“Just stay here. Just stay in here, Jack, sweetie. OK?”
Jack’s mum’s face was tight and drawn as she pulled the door closed behind her. Susanna heard the snick as the door locked, then Jack’s mum’s footsteps pattering on the wooden floor as she rushed away.
Susanna watched Jack’s hand reach out and trying the doorknob, rattling it when it refused to give on the first attempt.
“Mum!” he hollered. “Mum!”
He sounded different, she realised. It wasn’t just the fear and panic making his voice high like that, this was a much younger Jack. The wallpaper surrounding the door wasn’t the cool grey she’d seen during her stay, but sky-blue, with an aeroplane pattern. Susanna was dimly aware of toys littering the carpeted floor nearby, but it was hard to concentrate on anything other than the terror and desperation that led Jack to twist and rattle and yank at the doorknob that wasn’t going to budge.
“Mum!” he yelled again.
Jack fell silent and stopped trying to get the door open, instead pressing himself close to it and listening, hard. Muffled, as if coming from several doors away, Susanna could just make out a voice shouting. It was a man’s voice, and though the words were lost, the angry tone wasn’t.
A sharp bang was followed by a woman’s scream, quickly cut off.
“Mum!” Jack pulled away from the door and started kicking at it.
Thump! Thump! Thump!
Susanna felt the jolt rattle up her knee but Jack didn’t stop, kicking it again and again. The Jack Susanna knew today would have turned the door into a pile of useless splinters, but the Jack in the memory had only a child’s strength and no matter how hard or how many times he threw himself against it, it wouldn’t budge.
Eventually admitting defeat, Jack dropped to the floor, leaned against the door, and wept.
“Susanna! Susanna, come on, it’s just a dream. Wake up!” A hand shook her shoulder with enough force to rattle her teeth and Susanna jolted into consciousness.
“What?” she said stupidly. “Jack?”
“I’m here.” The hand that had been on her shoulder wrapped around her to draw her into a hug and Susanna found herself sagging into Jack’s chest. Instinctively, she inched her arm around his back, trying to still the little tremors still wracking her frame.
All too quickly, Jack shifted away, and a moment later the muted glow for the hearth intensified as he poked and prodded at the logs, making fresh flames dance there. Susanna grimaced, watching him butcher her carefully arranged tepee structure, but she knew he was giving her a moment of privacy to get herself together, so she didn’t complain.
“I’m sorry,” she said, embarrassed. “I don’t know why this keeps happening.”
“Another memory?” Jack asked.
“Yeah.”
“What was it about?” Jack turned back to her but the fire threw him into silhouette and she couldn’t see his face.
“I… nothing. Just a soul I lost. An old woman.”
There was no way she was admitting that the memory she’d relived this time hadn’t been her own, but one of Jack’s. He’d want to know which one, and she knew with absolute certainty that he would die before he’d voluntarily agree to her witnessing what she had.
Carrying the memories of her souls was nothing new to Susanna – it had happened with every soul she’d ever ferried – but it was different, now, with Jack. She knew him, and her heart broke to witness the things he’d endured in his too-short life.
“You were shouting ‘Mum’,” Jack told her, suspicion lingering in his words.
Susanna didn’t miss a beat. “That was the role I was playing. I pretended to be her daughter.”
“You seemed pretty upset.”
Susanna couldn’t deny that. Jack’s pain and helplessness still tore at her, and she was struggling to keep her emotions in check.
“Yeah, well,” she said quietly. “Some souls, they get to you.”
Jack didn’t reply. He stayed by the fire, staring into the flames.
“I’m going to keep my promise to you, Jack,” Susanna whispered, quietly enough that he might not have heard her. He didn’t react if he did. “I will. I’ll get you there.”