Not even Daddy would’ve done this to me, and he hated me enough to try to get rid of me. Colby’s rage was something close to how the Others act. Mindless and terrifying. I didn’t deserve to be left here broken, not when I spent so much time on making today perfect.
When I first met Colby, I will admit, he intrigued me. His one eye, reminding me of my special dolly, and his sweet nature was so different from the people around me. But he kept inserting himself where he wasn’t wanted, and even though I made my intentions clear, he always ignored me.
So much like Heidi.
She ignored me for most of my life, too. As soon as I blossomed into a beautiful girl, she began to despise me, to envy me. Why? I was her daughter. She should’ve been happy that her rotten genes produced something so beautiful. Instead, she watched me like I was an evil child, wanting to take everything she loved.
So I fucking did.
When I committed myself to becoming everything I saw in my mother’s eyes every time she looked at me, I knew I had to start with Daddy. I knew his devotion to Heidi was impenetrable. The way they persevered for many years to have another child attested to that, but a man is a man, and when you pull them away from civilization, you can pull at the more primal instincts.
I did that to Daddy.
He gave in pretty easily, and it felt dirty, but oh so delicious. The more he had of me, his own daughter, the less he wanted of his wife. It was too bad the love between them didn’t fade, because if it did, Heidi would probably still be alive. She was a threat that needed to be dealt with.
Like little Lillian.
The way that woman-child thing had her claws sunk deep into the man who wanted to be my husband was annoying. I couldn’t even imagine dealing with that my whole life, and he would’ve paid more love and attention to her than our children. I gave them the best of both worlds. She would forever be with her precious daddy, and he would never be tempted to fuck his own daughter.
Men are vile, most have proven that to me.
The blissful numbness fades as I come back to consciousness. The fire between my legs erupts into a scorching inferno, and I scream as it rushes over my body. There’s no way I’ll survive what he’s done to me. I’ll be forever altered if I do.
I reach down to the apex of my thighs and feel the ax handle, the wood sticky with my blood, casting me back to the day I used it on Tanner. She’s laughing from her perch in the sky, I bet. A slight jerk on the wood sends pain skating through me, threatening to pull me back under.
I fight to stay conscious and not to move my legs an inch. I don’t know how I’m going to get out of this, but I don’t have anyone to depend on. Colby is gone and I hope he stays gone. I fear if he comes back, he’ll be tempted to use the sharp part of the ax next. He’s not the brightest, I must admit. He used the wrong end. Even I know how to use an ax.
Maybe he didn’t want me to die as much as he said.
It’s a small mercy he didn’t kill me, even though I wish he had. It makes him weak. I had no trouble killing anyone who stood in my way. If he had the overwhelming urge to be rid of me, then he should’ve had the fucking balls to do it.
Instead, he stuffed the one person he hated with his essence. Even Daddy refrained from doing that because he never wanted a life to grow inside of me. Now, I may swell with a child who belongs to Colby.
The pain increases, making me stiffen my legs, which only makes it worse, and this time, I can’t fight the black abyss as it claims me.
The pain recedes as I sink into a pool of calming energy. I spread out my arms and legs, surprised when I feel no pain. Did I die?
“Beverly Hill,” Canary forms from the darkness, her features twisted into a mask of disdain. “You have a wretched soul, and I refuse to let you die without paying back what you’ve taken.”
“Paying back?” I twist my head at the stupid old woman. “What is the cost for killing?”
“The thought of you getting off that easily makes me sick.” Heidi’s voice floats from behind me, and when I turn, she’s right there with a smirk on her mouth. “You will not receive the comfort of death until you have suffered for it.”
“Bevie.” Daddy appears from the darkness, his face filled with remorse. “You need to go back and make this right. All the evil endured needs a balance. I’m sorry for my part in all of this, but you are the only one now who can save humanity.”
“But first you suffer,” Canary spits out each word.
“You will hate every moment you live, and each day, you will beg for death,” Heidi says, her face a mask of rage.
“Endure it, Bevie. The answer lies within you.” Daddy smiles as sadness radiates from his eyes.
* * *
This time when I come to consciousness, I sit up, feeling the butte end of that ax deep inside me, and with one gut wrenching scream, I rip it out. Daddy said to endure it, that the answer lies within me.
I think I know what he meant.
The only way I can make sure the answer survives is to prevent it from coming out. There’s only one way I know to stop things from dying forever, to ensure it withstands the test of time. Colby may not have appreciated it, and everyone in this stupid village hated it, but it worked.
I know how to create everlasting life.
It takes all of my energy, every ounce of my endurance, to get down the stairs and through the kitchen. When I open the back door, I see the remnants of mine and Colby’s sham wedding, and when I walk by our table, a bit of Heidi remains in the pot.
I stop and rip a bit of the meat off the bone, slipping its cold, coagulated fat into my mouth.
“Mm,” I say loudly, making sure the bitch can hear me. “Tastes like suffering.”
Then I wobble to the shed as blood runs down my thighs in thick rivulets. I’m thankful I brought back some of my clay for little Lillian. I was worried Colby would damage her in some way, so I made sure I had the means to repair her.
Fuck that. She can stay cracked and damaged. I need this clay now.
I open our dilapidated shed and step inside, spying the bucket of sand, then the barrel of water.
“I will suffer in silence because Daddy says I have the answer inside of me. Everyone will know just how much I endured to save it.”
I crawl along the floor and sit in front of the bucket, preparing the clay. The blood hits the floor in loud plops, but I don’t let that deter me. Soon enough it’ll stop.
The clay feels cool against my inflamed skin, and I begin to pack it in tight. The answer won’t be able to escape me until it’s time.
Once it’s done, I fall back to the floor with an anguished cry, the pain still radiating throughout me. I will endure it because I am the last of the Hills and I am the vessel for the cure.