Remy
Summer was passing in a blur. Days were spent at the bakery, and weekends with Mikel.
Remy: Hey, baby. Want me to come over tonight?
She sighed as she prepared herself to be turned down again. She never knew with him. He could be the kindest, most amazing boyfriend one minute and then distant the next.
Mikel: Busy. Tomorrow?
It was Saturday, and Andre wasn’t working. What else could it be? His job took a lot out of him. Maybe he was just tired.
But he didn’t say that. He said he was busy.
“Ugh!” She was obsessing. She just needed to keep herself occupied today.
Remy: Up for a girls’ day?
Emma: Yes, ma’am!
* * *
Sunday morning, Remy grabbed her phone. Mikel hadn’t responded to her goodnight text. Was something wrong?
Remy: Good morning. Should I come over, or are you going to pick me up?
Several minutes passed before her phone rang.
“Hey.”
“Hey, baby. Listen, I got a few things I need to take care of this morning. Maybe we can hang out later this afternoon?” Mikel said.
“I could tag along with you and keep you company—”
“No.” His voice was adamant.
“Oh, okay.” She hoped she was disguising the hurt in her voice.
“I’d just rather get this done and over with and get to you. I’ll text you when I’m on the way.”
“Alright. I miss you.” It had been eight days since they’d seen each other.
He sighed. “Miss you too, baby. I’ll make up for it tonight. Promise.” His smooth voice made her clench her thighs together in anticipation.
“Can’t wait.”
* * *
It was more evening than afternoon when Mikel finally messaged that he was on his way over to pick her up.
Remy’s body wound tight with anticipation. It was getting harder and harder to stop herself from going all the way. The times they spent naked and tangled together brought them closer. She wanted Mikel to be her first. That condom was burning a hole in her bag. Was there something wrong with her? Was that why Mikel hadn’t tried to take it further? For once in her life she wished she wasn’t as inexperienced.
The smile that spread across his lips erased all her fears as she walked towards him. The way his gaze raked across every inch of her never got old. The jeans he wore fit snugly around his thighs, and she’d bet her life that his behind looked as good as his front. Her gaze lingered on his torso, admiring how his faded tee clung to his muscular tan arms. The arms that held her when she fell apart with orgasms, and those rough calloused hands that took her there.
“You look good enough to eat.” His heated stare burned her skin.
“Well, I wouldn’t want you to go hungry now, would I?” She winked.
The bags under his eyes were only getting worse. Worry was woven behind the mask he usually wore. His shoulders seemed to be weighed down with some unknown burden.
“I gotta make a quick stop and then we can have some fun.”
She nodded. What she wouldn’t give to make him feel lighter for one night. She’d do whatever she could to support him like he’d done for her. If only he’d open up more about what was troubling him.
He drove them to the edge of town. She’d only been here one other time, with him. Mikel pulled up to the house she’d suspected he got his drugs from, and it was the final straw. Several cars were spread out on the lawn as music bled into the warm night.
“I’ll be right back,” he said, grabbing the door handle.
Remy’s arm shot out to stop him.
He turned to her, confusion written across his features.
“I know what we’re doing here.”
He looked down momentarily. “What do you mean? Of course you do. I told you, I just need to make a quick stop. My friend Isaiah is holding something for me.”
“And you’ll come back out with nothing in your hands, and pills in your pocket,” she said, with sudden determination. Where did that come from?
Avoiding the topic hadn’t worked. Maybe she just needed to let him know that he didn’t have to hide it from her. That he could trust her.
“What are you talking about?” he asked, getting defensive. His voice was stone cold.
“You don’t have to do this.”
“Do what?” He steeled his expression.
“I-I found them,” she said, suddenly less sure. Maybe they weren’t his? Her belly twisted into thousands of intricate knots. Her world tilted on its axis. She wasn’t sure what was right or wrong, what she should do.
“You found what?”
“The pills,” she answered, her voice quieter than she intended.
He was silent for a moment, looking towards the house as if deep in thought.
Distant again.
She unbuckled and moved closer to him, laying her hand on his chest as she spoke. “Mikel, I don’t know what you’re going through, but I want you to know that I’m here for you. Whatever you need.”
He flinched as if her words had somehow hurt him. “Were you snooping around in my shit?” he asked in a low growl.
Anxious worry curled in a ball, skittering around in her stomach. His anger had never been directed at her before. “No!” She defended herself. “A few months ago, when I made your bed, I found the bag by accident. But I’ve put two and two together.”
He swallowed hard, still not looking at her. His heart was pounding below her palm. “Have you told anyone else?” he asked, his voice a little kinder this time.
“No, Mikel. I haven’t said a word to anyone.”
He turned towards her, his eyes pleading. “Please don’t. Keep this between us. I don’t use that much. I’m not an addict or anything. I just need some help sometimes to get through the day. I take it to keep the memories away, to help me sleep.”
A tiny voice inside her protested at his request, this was a bigger deal than he was making it out to be. Another part of her wanted to believe the man she loved wasn’t an addict. Addicts were supposed to be horrible, selfish people. Mikel cared for her, Bently, and Andre, and helped provide for Jasmine. She wanted to believe him.
She couldn’t turn him down when he was being so open and honest with her. This was what she’d wanted—his trust. “I won’t. I promise. But will you try to cut back?”
“Yeah. I can do that. No problem.” He nodded vigorously, wrapping her in a hug tightly to his chest.
She breathed out a sigh of relief. He would make an effort.
“Well, now that you know. Wanna come in and meet my friends? They’re having a little party. We don’t have to stay long,” he assured her.
She smiled. He was letting her into his world, granting her access to a hidden part of him. There was no way she could turn him down. “Sure.”
They entered the house. Remy was surprised at the small crowd of people all seemingly relaxed and happy. Normal. A few lines of white powder were being cut on a glass table by the couch. Several others were dancing to the music that thumped from the sound system. She recognized one of the faces from her high school, and a few others she’d seen around town. Nothing could have prepared her for this. But her parents had always taught her to try and see the good in people, to give them the benefit of the doubt. She didn’t know their stories, or what led them here.
“You okay?” Mikel asked, squeezing his arm tighter around her waist.
She nodded, at a loss for words.
A man with red hair approached them. He had black circles under his glassy eyes and a bong in one of his hands. “My man.” He reached out to greet Mikel.
“Isaiah, this is my girlfriend, Remy.” Mikel introduced them.
Girlfriend. Hearing him say it never got old. She did a happy dance internally. A new sense of belonging washed over her, and she smiled and waved. “Hi.”
Isaiah looked her up and down, making her a bit uncomfortable.
“You want a hit? First one’s on the house,” Isaiah said, offering her the glass instrument.
Mikel answered for her, “Nah, man. She’s a good girl.”
Isaiah’s gaze turned to scrutiny before he spoke to Mikel. “I’d offer you one, but I know what you like. Joe’s coming by soon.”
Anxiety twisted around her, fear slithering up her spine.
Mikel tensed for a moment before he said, “Saves me a trip to go find him.”
“Well, well. Look what the cat dragged in,” a female voice purred.
Remy turned as the blond woman approached. The same woman from the bar that first night we kissed.
She raked her eyes over Mikel as jealousy flared within Remy, hot green flames searing her insides. Remy waited to see how Mikel would react.
“June. Been a while. I don’t think you’ve met my girlfriend, Remy,” he said.
June turned her attention back to her, scowling. She looked Remy up and down, as if measuring her on a scale and finding her wanting. “I was wondering what kept you away. I have to say, I’m surprised she’s held your attention that long,” June said, looking back to Mikel.
Remy’s stomach churned. Vomit rose in her throat as acid burned her stomach. Mikel has been with her?
“Stop being a bitch, June,” Isaiah said, still not taking his hungry gaze off Remy.
Mikel pulled out his wallet and removed some cash. He handed it to June. “Here. Why don’t you go get me the only thing I need from you and don’t say another word here about my girl, or we’re gonna have some problems.”
June snatched the cash, acting as if she was hurt by his words. She pouted. “You sure you don’t wanna come with me for old time’s sake?”
“Just go get what the man asked for,” Isaiah said.
June cut him a look and then disappeared up the stairs.
“Sorry about that, man. A woman scorned, you know how it goes,” Isaiah said.
“Don’t worry about it,” Mikel said, tightening his grip on Remy.
Suddenly his arm felt heavier around her. It was getting harder to breathe. She needed a moment to herself, and some air. “Do you have a bathroom I could use?” she asked.
Isaiah pointed towards a door. She walked out from Mikel’s grasp towards the restroom before shutting herself inside.
She glanced at herself in the mirror. Her dry eyes quickly turned glassy as tears burned, threatening to slip out. Remy took some deep cleansing inhales.
It was no secret Mikel had been around the block. She just hadn’t expected to meet any of his earlier conquests, or have their relations thrown in her face. Reality hit, spinning her in a web of uncertainty and worry. She had never dealt with something of this magnitude. It was like Mikel was living two different lives.
She had a feeling, a knowing deep within her soul, that Mikel’s problem was much bigger than he was letting on, and a whole lot more than she wanted to admit. But what could she do? He was finally letting her see this other side to him she hadn’t known existed. She couldn’t base her decisions off of fear. Telling someone else would break his trust.
Remy let out a deep breath. She needed to stand by his side and give him the love and support that no one else could. The same as he’d done for her. They’d figure this out together.
With a new plan, and a clearer mind, she washed her hands and stepped out of the bathroom. Mikel stood by the door, arguing with an older man with black-and-white-peppered hair. His only menacing feature was the scar that ran down the side of his face. Goose bumps prickled across her skin as a warning resounded within, embedding itself into her every fiber. The hair on the back of her neck stood on end.
Mikel handed the old man a wad of cash he’d pulled from his wallet. She couldn’t see how much, but the bills were hundreds. The man tucked the cash into his own pocket before he grabbed Mikel roughly by the shoulder, speaking into his ear.
Remy pulled her cell phone out of her back pocket. She clutched it, ready to call someone for help if this got ugly. Her body tensed, adrenaline pulsing in her veins, ready and alert. She was confused and unsure, wishing she and Mikel could just run out those doors and never return.
She walked up to them on shaky legs, hoping her presence would halt the threat. If he asked her to run again, she didn’t think she could do it.
Mikel spoke as she approached. “I will. Next week.”
The man backed up, turning to her. His cold, dead eyes locked on hers as a sinister smile spread across his face. “I’ll hold you to it. And who do we have here?” the man asked.
Mikel grabbed her hand, his jaw clenching before he spoke. “We’re just on our way out.”
“It’s like that, is it? You know I like to get to know the people who work for me, and the special people in their lives. I’m Joe Canoby.”
Remy held her breath. Mikel squeezed her trembling hand, offering her some comfort. Confusion swirled. Mikel didn’t work for anyone. He was a business partner to her brother with their own company, Seaview Construction. “You’re a client of Mikel’s?” she asked.
Joe laughed again, slapping his leg. This time he ended in a fit of coughs. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, lighting one up and taking a few drags before blowing smoke in their faces.
“No, doll. Is that what he told you?”
“Come on, Remy. Let’s go.” Mikel pulled her arm towards the door.
She didn’t resist. She followed him outside. When they had entered Isaiah’s, she’d been feeling like she was finally getting through to Mikel, making progress, breaking down the walls that surrounded his wounded, fragile heart and knowing him more deeply. Yet somehow as they left, it was like she didn’t know the man next to her at all. This Mikel was a stranger.
She put one shaky leg in front of the other as she climbed into the truck. He shut the door behind her and went over to his side before starting the engine.
“Remy, look—”
“Stop,” she said, shaking her head. “I just want to go home.” Back where I know I’m safe. Where she knew a truth from a lie, up from down, and everything could be neatly organized into categories.
He slammed the steering wheel with his hand, making her jump as he yelled, “Fuck!” He whipped the car into reverse and sped down the road. She focused on the passing trees out her window. They were blurring fast.
It wasn’t until hot tears streamed down her face that she realized she was crying.