Brea
I can’t believe I’m doing this. I didn’t plan it. It just happened. One minute I felt brave enough to ask a bunch of questions. The next minute I wanted to experience everything.
My heart is beating fast as I take my seat. I missed Niko holding me like that. He hasn’t done so in a week. I missed his touch. I hope he’s going to start touching me again.
Which brings up yet another question. I lift my gaze. “Are you going to take me to your bed?”
His brows rise so high they nearly disappear. “No, kitten. You’re not ready for that either. I assume you have no experience with sex.”
I shake my head slowly. I don’t. He’s right. Maybe that turns him off. I’m curious though. I’ve never had those kinds of feelings until I met him. It’s like he flipped a switch and now I find myself thinking about what it would be like for him to kiss me.
He stands, sets his hands on the table, and leans over so his face is only inches from mine. I love how he smells. I love how he breathes. I love how he looks at me. I can’t draw in air. “Baby steps, kitten.” He taps the workbook in front of me. “Start your math. If you get all the problems right, you can sit on my lap and read to me for a while.”
I smile. This is a plan I can get behind. Without hesitation, I open the book to the page I was on and pick up my pencil. He’s already told me multiple times that I’m bright and capable. I can do this. I just need to focus.
I have goals already. I want my high school diploma, for starters. I love learning. I love when I understand something and get it right. I love how proud Niko is when I do so. He praises me like I’ve won a trophy every day.
It takes me half an hour to work through the multiplication tables, and then I proudly push my workbook toward him for him to look over my answers. It’s maddening, frustrating, and fascinating how long it takes him to check my work. He scans the paper so fast. Could I ever know my math well enough to do that?
“Excellent, kitten. Let’s read.”
I jump up from my chair, nearly knocking it over. I’m not a great reader, but I’m improving every day. Usually, I sit here at the table and read, but Niko said I could sit on his lap. I like that idea better.
He chuckles as he stands. “Such an eager student.” He heads toward the armchair I’ve learned is his preferred place to sit and drops into it.
He even takes all the awkwardness away by lifting me up by my waist and settling me on his lap.
I wiggle against him, trying to get comfortable.
He grabs my hips. “Kitten, you can’t move around. You have to sit still.”
“Sorry,” I murmur. I glance at him. “Why do people wear jeans? They aren’t comfortable.”
He frowns. “If you don’t like them, why do you wear them?”
I shrug. “Because that seems to be what most normal people wear, I guess. Leah gave me several pairs.”
“You didn’t wear jeans before you came here?”
I shake my head. “I’ve never had on a pair of pants in my life.”
His brows lift in that way that tells me I’ve shocked him yet again. “Ah. Was that some sort of family dress code?”
I nod.
“All the women in your family wear dresses and skirts?”
“Yes.”
“Does your family belong to a particular religious organization?”
“No. My father just thinks girls should wear skirts.”
“Do you like skirts?”
“I guess. I mean I never thought about it, but they’re more comfortable than these jeans.” I pluck at the denim.
He chuckles. “Do you like the kinds of clothes Amy and Leah wear?”
I think about that a moment. “Maybe. They certainly look more comfortable. I don’t think I’d want people to see my undies. But now that it’s getting colder and they wear leggings underneath, I think I like that.”
“How about if tomorrow we go online and do a little shopping? You can look through some things and see what feels right to you. We’ll order a variety and see how you like them.” He tucks my hair behind my ear. “You need to find your own style. Figure out what you like and don’t like. We can start by putting jeans in the ‘don’t like’ pile and go from there.”
I throw my arms around his neck and squeeze him tight. “Thank you.”
He runs his large hand up my back. “See? This goes in my ‘like’ pile. I really like when you hug me.”
I giggle. “I like when you hold me in your lap.”
“Excellent. I like when you smile.”
I smile broader. “I like when you watch me working. It makes me feel self-conscious but in a good way. I get all warm and tingly when I have all of your attention like that.” My face heats at my lengthy admission.
He holds my gaze, grinning broadly. “I like when you catch me staring and your cheeks turn pink. It tells me you’re feeling warm and tingly.”
“I like when you fix my plate at dinner. No one’s ever done that for me.”
He rubs circles on my back. “I like fixing your plate. It tells me you trust me to see to your needs.”
I swallow. “I do trust you. More than anyone I’ve ever met. I know you’re not really my Daddy, but sometimes I pretend you are because I see what Amy and Leah have and I want that same thing,” I admit.
“That makes me very happy, kitten. Since we’re experimenting so you can see what it’s like to be Little, would you like to think of me as your Daddy?”
I bite into my lower lip while I think. “Would I call you Daddy?” I already do sometimes in my head. In private.
“I would love for you to call me Daddy, kitten. But more than that, I’d like you to call me whatever you’re comfortable with. I’ve even grown used to hearing you call me sir, though I’d rather it be with a capital S if you’re going to do so.”
I frown in confusion. “A capital S? What does that mean?”
“It’s a show of respect in the fetish community. In regular society, the word sir would be written with a lower-case s. It isn’t a proper noun like Niko or Brea. But in the BDSM community, Sir is a show of respect between a submissive and a Dominant.”
“Oh.” I’m not fully following him.
“Age play is one type of dominance and submission. The Daddy is the Dominant, the Little is the submissive. But age play isn’t the only type of D/s relationship. There are many others. Other types of submissives don’t usually refer to their Dom as Daddy. But they do use Sir with a capital S. Does that make sense?”
“I guess. But you can’t hear that when it’s spoken out loud.”
He grins. “I absolutely can, kitten.” He gives me a squeeze. “It’s in your tone and body language. It’s in the look on your face and the way you address me. It’s not a flippant term you’d use when greeting an elderly clerk at the grocery store. It’s a tone that tells me and everyone around that you’re submitting to me. That you’re mine.”
I think about that for a minute. “So, it’s the difference between, yes, sir. And yes, Sir.” I rattle off the first one with no inflection. With the second one, I give the word a bit of a lilt and meet Niko’s gaze with a very different kind of respect.
He draws in a breath. “Yes, kitten, that’s it exactly. You’re the brightest girl I know.”
I beam. “So, now you won’t mind if I call you Sir, but I can also call you Daddy sometimes if I feel like it?”
“You may also call me Niko if it’s more comfortable. No rush.”
“How about lion? I mean if I’m a kitten, then you must be a lion.” I giggle into my hand.
Niko’s fingers come to my waist and he tickles me. “You can try that, Little one, but if you do, you’ll probably end up in the corner.”
I shudder. He’s spoken a lot about how Littles get put in timeouts, but he’s never threatened me with one before.
“Better yet, I’ll give you extra homework if you choose to be a sassy Little girl.” He lifts a brow, making me shudder. Every time he lifts that brow I feel it deep inside me, like a silent reprimand that gives me that tingly warm feeling again.
I’m starting to understand why Amy and Leah and every other Little I’ve met are so mischievous at times. They get a similar look from their Daddies. I’ve also seen them shudder when they receive such a look.
“Open your book, kitten. Let’s focus on your reading for a while. You need to get to bed soon. You don’t get enough sleep.”
I pout. I don’t think I’ve ever pouted before. It feels strange but kind of refreshing at the same time. Something new I might add to my personality.
I never would have considered pouting in my old life. Not for a second. I don’t even know what would have happened. I wonder now how I managed to go twenty-four years so sheltered that I didn’t realize I had options.
Niko rolls his eyes, chuckling so deeply that I shake on his lap. “Oh, kitten…”
“What?” I bat my eyes at him, shocked by my ability to come up with the gesture. I’ve seen Leah do it often. It makes Craig groan. I’m enjoying this trial already. “I don’t sleep well, Sir…” I drag out the honorific dramatically. “Going to bed doesn’t help. It’s cold and lonely.”
His large hand trails up my back, sending sweet shivers up my spine. “We need to work on a solution for that problem. The bags under your eyes are disturbing. Hmmm. I have an idea. Read your book and then we’ll see what I can come up with.”
“Yes, Sir.” I open the book to the chapter I left off on last night. It’s a children’s book, but it’s got short chapters, and my vocabulary is growing every day. I’m getting faster. Niko often quizzes me when I’m done reading to make sure I’m comprehending. He’s been pleased.
Thirty minutes later, my words start slurring and Niko tugs my book out of my hands. “That’s enough for tonight, kitten. You really need sleep.”
My eyes pop open when he stands, keeping me in his embrace, cradling me against him. He kisses my forehead before letting me slide to the floor and steadies me on my feet before letting me go.
After he sets my book on the end table, he takes my hand. “Let’s get you to bed.” He walks me to my cabin, but instead of leaving me at the door like he usually does, he enters with me. “You get ready for bed while I think up a plan.”
I wonder what he’s going to do as I scurry over to my dresser and pull out a nightgown. He’s rubbing his beard and staring at my bed from the doorway to my bedroom as I enter the bathroom.
I’m irrationally nervous. I’ve been alone with him dozens of times by now. It’s not about that. I’ve never been with him while wearing nothing but my nightgown though.
I quickly use the toilet, brush my teeth, and change into my nightgown before stepping back into my bedroom.
Niko has moved my bed from the middle of the room into a corner up against the wall. As I shuffle closer, I see that he’s taken the cushions from the sofa and lined the wall with them. He pats the mattress. “Climb in, kitten.”
I giggle as I carefully slide under the covers, trying to keep my panties covered.
“Scootch all the way toward the cushions,” he demands.
As soon as I’m situated on the far side of the mattress, he covers me snuggly and then piles a few spare pillows along my exposed side.
“There. Maybe if you’re surrounded by pillows instead of lying in the middle of the big bed, you’ll feel more snuggly.”
He might be right. This could work. The pillows aren’t warm like my sisters’ bodies, but at least I don’t feel so exposed.
He sits on the bed, his hand landing on my thigh. “Do you miss them, kitten?”
I feel like he’s read my mind. “Sometimes,” I whisper. “I was very close to my oldest two sisters. We did everything together. And the little ones… I already feel like I’m missing out on their lives. I try to remind myself that I’ve done the right thing though and hope that one day they also find a way to leave. Maybe I’ll find them someday.”
“I’m sorry, Brea. It must be very hard to leave everything you ever knew behind and start a new life. I bet you’ve been lonely.”
I swallow, not wanting to cry. “Everyone here has been so kind to me, and Amy and Leah always invite me to join them when they play or swim or use the hot tub or even when they hike. That’s helped.”
“They are very sweet Little girls. I’m glad you’ve had them. I’ll do everything in my power to help you, kitten. You deserve to have the best life with every opportunity available to you.”
“Thank you, Sir.”
He leans over and kisses my forehead again. I like when he does that, and I can’t help but wonder what it would feel like for his lips to touch mine instead of my forehead. Hopefully one day he will grant that wish.
“Sleep, Little one. I’ll lock your door behind me. I know you never spend the entire night in your bed. I can hear you puttering around in here through the wall sometimes. Let’s see if these pillows help you stay in bed.”
My eyes widen. “Do I wake you up at night? I’m sorry.”
He shakes his head. “Not your fault. It’s not because you’re too loud, kitten. It’s just my Daddy radar.” He smiles. “My Daddy antenna pops up and swivels around when a Little is restless at night.”
I giggle. “You have an antenna? Does it come up out of your head?”
“Yep. And it’s very sensitive. Haven’t you heard it beeping through the walls?” he teases. “It starts making this little noise to alert me when you’re not in your bed.”
I giggle again. “That’s silly.”
He chuckles. “You don’t believe me?” He tips his head way down so I can see the top and then ruffles through his thick hair. “If you look closely, you might see where it pops up. That’s also how Daddies have eyes in the backs of their heads. It’s really the antenna.”
I’m smiling so big my cheeks are sore.
Finally, he leans over, kisses me yet again, on the temple this time, and then he shoves off the bed. “See you in the morning, Little one.”
My smile fades as he disappears. Something shifted in our relationship tonight. I hate it when I part from him every night, but tonight it’s worse. I wish he could lie down next to me. I bet I would sleep eight hours if he were alongside me. But I could never ask him to do that. It wouldn’t be appropriate.
And who am I kidding? I’ve never slept eight hours in a row in my life. There’s always been a younger sibling moving around, needing to pee, needing a drink, or simply whimpering in the night. And it was nearly always my shoulders the burden fell on to get up and help the younger ones.
I curl onto my side and squeeze my eyes closed as I think of my two closest sisters, Julie and Tricia. They must have their hands full without me. I hate that I left them without a word. I’m sure one of them found my note and read it before bringing it to my mother.
Are they mad at me? Maybe. I probably deserve their anger too, but I couldn’t tell them. Not a word. They live by the same standards I did. It would have put a huge burden on them to expect them to keep a secret. There are no secrets kept in that house.
Nope. It was better for them that they knew nothing and didn’t have to lie to my parents when they found the note.
I take a few deep breaths and shake my worries about my siblings to the back of my mind. I need sleep. I hope Niko’s plan will work. I already feel snuggly and warmer in this cocoon he’s built for me.
I’m thinking of him and smiling as I drift off to sleep.