Praying for Your Husband’s View of Money
The love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
1 TIMOTHY 6:10
I have always heard that money problems are at the base of the majority of arguments and disagreements in a marriage. And sure enough, when I typed in “What are the top ten problems in marriages?” on my Internet search site, almost every list created by both marriage counselors and divorce lawyers had finances right up there at the top as number one!
Just pick up any newspaper or magazine or read your online world news link and you will immediately know that marriage is not the only institution having money problems. Government committees and leaders, businesses both large and small, and even many churches get trapped into thinking money is the answer to every problem.
And it’s no different for your marriage and family. It’s so easy—and natural—to mistakenly think, If we just had more money, we could have a car that isn’t more than a decade old. We could live in a nicer neighborhood, and our kids could attend a better school. And just think of the bonding that could occur if we had enough money to go on a real vacation!
Many working wives also think, If we had more money, I could quit my job and take care of things at home and be a better wife and mom.
On and on our daydreams, wishes, rationalizations, and justifications go. This kind of thinking can only lead to the conclusion that in order to feed our desires, however noble or fun we think they might be, we will need more money—and the more the better, and the sooner the better!
“If God Didn’t Meet It, I Didn’t Need It”
Part of our testimony includes the fact that Jim and I were very well off financially when we became Christians. Well, it wasn’t long before Jim decided he wanted to resign from his job and attend seminary so he could go into the ministry. To do this meant we had to sell our really nice home and our second car—and move our family of four to a 900-square-foot house.
You wouldn’t believe how long the list of “Things This House Didn’t Have” was! And the biggies were air-conditioning and a dishwasher (how’s that for living in the California desert?). All I can say is it was a really good thing I was learning to pray every day. Well, I took my “Things This House Didn’t Have” list and placed it before God in prayer every single day. I prayed right through the list, ticking off each lack on the list. And the next morning and the next I did the same thing again and again—for years!
That’s when I developed a saying that helped me through each day’s money trials. My job was to pray daily about my perceived needs. God’s job was to meet the “needs” if and when we truly needed them, to meet them in His timing and in His way. Thus my little saying was born: “If God didn’t meet it, I didn’t need it.” Each day I faithfully laid my needs into God’s lap through prayer, and each day I was able to rise up from prayer and go about my day without another thought about our finances. They were where they needed to be—in God’s hands.
I also took a firm hold onto this translation of Psalm 23:1 (TLB):
Because the Lord is my Shepherd,
I have everything I need!
Learning to Be Content
Thank the Lord, I continued to read my Bible for all the decades to come. I’m not sure how else I would have made it through the drastic financial ups and downs our family experienced.
But at some point in this learning-to-pray-about-our-finances process I had found and grabbed onto Philippians 4:11-13 like a woman going down in a stormy sea for the third time. As you read these golden verses, really read them. Note each word and each sentence and each truth. These scriptures are filled with the realities of life. With answers for our struggles. With encouragement. With a mature outlook on having and not having. And with victory.
11 … I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content:
12 I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.
13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Grab a pen or pencil and underline “learned” in your Bible. Next, circle the three couplets that express the extremes of our needs. Then draw a circle around “content,” which signifies the glorious result of the learning process described in these verses. And finally, if you haven’t already, memorize verse 13, Paul’s victory cry.
Having money is not wrong in itself. In fact, money is amoral—it is neither bad nor good. What makes money bad or good is our attitude toward it and use of it. Nowhere in the Bible is being wealthy called a sin. Why, some of the greatest men of the Old Testament, such as Abraham, Job, and Solomon, were extremely wealthy. And in the New Testament we read about Joseph of Arimathea, a wealthy leader who followed Jesus and gave up his own tomb as a burial place for Jesus’ body (Matthew 27:60).
No, money is not the problem. The real issue is how you use the money you do receive and possess. As with everything you and your husband have, you are called to be stewards of God’s providential blessing of money. And you are also accountable to God for how you use it.
Money Is Like a Mirage
Here’s an image to keep in mind: Money is like a mirage in the desert. It gives the appearance of being the answer to all your problems. But, like that mirage, it is only an illusion. So for a variety of reasons, you should be concerned about your husband’s view and management of money. Here are several key reasons for lifting daily prayers to God for your husband—and you too!
Money does not solve your problems. It is hard as a couple not to think “If-only-we-had-more-money” thoughts all day long every day until the day you die. But here’s a fact that is a dose of reality, a real wake-up call: Money does not solve your problems. In fact, it can compound them.
The Bible clearly recognizes that money is necessary for survival. The money you earn and have must be gained honestly and managed carefully. Husbands are to work and provide for their families (1 Timothy 5:8). And the Proverbs 31 woman shows wives multiple ways to contribute to the financial condition of the family.
But God’s Word also warns against the misuse of monetary resources. The love of money is referred to as “a root of all kinds of evil” (1 Timothy 6:10). Money can be dangerous because it has the potential to become an instrument that inflames our materialistic desires. It can tempt us to buy what we want, not just what we need.
Money can become a barrier between you and God. When Jesus said, “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God” (Mark 10:25), His disciples were stunned. They asked, “Then who can be saved?” (verse 26). This exchange took place after Jesus had confronted a rich young ruler who came to Him desiring to inherit eternal life. Jesus’ answer? “Sell whatever you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, take up the cross, and follow Me” (verse 21). Sadly, this wealthy man was unwilling to give up his money. He “went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions” (verse 22).
These words from Jesus speak directly to our hearts all these centuries later, letting us know that money is not the most important thing in our life. Knowing, loving, and following Christ is. You take a lot of pressure off your husband when your first love is Jesus Himself. When this is true in your heart and you are faithful to take your concerns about your financial condition to God in prayer, you will be content with what you have. You will be joyously thankful for all of God’s rich blessings. Don’t let money matters become a barrier that keeps you and your husband from loving and trusting God and living for Him.
Money is not the measure of your standing with God. In Jesus’ day, wealth was seen as a visible sign of a person’s spirituality and favor with God. That’s why Jesus’ disciples were so shocked when He said, “How hard it is for those who have riches to enter the kingdom of God!” (Mark 10:23). They had been taught that wealth was a blessing of God, a reward from Him for being good.
Unfortunately, this misconception is still common in some churches today. The fact some believers enjoy material prosperity is not necessarily an indicator of their spirituality or God’s partiality toward them. We are to measure a person’s spiritual maturity by their life, not their bank account. The same is true of the lack of wealth. Being poor is not an indicator of God’s disapproval or punishment. Wealth is merely one of many ways God blesses His children.
Money can lead to a destructive self-reliance. Money can become a symbol of our accomplishments and efforts, which can lead to pride. There’s no doubt our society uses wealth and its outward signs as a measuring stick for success.
But there is great danger in dwelling on what we do have, because it’s easy to become proud and reason, “Look what I did!”—or worse, “Why do I need God?” We can slip into living as though all our needs are met with money. If we get sick, no worries! We can afford the finest medical care possible. If my child has a need, no problem! I can pay for a solution.
In Luke 12:16-20, Jesus taught the parable of the rich fool to a crowd so large the people were trampling one another. In this story, the rich man’s self-reliance said, “Soul, you have many goods laid up for many years; take your ease; eat, drink, and be merry” (verse 19). Wow, what arrogance—what pride! And how about this man’s lifetime goal—lay up money so I can take it easy and eat, drink, and be merry?
Jesus’ point is a warning in verse 15: “Take heed and beware of covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses.”
I hope you realize that through Jesus’ story about the rich fool we are witnessing God’s view on money, riches, and ambition. And knowing what God says about the attitude you should have toward money will help you pray for your husband. You can pray for him to embrace Christ’s teachings on possessions and abundance. It will also affect the way you approach your needs, desires, wants, and dreams—which will be a positive factor in your husband’s life and outlook! Trust God with what you do have. And be a careful manager of those things.
Of course, you will also want to put your trust in God for what you don’t have and what you think you need. Again, it comforts me to remember that familiar promise and truth in Psalm 23:1: “The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.” My friend, God provides everything His children need, or He wouldn’t be a good shepherd. You can carry this promise in your heart through better or worse, in poverty or plenty, in sickness and health… till death you do part.
The Joy of Praying for Your Husband
As we look at yet another verse to pray for your husband, don’t forget to remind yourself that this verse equally applies to you too. Your thoughts and attitude about money and the use of it are important and can have positive or negative effects on your husband’s daily life.
For instance (and I’m speaking of lessons I had to learn the hard way), if you complain about your financial situation or whine and nag about something you wish you had or think you need, or point to what you think is missing in your life, your husband can end up feeling tremendous pressure. You may cause him to think that he’s a failure in providing for his family. He might think he needs a second job. He may begin to resent you and stop talking to you. He may think you will never be satisfied and there’s no way he can earn your approval.
But if you have a heart that is at rest and content about money, status, and possessions, your husband will be able to relax and rest in the calm you create. He can rejoice and thank God that you make his life bearable, that he can come home each day to a happy wife and a happy home. If you refuse to complain and gripe about worldly goods and needs and wants and wishes and desires, he will lead your family with more confidence.
And I probably don’t even need to mention how your failure to curb spending and to help hold down the budget will work directly against his goal of providing for you.
As a wife, I’m sure you can see many reasons why you need to be praying for your husband and how he views money and deals with it. How your husband (and you too!) deals with money is a serious concern. Money is referred to multiple times in the New Testament as “filthy lucre.”1 Just reading or hearing these two words—filthy lucre—makes me want to pray even more fervently that my husband is not obsessed with making money.
And so we pray! Pray and plead with God to help your husband to “seek those things which are above, where Christ is sitting at the right hand of God.” Pray that he will “set [his] mind on things above, not on things on the earth” (Colossians 3:1-2). Now look again at the beginning of this chapter and read through our verse to pray.
My Prayer for My Husband 
1 Timothy 6:10
Dear Lord, I pray that __________ will not succumb to a love of money that would divert his focus from You and toward all the evils an obsession with money can bring. Give __________ the strength instead to pursue a life of goodness and generosity.
Looking at the Verse
If you read all of 1 Timothy chapter 6, you will discover that verse 10 (the basis for this prayer for your husband) is directed toward those who are teachers. However, as a general principle, it also applies to every believer. This makes verse 10 a perfect scripture to continuously pray for both you and your husband.
Verse 10 begins by informing us that “the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil.” Such love is not the only “root” of evil, yet it definitely provides for a lot of evil. But as we considered earlier, it is not money itself that should be the concern for our husbands. Money is neutral. It can be used for good or for evil purposes—depending on the heart and motives of the person who possesses it. What you are to pray for is your husband’s attitude toward money. It’s the “love of money” that is the sin of greed.
Money has the power to take God’s place in your husband’s life. It can easily become you and your husband’s master. How can you tell if the two of you are becoming “lovers of money”? What are some of the danger signs that indicate you are moving in that direction?
When it comes to praying for your husband, here is a checklist you can pray through.
— Is your husband becoming more concerned with making money?
— Is your husband becoming more worried about money?
— Is your husband becoming more obsessed with wanting more money?
— Is your husband flaunting his money?
— Is your husband stingy with money?
Beyond Prayer, What Can You Do?
Be positive—Are you a positive or negative influence on your husband’s attitude toward money? Do you need to stop complaining about what you think you need or don’t have and start thanking and praising God for what you do have?
Be watchful—You can’t help but stay involved in your husband’s life if you are praying for him. After all, you are a couple. As you are praying for the way he handles and deals with money, keep your eyes and heart open, keep the compliments and praise coming—and pray some more!
As his wife, ask questions. It’s a key way you can bond with him and be proud of the work he does. You can appreciate—and pray for—the challenges he faces at work. Knowing more about your husband’s job makes you a partner with him. You know, therefore you can care, therefore you pray! You are his partner in life, and you can be his silent partner when he is at work.
A loving, concerned wife will pray for her husband to be delivered from temptation and evil (see the Lord’s Prayer, Matthew 6:13).
Be aware—Money is a deceptive and hard taskmaster. Spending it can bring a rush of excitement. And everyone loves to see, use, and appreciate what they have purchased. But money cannot ensure health or happiness. Whatever happiness you think your money brings to your life is temporary, an illusion. Only Jesus can give you real happiness each day—and give you eternal life forever. As David mused with regard to being with God, “In Your presence is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore” (Psalm 16:11).
As wealthy and powerful and successful as David was, his heart’s gaze was kept heavenward. Do whatever you must to be sure your focus and devotion are on God.
Be giving—You and your husband are stewards of the resources and money God gives you, and He expects you to manage and use them wisely, carefully, and thoughtfully—and generously—no matter how little or much you have. As the Bible says, “Let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver” (2 Corinthians 9:7). As a couple, pray before you spend, and pray before you give. Be happy—“cheerful”—when you give!
Be an efficient money manager—Because the management of your money is in reality a spiritual matter, both you and your husband are to take your stewardship of God’s provision seriously. Discuss and agree on which of you will take care of bill-paying. Make sure there is regular accountability and setting of financial goals. Don’t become a divorce statistic because you cannot or will not work together to take care of money problems and agree to manage them as a unit. Be that woman who “watches over the ways of her household” (Proverbs 31:27).
Be open to financial advice—Unfortunately, our society makes it all too easy to fall into debt. Credit cards allow us to buy anything with no thought about how we can pay for it. If you and your husband are having money problems, get help. I’ve seen firsthand how this works. The woman who cuts my hair and her husband were hopelessly in debt. Thankfully, they got help. They sought out a financial counselor. Under his guidance, they built a three-year plan for digging out of debt. Bravo—they did it! Before they took steps to manage their money more wisely, they were miserable, and their marriage—and family—was miserable as well.
Staying out of debt is a daily prayer and practice concern. Daily prayer and discussion about your financial condition can keep you and your hubbie on your toes and help you stay out of debt. It keeps your heads on when it comes to spending and saving. But if you need outside help from an expert, reach out and give it your all.
Check your bank and credit card balances daily. I compare getting into debt to gaining weight. If you don’t get on the scales on a regular basis, one day you will wake up and discover you’ve gained 20 new unwelcome pounds! That can happen with debt as well. If you fail to check your financial status regularly, you will wake up one day hopelessly in debt.
Be a couple whose treasures are in heaven—Money has a powerful place in your marriage. Jesus declared, “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:21). Money is needed and necessary, but don’t let it rule your life and marriage. Remember, you cannot out-give God, and He has promised He will provide. I’m not suggesting that the couple I’m about to introduce is to be the norm, but I do believe we can pray to follow in their footsteps and lay up treasure in heaven:
C.T. Studd was educated at Cambridge, and a hero of the British sport-loving public. In the early 1880s the secular world was shocked by C.T. Studd’s deciding upon his conversion to Christ to pursue a missionary career. He had an inheritance of around 29,000 English pounds, which was a sizeable fortune in the 1880s. He gave it all away except for a small amount he gave to his fiancee. Not to be outdone, she gave that money away too. The couple then went to Africa as missionaries with nothing.2
A Prayer for When You’re Worried About Money
A Prayer from Elizabeth’s Heart
Help, Jesus! It’s easy to get caught up in the lure of the world around me, to be tempted to amass material possessions, to hoard money. Teach me to seek You and Your kingdom and trust Your provision for my real needs. Help me learn to be content with what You supply. Calm my heart about the future as I count on You to provide in Your perfect timing.3
