Chapter Twenty-One
“Where’s Grace?” Jackson came into the kitchen where Cauy was sitting at the table and looked around. “She didn’t get out, did she?”
“Rachel hasn’t brought her back.” Cauy pretended to focus on reading his mail.
“You let her kidnap our dog?”
“She’s not our dog. Rachel took Grace to the vet to get the cast removed,” Cauy explained. “She found the dog. I was just doing her a favor looking after it.”
“So Grace won’t be coming back?” Jackson frowned. “I bought her a Christmas present.”
“Then you can go over to Morgan Ranch and give it to her, it’s not exactly far.”
Jackson came to sit next to Cauy. “You do know we’ve been invited for Christmas dinner?”
“I wouldn’t count on it.” Cauy pushed his coffee to one side. He’d drunk way too much and had a headache. He still hadn’t reconciled what he’d said to Rachel with how his heart was currently feeling. It felt wrong, like he’d completely misread everything. “Rachel’s probably told them what a bastard I am, and they’ll close ranks to defend her.”
“And you already know what I think of that stupid strategy,” Jackson muttered. “Maybe I’ll go and leave you here to stew in your self-righteous juices.”
“Nice image,” Cauy said as he rose to his feet. “Let’s just hope the Morgans don’t leave us a dozen horses to take care of by ourselves as well.”
“If they do, it’ll totally be your fault.” Jackson looked up at him. “Can I borrow some of your tools to get into that old filing cabinet?”
“Sure, help yourself.” Cauy stretched and checked the time. “I’ve got to see to our horses anyway so I’ll come out with you.”
It seemed weird walking anywhere now without Grace padding along beside him. He’d kind of hoped Rachel would bring the dog back but hadn’t been surprised when she’d chosen not to. He’d cut her off and set her free, so why did it still feel as if he’d cut out his own heart as well?
“Cauy, are you coming?” Jackson shouted at him from the newly roofed feed store.
“I’ll just get my tools.”
It took them a while to figure out how to get into the rusted drawers, but they eventually worked it out, prying the top one open and dumping the whole thing on the newly laid cement floor.
“Eew.” Jackson wrinkled his nose. “It smells like booze.”
“That’s because someone was stashing their whisky in there.” Cauy bent down and fished out two empty bottles. “There’s another one here that’s on its side with the lid not properly closed. It’s leaked all over the rest of the stuff.”
“Any gold?” Jackson asked hopefully.
“In a silver mine?” Cauy crouched beside the drawer and stirred the rest of the contents with his gloved finger. “Looks like old accounts books to me.”
“What date?”
“Early twentieth century, I think.” Cauy used the light on his new phone to illuminate the gloom. “Not sure I want to lean in too close in case I catch something.”
“I’ll check them out later,” Jackson said. “Let’s get the second drawer open.”
Cauy helped Jackson lower it to the floor. It was heavier than the last one, but there only appeared to be one item inside. It was a large metal box with a key sticking out of it.
“Wow,” Jackson said. “Treasure!” He patted the table. “Bring it up here into the light.”
“Knowing our luck it will be lumps of coal,” Cauy muttered as he heaved the heavy rust-encrusted box onto the table. Jackson had to use the pliers to persuade the bent key to turn in the lock, but he managed it eventually.
“Whoa,” Jackson breathed. “That’s where Dad was keeping his money.”
Cauy stared at what appeared to be gold coins. “You’re kidding me. What idiot puts their money into fake gold coins?”
Jackson was examining them. “I don’t think they’re fake, Cauy. You remember how Dad was always going on about those old coins his father handed down to him? He must have decided to carry on the collection.”
“So you think they’re worth some money?” Cauy asked dubiously.
“Yeah, I’ll check them out on the Internet, okay?” Jackson grinned at him. “We’re rich! Well, I am. You are anyway.”
“Any money we recover from them should go straight back into the ranch,” Cauy stated. “We need stock, and—”
“Don’t be such a tightwad.” Jackson held up his hand. “I’m not planning a gambling trip to Vegas or anything. Just let me just enjoy the moment, okay?”
“Sorry, my sense of humor’s not working too well these days.” Cauy stepped back.
“And whose fault is that?” Jackson picked up the metal box and started back toward the house. “I’ll clean them up and get back to you as soon as possible.”
“Great.” Cauy turned to the barn, the smell of rust clinging to him. Whatever happened with the coins he’d make sure Jackson got half the profits. He’d start on the horses. It would give him something to do and stop him worrying about how Rachel was doing.
About three horses in, Cauy heard a truck pull into the yard and poked his head out into the frosty air to see Roy and some of the Morgan Ranch hands coming toward the barn.
“Evening, Cauy!” Roy came straight for him, an elderly man by his side. “Have you got a moment?”
“Sure.” Cauy braced himself as he showed Roy and the stranger into the newly reorganized tack room, which was slightly warmer than the open-ended barn. The guy looked a little long in the tooth to be a new ranch hand. “How can I help you?”
Roy pointed at the man next to him who on closer inspection looked vaguely familiar. “This here is Shep Gardin. He used to work on our ranch, and now he has his own place about a mile up the road next to the Turners.”
Cauy tipped his hat to the elderly man, who was regarding him intently. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.”
Shep turned to Roy. “He could be.”
“You think?” Roy grinned, displaying the gap in his teeth. “I thought so as soon as I saw him. He’s like Anita, but he definitely doesn’t have her coloring.”
Cauy patiently waited them out until Shep turned to him.
“My son Benjamin.”
“Yes?” Cauy asked cautiously.
“He worked at the Morgan Ranch with me. Went to school with your mother, and was walking out with her.”
Cauy glanced at Roy. “As in going out with her?”
Shep nodded vigorously. “Very sweet on her. She was a lovely girl. We approved.”
“I think Ben might have been your father, Cauy,” Roy said. “You have a look of him. It took me a while to work it out, and then I asked Shep what he thought, and found out he’d also been wondering. He saw you in Doc Mendez’s waiting room a couple of times, and once at the veterinaries’.”
Cauy focused on Shep. “What happened to Ben?”
A quiver of emotion rushed over the old man’s face. His kind brown eyes were the same color as Cauy’s. “Tractor and trailer rolled over on him when he was seventeen. He died instantly.”
“I’m sorry for your loss.” Cauy said the words automatically.
If Shep was correct, it might explain why his mother had seen no alternative than to marry someone else to give her child a name.
“We can do that fancy DNA testing if you want,” Shep said gruffly. “But you do have a look of my boy.”
“I’d be happy to do that as long as my mother doesn’t object,” Cauy said. He held out his hand. “It’s good to meet you regardless, sir.”
Shep’s shy smile reminded Cauy of his own before the accident. “That would be wonderful, son. You’ll have to come and meet my Marjory. She’d be thrilled.”
“Now, don’t rush the boy,” Roy admonished his friend. “He’s got a lot to think about already.”
Shep nodded and stepped back. “Thanks for introducing us, Roy. Now, seeing as I’m here, let me help out with the horses.”
* * *
Rachel whistled to Grace and came out of the barn. It was still early in the morning, and the sun had managed to climb over the Sierras without adding any warmth to the valley. She wasn’t sleeping well and had woken up when it was still dark, and decided to spend an hour mucking out the horses. Grace had enjoyed chasing the barn cats and hanging out with the other dogs. She’d spent most of the night whining, which hadn’t helped Rachel sleep any better. She’d been that way ever since Rachel had brought her home three days ago. At some point in the night Rachel had felt like joining in....
“Grace!” Rachel called out again, and the dog finally emerged from the barn, ears flapping as she galloped toward Rachel.
Rachel was just about to put on her leash when a truck came through the gate and pulled into the circular yard. She instinctively grabbed hold of Grace’s collar. The dog was still young, and not well trained enough to always come back when she was called.
Rachel went still as Cauy emerged from the truck muffled up in his thick sheepskin coat, brown cowboy hat, and a scarf. She didn’t want to speak to him, but pride made her stand her ground, and wait for him approach her.
“Morning, Rachel.” He tipped his hat to her, but she couldn’t see his eyes beneath the lowered brim. “I brought Grace’s stuff over. I thought you might need it.”
With an excited yelp Grace tried to bound forward. Rachel released her iron grip and let her go. Cauy sank to his knees and grabbed hold of the dog, running his hands through her fur, and murmured sweet nothings in her ears as she tried to lick his face. Grace’s tail was wagging so hard Rachel was surprised she hadn’t taken off.
She knew how good Cauy’s work roughened hands felt, and for a terrible second yearned to launch her own body at him and be given the same welcome. She’d fallen in love with him and there was nothing she could do about it. Instead she watched in silence as man and dog bonded again. Eventually he looked up at her, his smile crooked.
“Sorry. It was just so good to see her again.”
“So I gathered.” Rachel crossed her arms over her chest. “She misses you.”
“Yeah?” Cauy gave Grace another pet and reluctantly got to his feet, his gaze lingering on the dog. “I’ll put the stuff on the porch.”
“There’s no need,” Rachel said.
Cauy went still. “Excuse me?”
She gestured at Grace, who was jumping up at Cauy demanding more attention. “She wants to be with you. Take her home, okay? Just let me know when she has the puppies.” She half turned back to the barn. “Thanks for coming, Cauy. Bye, Grace.”
“Rachel, wait,” Cauy called out to her. “I didn’t come here to steal your dog.”
“She’s not my dog.” Rachel forced herself to face him with a smile. “She’s obviously yours. Look how happy she is just seeing you.”
“I don’t want to take anything—”
“Anything else away from me?” Rachel interrupted him. “You can’t own something that was never yours in the first place. You can’t make something or someone love you.” She found another smile. “And I’ll be leaving soon so it’s much better if she stays with you.”
“You’re definitely going?”
She raised her chin. “Not until after Christmas. You’ll have to put up with me until then, but I promise I won’t embarrass you or anything.”
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it,” Cauy said fiercely.
“Then why don’t you take your damn dog and leave?” She raised her eyebrows. “Unless you’re claiming this part of the ranch is yours as well?”
He stared at her for a long moment, and then abruptly turned away and headed for his truck. He held the passenger door open and Grace jumped up without a backward glance. In less than a minute he’d disappeared from view, the roar of his truck taking a long time to die away in the stillness.
Rachel leaned back against the barn wall, her knees shaking. She hated confrontations, but he’d deserved everything she’d thrown at him.
“Nice.”
She jumped as a voice behind her spoke, and turned to see HW smiling at her. Because of what he’d revealed about her mother’s choices she hadn’t pursued as strong a relationship with him as she had with his twin and her other brothers. He was far less open than they were and often regarded her like she was a ticking bomb.
“Which part?” Rachel asked.
“All of it.” He came to lean against the wall next to her, his blue eyes and blond hair a mirror of her own. “You owned him big-time.”
“I don’t want to own him,” Rachel muttered.
“Yeah, you do.”
“Like you’d know anything.” Rachel faced him. “Cauy Lymond wants half our ranch. He’s the last person in the world I want to have feelings for at the moment.”
“You still have them though.”
Rachel frowned at him. “Have you been talking to Jenna or something? I really don’t need another Morgan telling me how I’m feeling right now.”
“Just trying to help.” HW didn’t take the hint and gracefully disappear, but continued to study her. “You’re like me.”
“In what way?”
He shrugged. “We both find it difficult to believe we are lovable. Mom did a number on both of us.”
“She loved you.”
“Only on her terms.” HW glanced at her. “That’s exactly how she was with you, too, wasn’t she?”
“I . . .” Rachel felt like she’d been sucker punched. “That’s not—”
“Yeah it is,” HW insisted. “We both try and make everyone else happy because we’re afraid we’re not good enough, that we’ll be left behind. Don’t tell me I’m wrong. I’ve watched you do it.”
“Like you’d know anything.” Heat gathered in her chest, and her hands fisted at her side.
“Hey, I know it all.” He stepped away from the wall and spread his arms wide. “Go on.”
“Go on what?”
“You’re dying to get angry at something so why not me? You obviously don’t like me very much.”
“Why would you think that?” Rachel squared up to him.
“Because you don’t talk to me like you talk to the others.”
“That’s not true!”
“You don’t talk to me because I was the one who messed up your life.” HW’s blue eyes clashed with hers. “You think I don’t like you.”
“You don’t,” Rachel snapped.
“I like you fine.” He paused. “You think I resent you for being the one Mom took with her when the opposite is actually true.”
“You liar!” Rachel gaped at him. “You wanted her to take you!”
“When I was five, yeah, I did, but you know what? I’m glad she didn’t because I wouldn’t be the man I am now if she had.”
“You’d be like me you mean?” Rachel was way past being polite, and well on the road of sharing a few home truths. “The kid who was never good enough—never you?”
He frowned. “What the hell?”
Rachel marched up to him and poked him in the chest. “She loved you best. She died wishing you were there with her. She told me to go away!”
HW grimaced and reached for her. “Jeez, Rach, I’m sorry, I didn’t know, I didn’t mean to—”
“It’s okay.” She stepped out of his reach. She’d never told anyone what her mother’s final words had been before, not even her stepfather. “You just reminded me that I did the right thing walking away from Cauy. I refuse to beg anyone to love me anymore.”
“Okay, I hear you.” HW studied her carefully. “You done now?”
She nodded and let out a very shaky breath.
“Good. One day you will meet someone who makes you feel that way, I promise you. Look at Sam. She loves me despite all my shit. If Cauy Lymond doesn’t have the intelligence to appreciate you, he’s an ass.”
“I know that.” Rachel nodded. “Thank you.”
This time she didn’t avoid HW when he drew her into a hug. Of all the people in the world this man, this brother truly understood what she’d gone through with their mother. She’d never forget that. They shared something none of their other siblings would quite understand, and she was finally at peace with that.
“She did love you, Rachel,” HW murmured into her hair. “If she hadn’t, she would’ve abandoned you somewhere, or brought you back. Hell, I was counting on her bringing you back. I’ve always thought that having you with her finally made her seek help for her depression. She didn’t give up on you. If she’d come back . . .” He sighed. “I think things would’ve gotten worse.”
“Thanks for nothing,” Rachel mumbled against his chest, and was rewarded by the rumble of his laughter.
“Right back at you.” He put his hands on her shoulders and eased her back until she had to look up into his eyes. “We’ve both said what we needed to say. Can we be friends now?”
“I’ll think about it.”
HW grinned. “That’s my girl.” He wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Now come on, let’s go and get some breakfast before Ry eats everything on the table.”