“What is it like dating in quarantine? Is a hazmat suit comfortable? Where will you go on your first real date?” Kelsey is reading me questions from the Ask Me Anything thing on Reddit.

“Ohhh, here’s a good one!” Kelsey looks at me coyly. “What is it like dating someone you can’t kiss?”

I’m taking a sip of water and I choke when I hear the word kiss.

“I’m going to say it will be worth the wait,” Kelsey says, looking out the window dreamily. She looks back at me. “Right, Oliver? What are you going to say?”

I have a girlfriend, I have a girlfriend, I have a girlfriend, I think. My girlfriend is Kelsey, my girlfriend is Kelsey, my girlfriend is Kelsey.

Once again, I try to think about the Kelsey from Prospect Park, ice-skating in front of me, the way she looked into my eyes, helped me skate. All the times over the last few years when we had math class together, the feeling I’d get in my stomach every time she walked into the classroom, the feeling every time she’d look anywhere even close to my direction.

But the snow has melted, and that version of her seems further and further away, less and less like the Kelsey beside me.

I never actually asked her to be my girlfriend, and she never actually asked me to be her boyfriend. It’s weird how we are just suddenly dating.

Does this mean I want to break up with her? How do you break up with someone you never really asked to be your girlfriend in the first place? I’ve never even had the courage to ask a girl out on a date, much less be my girlfriend, and now, somehow, I might have to break up with someone. Maybe. What would I even say? I wish I could ask Flora.

Plus, airline tickets are expensive. And she’s risking her own health to take care of me. Things she likes to remind me of. But for good reason.

I wish again that Flora was awake for longer, was in the same room. She and I were still only a few chapters into the girl handbook, and I already need to know how the epilogue goes.

I look at Kelsey again, her hair hanging a bit in her face, and I’m reminded of how I wanted to brush Flora’s hair away from her face, and the thought makes me smile. Kelsey looks up at me, sees me smiling, and her eyes light up.

“You’ve just helped me figure out how to answer one of the questions!”

“I have?”

“Yeah. What’s your favorite thing about dating Oliver? His smile. It’s contagious,” she says with a wink.

Again, I have nothing clever to say right away. Everything I’m thinking feels too awkward to say out loud.

But Kelsey’s head is down again, and she’s looking at her phone.

“Um, yours too.” She doesn’t hear me. “Yours too!” I say louder.

“Mine too what?” Kelsey looks up, confused.

“Your smile. It’s contagious too.”

Her eyes light up again. “He’s sweet. That’s my other favorite part of dating Oliver.”

“You too,” I say. Once again, she doesn’t hear me, but this time I don’t bother repeating myself.