I look back at the Dollywoodland sign and feel a stab to my heart.

Had I not wandered into this godforsaken place, Lils would be alive, I would still be as happy as I could have ever been, and my family wouldn’t wonder why I haven’t come home yet.

Monsters don’t deserve families.

They only deserve the same carnage they wreak on others, the same fate levied against those who never truly deserved it, and the justice doled out to the cruelest.

I had done the latter and thought of myself as a good man for it, but when the reality sank in that I was no better than Beverly, I knew there was only one way out of this.

I push a low-hanging branch out of the way as I walk through the now-silent forest. The Others won’t look at me, and if they do, they’ll do it in hiding.

They’ve never seen me like this before.

Shaking from the leftover rage.

Bloodied from the assault on Beverly.

Broken from losing myself to the horrors of this infected world.

I let them win, I think miserably as I continue walking, the fallen twigs and branches cutting the flesh of my feet. I became the one thing I promised myself I never would.

A moment of weakness broke me.

When I saw Beverly, I began to covet her.

Her touch, her kiss, her presence.

But some devils hide behind the guise of angels, and I became ensnared in her trap. Her lies. Her fucking deceit.

I swat angrily at the tear that rolls down my cheek.

Instead of being the fucking cure for all of this, why couldn’t I find a way to stop it before it all happened?

Mom would be alive, and while we would have still been scavenging for scraps of food, at least I would have been happy. Not this horrible sadness I hide behind a façade of indifference and forced smiles, but genuine happiness.

Something I haven’t felt in so goddamn long.

I take a deep breath as I begin to climb the hill.

The one Mom would sit and tell me about, like a cautionary tale of the consequences that would befall anyone who dared to climb it.

There’s no other way. I’m sorry, Mom.

My feet crush against the hardened dirt as I make my way to the summit. It’s not as high up as she made it out to be in her parables, and it makes me smile.

I think she knew what I would do if it ever came down to it and wanted to scare me away from such an act.

There’s always hope, Colby. Remember that.

I close my eyes and grunt as I slam a fist into the slanting earth just above me and pull myself up.

And when there isn’t hope? What’s left to do?

Save the world in my own special way, I think as grim determination sets in.

I grab onto a large, protruding rock that’s blocking the next bit of earth with both hands. I growl as I pull myself up over it, then continue to claw my way upward. By the time I get to the top of this damn hill, maybe I’ll be too tired to do what needs to be done, though I doubt it.

As I set a foot on the stone to push myself toward the summit, it gives way and I almost lose my balance. One of my arms flails wildly as I struggle to maintain control.

Fuck,” I grunt as I punch the side of the hill, breaking my fist as it collides with the hardened soil, but allowing me to keep myself in place for the moment.

I close my eye, take a few deep breaths to stave the pain off, then open it and somehow manage to yank myself the last few feet to the top. Once there, I sit down and rest. I bring my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around them as a short laugh escapes me.

Below me, I can see The Others now. They’re gathered at the base, looking up at me with curious eyes.

I lay on my back for a moment, cradling my broken fist against my chest. I want to remember what this feels like.

The dirt gently pressing against my flesh.

The cool breeze on top of the mountain that seems to have escaped the disease trying to destroy everything below.

But most importantly, I want to remember what peace feels like.

For the first time in my life, I’ve finally found it, and it’s too fucking late.

I blow out my breath as I pull my eye patch off and toss it to the side.

I’ve seen enough.

Getting to my feet, I press the tips of my fingers into my eye socket and begin to pry out the one thing I always knew could save everyone. The eye that saw more than I ever admitted. The eye that foretold how my tale would end.

The eye that doesn’t deserve to be crushed because I was too much of a fool to take heed.

I feel a gush of blood spurt down my cheek as I finally rip it from the socket after a moment of intense struggle, then toss it to the side.

At least part of me will survive this. I look up at the clear, blue skies that I never knew existed and smile slightly.

How is it possible that I can see so much more now than when I was afflicted with a purpose I never wanted?

Turning away from the edge of the mountain, I walk a few steps backward, then smile as I lower my head and run.

My body will be crushed when I hit the ground below, and it’ll all be over.

But maybe someday, someone more worthy than me will find the cure.

I’m coming, Mom, I think happily as I leap over the side and brace myself as I see the earth quickly coming up to greet me.