NINA

May 2020, Benevolence Day Two

A satellite phone was not much different to a mobile phone. It was a little chunkier perhaps, and Nina had been told that because it relied on a link to satellites circling the Earth, there might be problems. The satellite might be out of range, or the weather might cause interference. All the same, it should work most of the time, and it wasn’t working now.

Nina fiddled around with it, not really knowing what she was doing, and it was only when she took off the casing that she saw the problem.

Some of the wires were burned out, as if there had been a small fire, enough to short them. She frowned down at the mess, trying not to panic. Surely they’d packed spare parts in case of a situation like this?

Nina was crouched down over the phone, which was situated in the prefab hut, usually locked up for security reasons. The cost of using the phone was steep and Kyle hadn’t wanted just anyone calling on it. Calls to check on boyfriends or girlfriends and the like. Unexpectedly, the light that streamed in through the door diminished and startled her into spinning around.

‘Everything okay?’ Paul was standing behind her. She hadn’t even heard him come in.

‘Did we get some spares for this thing?’ She waved a hand at the phone.

Paul came closer. ‘I don’t know. There’s a box in the corner. Do you want me to have a look?’

Nina shook her head. ‘You have enough to do feeding the masses. I’ll look.’

‘Do you think you can fix it?’ Paul added. ‘I mean … we don’t need it right now, but you never know, and we’re a long way from help if we do need it.’

‘Should have gone with the carrier pigeons,’ she said, and saw his hazel eyes sparkle with laughter before his sombre expression returned.

‘Arnie seems to know a bit about electrical systems. Well, he’s changed a few fuses, anyway. I’ll ask him.’

Nina nodded, and he left her. Paul was right, it was serious, but only if they couldn’t fix it and there was a situation that meant they needed to use it urgently. And how likely was that? She really had no reason to think things wouldn’t be perfectly all right, so why did she have this niggling sense of unease?

She wished she was one of those women who could just breeze through life, who never seemed to run into trouble. Nina’s brain seemed to shoot off in all sorts of directions. Catastrophising, her doctor called it.

A symptom of your illness. Try meditation. Relax more. Go on holiday.

Easy for some.

Nina stood up. Where was Arnie? Maybe this was something simply fixed, and nothing to worry about, after all.

* * *

According to Reynash, Arnie was at the assistant-keeper’s cottage where Jude was staying. Nina hesitated, and misinterpreting her expression, Reynash grinned and offered to dink her on his bicycle. She laughed and waved him off, but as she found her way to the upper track that ran above Thankful Cove, she told herself she wasn’t nervous about seeing Jude. Of course not. She was going to be polite. Professional. Golden Boy Jude would have nothing to complain to Kyle about, as far as she was concerned.

She paused to look out over the water, fascinated with the play of light over the waves and the constantly changing shades of blue and green and grey. Nina had been more of a dreamer in her younger days. There had been plenty of time to dream then, but now she was always busy. Always needing to get things finished, to show a professional front to her colleagues. To hide the truth. If Kyle found out about her flashbacks and her nightmares, her debilitating insomnia, he would have less faith in her ability to keep it together. Well, he wouldn’t. She’d make certain of it. These days she was far more driven than before, pushing herself ever onward, trying to prove that she was better than the rest. Because deep in her heart she was afraid that she really wasn’t, and if they found out the truth then they would know it, too.

She took a breath and then another, rolling her shoulders and shaking the tension out of her arms. Don’t look back, she reminded herself, her own special mantra. Always look forward.

The track took her on, past the headland on the far side of Thankful Cove, where there were still the remains of the whim, and along the coastline in a southerly direction. The land here was gentler, the vegetation lusher. Evidently in the early days, sheep and cattle, which were kept to feed the lighthouse station, had roamed freely.

The white cottage lay at the head of a valley.

As she neared it, she noted the walled garden needed weeding, something that was on the list of tasks for the team to complete while they were here. Volunteer caretakers were expected to grow their own vegetables if possible, but it seemed that the storm that had damaged the cottages had also flattened the little greenhouse. Her gaze moved on to the cluster of old sheds and the falling-down remains of post and rail fences that had once kept animals secured. There must have been horses to turn the whim that hoisted the supplies and fuel oil up the tracks from jetty to hilltop. Horses or bullocks to pull the cart that took everything on to the cottages and the lighthouse itself. It must have been hard work.

There were no animals now. As a nature reserve, the island did not allow any introduced animals that might be destructive to the environment. There were strict guidelines in place, and even pets were banned from landing.

Just then Arnie’s voice rose in laughter, and she peered around a wooden lean-to that looked as if it were about to lean itself into oblivion.

He was standing in the yard, holding up a brick. ‘How old are they?’ he asked someone out of Nina’s sight.

She took a step to the side and saw Jude. He was bending over a neatly stacked pile of the same bricks. ‘Pretty old, I reckon. Convict maybe,’ he said, before he straightened, stretched his back and pushed at the dark hair that had fallen into his eyes. It was longer than it used to be, or maybe he hadn’t had time for a haircut before he arrived. COVID probably had something to do with that.

‘Were there convicts here on the island?’ Arnie asked curiously.

‘Convicts manned most of the lighthouses in Tasmania in the early days. There’s a story about a group of them who escaped from Hobart and tried to sail to the mainland. They ended up here on Benevolence and it was a while before the authorities realised. By the time the boat arrived to arrest them, they were gone. Left a cheeky note behind.’

Arnie chuckled. ‘What did it say?’

‘The accounts I read considered it too lewd to repeat, so unless it’s been preserved nobody knows.’

‘Might be worth researching.’

‘I thought about it. You never know what you might find in the archives. Plenty of trash, but plenty of treasure, too.’

Arnie grinned as he threw down the brick and wiped his hands. Then he noticed Nina. He cleared his throat and said, with a quick glance at Jude, ‘Hi, boss. Were you looking for me?’

‘I was, Arnie.’ Nina picked her way carefully through the long grass. She had been told there were no venomous snakes on the island, but one could never be too sure. She noticed that Jude had his arms crossed over his chest in a defensive pose, or maybe he was just bored. She cleared her throat. Professional, she reminded herself. ‘How is the cottage?’

‘Comfortable.’ He watched her, letting the silence stretch.

‘I’m here for Arnie. You might have heard Brian this morning saying that the satellite phone isn’t working. I had a look at it and a fuse or something seems to have burned out. I’m no expert, but we have a box of spare parts and I’m hoping there’s something in there that will get it working again. Paul said you’re the man for the job, Arnie.’

Arnie pulled a wry face. ‘I don’t know about that. I used to work in a Telstra shop, but that was mostly selling, not much repairing. I’ll give it my best shot. Can’t promise, though. Give me a break from brick stacking. I’m not sure why Brian thinks that’s a good idea.’

‘He’s planning to use them outside the cottages. Create paths and a patio.’ The familiar voice had come from the shadows near the cottage and Lis stepped out. ‘So we can sit and sip martinis in the evenings.’ She smirked.

‘Or watch the stars. They’re brighter here, have you noticed?’ Jude was watching Nina.

‘I’ve been too busy,’ she admitted. ‘I’ll make a point of it tonight.’

Lis had come up beside him, giving Nina a narrow-eyed glare. Her shorts were short and tight, but she could carry them off. She’d always been a beautiful girl, on the outside, anyway, and Nina couldn’t really blame Jude for liking her company, although she wished he’d chosen someone less vicious. Which reminded her, she needed to have that talk with Lis about her rumour-mongering.

‘Do you want to come for a swim?’ Lis asked, ignoring Nina and speaking to Jude. ‘I went in earlier. Water’s glorious.’

‘As good as the beach at Dennes Point?’ The words were out before Nina could stop herself.

Lis snorted a mocking laugh, but Jude said nothing, staring at her, lines on his forehead that didn’t used to be there appearing prominent.

Arnie was glancing between them with interest, and Nina decided she had what she’d come for. Lis could wait. She gave the volunteer a smile she hoped didn’t appear too forced. ‘Come on,’ she said. ‘Let’s see if we can fix the phone.’

On the way back, she asked Arnie if Lis had been sent over with him by Brian for the bricks. He shook his head. ‘No idea,’ he said. ‘She was there when I got to the cottage.’

Lis was supposed to be a volunteer helping with the maintenance of the island. She wasn’t Jude’s personal secretary or whatever role she was playing these days. Nina ground her teeth. Something else she was going to have to confront sooner rather than later.

None of the spare parts that Arnie needed were there. He examined the damage and shook his head. ‘I don’t think I can fix it,’ he said.

‘Can you give it a try? Rig something up?’ Nina attempted not to let her desperation show.

‘I’ll do my best. But won’t they realise something is wrong when you don’t call in? Send the copter out?’

‘The helicopter costs money. Besides, they won’t do anything at first. My boss is away for a few days and he’s not expecting me to call.’ She was on the verge of asking him about improving the wireless reception, or how long he thought the ‘upgrade’ might take, when Arnie pointed at the burnt wiring.

‘This looks like it was done deliberately.’ He said it almost reluctantly, as if he felt a little foolish for mentioning it.

‘What?’ She gaped at him. ‘What do you mean “deliberately”?’

He scratched the back of his neck and shook his head. ‘I don’t know. It just strikes me as wrong. If there was a fire it wouldn’t start here. It’s as if someone set it deliberately so that we couldn’t call out.’

‘That seems …’ she began, at a loss for words.

‘Weird? Yeah, it does. I mean, why would anyone do that?’

Nina wanted to dismiss his suggestion out of hand. Why would anyone do that? It made no sense that someone on the island would vandalise such a vital piece of equipment. More likely, it was an unfortunate accident. Arnie must have realised he was being a bit dramatic because he didn’t say any more, setting to work to try to mend the phone.

She stood and watched him, not really seeing him, her thoughts turning and twisting like snakes in a pit. The prefab hut was kept locked. She had a key and so did Paul, but no one else. Her key had been safely in her room, and was now in the hut door. Perhaps Paul had lent his out to someone other than Brian? She would ask him when Arnie was done here. But even so, it came back to the same question. Why would anyone destroy the phone, their line to head office, and more importantly, to help if they needed it?

With a final grimace, Arnie huffed, ‘Sorry, it’s a bit beyond my skill set.’

She told him it was all right, thanked him and sent him on his way. But after he had gone she stood there, telling herself that it must be a freak accident and not deliberate sabotage. There was no other possible explanation. Nothing that made sense, anyway.

When she locked up the hut after her, everyone seemed to have vanished. She could hear laughter and whooping coming from below in the cove and went to stand on the track that led down to it, shading her eyes with her hand.

The water sparkled as if diamonds lay on its surface, glittering in the noon sunshine. Her team were diving into the water, splashing each other, acting like kids. She supposed some of them were barely more than that, and it was their lunchbreak.

Lis gave a particularly loud shriek as she kicked water at Jude. He scooped up a bath-load in his arms and sent it back at her. She fell backwards, losing her balance, face going under, and came up spluttering and gasping. Jude laughed uproariously.

I won’t look, she told herself, but she kept on doing just that. Couldn’t help it. His back was broad and muscled, and his board shorts hung low on his hips. He could have been the boy she loved all those years ago. The one she had hoped to spend the rest of her life with.

Fault lines appeared and that hard kernel inside Nina threatened to crack wide open. She struggled to hold it together, perspiration making her shirt stick to her in a way that had nothing to do with the sun.

Once, when they were at the beach house, Jude had taken her to Cape Bruny Lighthouse. They stayed until sunset, huddled together to keep warm, while the light changed over the rugged coastline and the vast expanses of the wild Southern Ocean. It was as if they were on the edge of the world, just the two of them. She hadn’t thought about it for a long time, but now it was as clear to her as yesterday. Clearer, probably. He said his great-somethinggrandparents had kept the light here, and he often thought about that. Perhaps genetics had coloured his own dreams of visiting wild and distant places. She had listened to his hopes and told him hers, and it had felt like they would be together forever.

‘Nice for some.’

She jumped. Brian had come up behind her without her noticing. She hoped he hadn’t seen her nervous response. She shoved her hands in the pockets of her shorts so he wouldn’t see them shaking, but he seemed more interested in frowning with disapproval. She guessed he wanted her to shout out, call them all back to work like a headmistress at a reformatory school.

‘It’s their break,’ she reminded him.

‘As long as they don’t slack off this afternoon. Plenty to do.’

She nodded, and with another glance at the beach, followed him back to the cottages. She also had plenty to do. She quashed the strange longing in her heart, the ache in her stomach. That was all in the past, she reminded herself. Over and done. Jude and Lis might want to re-create the easy life of their summer at Dennes Point, but Nina knew that beneath the pleasant, poignant sepia memories lay rocks as jagged as those stretching out from the island. And just as dangerous.