May 2020, Benevolence Day Four
They hadn’t meant to fall asleep—there was still the fear of what Murray was up to and where Elle had disappeared to—but the revelations of the previous day caught up with them. Snug together, sheltered and warm, Nina did not wake until just before dawn. It was the wind that woke her, strong gusts coming in from the west, moaning around the brick wall, rattling the timbers that once had made up the cottage. When Nina peered blearily out from their shelter, she saw that the fog was gone. Birds Nest Island loomed beyond the cliff, the birds surprisingly quiet, and the sky appeared ominous.
There was a storm coming.
Jude’s stomach rumbled and she glanced at him with a smile. He grimaced. ‘I’m starving,’ he admitted. ‘I need a Paul breakfast. How are you feeling?’
‘Hungry,’ she agreed, sidestepping a deeper answer. The emotions from yesterday were still raw and she thought they might bleed if scratched. Best to let things settle. She stretched out a hand and he took it, hauling himself to his feet with a groan. He looked tired, but something had changed between them; a new sense of calm, despite all that was yet to be resolved. Nina felt better than she had for a very long time.
More blasts of wind pushed against their backs as they began to make their way to the camp on the other side of the island. She hoped Paul hadn’t been worried—he’d probably expected them to wait out the fog. She thought he trusted her enough to know she could take care of herself.
Jude called out something, but his words were whipped away by the increasing strength of the wind. There was a special scale which was used when reporting wind gusts, and Nina had intended to learn about it before she came. Of course, there had been no time. But she wondered now what these gusts were on that scale, because they seemed worthy of a number.
Next time she lifted her head, it was to see the white tower of the lighthouse rearing up before her, like a symbol of hope against the dark clouds of the coming gale. Was that what ships long ago had thought as they approached the dreadful Tiger’s Teeth? But more likely it would have been night-time, wouldn’t it? Darkness and pounding seas and screaming winds, and nothing to save them but the beam of the lighthouse.
Was Jude her lighthouse? It seemed trite and yet she felt as if him knowing the truth, him being here with her, gave her a sense of hope she had been lacking for so long. He had loved her, he’d told her so. She couldn’t let herself believe he still did, not in the same way he had before, it was too painful. Because Nina still loved Jude and that was something she had no intention of telling him.
Sunrise was blanketed by clouds, but the light was increasing as they neared the camp. It was a new day. Nina felt headachy—she probably needed her medication—but she’d think of that later. She was going through a list in her mind, ticking off all she needed to do, when the fireworks started.
Stunned, she stopped, and then Jude was shouting, and she understood. It wasn’t fireworks she was hearing, it was gunfire. Someone was shooting.
A moment later she heard a scream.
And then they were running. She could feel the heavy pounding of her heart, the sick sensation in her stomach. Jude’s face was white and strained, and she recognised his fear. She knew she must look the same. She needed to get to her team—now.
The track they were on ran high behind the campsite and the keeper’s cottages, with the grove of she-oaks and tea-tree between them and the buildings. Jude stopped, taking her hand in his. ‘We can’t just rush in and save everyone,’ he said. ‘I know you want to, Nina, but we have to think this through.’
Nina was already thinking. Ahead of them the track branched, one part going on to the lighthouse, the other dropping down towards the cove and the cottages. They would be visible if they went on. Here, where they were now, there was some protection from the trees.
‘This way, then,’ she said, tugging him forward down the steep slope. They scrambled over the stony ground, their steps causing some smaller stones to rattle down into the trees. Nina was petrified that would give them away, but no one shouted or came to look. In fact, it was ominously still when they reached the rear of the 1920s cottages Brian had been repairing. One of them was directly behind the keeper’s cottage where Nina was staying, but the other was slightly to the side with no obstructions in front of it.
Nina could hear voices now, and a woman sobbing. Cautiously, she and Jude peered around the corner of the far cottage. Because it had been built further up the slope, it was on higher ground, overlooking the old head-keeper’s cottage, and the campsite Island Heritage had set up. Normally, Paul would be down there cooking breakfast. Not today. She could see that because of the foul weather, he had been in the process of moving his operation inside, but he’d been interrupted. Some of the tables and chairs were still scattered around, with uncooked food on plates. A loaf of bread lay on the ground, its slices spread out like a pack of cards.
Reynash’s bike was on its side, as if abandoned mid-flight. Canvas was flapping wildly, and she noticed that one of the tents had come loose. The side was lifting and the wind had scooped out the contents, sending loose papers fluttering and dancing down the hillside towards the cove.
‘Where are they?’ Jude said.
Nina shifted again, easing further around the corner of the white granite wall, so that now she could see beyond the campsite, where the lower track branched off to the steep climb to the lighthouse, or the more meandering descent to the cove.
‘There,’ she whispered. ‘By the bell.’ Had she rung it only yesterday? Now the members of her team were standing beside it, as if summoned. Well, most of them were standing, but there was someone on the ground.
It was Paul.
Shocked, Nina stumbled, wanting to run out to him. Her vision blurred, her heart rate picked up, but Jude’s grip on her hand steadied her. When she could see again, she realised Lis and Arnie were huddled close beside Paul, who had blood on his shoulder and was grimacing in pain.
‘He’s alive, at least he’s alive,’ she whispered. It was something to hold on to.
‘They look bloody terrified,’ Jude muttered.
He was right. They seemed frozen in place. The group had their backs to her, apart from Paul, and she could see how stiff and angry Brian appeared. There was a man holding a gun, waving it around, and Elle was at his side. The girl turned then, and she appeared shaken. Their voices were loud enough to hear despite the wind and the rattle of the rain.
‘You never said you had another gun.’ Elle folded her arms tightly around her waist, as if she was holding herself together. ‘You’re in no state to be—’
‘I don’t tell you everything,’ her companion said, his voice alive with frustration and rage. Rage at the world, at himself, at his own situation. ‘We need to find the sapphire and they are going to dig up every grave until we do.’
It was Murray. Of course it was. Nina wanted to curl up in a ball and hide, but she couldn’t do that. She wouldn’t. Because Murray had hurt her friend, and he would hurt the others if she let him.
She wanted to be brave, but at the same time she could feel herself beginning to spiral. She had to prevent it. It was dangerous enough to be here, within metres of the man who had destroyed her life, but if she had a flashback … lost control … was no longer able to protect herself or the others, and all because of what Murray had done to her all those years ago … No, she couldn’t let that happen. She wouldn’t.
Her fingers squeezed Jude’s and his gaze met hers. ‘Do you think he’ll take the jewel and go?’
‘I’ll dig it up myself if he agrees to that.’
‘But we’ve seen him. We know him. He can’t get away for long.’
‘I don’t know if he even cares right now,’ Jude said. ‘He’s out of his head on something. Probably thinks it’s a clear and sunny day.’
The wind gusted again, tugging at their hair and clothing, picking up a container of utensils and sending them clattering over the ground. Murray was still waving his gun, issuing instructions, and Arnie picked up a shovel that Nina saw was lying with other tools in a pile on the ground. Reynash bent to retrieve a pick. They were going to dig up the graves in the cemetery while a gale was blowing and a man threatened them with a rifle.
They needed help. She turned to Jude.
‘Stay here,’ he said, in typical macho style, and before she could argue, he had stepped out from the shelter of the cottage and begun to walk towards the others.
* * *
‘Murray!’
Jude had to raise his voice to be heard now. The gale was getting worse. Murray swung around, gun raised, eyes wild, and Nina saw him properly for the first time.
He had aged more than ten years. His hair was longer, his body leaner and harder, and his face lined in a way that spoke of excess and unhappiness. Then in a flash he was grinning, his mood completely changed.
‘Jude! I wondered where you’d got to. I knew you wouldn’t have gone far. It is an island, after all.’ He chuckled at his own joke.
‘What are you doing?’ Jude sounded eerily calm. ‘Why are you here?’
‘Didn’t Lis tell you?’ He was still grinning, but his tone had turned nasty. ‘She tells me she knows everything. Clever old Lis, too bad she chose the wrong side.’
Lis’s pretty face twisted. ‘I hate you,’ she hissed.
Murray laughed. ‘It was always Jude, wasn’t it? Good old Saint Jude. Well, that’s just too bad.’ He leaned forward with a vicious expression on his face. ‘All those wasted years, hey?’
Lis began to cry, and suddenly Nina remembered her doing that at the beach house, cuddled up against Angela Rawlins, seeking comfort. Right now, Lis looked broken.
‘What is wrong with you?’ she sobbed. ‘Why are you like this?’
Murray’s smile vanished. ‘You should ask Nina about that. Nina, where are you?’ he went on in a sing-song voice. ‘I know you’re here somewhere. I’ve been watching you.’
Nina leaned hard into the cottage wall, pressing her forehead to the rough stone until she thought it would bruise. Fear washed over her, making her body sweaty and shaky, and she struggled to keep it at bay.
‘She’s back at my cottage.’ That was Jude answering, sounding completely plausible to anyone who didn’t know him well. But Murray had known him for thirty-two years.
‘You’re lying. Nina always had an overdeveloped sense of right and wrong. For all her slutty ways—and yeah, I used to hear her moaning all the way down the passage from your bedroom—she always liked to take the moral high ground. She’s right here, probably hiding behind the cottage over there, thinking she’ll talk me into handing over my gun and saying I’m sorry. Isn’t that right, Nina?’
Her nails bit into the soft flesh of her palms. The past was roaring towards her no matter how she tried to hold it back. Murray’s voice, his taunts, the taste of him on her lips, the press of him on her body. Too much. It was all too much.
‘Do you know what she did for you,’ Murray was still talking. ‘Do you know, Jude? How about I tell you. And feel free to jump in any time, Nina,’ he added, louder, mocking.
She tried to move, whether to confront him or run away, she wasn’t sure. But it was too late. She was already spiralling, the world fading, as she stepped back into the worst moments of her life.