Mathilda drove along the Scottish coastline, the sky filling with orange and red as she kept an eye in the rearview mirror. It had been days since they last saw the Tweedle brothers. Her eyes began to burn, and she made an aggravated noise, noticing the grey cat hairs stuck to the steering wheel.
“Oh, for God’s sake, Dinah. How many times have I told you not to brush your fur in the front seat?”
A hiss came from the back and Mathilda scowled. Her nose twitched. She tried to hold her breath – then sneezed, her head snapping forward, her eyes closing. The RV swerved, a high-pitched screech came from the back, but Mathilda managed to straighten out.
“Geez, Mathilda. Are you trying to kill us before we find your sister?”
Mathilda sighed. “You know I’m allergic.”
Dinah flopped into the passenger seat. Mathilda eyed the brush she held. Dinah rolled her yellow eyes and put it on the floor, then crossed her paws. “Don’t take your worries out on me. Alice isn’t in the human world. Why don’t we go back to Wonderland?”
Mathilda grasped the steering wheel tighter. “Alice wouldn’t go back. Not when she’s the hero of our story and the only one who can drive the villains back to Wonderland. I swear I’ll find her before the Queen of Hearts does.”
The villains had escaped the other fantasy realms and were causing unnatural disasters as they waged war in the human world. Orcs patrolled cities, the White Witch had frozen half the world, and sea creatures of every kind plagued the oceans. Luckily, none of the gods from the other realms had appeared.
Dinah scratched behind her feline ear. “Wouldn’t Alice have shown up if she knew she could help? All the other heroes are ready to stand up. The Pevensie children, the Hobbits, even all those damn princesses. Alice doesn’t care.”
Mathilda shook her head. “That’s how I know something is wrong. Alice doesn’t let other people figure out problems for her. The Hatter said the Treacle sisters could help.”
Dinah stroked her fuzzy tail. “You’re going to believe that nutter? You know there’s a reason they referred to him as the Mad Hatter, don’t you?”
Mathilda eyed her passenger. “Respect the dead.”
The Queen of Hearts had made good on one of her threats. The Hatter’s hat sat displayed as a trophy outside Buckingham Palace, alongside the countless other possessions from those the Queen had ordered executed. It broke Mathilda’s heart. Dinah clawed against the seat but, rather than reprimand her, Mathilda said nothing. Dinah was as worried about Alice as she was.
A roaring motorcycle obliterated the silence. She glanced in the rearview mirror and Dinah turned in her seat. Nothing appeared on the road.
“Maybe it was just a motorcycle?” Dinah suggested.
Mathilda glanced out the passenger window, and her heart leapt.
“No, it’s them.”
Dinah looked out, her claws carving deep lines in the leather seat. In the dimming light a black motorcycle drove over the ocean’s surface.
“Mathilda,” Dinah whined.
Mathilda slammed her foot down. The RV lurched forward. The motorcycle reached the highway, chasing after them. The highway zigged and zagged and Mathilda was glad there were no other cars. Dinah yowled as she thumped against the window. The motorcycle kept up, and every once in a while a thunk hit the RV.
“They’re throwing oysters,” Dinah said.
If there were enough oysters they might lose a few limbs. The back window smashed. Mathilda peered over her shoulder.
“Dinah! Can you get it?”
Dinah slid down to the floor on all fours, which she normally avoided. While Mathilda drove madly down the highway, Dinah crept toward the oyster. Mathilda remained quiet while Dinah hunted, unable to see what was happening. Dinah landed hard on the floor.
“Shit!”
“What happened?” asked Mathilda.
“Little bugger got away from me.”
Dinah hissed. Mathilda heard clacking and resisted the urge to turn around.
“There’s more oysters,” Dinah announced.
“You have to get them out of here.”
“I’m trying!”
Dinah yowled, hissed, and pounced against the little kitchen’s cupboards. The clacking grew louder. Mathilda tried to focus on the road, and refrained from stopping to help Dinah. She flinched as an oyster shell flew past her face and hit the window before falling empty on the dashboard.
“Are you eating them?”
“No,” Dinah answered in a muffled voice.
Mathilda made a face and gagged.
“What else do you expect me to do with them?” Dinah shouted.
Another empty oyster shell landed in the front seat. A roaring engine caught Mathilda’s attention and she looked out to see the motorcycle driving alongside them. The person in the sidecar waved at her, prompting the dark-skinned Walrus to hit him over the head. Mathilda rolled her eyes, and would have sped off, but the RV was already going as fast as possible.
“I say,” yelled the Walrus, “would you mind terribly pulling over?”
His passenger, the Carpenter, slurped down an oyster. “Yeah. We just wants to talk to ya.”
“Sorry,” Mathilda yelled. “On a bit of a deadline. Can’t stop. We’ll have to catch up another time.”
The Walrus glowered through his goggles. The motorcycle moved closer and rammed them. What did he hope to accomplish? Then Mathilda remembered the motorcycle could drive over water, jump canyons and land safely on the other side. She had discovered that in a disappointing turn of events a few weeks back. The walrus might succeed in running them off the road.
“The time has come,” yelled the Walrus, “to talk of many things: of decapitation and slaughtering, and causing devastation. Of blood and Queens, and whether you have wings to fly from the scene.”
“I liked the original better,” yelled Mathilda.
Oyster shells littered the dashboard and passenger seat. Dinah continued to fight the molluscs in back.
The motorcycle rammed the RV again. Mathilda turned the wheel and struck back. She would not concede defeat.
“The time has come—”
“For you to shut up!” Mathilda shouted.
The Walrus made an abrupt sound and flicked his whiskers from side to side. The Carpenter threw an oyster through the window, which Mathilda dodged. It landed on the seat next to her.
“Dinah,” Mathilda called. “I need your help.”
“I’m a little busy.”
Mathilda kept one eye on the road, and the other on the oyster. The top of the shell began to lift. Constricted by her seatbelt, Mathilda couldn’t reach it. The memory of being bitten made her cringe, and the large scar on her arm served as a reminder. The shell opened and a little face peered up at her. Before the oyster could pounce, Dinah emerged, scooped it up and slurped it down.
Dinah sat down heavily in the passenger seat, straightening her Rolling Stones T-shirt, and cleaned her fur with her paw.
“You haven’t gotten rid of them yet?” Dinah asked.
Mathilda growled. “Do you want to drive?”
“Uh, Mathilda.”
“If you think you can do better, then please take the wheel. I insist.”
Dinah screeched. “Look out!”
Mathilda looked back. A large brown puddle covered the highway. She stomped her foot down. The RV screeched and skidded but stopped short of the mud. The motorcycle whizzed by, plowing through the mess, and spun uncontrollably. Mathilda and Dinah watched the Walrus and Carpenter cling to each other as the motorcycle skidded off the road and crashed into the ocean.
Mathilda turned the RV off. Dinah followed her toward the edge of the highway. Neither the Walrus nor the Carpenter was seen.
Dinah smiled, showing off her canines. “They’re gone.”
“For now,” answered Mathilda. She crouched down beside the puddle and poked her finger into the gooey mess. She felt it between her fingers before bringing it up to her nose and sniffed.
“It’s treacle.”
“Well, of course it is,” said a new voice.
Mathilda stood and watched the three Treacle sisters walk onto the road. The eldest was fourteen and the youngest eight. Tillie, the youngest, wore a purple tutu with a blue sweater, while her two older sisters wore ripped jeans and boyband T-shirts.
Mathilda smiled at the girls. “I have never in my life been happier to see anyone from Wonderland. What are you doing here?”
“Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum passed by in their flat cars yesterday,” said the oldest sister, Elsie Treacle.
“Fiat,” Mathilda corrected. “They’re called Fiats.”
“Alice told us to keep an eye out for you,” the middle sister Lacie informed them.
“You’ve seen her? She’s alive?”
Dinah burped, dropping oyster shells onto the road. “See, I told you.”
“Where is she?” asked Mathilda.
“She left three days ago,” answered Elsie. “She had been wounded and needed our assistance.”
Mathilda’s heart lurched. “Wounded?”
“The jabberwock found her,” Lacie replied, a grim expression on her face.
“But she was all right,” said Elsie. “Treacle did the job.”
Dinah scratched her ear. “How can molasses help?”
Elsie rolled her eyes. “The kind of treacle I’m talking about refers to a remedy for poison.”
Mathilda waved at the stray cat hairs floating in the air. “Where did Alice go?”
Something pulled at her sleeve and Mathilda looked down into the youngest Treacle sister’s face. Tillie, pigtails askew, face covered in treacle, held out her drawing, which Mathilda took.
“What is it?” asked Dinah.
“It’s Millennium Bridge. In London.” Mathilda looked at the youngest sister. “Alice has gone to London?”
Tillie nodded, her pigtails bouncing, as she sucked on a lollipop.
“Tillie, give Mathilda the vial,” Elsie told her sister.
Tillie reached into her tutu and pulled out a tiny vial filled with a brown substance.
“Give this to Alice,” Lacie instructed. “She left before we could give it to her. We’re going back to Wonderland.”
Mathilda put the vial in her pocket. “Thank you for your help.”
“Stay safe,” warned Elsie. “The Tweedle brothers are still out there. The walrus and the Carpenter won’t stay gone for long either.”
“You could come with us.”
“Just give Alice the vial and we’ll be fine,” answered Lacie.
Tillie immediately turned on her heel and ran towards the other side of the road.
“We’d rather not meet the Queen,” said Elsie.
Lacie held out a pail and waved her hand. The treacle on the road floated through the air and into the pail. Mathilda and Dinah returned to the RV. As they passed the sisters, Mathilda honked, and Tillie waved.
Night had fallen and the road was now black, the headlights doing a minimal job. A few slurping sounds emanated from the passenger seat.
“Are you still eating those things?”
Dinah’s pink tongue licked at her mouth before she held out an oyster.
Mathilda’s stomach ached, so she grabbed the oyster and gulped it down.
It was going to take over nine hours to get to London from Aberdeen, but if Alice was there it might not matter how much time it took. A burp escaped Dinah and Mathilda looked at her.
Dinah groaned, clutching her stomach. “I think I ate too much.”
Laughter filtered in and Dinah frowned.
“It’s not funny,” said Dinah, hanging her head. “I think I need to use the kitty litter. Stop laughing,”
“I’m not,” Mathilda replied.
The laughter grew louder. A cat’s head materialized in front of Mathilda, suspended in mid-air. She shrieked and slammed on the brakes, screeching to a halt. Dinah thumped to the floor.
“CHESHIRE!” Mathilda screamed.
“My apologies, Mathilda.” Cheshire smiled widely.
Mathilda took deep breaths to calm her rapidly beating heart. “I thought you returned to Wonderland.”
The Cheshire Cat’s emerald eyes narrowed. “Which is where I wish to be, but my services are needed here.” His entire body formed and he grinned. “Hello, Dinah.”
Unlike Dinah’s human form, the Cheshire Cat’s appearance was akin to a regular cat. If normal house cats had burgundy fur with purple stripes, that is.
Dinah hid part of her face behind her tail. “Cheshire.”
Mathilda rolled her eyes. “What are you doing here?”
“I have come to inform you that most of the villains have been driven back to their own worlds. Wonderland’s are some of the last.” His large eyes glanced at the back of the RV. “I do not see our dear Alice.”
Mathilda was getting used to sighing. “We haven’t found her yet. But we ran into the Treacle sisters, and I think she is in London.”
Cheshire’s bushy tail swished. “The power of the Treacle sisters is amateurish at best. You must hurry. The other realms’ wizards cannot cast their spells to make the world forget this ghastly turn of events until all villains are back where they belong.”
“We have to get to London first,” said Mathilda. “We won’t be there till morning, so they’ll have to wait.”
If it were possible, Cheshire’s already wide smile deepened. “I believe I can assist.”
Mathilda frowned. “I don’t like the sound of that. No offense, Cheshire, but you’re not one for being helpful.”
Cheshire nodded. “True. I am allergic to helping, but no one wants things the way they were more than me. I wish to live in peace in Wonderland. I brought an old friend with me.”
Before Mathilda could question Cheshire, the RV jolted. The moon’s glow on the ocean disappeared as the RV rose. Mathilda began to bounce in her seat, thankful she wore her seatbelt.
“What is that?” Dinah screeched, putting on her seatbelt.
If the devil existed, he would most definitely get smiling tips from the Cheshire Cat. His grin went from ear to ear, and his teeth seemed to twinkle.
“Our Caterpillar turned into a butterfly,” he replied.
Mathilda frowned. “He’s not known for being helpful either.”
Cheshire pranced around the dashboard. “I hid his hookah on him as an enticement.”
Dinah laughed, petting her tail. “Oh, Cheshire. You are a scoundrel.”
“What do we do once we find Alice?” asked Mathilda. “Does she know what to do?”
“She does,” answered Cheshire. “However, once Alice has sent the villains back, you must return yourselves to the Realm of Undying Stories along with the other heroes.”
“Of course.”
They didn’t belong in this world. Their place was alongside the other characters from beloved books where they were safe. It mattered only that the villains never escape again. Mathilda relaxed, and though she was still worried and on edge, her eyes eventually closed.
A hard shake jostled Mathilda and she lifted her head from the headrest. The RV was once more on the ground, the sky alight with a new day. Relief filled her as she took in the Victoria Memorial directly in front of them. Even if the Winged Victory on top of the monument was painted red, it meant they had reached their destination.
A tap at her window made her jump. She cursed the Caterpillar for being stupid enough to leave them in the palace courtyard. Guards surrounded the RV; some in black armour, others in red. The guard at her window wore blood-red armour, and a black diamond displayed over his heart with the number ten. Mathilda rolled her window down a crack.
“Can I help you?”
The guard held up his spear. “Out of the vehicle.”
“What do we do?” asked Dinah.
“Do as he says. Alice has to be here.”
Mathilda slowly opened her door and stepped down. The ten of diamonds immediately searched her, finding only the vial. She glared as he put it in his belt.
Mathilda kept her head down, avoiding the severed heads on spears stuck into the ground. She knew they weren’t just Wonderland characters, but Centaurs, Hobbits and a few Narnian’s. The guards led them toward the palace. Looking up, the bright sun reflected off the red paint, reminding her of the neon sign over the strip club where they once found the Dodo squandering his time. The palace walls matched the crimson carpet, making Mathilda feel as though she were in a giant strawberry.
They walked down the length of red hall, and into the throne room. Nothing was safe from the Queen of Hearts’ red fetish as gold and wood had been painted. Mathilda began to sweat. What were they going to do now? They wouldn’t survive meeting the Queen, not when she wanted Mathilda dead as much as Alice.
Beside her, Dinah growled low and menacing, flexing and extending her claws. The guard shoved his spear into Dinah’s back. She yowled and whirled, pouncing on the guard. Mathilda stood silently, watching as the other guards tried to pull her off. A muzzle was brought forward and fear filled Dinah’s yellow eyes.
There was a shout. “No! Leave her be.”
Mathilda looked up. A figure in scarlet with a veil over her face sat on one of the thrones. The guard Dinah attacked stumbled as far away from her as possible. Tiny red scratches covered his face, with many more on his black armour. Mathilda kept her attention on the throne as the figure stood and pulled back the veil.
She gaped at the heart-shaped face staring back. “Alice?”
The expression of indifference didn’t change on her little sister. Mathilda rushed forward but several guards circled her, their sharp spears halting her. There didn’t seem to be a mark or bruise anywhere on Alice’s body. Her blonde hair fell neatly down her back, but her blue eyes looked lifeless. The scarlet dress didn’t suit her, and the veil created the illusion of a devilish halo.
“Alice! What are you doing?” Mathilda frowned. “Where’s the Queen?”
Alice scowled. “I am the Queen.”
“I don’t understand.”
A short man wearing a gold crown and a red and white robe stood at Alice’s side, only coming up to her waist. Mathilda glared at the King of Hearts, and he intelligently looked the other way. She tried to push aside the spears but one poked her stomach, and another pricked her back. She halted, looking for another route.
“What did you do to her?”
The King of Hearts stroked his thin moustache. “It’s perfectly simple. Alice is my Queen now. Unfortunately, the same will have to be done to you.” He took a deep breath. “Send in the White Rabbit!” he yelled.
A nearby door opened and a guard walked in holding a rope. At the end was the White Rabbit, curled into a ball, being dragged along the floor. Large patches of fur were missing, his ears drooped from torture, and his only clothing was the pocket watch wound around one of his legs.
“Late, late, always late,” the White Rabbit mumbled. “Time, time slips by. Can never go back. Always forward. Only ever forward.”
The King smirked. “If you had looked at the heads in the courtyard you would have seen my wife among them. My dear Alice didn’t enjoy sharing so I thought it best the Queen lose her head.”
“I’m the Queen,” Alice fumed.
The King looked at Alice. “Of course you are, my darling.”
Mathilda stared at her little sister’s face. There was no way to get closer, but perhaps she didn’t have to. There was usually one word that could break a spell; Mathilda only had to figure out which one.
The King of Hearts went over to the throne, but his legs were too short. He snapped his fingers and a guard stepped forward and placed him on the seat.
The King straightened his crown. “Alice arrived yesterday. All alone with no one at her side. My dear wife locked her up, but I paid her a visit.”
Alice stood as if she were a statue, her eyes unblinking, and Mathilda’s heart broke.
“Mmm—” The King stopped. “You are Alice’s sister. You tried so hard to save her and the world. There will be a place for you here in the palace and you will never have to be parted again.”
Mathilda kept her focus on Alice. “We can be together in the Realm of Undying Stories.”
The King snorted. “Contained and pushed away. In this world we’re seen by everyone. The people attend us. In the Realm we’re lucky if anyone reads our stories. Children are forgetting…they don’t want to hear old tales.”
“You’re wrong,” Mathilda argued. “You’re jealous, because you’re a villain and everyone loves heroes more. Once I awaken Alice and drive you back to Wonderland, everything will be as it was before. Though here’s a piece of advice; when you return to Wonderland you might want to find a hiding place. Your true Queen might be a little upset with you.”
The King gulped, but raised his head in defiance. “Alice is under my spell. You can’t awaken her.”
Mathilda smirked. “You think I didn’t notice how you stopped from saying my name? It’s always been me and Alice. Even though I’m older and couldn’t imagine the same as her, we’re best friends. Sisters. Which means we would do anything to save each other.”
“RABBIT!” screamed the King. “Wind your watch!”
The White Rabbit sat up and began to unwind the gold chain from his leg. A shrill yowl came from behind Mathilda. She didn’t need to look to know that Dinah had pounced. The guards focused their attention on Dinah, allowing Mathilda to move forward, catching the White Rabbit’s attention.
“I am Mathilda, sister of Alice of Wonderland, and together we will drive you back to your rightful place.”
Mathilda only had to say her name before Alice blinked several times, peered around the room, then down at herself.
“What the hell am I wearing?” asked Alice.
“Mathilda!” Dinah yelled.
She turned to see half the guards lying on the ground.
Dinah threw the vial of treacle she had swiped from the guard’s belt, and Mathilda caught it.
The remaining guards milled in confusion, and the King couldn’t get down from his high throne.
“Alice, it’s from the Treacle sisters.”
Mathilda threw the vial toward her sister and Alice caught it. Mathilda pushed Dinah down on the marble floor as Alice pulled the cork from the vial. Large gobs of molasses spurted out of the tiny vial and covered the entire room. The molasses surrounded her and Dinah in a bubble, and when it disappeared Mathilda raised her head. The King and guards had disappeared. The room was as it had been, no evidence of red paint. Looking out the window, she saw all the severed heads had also vanished.
“Mathilda.”
She turned and fell against the wall as Alice jumped into her arms. They clung to each other until a low mewling intruded. Alice stood back and turned.
“Dinah!”
Alice threw her arms around Dinah’s furry neck. Mathilda couldn’t help herself and wound her arms around them, but the embrace didn’t last long before her nose began to twitch. She let go and sneezed loudly, making Alice laugh. Mathilda couldn’t help but laugh as well.
Alice reached for Mathilda’s hand, holding Dinah’s paw in her other hand.
“Let’s go home.”
It was the best idea Mathilda had ever heard.