BY THE TIME they came back to Kai’s apartment, they were both so hungry they more or less inhaled their dinner. Now they were half splayed out on the floor with pillows behind their backs, arms and legs wrapped around each other, classical rock playing softly in the background. The apartment was a studio, not very large, with the living room and bedroom combined, and that was okay. All Luca cared was that they could be together; all that mattered was the person beside him.
“That was good. I’m so stuffed right now; I don’t think I’ll be able to eat again for a week.” Luca grinned, letting his muscles tense up as he stretched before relaxing back against Kai’s warm body.
“You say that now. But in a few hours, you’ll be asking, ‘are there any leftovers, I’m feeling hungry.’” They both chuckled, knowing it was true.
“Do you want to turn on the TV and see if there’s a movie playing? I’m pretty sure it’s on the movie channel?” Kai said, rubbing his nose over Luca’s hair, breathing him in.
“No. I’m fine.” Luca shook his head, turning his face toward Kai so their eyes met, smiling shyly. “I like this, just us, the music…touching you. It’s peaceful and…romantic.” He gave Kai a crooked, shy smile.
They were alone and the anticipation of what was to come had them both squirming. The tension in the air was thick enough that you could cut it with a knife, and Luca was sure he heard it crackling like a fire getting a fresh new log tossed on it. He reached out, sliding his fingers down Kai’s arm with a featherlight touch. The tip of his fingers seemed to sizzle like the air around them had been doing a second ago.
Luca could see and feel the effect his touch had on Kai. His body tensed and relaxed, the muscles rippled under his touch, and Kai’s breath became heavier as did his own. He loved how, with a simple touch, he could get Kai’s breath to hitch. It made him feel like could do anything as he continued his exploration of Kai’s body.
Luca couldn’t deny he was nervous. Not only was this his first time doing anything with a guy, aside from the kisses and crazy making-out touches, and that one mutual hand job they’d shared; but he’d never had sex with anyone. He was a virgin through and through, it made him swallow hard before nervously lowering his gaze, not wanting Kai to see the hesitation in his eyes. What would he think? Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all but, God, did he want it. He needed to know how it felt to be with someone your heart desired—convinced it was the only time he’d ever feel like this.
“Hey, what happened, where did you go?” Kai tilted Luca’s face up with his finger, forcing him to look at him. Luca’s cheeks heated, but he lifted his gaze to meet Kai’s. “Tell me, baby, what’s wrong? We can stop if you want to. We don’t have to do anything you’re not ready to do, Luca,” Kai said gently, brushing his fingertips over Luca’s already sensitized skin.
“No, no…I…I don’t want to stop.” He got up on his knees, sliding over the soft rug and eased between Kai’s legs, placing each hand on his thighs, moving them back and forth. “I want this; I want you…but what if I’m no good? I mean, I’ve never done it…at all…” He stopped, not knowing what to say. He felt stupid.
Kai leaned in, brushing his lips against Luca, pulling him up against him, forcing Luca to straddle his lap and place his knees either side of him.
“Luca, you couldn’t do anything wrong, feel and let yourself do what feels right. Imagine what feels good, and that’s what it will be. What you’re doing right now feels really good.”
He leaned in, claiming Luca’s lips with his own, not giving him a chance to argue, only to feel. Luca gave in to the sensation of Kai’s mouth moving over his, letting him lead. Kai took his time exploring his lips with his tongue, tracing them, tasting, and then letting Luca do the same, mimicking his moves. He nipped at his bottom lip, his tongue sliding against Luca’s lips until they parted enough for their tongues to meet. At first Luca was hesitant, almost pulling back.
But as Kai kept exploring, relaxing, humming at the light touches of his hands, even Luca scooted farther up into his lap so their chests pressed against each other. The rhythmic drumming of their hearts beat against each other’s as the heat between them increased.
IT FELT SO good, being this close to Luca, to feel his body pressed against his with nothing to stop them from exploring each other. There was a soft warning voice in the back of his head. Was he pushing too much, too soon? Should he be the one to stop it, before it got out of hand? But as the questions took speed in his head, Luca lapped against his skin, licking, kissing. As soon as he started sucking gently on his neck, all caution flew out the window. With his hands on Luca’s waist, he pushed him down and bucked his hips up to grind against Luca’s ass. There was nothing now that could make him give up this moment with his Luca. He was going to bust out of his jeans or cream them, whichever came first.
With one hand still on Luca’s hip, he rubbed his other hand over the bulge in his pants, sliding his hand over, massaging Luca’s hard shaft through his jeans. His blue eyes flashed with lightning heat, mouth falling open in a silent gasp at the simple touch. Imagine what he’d look like with Kai’s hand wrapped around his length, stroking him from tip to root. He groaned at the thought and, if it was possible, grew even harder himself.
Luca’s head fell back with a moan as he started rocking his hips into Kai’s touch, needing more. Kai took every opportunity to run his free hand up Luca’s side, bringing his shirt with him, managing to pull it up with one hand and shed it with some help from Luca.
Still rubbing his hand over Luca’s groin, he kissed his way up his bare chest, tasting the soft sculpted body, breathing in the magnificent scent that was purely Luca. As he reached the sensitive spot between his neck and shoulder, he scraped his teeth along the line of his neck, making Luca press closer to him.
“OH…KAI, S’GOOD. Need more, touch me, please.” The pressure building up inside Luca made him feel like he was going to explode. He barely knew what he was asking or what he needed. He only knew he wanted more, everything he was feeling was huge. There was too much and too little, all at the same time. God, he wanted skin, he needed Kai’s warm and very naked skin underneath his fingers. He wanted to drive Kai as mad as he was making him. It was all crazy making, wonderful, and completely and utterly unhinged. There was nothing in his past memories that could measure up to what he was feeling at this moment. His body was on fire but the burn wasn’t painful, it was delicately wonderful.
Cupping Kai’s face in his hands, he dove in to a deep, hungry, messy kiss. The sound of their lips colliding seemed to echo in the room, bouncing off the walls, together with their grunts and moans. Luca wanted to taste every part of him, not only his lips but his neck, his chest. He ran his hands down over his collarbone to the ripped pecs, finding the hard little nubs hiding in a lovely carpet of soft brown chest hair.
He didn’t understand where the emotions were coming from but it was all so huge. So big, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to fit it all inside him. He wanted to devour Kai like he was the best kind of dessert till he withered in his hands. Luca eagerly tore at Kai’s shirt and flinched at the ripping sound as he tried pulling it over his head. In the process, he tumbled over, ending up lying across Kai’s body.
“Whoops. My bad.” Luca chuckled, feeling high on love.
“You can say that again, but I’m not complaining. I love seeing you this eager.”
Kai gave him a grin of his own, and tipped his head to the side as if he was studying Luca as he lay on top of him. Heated glances were exchanged, their hands moving in tandem over each other’s bodies like they couldn’t get enough.
Luca heard the small reminder of Kai’s voice telling him to let go and feel—so he did. He slid his hands up over Kai’s arms to follow the curve of those muscles. The temptation to taste them was a test of resistance; instead, he traced the lovely bumps of his arms. When Luca let them go to move down his body, Kai stretched his arms over his head.
Luca stopped moving, watching the feast before him, licking his lips. His prick pushed hard at his jeans, wanting out to rub against all that glorious tanned skin. Luca leaned over Kai, pressing their lips together in a hungry, sloppy kiss. Would he ever get tired of kissing Kai? What would he do when he no longer could?
He focused on his heart drumming in his ears, all his blood had left his head and was located in his crotch. Luca could no longer resist the urge to move his hips, rocking them in a steady rhythm, rubbing their denim-covered pricks together. He wanted to be loose and free from his clothes. Kai’s lips were red and swollen after their kiss, his eyes hungry for more. Luca was sure he had the same, almost wild, look and he was fine with that, for he was free. He’d never been this liberated and he was savoring every second of this moment. Come what may.
Luca smiled as he leaned in to nibble at Kai’s neck as he slowly moved down, tasting every bit of skin he encountered. Kai arched his back and moaned loudly when he flicked his tongue over his nipples, first one, then the other.
When Luca’s lips and chin hit the hard fabric of Kai’s jeans, he only hesitated momentarily before reaching for the button to unzip his pants, slowly. His eyes stayed on target, watching as the thick cotton-covered bulge popped free from the confinement of his jeans. Luca couldn’t help licking his lips in anticipation, he really didn’t know what to expect. It wasn’t like he’d never seen a naked man before. But, it was different—a naked man in a locker room and seeing one like this, displayed in front of him, for his pleasure, was something completely alien.
His hands shook as Kai’s dick twitched like it was fully aware of Luca staring, anticipating, needing, wanting, and being scared out of his goddamn mind.
“Luca…” He looked up, staring into Kai’s warm brown eyes.
“No. I want to.” It was all he said before he pulled Kai’s jeans and boxers down over his legs. Beautiful and hard, he lay naked before him, his cock curving up toward his navel. Luca was so taken with the sight of him; he leaned back on his heels between Kai’s legs, then bent and cupped the round fuzzy balls, letting the smooth orbs roll between his fingers in the gentlest of touches. Oh God, the feel of them, it’s like nothing I’ve ever touched before! It was so good, it was almost like he could feel the touch himself.
Glancing up to see Kai’s reaction, his lips were parted, tongue flicking out, and running over his lips, his eyes half closed. He was breathing heavily. He did it over and over, until Kai gasped, groaning loudly.
“Jesus, Luca…you’re killing me here.” His back arched like a bow before relaxing back down.
“I want…” He cleared his throat, cheeks flushed from heat and the shyness of asking, but he had to. “Kai, I want to taste you, can I taste you?”
“Please…” He begged, reaching for him.
Luca scooted back until he was lying flat on his stomach, Kai’s hand landing on the back of his neck and shoulder. For a moment, Luca was so nervous, he almost froze when Kai’s warm hand petted his head, pushing him to lean his cheek against Kai’s thigh. So, he did and closed his eyes. For a minute, that’s how they lay, Kai displayed naked—cock hard and aching for him—his own hard-on pressing into the floor and feeling like granite.
A million thoughts ran through his head—how good it felt to touch another man, how amazing it felt to caress Kai this freely. The feeling of strong confidence in seeing him aroused like this and that he had caused it was such a turn on. Luca wondered what he would taste and smell like. He placed his hands on either side of Kai’s legs, supporting his weight so he could kiss his lower abdomen over his hip and down the inside of his thigh. He closed his eyes before burying his nose in Kai’s groin, inhaling deeply, filling his lungs with the wonderful smell of Kai’s sex, feeling his own dick jump at the scent of his lover.
The images of what he wanted to do to Kai’s body played like an erotic movie in his head, making him rub his cheek against his prick and letting his mind guide him. God, he smelled so good. Soap, musk, and what Luca could only assume was Kai’s own personal smell—it was heavenly. Luca kissed the inside of Kai’s thigh again, trailing up to his other hip. Kai let out a disappointed groan when Luca bypassed his cock.
“Tease.” Kai grinned and Luca gifted him with a sexy smile. Luca wanted to taste Kai so badly, it took every ounce of willpower he had not to take that perfectly bobbing cock into his mouth. He didn’t because he was scared; scared of not doing it right. Luca had never given a blowjob in his life. How would he know what to do?
He kept watching Kai through his eyelashes as he slowly crawled up his other leg, kissing, licking, and nibbling on every part of his flesh, enjoying all the small sounds Kai made when he stroked sensitive skin with his tongue. When Luca once more, out of nervousness, kissed the side of Kai’s shaft, but never fully licked or sucked him into his mouth, Luca felt Kai’s hand on his head, guiding him toward the tip of his cock.
“Don’t be a tease, Luca, please, suck me!”
Kai’s cock brushed against his cheek as his face came as close as it could get without actually taking him in his mouth. He lost his own inner battle, not caring if he was good or bad, he wanted Kai in his mouth. Luca ran his hands up and down Kai’s thighs a few times before taking hold of his shaft and giving it a few good pumps, watching a few drops of precum pearl at the very top. He leaned in, flicking out his tongue to taste those drops, and they moaned in unison. Needing nothing else, Luca sucked the plum-red mushroom head into his mouth. He slowly pushed his mouth over Kai’s cock, taking in half his length before pulling away.
KAI’S HAND FOUND its way to Luca’s shoulder, squeezing as he ran the other through his hair, holding his hand at the back of his head. He didn’t push or force, he only wanted to show Luca he was there, because he needed the connection.
Oh God, if felt so good! How long had it been since he’d gotten a blowjob? A long-ass time, and he’d never had one like this. Yes, Luca’s touch was slightly unsure, his technique not refined but it still felt amazing. He didn’t need anything else but what he was getting. Luca’s warm mouth wrapped around him was almost enough to set him off. Luca held on by gripping his hips as he bobbed his head up and down on his shaft. He was taking more and more of his cock in, getting eager, until he gagged when he took too much, too fast, and had to pull off, letting Kai’s cock rest on his cheekbones.
“Feels so good, Luca. Mmm… Don’t be shy, you’re doing great. Trust me. Look at me.” He chuckled; he was rock hard and aching. The thing he wanted to do to Luca was from pure hunger and from being turned on beyond what he could take.
“Yeah? You really think so?”
“I really do.” Pushing up on his forearms, Kai kissed Luca lazily. His head spun from the lack of oxygen as their lips parted. Luca was back to teasing, licking, and nibbling, driving him insane with his mouth and tongue.
His hands explored on their own, touching his balls and cock, exploring every vein, bump, and texture. Kai was trying to be patient, knowing it was Luca’s first time, so he lay there watching as Luca feasted on his body. He watched his tongue circle his nipples and suck them into his mouth. Unable to keep his eyes open, Kai’s eyelids fluttered closed, his back arching into the touch.
The second Luca’s face nuzzled his groin, he had to bite his lip, breathing deeply not to come on the spot. It had been a while since he’d been with anyone. Not that he’d had many lovers but he wasn’t a virgin. First time or not, this was beyond any experience he’d ever had.
He held his breath as Luca’s lips barely brushed the sensitive skin next to his throbbing cock. His hands reached out to tangle themselves in Luca’s hair, guiding his mouth back to his shaft. He slowly rubbed his cock on the side of Luca’s face, asking for entrance to the warm, wet mouth and, when Luca’s mouth finally took him in, his eyes rolled into the back of his head with bliss.
He let his head fall back as he slowly moved his hips to the rhythm of Luca’s bobbing head; the sensation of slowly getting to bury his cock into the heat of Luca’s mouth was beyond amazing. Kai tried to not thrust too hard, he didn’t want to make him gag and give him a bad experience. He wanted Luca to feel as if he was in charge and setting the pace. But, as his tongue once more swept over the tip of his cock and he sucked hard on the head, hollowing Luca’s cheeks, Kai’s body moved on its own and thrust deeply into Luca’s mouth, his back arching with pleasure as he moaned in agreement.
Kai forced his eyes open to look down the line of his body, watching his prick disappear and reappear from Luca’s mouth, finding it so erotic he almost had to stop watching. He nudged Luca’s shoulder, forcing Luca to look up, letting his rock hard cock plop from his plump lips.
“What’s wrong?” Luca looked so worried, his lips warm-red and swollen from sucking him. God, he was so sexy.
“Nothing. Nothing. Come here. I want to kiss you.” He pulled at Luca’s arm, making him half slide across his body, leaving a wet trail of kisses along his pecs and neck as he went.
With eager hands, Kai unbuttoned Luca’s jeans, pushing at them and his underwear with his hands, tugging them down his ass and legs until they caught right above his knees. Not caring about it, Kai rocked up into him sliding his cock against Luca’s. “I want us to come like this, cock to cock, rubbing together. I want to see your face, to look into your eyes.”
All of a sudden, doing that, connecting with his lover, was more important than anything else, even getting off. The room echoed with both of the lust-filled sounds they made as their bodies touched from head to toe, rubbing hard together. Kai cupped Luca’s face in his hands and hungrily started eating at his lips. Luca was quick to follow, eagerly returning the lustful kisses. Luca’s hands raced all over his body, touching him everywhere, like he was unable to get enough of the feel of him under his hands.
Kai slipped his tongue in and out of Luca’s lips, fucking his mouth in the same rhythm as their hips moved. His hands ran down Luca’s ass, massaging the sweet bud between his cheeks. Luca threw his head back in a silent cry as his climax suddenly ripped through him and he came, spilling his seed between them, making the next few thrusts an easy slide.
Watching Luca climax, Kai let the fantastic sight push him over the edge, adding to their lovemaking, gripping Luca’s ass, pushing against him, shuddering hard as he came. With a happy grunt and tight grip on Luca’s butt cheeks, Kai rocked himself to completion, mixing his seed with Luca’s between their bodies.
For what seemed like forever, neither of them moved. Luca’s head was on his shoulder, his body still on top of Kai’s and he wanted it no other way. Wrapping his arms around Luca, he held him as tightly as he could without hurting him or making him uncomfortable. He knew they had to get up eventually and shower, or at least wash off, but for now he was content and moving was not on the to-do list. Still holding Luca, he rolled them to the side, letting him rest his head on his arm, their eyes meeting in a warm gaze. Luca’s eyes were shining and those wonderful, plump lips smiled sweetly.
“That was…wow…that was amazing. How I will ever be able to go back to jacking off, I don’t know,” Luca said, grinning as he slid a hand over his neck and shoulders, making Kai’s skin break out in goose bumps.
“Maybe…you’ll never have to,” Kai said. His lips against Luca’s, Kai playfully rubbed his nose against his before they kissed deeply without speaking another word.
It was still dark when Luca woke up with a violent jerk. For a second, he was disoriented, wondering where the hell he was until he felt the warm body pressing up against him. He smiled, letting his eyes stay closed as he enjoyed the warmth of Kai sleeping soundly behind him, holding him tightly against his naked body for a moment longer. Luca turned his head a little and looked at him from the corner of his eye. God, he was such a gorgeous specimen and the way he was touching him, holding him protectively, made Luca feel so special.
Brushing his fingers over the sleeping face, Luca thought, God I love you, you’re so perfect. Luca abruptly turned his head away, his cheeks rapidly turning hot and red, as a chill ran through his body.
No. No he couldn’t, not love…no…
It wouldn’t be fair, not to him, nor Kai. It could never be. What had he done? What would his parents say? They couldn’t find out. That would be the end of this, the end of them, the end of life as he knew it. If his father found out about Kai, he wasn’t sure what he’d do.
Love was not on the cards for them and yet, here he was, in love with his best friend.
Panic surged up in his body, and he had to get out. Now.
He squirmed his way out of Kai’s grip, careful not to wake him. Luca didn’t dare turn around to look at Kai as he crawled across the floor looking for his clothes and other belongings. He had to get out and away. He couldn’t do this, he had to somehow erase this last part from his memory. It wasn’t fair, not to Kai. He couldn’t do this to him, what if he ended up falling in love with him, too? The pain.
No, he had to save him from that. For him it was different, he’d never forget. Kai would be the memory to last him a lifetime.
Luca didn’t think, he only acted.
In sheer terror and guilt, he buried the beautiful experience he’d shared with Kai deep down inside himself. If he only got out of the apartment and away from Kai, all would be forgotten, nothing would happen. He could run home, sneak in, and no one would ever have to know.
He got dressed hurriedly, barely getting his shoes on his feet before he was out the door. His heart raced and his palms were sweaty, he needed air. He started to run down the stairs, he couldn’t get away fast enough. Luca fell out the door and ended up on the sidewalk, shattered and confused. Tears fell down his face without him noticing. He started down the street with fast steps to put as much distance as he could between himself and that apartment. He had to get away.
He dried his face with the back of his hand and, the farther he got away, the less anxious he felt. Everything was going to be okay now. The words ran together. He repeated the words until he convinced himself that was the case. No one would ever know and later he’d explain to Kai why he’d left and Kai would understand. He always understood and everything would go back to normal.
* * * * *