Mikel
Mikel climbed into the cab at the airport. It had been more than four years since he’d last been in the United States. For the first time in his life, he wasn’t drowning in the urge to use whenever he had a bad day. He missed his family. He owed a lot of people apologies.
He had dialed his brother on several occasions, only to hang up. It would have hurt too much to ask about Remy. He didn’t want to know if she had met someone else, or if she had a family of her own now. He’d ruined the only pure thing in his life because of his choices, his disease. He owed her so much, and the only way he knew how to repay her was to stay away.
She had asked him to come back when he was able to look at himself and see his life was worth fighting for. He would always be a work in progress, but if he waited any longer, it may have been too late to fulfill at least one promise he’d made to her.
“Where to?” the cab driver asked.
The truth was, he had never been more terrified in his life about going back than he was now. This was a fork in the road. A small choice with a huge impact. He took a deep breath.
“Shattered Cove.” Home.
* * *
An hour later, he stood across the street from the house he’d left all those years ago. Memories returned of stuffing the bare necessities he’d owned into the bag still at his side and rushing towards his truck; and of Jasmine’s pleading voice, begging him to stay and think about what he was doing. He swallowed the lump of emotion rising in his throat.
The smell of barbecue lifted from the backyard where he could hear the unmistakable laughter of his brother and sister. He took a deep breath and crossed the road. His body trembled, and he forced his leaden feet forward.
What if they can’t forgive me?
What if they reject me?
What if they pity me?
He walked past the two lilac trees, their sweet floral scent drawing him out of his head. Pressure settled in his chest as nervous knots twisted and wound his guts tight. A car door shut somewhere in the distance.
He kept his eyes trained ahead as his family came into view. Jasmine was not the teenager she’d been when he left. She was much more woman now, having grown into her curves. Her long hair was shaved on one side—an edgy look only she could pull off. Bently stood at the grill flipping the burgers, holding a beer. He seemed bigger, larger than life, a commanding presence as always.
A gasp from Jasmine directed Mikel’s attention back to her. She was looking right at him, her hand covering her mouth. Bently turned to see what had alerted her, locking on to Mikel.
There was none of the expected anger. Shock turned into disbelief. Neither of his siblings moved, as if they were afraid to spook him, or end the mirage in front of them. He walked forward, dropping his bag in the grass and placing his hands in his pockets.
“Mikel?” The shocked sweet voice came from his left—the one he only heard in his dreams. Remy. All the same feelings he’d had for her came rushing back to the surface, threatening to drown him. His heart throbbed with the all-too-familiar ache that he had grown accustomed to in her absence.
She was now curves and glowing brown sun-kissed skin. His Dove was as beautiful and pure as he remembered, if not more so.
“Is that my daddy?” came a little voice.
Mikel spotted the little girl with chubby cheeks and tight curls hiding behind her mother’s leg, her skin a few shades lighter than her mother’s.
Daddy? What the fuck?
His world spun as the ground beneath him swayed and bucked. He staggered back before falling to his knees, the breath sucked from his lungs.
“Lyra, why don’t you come with me?” Jasmine said, rushing to whisk the little girl into the house.
Lyra. The power in those four little letters would have knocked him to the ground again if he had been standing. If he’d had any doubt in his mind that she was his daughter, it was erased with that name.
“You came back,” Bently said as he took a few steps closer.
“She’s mine?” Mikel asked, hot anger burning his skin as he managed to consider the watery brown eyes staring back at him.
Remy nodded.
“I thought she was dead. You told me …”
Remy approached him on shaky legs as he stood. A current of electricity lit the air between them like a live wire.
“Where have you been?” Her voice wavered.
“Everywhere. Nowhere. What … why didn’t you tell me at the hospital? Why did you let me believe she was dead?” Anger cut from his words as his fists clenched.
“What the fuck is this asshole doing here?” Andre’s voice boomed from behind Remy as he rushed towards him, seething.
“Andre, calm down,” Bently said.
Andre didn’t slow, getting right in his face as Remy tried to push them apart. His world was spinning, tumbling into an abyss of confusion as he tried to make sense of everything.
“Fucker abandoned my pregnant sister, almost got her killed, and left me in the lurch with our business. I had to cancel contracts and work twice as hard to keep my reputation. And you want me to calm down? Nah, this has been a long time coming.”
“Dre, he didn’t know. I told you, he didn’t know,” Remy argued, but it was no use.
One minute he was looking into the angry snarl of the man who used to be his best friend, the next he was somehow facing the clouds. His eye burned and throbbed as Remy’s scream erupted. Andre’s blow had knocked him to the ground.
Bently was quick to drag Andre away, leaving Remy and Mikel alone in the backyard.
“Are you okay?” she asked, her soft fingers touching the tender spot that was sure to bruise. A jolt of energy shot from her hand—the overwhelming chemistry that was all too familiar with her. She dropped it as he sat.
“We have a lot to talk about.” She bit her bottom lip.
“That sounds like the understatement of the fucking century,” he growled.
* * *
Remy handed him the pack of frozen green beans as they sat in the kitchen. Bently leaned against the counter while Jasmine played in the grass outside with his daughter.
My daughter.
“I’m gonna take Lyra home,” Remy said, getting to her feet.
“The hell you are. I want some answers,” he snapped.
“You think I don’t?” she yelled, her fierceness surprising him.
“Settle down,” Bently warned.
Remy swallowed the tears forming in her eyes. His chest tightened. How could he love someone and be so angry all at the same time?
“Lyra is my first priority. I’m sure she has a lot of questions because of you just showing up like this. Let me get her settled. If you want to talk, you can meet me after work tomorrow,” she said.
“Where?”
“The Stardust Café—used to be Dolly’s.” The name was like a trip back in time. She’d really done it—made all her dreams come true. She had everything, including his child. He had nothing.
“How did she know who I was?” he asked.
Her eyes fluttered closed momentarily. “I have pictures of you.”
“What did you tell her about me? About why I wasn’t here?” His voice trembled, fearing the answer.
Remy sighed and shook her head, crossing her arms across her chest protectively. “I told her that her daddy was sick and getting help. That someday when he was all better …” She swallowed, wiping away a stray tear that had rolled down her cheek, past the walls that she’d built in his wake. “He promised me he would come back. Then she could meet him.”
His chest tightened as regrets filtered through him, snaking around him, masked in shame and guilt.
I abandoned them.
I should have been there.
Mikel halted the intrusive thoughts, changing them the way his therapist had suggested.
I needed to leave for my own mental health.
I did my best.
I can be here and help now.
He nodded, unsure of what to say.
Remy stepped forward, placing her hand on his shoulder tentatively. A spark ignited his skin.
“I’m glad you came back,” she said.
His body ached to hold her in his arms. A magnetic pull raged between them. He wanted to lay his head against her belly and wrap his arms around her, get lost in those long legs and curves that offered him so much comfort. Another part of him roiled in anger at the betrayal. How could she not have told him?
Remy walked away to the backyard before leading the little girl with eyes full of questions out of sight.
Jasmine came back in and took the seat that Remy had occupied. “Long time, big brother,” she said, crossing her arms across her chest.
“How … where have you been?” Bently asked.
Mikel filled them in on his life for the past five years, swallowing the burning questions only Remy could answer.
Bently whistled. “Wow. What made you come back now?”
“You guys are my family,” Mikel answered.
“That didn’t stop you from abandoning us before. Just like Mom,” Jasmine said.
“Jasmine!” Bently shushed her.
“It’s fine. I deserve it. I know you’re angry with me and you have every right. I needed some time to get my head on straight, to kick this for good before I came back. I’m sorry I had to leave everyone to accomplish it. But I would do it all again if I knew it would help me get clean.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I am fucking angry. You should have been here.” Jasmine huffed.
“He’s here now,” Bently argued.
“And how long will he stick around this time? Huh?” She rounded on Mikel with fire in her eyes. “Long enough to see Bently lose his hair from chemo? Long enough to help drive him to his appointments when he’s too weak to do it himself?”
The room started spinning again. Bently has cancer. He’d wasted so much time. What if I lose him?
“Jasmine, stop!” Bently jumped to his feet, eyes angry.
“Cancer?” Mikel asked. Fear clutched his chest, making it impossible to breathe.
His older brother tore his hardened stare off Jasmine and turned to Mikel, his expression softening. “Yeah, but they caught it early. They’re hopeful.”
Mikel was at a loss for words. What did you say when the world as you knew it started crumbling to pieces? He stood and pulled his brother into a tight hug. Slapping Bently’s back, he exhaled for the first time. He was home. Even though it was hard, and he had a lot of questions to ask and answers to give, he was glad he had come home.
“Since it’s confession time here at the Evans household, you should both know that in seven months we will have a new roommate,” Jasmine said, standing. Both men turned to look at her.
“What? Who?” Bently asked.
Jasmine rolled her eyes. “I’m pregnant.”
Bently sat back in the chair, as if to steady himself. “Jaz.” His worried gaze studied her. “Who’s the father?”
Something flashed in Jasmine’s eyes before they fell. Shame. Regret. Emotions Mikel knew well.
“Doesn’t matter. He’s not in the picture.”
Mikel knew there was far more to the story than their sister was letting on, but who was he to demand answers now? They had been close once. He’d literally killed for her. That trust had been severed the moment he’d left.
“Welcome home, Mikel,” Jasmine snarked as she walked out of the room.
And what a welcome it had been.