk of Charles “Chuck” Colson,
special counsel to Richard Nixon, 1969–73
ELECTIONS
It’s not who votes that counts, but who counts the votes.
Anonymous graffiti, 1980s
Trust is not having to guess what a candidate means.
Gerald Ford, U.S. president, 1976
Be thankful only one of them can win.
Bumper sticker, Nixon-Kennedy contest, 1960
In your heart, you know he’s right.
Campaign slogan, right-wing Republican
candidate Barry Goldwater, 1964
In your guts, you know he’s nuts.
Democratic Party riposte, 1964
INTERNATIONAL AFFAIRS
The U.S. presidency is a Tudor monarchy with telephones.
English author Anthony Burgess, 1977
What a terrible revenge for Pearl Harbor.
Samuel Hayakawa, U.S. senator 1977–83,
on the success of McDonald’s in Japan
What is the USSR now? The USS were.
Quip in America during the collapse
of the Soviet Union, 1990
When you’re dealing with the Middle East, 2,000 years is the normal wait for things to happen.
Marlin Fitzwater, White House spokesperson,
on the Palestine problem, 1989
I seriously doubt if we will have another war. This [Vietnam] is probably the last.
U.S. president Richard Nixon, March 1971
And to conclude…Don’t tell my mother I’m in politics. She thinks I play piano in a whorehouse.
Anon, c930