‘Mum, Eleanor and I have been talking, and we’ve decided that – now you’ve got the all-clear – we’ll definitely head home on Monday, like Ja… like the doctor suggested.’
Moira crossed her arms and glared at Lily.
‘Don’t look at me like that. I know you don’t want to end this trip early, but you’ve not been well and we think it’s the sensible option.’
Her mother huffed and tipped back her head, staring up at the bedroom ceiling. ‘La-la-la. Not bloody listening to you two fuckety fuckwits!’
‘Granny, you do need to be reasonable,’ Eleanor said. ‘We’re only thinking of what’s best for you – and for Mum as well. This whole business has been pretty stressful for her, you know. She’s been very worried about you.’
Lily turned to stare at Eleanor, her eyes wide with surprise; this was all very strange, she wasn’t used to them being on the same team about anything. Although, interestingly, her daughter had seemed much calmer and more rational than usual over the last day or so. Maybe it was because there was finally an end in sight to her stay in the Lakes.
‘It’s a long drive,’ continued Eleanor. ‘But if we get you on the road first thing on Monday morning, you’ll have time to make as many stops as you need to along the way.’
Moira uncrossed her arms, stuck her fingers in her ears and sang more loudly. ‘La-la-la, tra-la-dee-dum!’
‘Mum! Stop it!’
‘La-la-laaaaaa. Not listening!’
Lily walked across to her mother and took hold of her hands, gently moving them away from her head. ‘I know you don’t want to listen, but you have to. We aren’t going to be able to finish this trip now, but we will do it in the spring, I promise.’ Moira was staring at her, and Lily saw tears glistening at the edges of her eyes. ‘When the weather’s better, we will come back here and we’ll pick up where we left off. We’ll work it all out in advance and we’ll go to Durham and to Yorkshire and to all the other places you had on your list.’
She hoped her words sounded believable to her mother; they didn’t to her. She was absolutely convinced they wouldn’t be able to undertake another trip like this one, however much they planned and prepared. Spring was half a year away, and by that time who knew what sort of state Moira would be in? She was still struggling with her memory, and her temper and unpredictability seemed to be getting worse by the day. The Good Mum/Bad Mum behaviour was never going to go away and Lily doubted that the mother she knew now, would be the same as the one she’d be dealing with in six months’ time. It wasn’t a prospect she wanted to have to think about, but it was always there in the back of her mind and, while she could keep up a pretence with Moira, she wasn’t going to kid herself that whatever lay ahead of them would be easy.
‘But what about finishing my book?’
‘You will be able to finish it! Spring is just around the corner, it’s not long to wait. In the meantime, when we get back home you can spend some time going over all the notes you’ve made on this trip and then you can write them up in detail, so you’re ready to start again.’
‘Bamburgh Castle,’ whispered Moira. ‘Your father and I took you there when you were a year old. We went to Holy Island too. I remember trying to get your pram across the causeway and it was too rocky. In the end your dad went over on his own, and you and I sat on the beach and waited for him.’
‘We’ll go there, definitely,’ Lily said.
‘And the Norfolk Broads, do you remember I told you about that?’
‘Yes, Mum, but that was just a holiday, nothing exciting happened.’
‘Ken fell overboard, that was exciting.’
Lily smiled. ‘Yes, I remember you saying.’
‘Well, he only fell in up to his knees, so I suppose it wasn’t earth-shattering. But I’d still like to go there. It’s all for my book.’
‘No problem, I promise we will go to the Norfolk Broads.’
Moira sat back in the armchair, nodding. ‘That’s good then. That’s all fine. In that case, we’ll do what you want.’
Lily and Eleanor exchanged a quick glance. They hadn’t thought it would be this easy, but, the singing outburst aside, Moira was noticeably less strident than she had been yesterday afternoon. After Jake left, her argument with Eleanor seemed to have exhausted her, and she’d looked pale and shrunken, like a woman who had little fight left in her. Now, she wiped her eyes with her fingers and blew her nose noisily on a paper tissue. ‘That’s good then,’ she repeated.
Lily hated seeing her mother upset, and hated even more that she was the cause of it. But there was no other option, they couldn’t continue with this journey. The relief was overwhelming because taking Moira home against her will would have been awkward and upsetting. At least now, they could all start to plan their return journey properly.
‘There’s just one thing…’ Moira said.
‘What’s that?’
‘There’s somewhere I want to visit, before we leave Keswick.’
‘Where’s that?’
‘The Pencil Museum.’
Eleanor snorted with laughter. ‘The Pencil Museum? What on earth is that?’
‘Don’t be thick, Eleanor,’ said Moira. ‘It’s a museum all about pencils.’
‘Okay, well that’s logical. But, Granny, why do you want to go there?’
‘Because I like pencils.’
‘Who on earth likes pencils?’
‘I do. I like them very much. I have been using pencils to write in my notebook and I like them a great deal more than pens. So, while we’re here, I want to go to the Pencil Museum – which is actually world famous. There’s a leaflet about it over there on the desk, along with something about bird watching – but I don’t want to go and watch any birds.’
Eleanor was standing by the window, arms crossed, shaking her head. ‘I’ve heard it all now. Pencils.’ She looked at Lily. ‘Please don’t tell me we’re really going to do this?’
‘Fine,’ Lily said. ‘If that’s what you want, Mum?’
‘I do.’ Moira nodded so vigorously her whole body shook in the armchair. ‘And I want you both to come with me. I think pencils will be just what the three of us need.’