Chapter Eight
Chase opened his laptop and looked expectantly at Rachel. “So I’ve been doing some research into our mine problem.”
As she’d been anticipating BB telling everyone about her kissing Cauy after dinner, Rachel had never been so happy before in her life to be lured into a technical discussion. BB had been unusually quiet and had gone off with Maria to check on her homework straight after they’d helped clear the table. Rachel suspected that Jenna had told him to keep his thoughts to himself. She hadn’t even mentioned finding the dog because she’d believed BB would make a big deal out of it.
“Rachel?”
She took the chair next to Chase while HW groaned and got out of his seat. “I guess you won’t be needing my input on this one, guys? Way out of my intellectual depth here.”
Ry snorted. “Weird how Rachel and I are blond, and we can handle it.”
HW gave his twin a casual pat on the head. “Good for you, Bro. I’ve got more important things to do like wash my hair.”
“Dumbass,” Ry muttered as HW sauntered away. “Sometimes I can’t believe we’re identical, let alone related.” He took the seat on the other side of Chase. “So what’s the plan?”
“I was hoping we could get some kind of camera down there that could roam around by itself and map the place,” Chase confessed. “But, apparently, that’s not possible.”
Ry frowned. “Why not? They send those things down sewer lines and pipes all the time.”
“No flat surfaces for the robot to run on, and problems communicating that far below the surface,” Rachel said promptly.
“Yeah, that’s right.” Chase looked at her with approval. “So we’re left with a few choices. The first one is fill in everything we find with concrete, which is kind of the traditional way.”
“But we don’t know the extent of the mine or the position of the tunnels yet so we could make things worse, and we might contaminate the groundwater system,” Rachel pointed out.
“That wouldn’t be good,” Ry said. “What else can we do, Chase?”
“Well, we can monitor everything from above using”—Chase read aloud from his laptop—“‘a wireless sensor network prediction technique based on multivariate statistical analysis of various parameters.’”
“What the hell does that mean?” Ry asked.
“Basically, keeping an eye out for sinkholes and the ground shifting using cameras and sensors on the surface,” Rachel said.
“Okay, so why didn’t they say that?” Ry looked at her. “Sounds just like Chase when he talks out of his ass.”
Chase grinned at his brother. “Thanks.” He turned to Rachel. “There is one more thing we can use to work out what’s going on down there—ground-penetrating radar.”
“Would that go deep enough?” Ry asked.
“If we use boreholes and lower the radar into the mine, then yes.” Rachel nodded. “You can get some pretty good three-dimensional images these days. Can we afford to do that, Chase? We’d need some specialized equipment.”
“It’s okay by me. I’d rather have some idea what we’re dealing with than not.” Chase typed something on his keyboard. “I’ll contact some people and cc you both on the e-mails, okay?”
“Sounds good to me.” Ry pushed back his chair. “I’m off to town to see Avery. Does anyone need a ride?”
Chase looked up. “Dad’s at his AA meeting. I’m not sure if he took his own truck so he might need a ride home.”
“Okay. I’ll check in with him.” Ry nodded. “See you guys later.”
Sometimes when Ry smiled he looked so like Annie that it hurt Rachel to see it. Not that her mom had been a great smiler. She’d worried so much about every little detail that she’d worn a permanent frown line on her forehead.
“He’s a lot like Mom, isn’t he?” Chase said without looking up. “More than HW, which is weird seeing as they are identical.”
“I know.” Rachel let out her breath. “It kind of freaks me out sometimes.”
“Me too.” Chase hesitated. “I remember Annie a lot more clearly than the others, and when she smiled . . . it could make your day so much brighter.” He shut down his laptop. She’d noticed that none of them called Annie “Mom.” “But man, when she got mad? Especially in the last year she was terrifying.”
“So I gather.” Rachel stared down at the table. “She didn’t smile much when I was young.”
Chase turned to her. “Before she married Paul?”
“Yes, we were always on the move, money was tight, and she was just so anxious. Even when I was small I knew that.”
“That must’ve been tough for you.”
“At least I had her.” Rachel met Chase’s blue gaze. “You guys lost your mother completely.”
“But we had Ruth, and Roy, and Dad for at least a while, and this place. What did you have?”
“A mother on the run who, according to HW, didn’t mean for me to tag along.” Rachel couldn’t believe she’d actually said the words out loud.
Chase reached out his hand to cover hers. “Hey, that’s—”
“The truth, right?” Her voice cracked. “HW put me in the truck thinking Mom would bring me back and take him, her favorite child, instead.”
“But she didn’t,” Chase reminded her gently. “She kept you and brought you up very successfully while forging a new life for herself.” He paused. “It might sound a weird thing to say, but I kind of admire her guts. It can’t have been easy.”
“Yeah, you’re right. She was pretty amazing.” Rachel bit back a flood of memories and smiled instead. She’d learned early that expressing negative feelings didn’t get you anywhere. “Let me know when you’ve got that equipment and we can take it from there.”
She stood and put her balled-up napkin on the table. “Would you like me to pour you a cup of coffee, Chase? I’m getting one before I go upstairs to research ground-penetrating radar.”
Chase stretched his arms over his head until his bones cracked. “Thanks, but I’ve got to go over to the guest reception. This last group of guests is causing January some scheduling issues. To be honest, I’ll be glad when they’ve gone, and we have the ranch to ourselves.”
“I thought you liked being a dude ranch?” Rachel was more than happy to change the subject.
“Most of the time I do, but this lot?” Chase grimaced. “They just aren’t working out too well. In the future I’m not going to book any more just-male groups. The dynamic is weird.”
“Do you need any help?” Rachel offered.
“Thanks for asking, but the last thing I’d do is send you over there.” Chase got to his feet. “I’m barely stopping Sam from taking them all out as it is.”
Rachel smiled at the thought of HW’s feisty retired military police girlfriend standing up to the dudes. Her phone buzzed and she took it out of her pocket to see a text from Jenna.
“See you later, Chase.” She started to read as she left the kitchen, completely forgetting her coffee.
“Thanks for your input, Rachel,” Chase called out as she climbed the stairs.
Dog remains in stable condition. One broken rear leg, probably from the fall, otherwise all good. More tomorrow, J x.
Rachel sent a text back. Thanks so much! Let me know how much I owe you!
Already taken care of, no worries. J x.
Rachel fired up her laptop and sat at her desk. At least the dog was okay. She stared at her cell. Maybe she should text Cauy and let him know....
Would he want to hear from her? He said he liked it when she talked, but he might just be being polite.
“Cauy, polite?” Rachel said out loud. Sure, he could be, but he certainly didn’t suffer fools gladly and had no problem drawing a line. He didn’t back down from a bit of Morgan intimidation either.
She found his number and started typing.
Hey! Just wanted to let you know that the dog is doing okay!
She held her breath as the message flashed delivered, immediately regretting her cheery exclamation marks. And the message rhymed. Great.
His immediate reply made her jump.
I’ll let you know any further updates tomorrow. Thanks again.
You’re welcome.
Rachel considered what to do next. After talking to Chase about their mother she definitely didn’t want to sit and brood.
What are you up to? Rachel typed.
Watching sports.
Oh, sorry to interrupt.
If it was that good I wouldn’t have texted you back.
Rachel smiled at her phone. Vintage Cauy, dry and to the point. Idly, she checked her e-mail. There was one from her dad and Jane. She clicked on the link and stared at a photo of a blue crystal sea and old white pillars, which she assumed was Greece. In the pic, her father was standing behind Jane with one hand spread over her stomach grinning like a loon.
Rachel read the text.
Great News! Expecting our first child next year!
She stared at the picture for a long time, and then shut her laptop down. For once Morgan Ranch was silent around her. Ruth was helping Jenna furnish her new home, and everyone else was either out with the guests or in town.
Her phone chirped.
Was Cauy actually checking up on her? Rachel silently shook her head.
She shot to her feet, grabbed her fleece, and went back down the stairs to the mudroom. Her sheepskin-lined coat, knitted hat, and boots were already warm when she put them on and went out into the inky black evening. She got into her truck and made her way out to the county road before taking a sharp turn back up into the Lymond Ranch.
It was weird to park at a ranch where there were no dogs coming out to greet you, no lights in the barn, and few welcoming lights in the house. Even as Rachel approached the back door it opened, and Cauy was standing there. Without a word, he stepped back and let her inside. It was warm in the kitchen. The remains of his evening meal sat in the sink, and the smell of freshly brewed coffee lingered in the air.
He watched her for a long moment and then held out his hand as she took off her coat and hat, placing them on the back of one of the kitchen chairs. Rachel found she couldn’t sit down so she paced the kitchen, noticing for the first time that there were no family photos or personal items around.
“Why don’t you have pictures?” she asked.
“Of what?” Cauy leaned up against the wall and watched her carefully.
“Of family, or friends, or, anything.”
He shrugged. “I guess I haven’t gotten around to it.”
“You do have some then?”
“I’m pretty sure my mom left some behind. Why does it matter?”
“Because it does.” Rachel turned to face him properly. “Pictures matter.” Her voice was wobbling now, and he tensed like he was waiting for her to bolt. “Like pictures your stepfather and his new wife send to all their friends and just include you without mentioning it first.”
“Pictures of what?”
“Their happy news. That they are having their first child, and that’s kind of weird because my mother told me her husband couldn’t have children, so who was lying, and why?”
Cauy shifted very slightly. “That sucks.”
“That’s all you have to say?” Rachel rounded on him.
“What else would you like me to say? One of them lied to you and, as far as I can tell, there’s only one person who can answer that question, and it isn’t me.”
“Thanks for nothing.” Rachel glared at him. “I suppose you’re going to tell me you didn’t ask me to come up here and start telling you stuff you didn’t want to hear either?”
Cauy crossed his arms over his chest. “No. I’m not going to do that.”
She made a dash for her hat and coat feeling so stupid, and tearful, and what exactly had she expected him to do?
“Hey.” His hand closed gently around her elbow. “Rachel, just—”
* * *
He turned her against his body. For a second she stiffened as if ready to push him away, and then gave it up and flowed against him in one sudden wave. He just held her, his face buried in her hair as she cried as if her heart was broken. Reaching into his pocket, he found his handkerchief and pressed it into her hand.
She immediately stepped back and blew her nose.
“Thanks.” Her brave attempt at a smile made something in his heart clench. “Sorry to get all emotional on you. I hate crying. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
He motioned her toward the two chairs in front of the TV he’d turned off when he’d heard her truck coming up the drive.
“I should probably go,” Rachel said.
Cauy took his seat and waited her out until with a little sigh she came to join him.
“I feel like an idiot.”
“Join the club.” Cauy waited as she blew her nose again. “Would you like some coffee?”
She nodded, and he went to get her a mug and refreshed his own. It gave him something to do with his hands while his head tried to work out why Rachel Morgan had brought her problems to him. According to his ex, he was the world’s worst person to confide in about anything, so how badly was he going to mess this up?
He brought her coffee and put the mug on the table beside her.
“You remembered how I like it,” Rachel said. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He resumed his seat and sipped his own coffee as if it had magical power to help him do the right thing.
“I suppose I should explain,” Rachel said.
“Not on my account,” Cauy hastened to say. “Unless you need to get something off your chest.”
“I’d rather tell you than the Morgans.” Rachel looked at him. “They tend to be a mite overprotective of me and I don’t want this to turn into a big thing, you know?”
“Okay.”
It obviously was a big thing to have driven her to Cauy’s place in tears, but he was willing to go along with her reasoning if it helped.
“I got a group e-mail with a photo of my dad and Jane in Greece.” She looked down at her mug of coffee. “It was a general announcement that Jane was pregnant. They both looked thrilled.”
Cauy nodded, channeling the therapist he’d had after his accident, who had just sat there and forced him to talk to fill the silence.
“I . . . didn’t take it well,” Rachel confessed. “Firstly that my dad hadn’t given me a heads-up, but then he didn’t tell me he was getting remarried until the actual day it happened either, so why am I surprised?” She paused. “I suppose you’re going to say he probably didn’t know how to tell me and didn’t want to hurt my feelings.”
“No,” Cauy said. “I think he messed up. Big-time.”
“You do?” She smiled at him through the remnants of her tears. “And then there’s that whole other bit about me always wanting a sibling, and my mom telling me that Paul couldn’t have children. Why would she lie about that?”
Cauy shrugged. “Maybe she was the one who didn’t want any more kids. She’d already had five.”
“And that didn’t go well for her, did it, seeing as she walked out on four of them?” Rachel bit her lip. “Maybe he wanted kids all along, and she refused to have them.”
“Sounds possible.” Cauy took another slug of coffee.
“I never asked him because Mom said it would be too upsetting. . . .” Rachel winced. “I suppose you’re going to tell me I should grow up and ask him now.”
Cauy didn’t say a word, and she carried on talking.
“But maybe wait until after this baby is born, right?”
Rachel seemed to be doing a great job sorting out her problems by herself while he just sat there and nodded along. Maybe that therapist had been onto something....
“I thought Jane was too old to have kids, or that she’d decided she didn’t want them,” Rachel sighed. “And as my dad was younger than Mom I suppose he’s okay with it. Here’s what’s weird, Cauy. That baby isn’t really related to me at all, is it?”
“Only through your family connection to Paul.”
“Yes, that’s right.” Her smile was strained. “It isn’t really anything to do with me. Paul, my stepdad, has moved on, and I’ve . . .” She sucked in a breath. “Become irrelevant.”
Silence fell between them as Cauy tried to work out what to say. “Family can be complicated.” Wow, that was profound. He tried again. “I didn’t get along with my dad. We barely spoke after I left home. But he still left me the ranch.”
“Because you’re his eldest son.”
“I’m not sure if that’s true.” He took a quick breath. “My mom was seventeen when she married him. I was born six months after that.”
It was Rachel’s turn to stare at him without speaking.
“And before you ask, my mom won’t tell me the truth,” Cauy added. “She says it’s not important. That there are two names on my birth certificate and that’s all I need to know.”
“Wow.” Rachel put her coffee down. “Now I feel like such a whiner.”
“I didn’t mean for you to feel like that. I was just—”
“Sharing something personal to make me feel better?”
“Yeah.” He held her gaze. “That.”
She slowly stood and walked over to his chair. He leaned his head back to take all of her in as she framed his face with her hands and kissed his mouth.
“Thank you, Cauy.”
With a stifled sound he hoisted her onto his lap and kissed her back. This time no one interrupted them, not even themselves, and it was glorious, and maddening, and . . . Cauy cupped her ass and pressed her more firmly against the hardness contained in his jeans. She moaned into his mouth and rocked against him.
She slid her fingers under his T-shirt and he shivered as her nails lightly raked down his biceps.
“Is this okay?” she whispered.
His answer was his own attempt to get under the layers and touch her right back. He peeled off her fleece and unbuttoned her shirt while she yanked his T-shirt right over his head.
“Oh . . .” she breathed, stretching her fingers over his naked chest. “You’re so warm, and hard, and . . .”
Cauy almost came in his jeans as she ran her fingers down over his pecs through the hair on his chest, catching one of his nipples with her nail. He slid his hand down the back of her jeans.
“Can I persuade you out of these?”
She undid the zipper and for a glorious few moments they both struggled to get her out of them, ending up with Rachel now sitting on the chair with Cauy on the floor between her thighs. He leaned in and kissed her mouth as he cupped her mound.
“Let me touch you.”
She bit his lip. “What about you?”
He glanced down at his straining fly. “Later. Ladies first.”
* * *
Rachel closed her eyes as Cauy flexed his fingers against her most tender flesh. He’d probably noticed she was already aroused as his thumb slicked through her wetness. He murmured her name as he learned her, caressed her, and slid one finger deep.
She came almost immediately, clinging on to him, and letting the new rush of emotions drive out old hurts as he moved with her.
“Yeah . . . that’s it, honey, do it again.” His appreciative murmur made her shiver as he slowly bit down on her neck and eased his finger into a driving rhythm that made her forget anything but the taste and smell of him, and the need for completion.
She gripped his shoulder so tightly she worried she’d do some permanent damage, but he didn’t seem to notice, and letting go of him right now so wasn’t happening. He was her rock in a storm of emotions, the calm center of her own personal blizzard.
She forced her eyes open. “I want you. All of you.”
“Yeah?” He kissed her with a thoroughness that made every nerve ending she possessed sit up and take notice. “Then come to bed with me.”
He eased free of her and brought his fingers to his lips, tasting her with a slow enjoyment that made her blush.
“Give me a second to make sure my bedroom is warm enough, and then I’ll come get you.”
“Okay.” Rachel smiled foolishly at him. Unwilling to let him out of her sight, and almost too relaxed to want to move anywhere. “Get rid of all your other women, too.”
He chuckled as he left the room, and Rachel forced herself to sit up. Where the heck had her underwear gone? She spied her panties and bra on the floor and started gathering up the rest of her clothes. The pocket of her jeans vibrated and she crouched down to check her phone.
It was her stepfather Paul’s number. She struggled into her panties as she accepted the call.
“Rachel? Is that you?”
“Yeah. Hey.” She tried to sound bright and cheerful. “I saw your news! Congratulations!”
His sigh echoed across the continents. “I’m sorry I didn’t call you first. I intended to, and then Jane said she’d just e-mailed everyone because calling individually would be too expensive from here.”
“She had a point.” Rachel pulled on her shirt and buttoned it one-handed. “And it’s okay. Having your first baby together is exciting.”
His laugh was rueful. “It wasn’t planned. Traveling messed with Jane’s birth control, and now we’re faced with being the oldest parents in the schoolyard.”
“You’ll be great.” Rachel sat on the floor and pulled on her jeans.
“Only because I had all that experience with you,” Paul said.
“Luckily, you never knew me when I was a small baby. Mom said I was awful.” Rachel became aware of Cauy standing in the doorway and kept her back turned to him. “It was nice of you to call, but—”
“Rachel, you’re still my daughter. I know you’ve got the Morgan family behind you now, but I’ll always consider you as much mine as this new baby.”
“That’s very sweet of you.” She smiled even though he couldn’t see her. “I appreciate that very much.”
“I always wanted to have kids, but your mother . . . well, she told me after we married that she’d had her tubes tied, and couldn’t have any more, so that was that.”
“I’m sorry,” Rachel said.
“Nothing to be sorry about. I had you and your mom, and that was enough for me.”
Rachel held the phone so tightly she thought it might crack.
“You still there, Rachel?”
She gathered herself. “You’re breaking up a bit. Maybe you should go. Love you, Dad, and love to Jane.”
She cut the connection and stayed where she was, all the time aware of Cauy’s gaze on her. He still had his jeans on although he’d taken off his belt and unbuttoned them.
“You planning on going somewhere?”
She put her cell back in her pocket and stood. “No, that was my father, and—”
“Because that’s okay.” He found his T-shirt and put it on in one jerky motion. “Probably not good to make decisions when you’re upset.”
“I was upset, but that’s not why I put my clothes on, I was talking to my stepdad, and it felt weird—”
He interrupted her again by handing over her jacket and hat. “Not a problem.”
Rachel clutched her remaining garments to her chest as he marched over to the back door and looked at her expectantly.
“You’re throwing me out?”
He shrugged. “Sounds like you’ve sorted things with your dad so your problem is solved.”
Rachel stalked up to him and poked him in the chest. “I don’t think I’m the one having regrets, buddy, but classy of you to put all the blame on me.”
A muscle twitched in his jaw, but he didn’t react to her deliberate taunt, which was annoying as hell. He was supposed to defend himself, get mad, and then sweep her off her feet into his bed and make love to her all night. But maybe he really did regret what they’d started, and she simply hadn’t made the grade. She was the one who had forced her way into his house, cried all over him, and let him comfort her with sex. She’d taken everything and given nothing in return.
She rammed her hat on her head and struggled into her coat. He silently helped her find the second armhole, but she didn’t say thank you.
“Good night, Cauy.” She smiled at his T-shirt, not daring to look up into his eyes in case he looked either sorry for her or delighted she was finally leaving him in peace. “Thanks for listening. I really appreciate it.”
This time he didn’t stop her leaving, and she stumbled in the frosty night almost slipping on the ice in the yard. At least this time she wasn’t storming out and slamming the door. That was progress, right? She took a deep breath and looked up at the clearness of the star-studded sky. Acting on her emotions never ended well and usually made her feel she’d let everyone down and was ungrateful. How many times had she tried to tell her mother how she felt only to be called out about how hard her mother’s life was? Too many to count until she’d stopped complaining, and just done her best to keep her mouth shut and keep everyone happy.
She got into her truck and took it slow going down the slope, her tires struggling to find grip on the icy surface. She was glad her stepfather had called to straighten things out. If she’d just stayed put in her bedroom she would’ve received the call there, and none of what had happened later with Cauy would have occurred.
She allowed herself to think about how he’d touched her so carefully with his work-roughened hands, how easily he’d made her come. Did she regret that? Rachel sat up straight and slowly shook her head. She’d had sex before, but no one had taken care of her needs first. Most guys were way too selfish to even think about her pleasure before they took their own.
So she wouldn’t regret that experience even if it was the last time she ever got to see Cauy Lymond half-naked. Her body disagreed with that, but she ignored those pitiful yearnings and focused on getting safely back to the ranch.
* * *
As the sound of Rachel’s truck receded down the hill Cauy sank into his chair and put his head in his hands.
“Jeez, Cauy Lymond . . .” he breathed. “You complete and utter monumental fuckup.”
The shock of seeing Rachel dressed when he’d come back into the room had knocked him sideways, robbing him of speech and obviously his brains. He’d made assumptions, she’d gotten mad, and he’d let her walk out.
Again.
He was the ass in assumptions.
There was a pattern here that even he was aware of. He thought she’d changed her mind, had regretted letting him touch her, and was desperate to leave. But from what he’d allowed her to say she’d only covered up because she was talking to her stepdad, which was ridiculous, but made a weird kind of sense. He would probably have done the same if it had been his mom on the phone.
But why had he been so eager to rush to those conclusions? Was Rachel right and had he really been looking for a way out?
He couldn’t answer that. Or maybe he just didn’t want to face the truth. The thought of having her in his bed had been . . . Cauy sighed. Awesome. She was like the light. Having her in his hands and sinking into her warmth made him feel alive again. Thinking she was about to leave had gutted him.
All the reasons why touching her was a bad idea still remained. He licked his lips. The taste of her still lingered despite his hasty teeth brushing while he made sure his bed linen was clean and his boxers safely in the laundry basket. His dick was throbbing like a sore tooth. He’d been more than willing to take advantage of her emotional state so maybe it was right that he’d been stopped.
“Bullshit,” Cauy spoke aloud. “You still want her.”
There was nobody to answer him, but he already knew the truth. He’d have a cold shower, take himself off to bed, and try not to dream about what might have been.