A ROOM OF HER OWN

 

On a generation ship where space is at a premium…

Saulia finds her long-held dreams hardening into rebellious ambitions when the second tragedy in her life strikes far too quickly after the first.

A Room of Her Own is a standalone science fiction short story that was released as a single title on April 20, 2023.

 

 

FILIPP JUST HAPPENED TO COME across one of the rare passes for two to the center park. Saulia knew he was lying, but because he’d acquired the pass for her sake, she didn’t demand to know what law he’d broken to get it.

He hovered, not quite touching her, as she hobbled with her still mostly useless leg from the magline along the narrow passage to the garden gate. Filipp waved the pass and they stepped through into the open area of lush, cool grass and century-old oaks with arms akimbo, soaking up the brilliant daylight beaming from the overheads.

The air smelled cleaner here, even though it was the same air one breathed anywhere on the Artemis.

While Saulia waited just beyond the gate, Filipp wove through clumps of people enjoying their park rations and many more people wandering on their own, for their passes were the more common one-person-only class. When he found a clear spot, he came back and guided her to it.

Heads turned. As Saulia passed them, they bent to whisper to each other. She had been recognized. Her cheeks blazed. They knew it was her because of her limp. She tried to walk with a more even gait. That just made it worse.

They settled on the grass. Saulia leaned back on her hands and put her face up to the lights. It gave her an excuse to close her eyes. She waited for her trembling to pass.

The space Philipp had found was big enough that he could sit without touching her. He let his thigh rest against her good leg, anyway.

“Did you know the park used to be nearly twice the size it is today?” Filipp said.

She cracked open one eye. “Mr. History.”

Filipp’s smile was small. It didn’t reach his gray eyes.

Her heart sank.

Instead, he pointed to the walls and windows and doors on two sides of the park. “Eighty years ago, they ripped out most of the trees on those sides and built burgs.”

“Burgs with a view,” Saulia amended. Her own triple-two burger would cost twice as much if it had a window, although she had no idea where they might put one. There was no free wall space.

“Are we going to talk about it, Saulia?”

She sat up and brushed off her hands. “Not here.”

“Then where?” he demanded with forced patience.

Saulia hesitated. Her burg was one of the older ones. She’d listened to too much sex and too many arguments from the other five bunks to know the soundproofing was beyond its use-by date.

And even though Filipp had more room, his father would not allow “the scrubber” into his apartment. Not that Saulia would voluntarily step into it, even if he did invite her.

Instead of answering Filipp’s sideways question, Saulia jumped right into the bloody middle of the mess because Filipp would drag her there eventually, anyway. “Do you want me to apologize?”

Filipp opened his mouth. Closed it. “Apologize?” His tone was strained.

“I messed up our plans.”

“You lost a leg, Saulia. That wasn’t your fault.”

She stared at him, her heart thudding. Over Filipp’s shoulder, she could see the people sitting within earshot trying to look like they weren’t listening, which was polite. But they’d stopped talking. The closest, a woman with short gray hair and the dark coffee skin that came from overexposure to growing lights, kept her head turned firmly away...which put her ear in the right direction to suck up everything they were saying.

Saulia cleared her throat. There was nothing she could do about it. This patch of lawn with a precious meter of space between them and the rest of the ship was as good as it would get.

“You make it sound like I rolled the dice and lost a bet,” she told Filipp. “Oops, try again.”

“You could, if you really wanted to.” He was calm, but a pulse jumped in his neck.

“How?” she demanded. “You think they’re going to let me outside with this?” She curled her fingers over her knee. Just beneath, the rest of that leg was surgical grade polymer fauxskin over a titanium alloy frame, which was nearly twice as heavy as her other leg. “I can barely get around in normal gravity.”

“I think if you applied again, you might be surprised.”

“The new module will be finished before I got through training. And they would make me train again, with this.” Her fingers squeezed once more.

“Now that the Captain has unbent enough to build one, there’ll be more,” Filipp said, his tone still even. “When everyone sees what a difference the new space makes, they’ll demand more.”

It was his relentless optimism that infuriated Saulia. It was also why she loved him. Neither won, this time. Her gut was too wound up to feel anything else. She leaned closer and dropped her voice. “You don’t get it. Even if I was given another place on the construction team, it’s still too late. Your license expires at the end of the year and I wouldn’t earn my room bonus until well after that.”

Her sway forward revealed more of the park beyond Filipp’s body. A man with pinched features and an unshaved chin stood with his back to one of the oaks, his arms crossed. He was watching them. He didn’t look away when Saulia spotted him, either.

She knew his face. She had seen it before. She just didn’t know where and didn’t have the attention to spare to figure it out. She refocused upon Filipp. “Once you’ve won the lottery, you don’t get put in the draw anymore. This is our one chance...” Her throat closed over. Her eyes ached.

Filipp picked up her hand. “We could always use your crib. Lots of people raise a baby in burgers.”

Her tears did spill then. They fell harder, because she knew everyone around them was soaking up their conversation. Whispering it to their neighbors.

After the micro asteroid had holed her suit, which had maintained her air integrity by clamping around her exposed limb and severing it, then sealing over the stump and pumping her full of trauma drugs, her face was all over screens everywhere. Until then, no one had known about the “safety features” of the suits the module crews wore. Not even the crew members knew.

Now everyone knew about her. She couldn’t move anywhere these days without someone shooting her a glance full of pity and not-quite-hidden curiosity.

Filipp would have seen the same speculative glances being sent their way from the people behind her, but he didn’t seem to care. He just wiped her cheeks and looked at her, his thick brow lifted a little.

Saulia shook her head. “You have the license, I earn the room. We agreed. I am not raising a child in a crib, Filipp.”

He squeezed her hand. “How much of the apartment you grew up in do you really remember?” His gaze was steady. “Or do you just remember the corner of your room where you played? The conversations with your parents?”

Saulia wanted to argue. She just wasn’t sure she could.

Filipp spotted her hesitation, for he nodded. “What you do remember about your childhood is everything we can give our child. Attention. Care. Love. That’s all it needs. Where we do it doesn’t matter.”

She pulled her hands out of his. “But I want my own room! For us!” And she buried her face in her hands, hiding from everyone who had heard her. Even Filipp.

“Damn him...” Filipp muttered, his voice only now showing something stronger than patience and understanding. The harsh note made Saulia scrub her face and look at him.

Filipp nodded toward the park gates, behind her. “Look who just arrived.”

Saulia would have looked, except her attention was caught by the pinched man under the oak tree. The man had straightened, and two others gathered next to him, as they stared in the direction of the gates, their eyes narrowed.

Saulia twisted to look at the gates, just as everyone around her was turning to look.

The man waiting for the gate to be opened for him was as tall as Filipp, with the same dark skin and light eyes. Only the man was thirty years older and carried at least ten kilograms of extra weight, which made his body look distorted. She had never seen anyone rounded out the way he was.

“Captain Whoreson,” someone whispered.

Captain Mori stepped through the gate and paused while his two security men arranged themselves beside him. Even more gray uniformed security staff poured through the gate behind them and spread out along the edge of the park.

“Did he know you were coming here today?” Saulia asked Filipp, keeping her voice very low.

Filipp scowled and shook his head, his gaze on his father.

The line of security people stepped forward in unison. They forced people to their feet. Those already standing they channeled to one side, clearing out the front corner of the park. Making room for the Captain.

There was already little enough room. People scrambled to their feet and backed out of the way, jamming up in front of the security squad. Others tried to move aside but couldn’t. The squad pressed forward.

From the direction of the oaks, Saulia heard angry murmurs. They mixed with the cries of dismay and urgency sounding from the front of the park.

“Get up,” Filipp said quickly, jumping to his feet. He bent and hauled her up, not waiting for her slow and awkward rise.

They were already being pressed back by everyone in front of them trying to get out of the way. There was only one entrance, which the squad line had cut off.

“They have to let people out,” Saulia gasped as she nearly tripped. Moving backward was even more awkward than her forward gimp.

“Shit...” Filipp breathed, then picked her up and put her on her feet once more.

Saulia risked a glance up to see what had caused him to swear.

Captain Mori was looking directly at them. He leaned toward one of his two personal guards and murmured, then pointed at Filipp.

He was smiling. Delighted.

As the guard passed along the order to the squad line, Mori actually raised his hand in greeting to Filipp. He didn’t seem to notice Saulia was there, which was fine by her.

The squad line turned into a bow front, which pushed through the crowd, heading in their direction.

The edges of panic sounded, as everyone tried to get out of the way fast enough to not be shoved aside. Among the concern, Saulia heard angry notes.

More furious tones sounded behind them. Scuffles and grunts of effort.

She couldn’t risk looking behind her. She would overbalance, which would not be good, not here, with the thick press of people driven by armed guards.

Mori followed the guards, strolling along the open grass they had cleared. His gaze was on Filipp.

On the other side of the squad line, hisses and boos sounded.

Mori didn’t seem to hear the negative sounds directed at him. He never did, even though in the last few years, the chorus of disapproval had grown louder with each appearance he made outside the flight deck and Captain’s quarters.

Rumor said the Captain’s quarters were a whole ninety square meters. Thanks to Filipp, Saulia knew the truth, though. She knew there was nearly double that space.

“Give us an election!” came the shout from the back of the park.

“Let us vote for a captain!”

“Resign, you bloody despot!”

“Election! Election!”

The chants began at the back of the park, but swiftly spread to the front. The people there chanted and waved their fists. Now their anger was visible.

“We want an election!”

“Resign! Resign!”

Mori ignored it all. As always.

The front of the squad line slowed its progress, for the press of people was too thick. And now they weren’t giving way.

Saulia didn’t see the first thrown object. She only saw the result. One of the squad line dropped, a hand to their face.

The guards on either side stepped into the breech, their shoulders coming together as the crowd surged into the space that had opened and cannoned into them. More objects were thrown. Shoes. Rocks from under the oaks. Acorns. Insulated mugs.

The guards hit back with their batons.

Cries of fury sounded from the back of the park—which was now a lot closer than it had been. Someone pushed into Saulia’s back with a grunt. She staggered forward and just barely kept on her feet. Her leg gave a sharp throb.

Filipp spun and shoved back, with a low curse.

Fights were breaking out everywhere, but especially up against the squad line, which was holding its ground. They used batons and sleepy spray, but every time someone dropped, more took their place and tried to press through the squad line to reach the Captain.

Mori stood in the open space behind the lines, his hands in tight fists, his face darkened with anger. The remaining personal guard was shouting at him, pointing to the gate.

“Watch out!” Filipp cried as someone rammed into them from behind. Saulia thrust her foot forward, but it was still too weak for that sort of effort and her knee gave way.

She went down, fear thick in her throat, her arms up to ward off the boots shifting and stomping around her and over her.

A hard boot toe kicked her ribs and she curled up protectively. Someone tripped over her shoulders and went down heavily on top of her, driving the wind out of her.

They were plucked and tossed away. Filipp hoisted her up again. “Stay on your feet!” he shouted at her. “No matter what!”

Then a riot gun bellowed.

And just for a second, the crowd paused.

“He shot Alfie!” a man screamed. “They shot him!”

The note of rage rang from hundreds of throats. Now the crowd was a coherent beast, venting its fury upon the squad line, which fought back just as grimly.

More riot gun fire. More screams. Saulia didn’t dare try to look over shoulders and heads. It was challenge enough just to stay standing while pulled and pushed by the heavy surges.

“The gates! They’re open! Go! Go!”

Boots slapped compressed carbon flooring, as some of the crowd leaked through the line and the park gate. Yet they were not escaping, for Saulia heard distant shouting. Screams came from the narrow alley that led to the magline station and the tiny public square that serviced it.

The violence was metastasizing.

The deep growl of a riot gun very close by jerked Saulia’s attention back to where she was.

“Come around this way,” Filipp shouted, grabbing her hand. “We’re going to move around to the edge, then up the side to the gate.”

She nodded and used her spare hand to prop herself up, leaning and pushing against backs and shoulders. She kept her head down, watching where she placed her feet.

Then Filipp’s hand was wrenched from hers. A man, sprouting blood from a great wound in his belly, stumbled into her. Saulia used her good foot to ground herself and push the man from her, so she wasn’t pulled down with him.

He staggered from her and collided with a guard, who raised his gun at her as he fell back.

Saulia drew in a sharp, surprised breath. Did he think she was attacking him?

That was the only thought she had time to spare, before the gun belched...and Filipp stepped in front of her.

Saulia got her arms up as Filipp was thrown back into her. He was too heavy to hold. She lowered him right there where she was and got to her knees beside him.

“No!” came a scream. “Let me through! Let me reach him! Hold your fire!”

Saulia barely processed the protest, the calming of movement around her. She held Filipp’s hand, her body numb, and her thoughts fractured.

Mori dropped to his knees on the other side of Filipp’s body. He shook Filipp, until he understood the truth. Then he wept, his hands together, as he rocked over him.

Saulia stared at the Captain, as the coldness in her gut and her chest brought all her thoughts together and focused them like a laser.

Far out beyond the park, she could hear the riot continuing, even though stillness had dropped down upon the people around her.

“Call an election,” she told Mori. Her voice held only a tiny tremble. “Stop this insanity. Right now.”

Mori rocked and wept and didn’t answer.

●

SAULIA BARELY LIMPED AS SHE moved to answer the call at the door. She let the door open and nodded at the man with the pinched features and the thick beard that hid his weak chin. The weakness was merely an outward appearance, she’d learned. “Come in, Cornelius.” There were five other people behind him, all of them faces she had come to know in the last few weeks.

They traipsed in, every one of them turning their heads to take in the space, which had very little in it. That would change, eventually.

“Wow, you have a whole room to yourself?” one of them breathed. “How did you pull that off?”

“Guilt is a powerful motivator,” Saulia said. She caught Cornelius’ gaze. “The room is sealed. We can talk freely here.”

Cornelius crossed his arms. “What did you have in mind to talk about?”

“Only what you have been whispering for months. It’s time for Mori to give up his inalienable right to be Captain. The ship must elect a captain, one who cares about the people living in it.”

Cornelius considered, rubbing his chin. “After the riot and the death of his son, he only needs a tiny little push, and he’ll do it.”

“Then let’s push him,” Saulia replied. She looked around the room. “Everyone, listen up.”