Not Now, Nigel

Not now, Nigel,

It’s only half-past eight.

The school’s not really open –

Your request will have to wait.

Not now, Nigel,

The register is due;

Some dinner-money’s missing,

And I’ve got a headache too.

Not now, Nigel,

Can’t you see I’m on my knees?

We’re trying to find the hamster

(And I think I’m going to sneeze).

Not now, Nigel,

I’d like to hear your news,

But Alice isn’t well –

She’s just been sick all on my shoes.

Not now, Nigel,

Claire’s bent her violin,

I ought to take a tablet

(And I need a double gin).

Not here, Nigel,

The staffroom’s meant for us;

Your place is in the playground

(Or underneath a bus).

Not now, Nigel,

I still feel quite unwell;

And, furthermore, it’s home time –

Off you go (saved by the bell).

Not… now, Nigel,

Though it’s nice of you to call.

I’d love to ask you in

But there’s a wolf-hound in the hall.

Not… now… Nigel,

It’s really time for bed.

My temperature is rising –

There’s a drum inside my head.

Tomorrow I’ll feel better –

Tomorrow, wait and see.

But not now, Nigel.

The nights belong to me!

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