I smile at Lils as she brushes Heidi’s hair. We still haven’t managed to get all the clay removed from her body, but we’ve done a damn good job of making sure that it doesn’t harden.
I wish there was some way to give her more relief. There has to be a way to get that shit off of her.
I run a hand over my face to hide the sour mood I’ve suddenly fallen into. I don’t want Lils or Heidi to see my obvious shift in demeanor and think that something is the matter.
“Thank you, Lillian. My hair feels very soft now,” Heidi’s voice says, breaking me out of my newly found dour mood.
I glance over and chuckle when Lils gets to her feet and puts her hands on her hips. She’s giving Heidi a critical eye to make sure that she’s done as good a job as she wanted to, then tucks the handle of the brush into the waistband of her jogging pants.
“You did a great job, kid,” I say to her as I enter the room and ruffle her hair.
Lils swats my hand away with a grin on her face, then loops an arm through mine. Because she’s so much smaller than me, I lean to the side to make it easier for her as I slip my hands into my pockets.
“How are you feeling today?” I ask Heidi as I glance over at her.
She nods as she folds her hands in her lap and I smile. She’s been getting better, has been able to do more for herself lately, but we still haven’t been able to get all the damn clay off her body.
Another long day of making sure it doesn’t set, I tell myself as I scratch my chin.
“Um, Lils?” I crouch down and turn the little girl to face me, then wring my arm out of her grip and laugh when she pouts.
“What?” she asks as she pushes her hair out of her face.
“Do you think you can be a big girl for me today and go help Yessy make some lunch for everyone?”
Lils huffs as she straightens out her shoulders, squares them, and walks dutifully toward the cafeteria. My request of her being a big girl today has nothing to do with cooking. I just knew that if I sprinkled that into the conversation, she wouldn’t deny me. Lils prides herself on being an independent big girl and I like to treat her as such.
I lean out of the doorway and watch as she bounds down the hallway, then disappears around a corner. Once I’m sure she won’t come right back, I close the door and lean my back against it as I rub my hands over my face.
“Something on your mind, Colby?” Heidi asks me quietly.
When I look at her and sigh, she shakes her head. She knows that eventually I have to take her back to Pollyx to honor our deal, but I’m having such a hard time reconciling this entire situation.
I’ve got Beverly tucked away safely. She doesn’t know where I live and neither does her father, but it … it doesn’t feel right. I can’t shake the thought that by taking Heidi back to him will it put her in grave danger, and I don’t want that on my conscience.
“I know you said that you want to go home,” I begin slowly as I push away from the door and cross the room. I crouch down in front of her like I did Lils and rest a hand gently on her leg. “But are you sure?”
Heidi gives me a kind, forlorn smile as she nods. She knows that it’s not what I want to hear, and I think she’s trying to make this transition as easy for me as possible.
“What if I don’t take you?” I ask quietly.
“Colby, I want to go home,” she assures me gently. “And whatever comes of that is what’s meant to.”
I let out my breath as I drop onto my ass and turn my attention toward the ceiling. Maybe if I can get them to talk before I take her back to him, it’ll be safer for her.
For all of us, really.
I can’t imagine that Pollyx is going to handle another day or night without his wife very well. Especially since I had promised to deliver her days ago.
“Fuck,” I mutter as I get to my feet and walk toward the bedroom door.
* * *
Walking the perimeter of the treaty line is becoming something of a nasty habit with me lately. The things out there hidden in the trees are snarling at me, trying to goad me across the invisible barrier, but I have a lot more common sense than they like to assume.
Granted, not many do, and that’s why they’ve either been turned into one of them, or worse, but I have an entire building full of people that are counting on me to keep them safe.
I have to stay alive.
I stop walking for a moment, lean down and pick up a small pebble, then continue down the line. With a quick glance toward the trees, I wait patiently until I can see the beastly outline of one, then chuck the pebble across and smile when it bounces off its side. It lets out an enraged howl and suddenly, like a roll of thunder, a pack of them start racing toward the line.
I didn’t even throw it that hard, I think with an eye roll as I continue on my way.
Most people meditate in a quiet place.
I like to take walks in dangerous places. It helps me keep my wits sharp.
I lean down and scoop up another pebble, run a hand back through my hair, and toss the small, smooth stone up in the air, catching it in the palm of my hand.
The things howl and screech. They slam their mutated bodies into the trees, each other, and the invisible barrier, making me shake my head. They can cross anytime they want to. There’s literally nothing stopping them, but every time they get close enough, they rear back and run in the other direction before charging again.
You can fix this, Colby.
I stop walking and close my eyes, wrapping my hand tightly around the pebble as Mom’s words suddenly come back to me. I still don’t know what this is, but there has to be a reason that I’m thinking of what she said to me right at this moment.
I look away for a moment, then back toward the treaty line. I can see them lined up against the perimeter, watching me with their hollow eyes, and rearing up on their feet.
Almost as if to challenge me.
And today … just this once, I’ll accept.