Praying for Your Husband to Act with Courage
Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.
JOSHUA 1:9
Ordinary days.” How many situations can arise in an ordinary day in your life that cause fear or doubt or a lack of confidence to well up in your stomach or maybe your throat? I’ve made my own short list from some of my days that began in the usual way. You know, quiet house, quiet world, perfect quiet time topped off with a magnificent sunrise, all of which occur before the world starts to rock and roll. Then somewhere along the way of the day something occurs that produces disturbing emotions:
• Witnessing a teen boy and his dad in a physical and verbal brawl
• Enduring a super-bumpy plane ride
• Having a flat tire on a dark stretch of road at night
• Facing a public performance or ministry or work responsibility
• Suffering through a medical procedure to determine the cause of a physical problem
• Helplessly watching a child or grandchild suffer a long-term medical condition
• Coping with a stressful relationship with a family member
• Taking your husband to the parade grounds on base before he deploys to a foreign country
Courage in the Midst of Fear
It’s easy to stand by and do nothing when something happens, isn’t it? You tell yourself, Just don’t get drawn in. Let someone else get involved and take care of this. Unfortunately, usually nobody does! We’ve all heard distressing stories of people dying in a public area because no one would stop to help or volunteer or even dial 911 for emergency services.
In this chapter we will talk about praying for our husbands to be men of courage. But you and I also need courage for a multitude of situations that require us to act or take a stand or speak up, or make a tough decision and do the hard thing. I know I do. After all, I created the list of situations above!
As we move through this topic, remember that courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is having the ability to act in the midst of fear. There are many inspiring examples of courage among the women in the Bible, but the faithful and fearless band of women who followed Jesus has to be at the top of my courage list! We will get to your husband in a minute; first, let’s spend some girl time looking at these ladies who have instructed and inspired women for centuries to stand up, be strong, and with God’s help, do what must be done.
The women at the cross—There are some women in the Bible who I simply cannot point to enough or think of often enough because they were so courageous in their faithfulness to our Lord Jesus, no matter what and regardless of danger or misunderstanding. They are the women who huddled at the cross and who, in spite of the risks and the possibility of bodily harm and criticism from others, courageously did the right thing.
Can you imagine the scene on the day Jesus died? The sky grew dark even though it was still day. Earthquakes occurred, splitting rocks and opening long-sealed tombs, and many of the dead saints of old rose from their graves and were walking about.
It was such a scary sight and experience that even the hardened Roman soldiers “feared greatly” (Matthew 27:54). And all but one of Jesus’ disciples fled this horrifying scene of pure chaos, leaving their faithful Friend, Teacher, Master, Savior, and Lord during His hour of suffering and death.
Yet in the midst of this fearful, dangerous, and disturbing setting of agony and crazed activity we see that “many women who followed Jesus from Galilee, ministering to Him, were there looking on from afar” (verse 55). These women were truly courageous at a time when all normalcy disappeared and life spun out of control, causing those present to fear for their lives.
“Why,” you may be asking along with me, “were these women so brave in the midst of a horrendous and life-threatening situation while others cowered or fled in fear?”
The answer is love—love for Jesus. Their love for their Friend and Teacher was so great it fought off their fears. They lived out the truth that “there is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear” (1 John 4:18). And their faith in God was so strong and steady that they acted with courage. Perhaps they were boldly reminding themselves to rely on the Lord, as the psalmist did in Psalm 56:4:
In God I have put my trust;
I will not fear.
What can flesh do to me?
Faith in God is always the antidote for fear. Your need for courage to fight off and withstand the fears of death, suffering, loss, tragedy, illness, and sorrow finds its strength in the Lord. And, as Jesus taught and warned, “In Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). So when—not if—your trials arrive, whatever they may be and whatever their magnitude, look to Jesus. Let Him and His presence displace your fears with His courage.
In general, our opportunities to exhibit courage don’t involve danger. But fear is always an element in the midst of suffering and pain. That’s why the example of these women bolsters our courage. Their faithfulness and their courage, however shaky, is an example for us in our trying situations and encounters. Their faith and trust in God empowered them with the bravery they needed to face danger as they identified themselves with their Savior, who was despised and rejected and being put to death.
This rag-tag group of women from all walks of life was willing to stand up for Jesus, to identify with Him, and to serve Him to the very end. Do you have this kind of commitment to the Lord and the things He stands for and against? If your resolve is weak or lacking, pray! Ask God to deepen your love and resultant faith for Jesus, so that you too will have the courage to live for Jesus each and every day, come what may.
The man who defended the cross—Now fast-forward some 1500 years from the time of Jesus and these noble women to 1517. Here we meet a 34-year-old German priest named Martin Luther. I’ve heard my husband share Martin Luther’s story scores of times in sermons and pastors’ conferences and men’s groups as an example of standing up for what you believe—of having courage. So I’m passing on Jim’s message to you.
In his day, Martin Luther became outraged that people were being taught that freedom from God’s punishment of sin could be purchased with money. People were offered these “indulgences,” which were described in an edict from Pope Leo X. Luther confronted the peddling of these indulgences with 95 statements that he nailed on the door of All Saints’ Church in Wittenberg, Germany. This now-famous list criticized the Pope and explained that the sale of these “get out of hell free passes” were religiously incorrect. Christ’s death was the only thing that could keep a person out of hell, not the payment of money to the church!
Luther knew the serious nature of his official summons due to his criticism of the sale of the indulgences. Yet he still appeared as ordered on April 17, 1521, before the Diet of Worms, a general assembly of the Catholic Church in the small town of Worms in Germany. There, Luther was presented with a list of his writings. He was then asked two questions: Were the books his, and did he stand by their contents?
Luther requested time to think about his answers. He was given until the next day to offer his reply. After Luther was dismissed, he prayed and consulted with friends. When he was brought before his accusers on the next day, he quickly confirmed he was the author of the writings. Then in response to the second question—Did he stand by their contents?—he said this:
Unless I am convinced by the testimony of the Scriptures or by clear reason (for I do not trust either in the pope or in councils alone, since it is well known that they have often erred and contradicted themselves), I am bound by the Scriptures I have quoted and my conscience is captive to the Word of God. I cannot and will not recant anything, since it is neither safe nor right to go against conscience. May God help me. Amen.1
Martin Luther is also quoted as saying during the same meeting: “Here I stand. I can do no other.” But regardless of the full extent of his statement, the effects of these now well-known Ninety-Five Theses were huge. Luther’s courage—his willingness to stand true to his beliefs—was the spark that ignited the great Protestant Reformation.
Praying for Courage
We can only imagine the number of prayers that the women at the cross and Martin Luther sent flying heavenward during their ordeals. And we can only guess at the intensity and fervency of those prayers! For sure, all Christians are not only to pray for courage in the midst of fiery trials and distress, but also to pray regularly for courage.
God has four words for you or your husband when you must face, endure, or are surprised by life’s challenges:
Do not be afraid.
These words were spoken by God to Joshua, who became the leader of the children of Israel after Moses died. Suddenly Joshua was expected to lead a massive group of people—more than two million of them! It’s no wonder God had to repeatedly encourage His new leader. He spent a considerable amount of time bolstering Joshua’s courage and admonishing him about the dangers of fear (Joshua 1:1-9).
So if God went to such great lengths to encourage His “man” to be courageous, shouldn’t you and I be doing the same for our “man,” our husband? That’s why Joshua 1:9 is such an important verse for you to be praying for your husband: “Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”
My Prayer for My Husband 
Joshua 1:9
Lord Jesus, thank You that You are beside my precious __________ right now and at all times. Help __________ to sense Your powerful presence when he needs to be courageous and live boldly as a Christian. Encourage __________ to speak up when it’s the right thing to do and stand up in difficult situations. Amen.
Fear is often seen as being reserved for those who are weak. But Joshua was in no way weak. He was a bona fide leader after God’s own heart, a worthy study in leadership himself. You can read his story in the book of Joshua in the Bible. Once you begin reading about him, you will quickly discover Joshua had a bad case of “the fears.”
Joshua’s position as leader of God’s people, the Israelites (Joshua 1:1), got off to an immediate start. One minute Joshua was the servant and follower of Moses… and the next minute God had put him in charge.
It appears that with this sudden call to leadership, Joshua was fairly fearful and anxious. But God never rebuked Joshua’s fear. He only instructed, exhorted, and encouraged Joshua to be strong and overcome his fear by trusting in Him. Joshua’s fears were justified because of…
Joshua’s predecessor, Moses. Joshua was expected to follow in the sandals of the bigger-than-life-leader—the same Moses who talked to God and miraculously led the people of Israel out of the nation of Egypt. Then there was…
Joshua’s army, if you could call it that! His men were a ragtag band with little or no military training or experience in battle. And finally, there was…
Joshua’s enemy, who inhabited the land. Joshua had seen them himself. They were giants—literally. They were savage tribes who refused to give up their land without a fierce fight (Numbers 13:32; 14:45).
God knew Joshua, and He knows you and your husband too. He also knows that you are strong in many ways but still tend to have your own fears and doubts. But no worries! God told Joshua—and He speaks to you and your husband as well—to “be strong and of good courage.” Why? And how? Because “the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”
So whatever you and your husband are currently facing or will face in the future, you can both draw on three reasons why you can always act with courage. These three reasons tell you why you never need to let fear immobilize you—why you can be courageous in fighting the battles the two of you are facing now and will face in the future.
Reason #1: Courage grows from God’s character—God said to Joshua, “Be strong and courageous” (Joshua 1:9). God was like a coach—the ultimate coach—on the sidelines, encouraging Joshua to, in essence, “lead these people to victory—give them the land! You can do it, Joshua!”
“Why, Lord?” we might wonder along with Joshua.
“Because I swore to their fathers to give them possession of the land,” the Lord explained (see verse 6).
End of discussion! God promised it, and… it was as good as done.
Joshua had to go to battle. That was settled. But God’s purpose, promise, and pep talk meant Joshua could go into battle with courage, knowing that God, who cannot lie, had promised victory. God was not going to allow Joshua to fail nor fail to fulfill God’s promise to the people.
Understanding God’s character gives your husband and you assurance of His ability to fulfill the promises He has presented in His Word. He has promised you victory too: “Thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ” (2 Corinthians 2:14). And, like Joshua, you must trust God to do what He has promised.
Your triumph in God is a given. Your promised victory should give you courage and confidence in the battles you face and fight in everyday life. The confidence in God’s promise of courage is what you are asking in prayer for your husband—a courage that comes from remembering and acknowledging the character of God. The saying is true: “You behave how you believe.” If your husband believes in an all-powerful and a promise-keeping God, then he will have the courage to act on those beliefs. That’s what you, dear wife, are praying for!
Reason #2: Courage multiplies with the knowledge of God’s presence—“… for the LORD your God is with you.” Log this well: God promised to be with Joshua. This is the third time God told His man, “Be strong and of good courage.” And then the Lord added, “Do not be afraid, nor be dismayed.” Why? “For the Lord your God is with you” (Joshua 1:9).
I’m sure your husband faces plenty of difficult situations, or maybe he is currently enduring an illness or injury. Or maybe he’s preparing to attend a tough meeting at work or is involved in completing a rigorous, demanding commitment and he needs to hang in there and be brave. Or maybe he’s giving a speech or teaching a lesson at church or a Bible study. All of these are situations where courage is needed. And so you pray!
I’m sure you can relate to some of these stressful situations as well. Everyone’s been in a place where they needed to be brave and do well or make it through to the end. We all must at times be courageous. And so we pray!
I’m also sure you know how encouraging it is when you are nearby to cheer your husband on. Your support—and the knowledge you are praying—can provide the stimulus for him to do his best. Your very presence gives him extra courage to do the right thing.
Well, it’s even more motivating for your husband to know that God is always nearby—right there with him, whether you are or not—no matter what happens and no matter where he goes. This was the secret to Joshua’s courage. And it should be the secret to your husband’s courage too as he makes his way through each and every challenge. Are you grasping how important it is to be praying for your husband to understand that God is with him?
Here’s another thought about God’s presence: One secret to having courage is realizing that fear is natural, but the presence of God right beside you, all the time, is supernatural. When you recall this truth, you have successfully begun to fight your fears and gain the strength and courage needed for the tasks—and challenges—the Lord brings your way. Strength is yours whenever you remember Jesus promised, “I am with you always, even to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20), and “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5).
Reason #3: Courage expands with God’s guidance—“your God is with you wherever you go.” Maybe Joshua was still wavering and wondering. Maybe he wasn’t quite sure he wanted the job or could handle it. I’m sure your husband can relate! But whatever was going through Joshua’s mind, God told him again, for the second time, “Be strong and very courageous” (Joshua 1:7). In essence, God coached his tentative handpicked man, “Take even more courage, Joshua!”
Why, Lord?
Because I am with you wherever you go!
God was saying, “Joshua, I will guide you by My very presence. I will be your battle plan and I will guide you to success! And I am giving you all the strength you will need to pull it off, to make it happen—to be successful.”
God gave His man Joshua guidance, and He can give guidance to your man too. How? Today, God guides through His Word. So, as God cautioned Joshua, “Do according to all the law which Moses My servant commanded you” (verse 7). This is why you are praying for your husband to spend time reading the Bible, so he can do according to what he reads in it.
My husband Jim once told me about a championship football team that was defeated by a weaker team. It didn’t matter what play was run—the opponent seemed to know exactly how to defend against the play. The coaches on the stronger team were baffled as they tried to make sense of their loss. Then, sometime later, the mystery was solved: The opposing team had somehow obtained one of their team’s playbooks. The stolen playbook gave the opposing team a guide to victory. They knew every play the other team might possibly attempt.
God knows all of Satan’s plays, his entire bag of “tricks.” And God has given your husband a playbook as well—the Bible. Whatever Satan may throw at your husband, however he may tempt your guy, the Bible has a defense. Being armed with the knowledge from God’s playbook means your husband can make a strong, successful defense against fear and the flaming missiles of the evil one (Ephesians 6:16).
My praying friend and fellow devoted wife, purpose to pray for your husband to follow God’s advice to Joshua. Pray he doesn’t get distracted, take his eyes off of Jesus, and lose courage. That’s what Peter did as he was miraculously walking on the water toward Jesus—he focused on the waves rather than on Christ and began to sink (see Matthew 14:29-30). Pray that your husband does not turn to the right or to the left, but stays focused on God and His playbook for his life. Then he will have good success… wherever he goes (see Joshua 1:8-9).
A Profile of Courage
In his 1955 Pulitzer Prize-winning book Profiles in Courage, the late president John F. Kennedy chronicled the life stories of eight US senators. He described and outlined how these men endured the pressures of public office—the risks to their careers, popularity with the people, defamation of their character—all with great courage.2
I understand that the word and act of profiling is not politically correct, and that profiling can be abused and cause great harm. The dictionary defines profiling as simply developing a list of characteristics that represent someone or something. So it is what we do with such a list that causes problems for some people. But if we develop a list of characteristics for, in our case, the quality of courage, what does courage look like so we know how to pray for its presence in our husbands?
Courage starts in the heart—Courage is not an instantaneous emotion or automatic response. The starting point for your husband’s courage is his heart. Courage has a heartfelt cause. Joshua’s cause was the conquest of the Promised Land. You are praying for your husband to develop a heart for God. If he believes strongly in something, like his faith, that faith will fan the flame of his courage. “As he thinks in his heart, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7).
Courage takes risks—Taking risks seems to be the common denominator of courageous people. I’m not talking about foolish, daredevil kinds of risks. I’m talking about risks of faith and conviction! The women who remained with Jesus at the cross took risks. So did Abraham when he left his home to travel to a strange land just because God told him to.
Missionaries also take risks. Our friends Tim and Nancy were literally “helicoptered out” of Liberia with only the clothes on their backs. They were allowed to take one thing only—and they each took one of their two children on their backs. What did they do after such an ordeal? Go home to safety? Write a letter of resignation to their mission organization? Take a long furlough? No, they courageously took the risk and went to another mission field and started over. Courage is not timid. Pray that your husband will boldly take risks to do whatever is right!
Courage attempts the impossible—It doesn’t take much courage to do the ordinary. Doing the routine is simply doing your duty. But attempting the impossible takes audacity—or chutzpah. For example, what Nehemiah was considering was impossible. After all, for at least 90 years, many others had failed to rebuild the walls around Jerusalem and reestablish the city of God. Yet under Nehemiah’s courageous, faith-filled leadership, the wall was rebuilt—in only 52 days! The next time your husband needs a dose of courage, remind him of how God helped Nehemiah. Doing what is right and what is God’s will is always possible—with courage.
Courage takes a stand—Together, you and your husband spend your whole married life building your reputations and social position. Your reputations are important, as well they should be! But would you be willing to lose all that you’ve worked for if it meant standing up and showing your loyalty to Jesus Christ?
Today, many people treat the Bible and Jesus with contempt. Now is the time to step forward and give testimony to what Christ has done for you, individually and as a couple. Now is the time to be courageous and stand and be counted as followers of Jesus Christ. Hopefully others will stand alongside the two of you. But even if you must stand alone, you are not alone. Jesus Himself is with you!
Courage does the right thing—Courage never goes out of date. That’s because it is always the right time to make the right choices. And it’s no surprise that right choices are usually difficult choices. Courage does the right thing, which is the biblical thing. And courage does it even at the risk of being criticized or labeled as “politically incorrect.” A strong prayer life, even if you are the only one praying, will guide you as you and your husband seek to do the right thing.
God Is Looking for Men and Women of Courage
God is looking for men and women to fight moral, physical, political, and spiritual battles. He is looking for those who possess the spiritual courage to trust Him and take their faith in Him into the battles of daily life. He is looking for individuals and couples who possess the courage to
stand up for Christ in public, at work, and at home;
model godly character to others;
guide your family out of worldliness and into godliness; and
live a consistent life for Christ, regardless of the cost.
Can God count on you? I know you can’t answer for your husband, but you can answer for yourself and pray that if not today, someday soon your husband will join you in God’s circle of courage. It’s okay if you don’t feel very courageous, and your husband is not quite there either. There is no shame in that. All the giants of the faith, like Abraham, Joshua, and Nehemiah, had times when they faltered, but they did not fall. Enjoy and share with your husband these few steps that will strengthen your courage as a couple.
1. You can always draw strength, power, and resolve from God’s character, God’s Word, and God’s presence (Joshua 1:8-9).
2. You should determine your standards. Know what you believe, and why. Courage emerges once you are willing to fight for those standards.
3. Your courage needs to be tested. Don’t be afraid to stretch yourself. Courage comes as you consistently overcome hurdles, which makes you stronger for the next test of courage.
4. You will find yourself encouraged when you remember that God is with you. He’s there—always right there with you—to help you fight your battles whenever and wherever they are fought. Be strong and courageous! “If God is with us and we’re with Him, we have nothing to fear.”3
A Prayer to Pray from the Heart of Peter
1 Peter 5:10
May the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus… perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.