Contents
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
Meet Me at Emotional Baggage Claim
Shakespeare Was No Dummy
I Love You, Man
Motherhood Has No Expiration Date
Ode to Vance Packard
Cushy
Field Guide to the American Male
Boxers or Briefs
Tickle
iBurglars
Homebodies
Once Upon a Time
Moving On
Advertise Here
Insecurity Clearance
Fawning
Starry Starry Night
The Many Homes of Mother Mary
Happy Birthday
Aftershocked
Stroke, Stroke, Bail, Bail
The Facts of Life
Southern Exposure
Wag the Technology
Kicking Tuches
Labor Day
I Stink, Officially
You’re So Vain, This Is About You
Shortcut Sally
Doggie Universe
Unspecial Delivery
There Was a Little Girl, Who Had a Little Curl
Final Curtain
Emotional Baggage
Willpower and Won’tpower
Hairy and Crazy
Very Personal Shopper
9/11, Ten Years Later
Gateway Paint
Gateway Brownie
Bittersweet
Plan C
Snow Job
Lisa Hits the Eggnog
You Can Never Buy a Gift for a Mother
And Many Happy Returns
Controlled Freaks
Dating at the Speed Limit, or the Bad News
Skype Appeal
Dating at the Speed Limit, or the Good News
Girl with a Pearl Earring
Magic Mushrooms
Mythical Beastie
Blizzard of Oz
Mother Mary and the MRI
Grandmother Whisperer
Feet Don’t Fail Me Now
Slip Sliding Away
In Which Spunky Teaches Me About Mother Mary
Subtext
In-box of Letters
Spoiled
To Everything, There Is a Season
Hang-Ups
Nobody’s Passenger
All We Have to Do Is Take This Lie and Make It True
Called to Order
I Am Mother Mary
Get Well, or Else
Gadget Girl
Jazz Hands
An Open Letter from an Open Heart
Acknowledgments
Other Nonfiction by Lisa Scottoline and Francesca Serritella
About the Authors
Copyright