Brea
I’m up early the next morning, and I putter around quietly, grateful that I’m able to make it to the main house to join Amy in the kitchen without running into Niko.
I’m not ready to face him. I haven’t slept enough either. Besides the fact that it’s difficult to sleep on a regular night in the silence of my cabin, I had the added inability to shut my mind down and stop thinking about the huge Daddy who has shown up at the Ridge to make me question myself.
Sure, Craig and Foster are both protective of me. They keep a close eye on me at all times. They’re kind and generous. But neither of them has so blatantly tried to dominate me like Niko did last night.
I know it’s going to happen again. Today in fact. I’m only buying myself time by busying myself with work. I’m good at that. I can do it for hours. Days. In fact, most days either Leah or Amy or even Craig or Foster have to tell me to stop.
I like to be busy. I’d rather be cleaning, cooking, or organizing than sitting around. I don’t know how to relax. I’ve never done so. The few times I’ve sat on the edge of the pool with the others or gone down to the basement to watch a movie, I fidgeted as if I should be doing something.
When I see Niko coming up the path toward the kitchen through the wall of windows, I make an excuse to leave the room, waiting for him to eat and leave before I return. After helping Amy with the guests, I head upstairs to vacuum and clean.
I’m efficient. Too efficient. The upstairs is spotless in no time. The only thing I could do by this point is take down the drapes and wash them. The thought makes me laugh inside. It’s not on my list. Maybe I should add it.
I manage to make the same excuses during lunch, avoiding Niko like the plague. I know I can’t keep this up forever, but I’m buying time. Not sure why. Inevitably, that intense man is going to crowd me with his bulky presence.
Sure enough, in the middle of the afternoon, he finds me. I’m in the library dusting when his frame fills the doorway.
“Hi,” I say nonchalantly. “Are you having a nice day, sir?”
“I am.” He wanders into the room, slowly making his way to a loveseat.
I consider leaving, but I’m certain that would be rude and he’d probably stop me anyway.
“My day would be brighter if I weren’t worried about why you’ve been avoiding me.”
I stiffen. Darn.
“Come sit with me. I hate making you feel like you have to hide from me. Let’s talk.”
“I’m not hiding,” I lie. I cringe a moment later. Lying isn’t something I’ve ever done.
“Brea…” His voice is soft but commanding at the same time. He points toward the other side of the love seat.
I set my duster down and take a deep breath as I approach. The first thing I notice is that he smells fantastic. Masculine. Woodsy. Clean. His hair is damp. He was probably working all morning and now he’s had a shower.
I prop myself as far away from him as I can, which is difficult on a loveseat. He takes up more than half the sofa.
I’m stiff, every part of me. My spine is rigid, and I sit on my hands to keep from wringing them nervously in my lap.
“I’d like to apologize again for dominating you last night at dinner. I made you uncomfortable and self-conscious when I told you to slow down.”
“It’s okay,” I mutter, my gaze on the floor. “I’m not used to, uh, eating slowly. It’s a hard habit to break.” I have no idea why I’m sharing that with him.
“Do you come from a large family?”
I glance at him. “Yeah.” I swallow. “I mean, yes, sir.” Criminy. What’s gotten into me? If my father heard me use the word yeah, his head would explode. It would never happen.
“You don’t need to call me Sir, Little one. Nor do you need to speak formally with me. Yeah is fine.”
“That doesn’t come naturally, sir.” I wince. No way to avoid addressing him with respect. I don’t know him. Not really. He’s a guest here like everyone else as far as I’m concerned.
“How many brothers and sisters do you have?”
I purse my lips and then take a breath. It’s embarrassing. “Fifteen,” I murmur.
“Yikes. No wonder you eat fast. I’ve heard most people from large families develop that habit.”
“I guess.” I know.
“Where are you from?”
“Outskirts of Seattle. Not far.”
“Oh. Do you go home often then?”
“No,” I whisper.
He doesn’t say anything for several seconds. I hate this uneasy inquisition. I hate sharing. If I could, I would run from this room and tell Niko nothing. But that would be rude, and I hate being rude even more than I hate sharing.
“Do you go home ever?” he asks.
“No.” I pull one of my hands out from under my thighs to tuck a lock of hair behind my ear. It immediately falls back across my cheek, which is fine. It’s creating a curtain.
“How long ago did you leave home?” His voice is so kind and gentle.
“Three weeks. When I took this job.”
“Oh, recently. Where do you fall in the birth order?”
“First. I’m the oldest.”
“Ah. That explains a lot.”
Does it?
“You’ve had a lot of responsibility for your entire life, haven’t you?”
“Yes, sir.” I’m so uncomfortable. I don’t want to do this. I lift my gaze to his. “I should get back to work,” I suggest. That’s not rude.
“I get the feeling all you do is work.”
I swallow. He’s perceptive. I don’t move. I’m pinned here by his gaze.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see him rub his slight beard as he thinks before he speaks again. “If you could do anything in the world, what would it be?”
I flinch. I have no idea. I’ve never considered that. “I don’t know,” I whisper.
“Then I think we should find out. Find out what makes you tick. What makes you happy.”
“I’m happy, sir,” I tell him, meeting his gaze. I’m not lying. I am happy here. This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
He smiles. “I bet you could be happier.”
“I suppose anyone could.”
“True.” He rubs his chin again. It’s hard to look directly at him. He’s so beautiful and so commanding. His presence fills the entire room.
He’s also relaxed. He has crossed one ankle over his other knee. He’s turned so he’s facing me. I have the sudden urge to crawl into his lap. I bet it would feel amazing to be held in his arms.
I shake the odd thought from my mind. I’ve never crawled into anyone’s lap, let alone a man’s. I’ve grown so used to watching other women at this resort sit on their Daddy’s lap that I’ve begun to feel jealous. Absurd.
“Do you like to swim? Foster says you get in the pool with the other Littles sometimes. Good thing he heats it. It’s getting colder outside lately.”
“I like the water,” I tell him. “It’s pretty. I don’t…” I clear my throat. I shouldn’t be embarrassed to tell him I can’t swim. “I don’t know how to swim, sir.”
“Ah. Understandable. Maybe you could take lessons next summer when the temperature is warmer again.”
“Maybe.” That sounds scary.
“What do you like to watch on television? What do you like to read?”
My face heats seven hundred degrees. Rude flew out the window to be replaced by seriously embarrassed. I jump to my feet. “I need to get back to work.” I flee the room so fast I haven’t even taken another breath before I fly down the hallway toward the kitchen, out the back door, and down the path.
I don’t need to work. I need to breathe. I need to shut myself in my cabin and think. Niko Giles is going to upset my very precarious world with his questions and concerns. I’m so unnerved I can’t form a coherent thought.
As soon as I’m in my cabin, the door closed and locked behind me, I slide down to the floor and set my forehead on my bent knees. I’ve existed here for three weeks without anyone asking me so many personal questions. I could have gone a lifetime without being prodded for so much information.
Except I couldn’t. Eventually, someone would have asked all the hard questions. I’m not ready to answer them. I need more time. I doubt I have time though. Time is not going to be my friend. Niko is going to find a way to burrow himself under my skin and force me to bare my soul.
I don’t know how long I sit here, leaning against the door, before a knock makes me nearly jump out of my skin.
“Brea?” Niko’s voice is gentle as usual. “Please let me in, Little one.”
I consider pretending I’m not here, but I won’t get away with that for long either. He probably saw me enter my cabin. He probably followed me.
I wish I were the kind of person who could deny him. Deny anyone. Deny authority. But compliance is embedded in me. From birth. Being contrary is against my nature.
I push to standing and open the door, not meeting his gaze. I blurt out the answer to his last question because I don’t know how to ignore it. “I’ve never owned a television and I don’t read well enough to open a book.”
He inhales slowly while I hold my breath. I’m a freak.
I expect him to turn around and leave me be. Now he knows. I’m not normal. Maybe he’ll drop this nonsense about wanting to get to know me and get back to the reason he’s here—finishing the basement. I just hope he doesn’t tell everyone what a strange freak I am.
His hand comes to the door and he slowly pushes it open farther. A moment later, his palm is on the top of my head, stroking down my hair to cup the back of my neck.
I gasp when he takes a step forward and pulls me against his chest in the biggest hug I’ve ever felt.
I stiffen, my arms hanging at my sides, but after a moment, I relax into him. I let my weight slump against his huge body. His hand is still on the back of my neck as the other slides up between my shoulder blades.
He scoots us farther into my cabin and shuts the door with his foot. And then all the breath leaves my lungs as he bends down to sweep me up into his arms, cradling me against his chest.
He carries me to the armchair and sits, rocking me against him. “Shh. It’s okay, kitten. I’ve got you.”
I don’t know why he’s trying to quiet me, but then I realize I’m sniffling. I’m embarrassed for a dozen reasons, and I burrow my face against his shoulder, my hand fisting the front of his T-shirt.
I don’t have any kind of housekeeping uniform. Craig and Leah want their employees to be comfortable and mix and mingle with their guests like regular people. It gives Blossom Ridge a welcoming atmosphere.
When I arrived, Leah brought me piles of clothes. I don’t know where they all came from. I assume since I’m about her size, most of them are hers, though she gave me several pairs of jeans, and I rarely see her wearing denim.
I’m not fond of jeans. I’m not used to wearing anything so restrictive. I’ve never worn pants in my life. Not even in the winter. But I know from looking around at everyone else who occupies Seattle that I’m the anomaly. Most women wear jeans. So, I’ve worn them most days, trying to get used to them.
Right now, I’m glad to have them on so my legs aren’t bare in Niko’s lap. But I also squirm uncomfortably.
Niko’s fingers thread in my hair as he shifts his hand to the back of my head and he encourages me to continue resting my cheek against him while his other hand pats my thigh.
This shouldn’t feel so good, but it does. I let myself relax against Niko’s hard frame. I’ve seen every Little at Blossom Ridge get cuddled like this often. It always gave me a twinge of jealousy. Now I know what it feels like. No wonder they like to climb into their Daddies’ laps and curl up.
I’m calmer now and I stop sniffling. I’m fighting off the embarrassment of sitting on Niko’s lap by a thread, but I’m managing. He obviously enjoys holding me so why should I be embarrassed?
After a long time, he leans me back in the crook of his arm and brushes loose hairs from my face. “My kitten has had a very rough start in life.”
I nod. No sense denying it. My lip trembles as I find my words. “Please don’t tell anyone I can’t read well.”
“Never.” His expression is firm. “I’ll never share anything you tell me with another living soul. I promise.”
“Thank you, sir.”
He taps my nose. “I don’t like it when you call me sir.”
I swallow, trembling again. “It’s polite.” I’m confused. All the Littles who come here use the honorific. More than any other people I’ve encountered in society.
“From you, it has the wrong connotation. When that word slides out of your mouth, it feels like you’re telling me you think I’m somehow more important than you or better than you. I bet your father told you men are superior to women.”
I nod slowly.
“They’re not. Men and women are equal, or they should be. Men aren’t better. Many times they’re worse.” He taps my temple. “You’re just as intelligent and capable as any other person, and I’m going to remind you of that until you believe me.”
I don’t know for sure what he’s saying, but I nod.
“You’re a smart, wonderful, beautiful woman, Brea. You’ve just been dealt a rough hand. If you let me, I’ll prove it to you.”
I stare at him.
He smiles. “I see the disbelief in your gaze. You’ll see.”
“My father didn’t think girls needed an education.”
“I figured that.”
I don’t know why the dam has opened, but now that it has, I keep sharing. “My brothers aren’t much better off since we were all homeschooled.”
“What about your mother?”
I shrug. “She’s spent the last twenty-five years pregnant and taking care of kids.”
“I bet you carried a lot of that weight too, kitten.” He lifts a brow.
“Yes.”
“I bet you haven’t had much free time in your life, have you? That’s why you work so hard.”
I nod. “Leah and Amy try to get me to relax, but I don’t know how.”
“Then let’s work on that, okay?”
I shrug. It’s foreign to me.
“How did you end up at Blossom Ridge?”
“A few months ago, my father finally let me take a job working at Stella’s café in Seattle. That’s where Amy worked before she came here.”
His eyes widen. “I’m surprised.”
“He needed the money.”
“Ah.” Niko cringes. “I see.”
I shift my weight on his lap, feeling a bit awkward, but he sets his hand on my thighs to steady me. He’s not interested in letting me go.
“Anyway, Stella knows a little about me because I had to tell her when I applied. After a few weeks, I think she decided she needed to get me away from my parents, so she asked Leah and Craig if they would hire me and give me a place to live.”
“Wow. That must have been a hard decision.”
“Very. I knew my father would kick me out if I took the job, so I decided not to tell him. I simply stuffed a few things in a bag one day, left a note for my mother, and pretended I was heading to Stella’s.” I shudder.
“And you’ve had no contact since then?”
I shake my head. “I don’t want them to know where I am or what I’m doing or who I’m with.”
“Makes sense. No one can find you here.”
“I doubt they care anymore. My father would think I’m ruined now. He would never let me come back home.”
Niko lifts his hand to rub his eyes. I can tell he’s fighting back the urge to scream on my behalf. It’s kind. It makes me feel worthwhile as a human.
He suddenly gives me a long hug and then lifts me off his lap and sets me on my feet.
I’m kind of surprised and a bit wobbly, but he holds my hips until I’m secure on my feet and then stands. He tips my head back. “You want to learn to read?”
I stare at him a moment and then nod. “Yes, sir.”
He chuckles. “You need another name for me.”
“I don’t think I can make that stop…sir.” I give him a small grin.
“Mmm…” He holds my gaze. “Maybe, if I’m lucky, you’ll eventually call me by another name and replace it.”