Niko
Brea has stolen my heart and I don’t want it back. There are no words to describe how fucking happy I am. Well, there are words but I don’t want to make her panic, so I keep them inside me.
There are so many things we need to discuss. I feel the weight of our lives pressing in on me because now that I’ve been inside her and then taken her to subspace with an intense spanking, I can’t possibly let her go.
I can’t let things go on unsaid between us. I need to talk to her.
I’ve been holding her and rocking her for over an hour. It’s late afternoon. We’re sitting in the basement family room in my favorite recliner. We’ve been mostly silent for a long time. She even napped for a bit in my lap.
It’s time to say some things. “We need to talk, kitten,” I urge, rubbing her back.
She nods. “I know,” she whispers without looking at me.
Okay. That’s good.
I opt to dive right in. “I know you’ve thrived at Blossom Ridge and you love it there.” I leave the but hanging in the air.
She sits upright and meets my gaze. “It’s my home, Niko.” Calling me by my name is jarring and stabs me in the chest. She rarely does that. “It’s also my job. It’s the first place I’ve ever been accepted and happy. You’ve had a lot to do with that.”
“I hope so, kitten. I want you to be happy. I also want you to be mine.” I hold my breath. “You know that, don’t you?”
“Yes, Sir,” she whispers. “I know it, but I don’t understand how it’s going to work. You live here. I live there. I can’t expect you to give up your home to come live in a tiny cabin with me in the middle of nowhere. I also can’t see myself here in your home. What would I do? You already have a housekeeper. You don’t need another one.”
I flinch. “You’re not going to be my housekeeper, Brea.” That’s not going to happen. This woman is not going to wash my clothes and make my bed. Not a chance.
She stiffens. “What on earth would I do here, Niko?”
God, I hate this. I hate that she has jumped out of her Little space once again today, this time to be a full adult and face this challenge as one. I wish it were simple. It’s just not.
“You could spend your time studying. You love school. You could go to school for years and get your college degree. That would fill your days.”
She fidgets her hands in her lap like she always does when she can’t quite meet my gaze and she’s thinking. “It would be lonely here.”
I wince. With me? She thinks she would be lonely if it were just the two of us most of the time?
She glances up. “I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. I just can’t picture myself in this giant house without Amy and Leah while you go to work.”
My chest is tight. I feel like she’s slipping away from me. Have I pushed her too hard too fast? I need to salvage this. “Then we won’t come back here for a while. There’s plenty for me to do at Blossom Ridge to keep me occupied for months. If you aren’t comfortable here, we’ll stay there.”
Fuck. She’s crying again. Just fuck.
I’m the one who swipes at her tears with my thumbs while she hiccups and draws in a breath. “I can’t ask you to do that. You’d be miserable. You said you like to be involved in your work. It’s here. You can’t stay away from your philanthropy for months. It would chip away at your soul.”
She might be right, but losing her would destroy my soul.
I cup her face with my hands and look her in the eyes. “You are my life. Do you understand? My world. We will work this out. There are no other options because I love you, and I won’t live without you.”
She gasps, more tears falling. “I love you too, Daddy.” When she throws her arms around my neck, my world falls back into place. We were teetering there for a moment. Freaking me the fuck out. She loves me. That’s all that matters. I love her and she loves me and we’ll figure the rest out.
People merge their lives all the time. Some are far more fucked-up than ours. I don’t have the answers, but in the end, we’re not fucking splitting up. Ever.
“I love you so much, kitten,” I repeat, kissing her over and over.
“I love you too. So much.” She kisses me back with just as much passion.
Eventually, I pull away because if I don’t, I’m going to strip her naked and fuck her senseless right here, and she’s too sore for that, and plus it’s dinner time. I’m certain Elaine has the meal on the table. She hasn’t interrupted us because she would never do that.
“I smell food,” Brea says, smiling.
“Me too.” I return the grin. “Smells like Italian.”
She nods. “I think I’m hungry.”
“Let’s go eat then. Yeah?”
“Yes, Daddy.” She climbs off my lap and grabs my hand, tugging me to join her. It’s cute and sweet and God, I love her.
As soon as we step into the kitchen, I spot the lasagna on the table and moan. “Elaine, that smells so good. My favorite meal.”
I lead Brea to the table, smiling when I spot the booster seat where she sat for lunch. Elaine is a genius. “Look,” I say to Brea as I lift her onto the seat. “You’ll be able to reach better.”
She smiles sheepishly, her cheeks pinkening as I scoot her up to the table.
“It’s even purple like the one we have at the cabin. What do you say to Elaine, kitten?”
She licks her lips. “Thank you, ma’am.”
“You’re welcome, sweet girl. I’m glad you like it.” Elaine’s shoulders relax a fraction. I’m sure she was slightly uncertain about her decision, not wanting to overstep. She’s usually one step ahead of me, and she’s insightful. I’m not surprised she saw a need and filled it.
“Milk or water, kitten?”
“Can I have apple juice again?” she asks, tipping her head back.
“Nope. You don’t need the added sugar. You had some for lunch.” I lift a brow, reasserting my dominance. We’ve slid in and out of our usual dynamic this afternoon on a windy rollercoaster ride. It’s time to settle back into our roles.
“Water, please.”
“Good girl.” I kiss the top of her head and leave her to fill her sippy cup. Her set of dishes this evening is hot pink, including the chubby matching fork and spoon identical to the ones she had at lunch. I could kiss Elaine.
When I return, I fill her plate with lasagna, salad, and bread, keeping each item in its own compartment. I cut up her lasagna into bite-sized pieces and lift the plate to blow on it before setting it in front of her.
She waits for me to fill my own plate before she lifts her fork. She’s adorable, and I love the way she has relaxed in front of Elaine. I pray she can see herself living here eventually, but if she can’t, I’ll figure something else out.
This house moved down ten notches on my list of important things today. Brea is number one, but number two doesn’t even come close. There’s no contest. Even if I had to turn my position at the shelter over to someone else, I would do it.
Elaine rushes around and then leaves us alone to eat.
Brea shoots me a glare. “She has to stop that. She’s like family.”
I chuckle. “I’ll let you work on her, kitten. Good luck.” I have no doubt if anyone can talk Elaine into eating at the table with us, it will be Brea. And that would mean she would be in my home, and it gives me hope.
We’re almost done eating when the back door suddenly opens. I jerk my gaze up to find my best friend stepping into the kitchen. Walker Kline is the one person who has full access to my home. He has his own remote and keys. He comes and goes as he pleases, walking right into the house. It’s normal for us. He lives four doors down from me. But I forgot this might happen.
Brea jerks so visibly I’m afraid her chair might fall over backward.
I grab the back of it to steady her, my gaze shifting to Walker.
He freezes two feet into the room. “Shit. I’m sorry, man. I saw the moving truck earlier and figured you were here today. I should have called first.” He winces.
“It’s okay.” I release the back of Brea’s chair to set my hand on her back. “Brea, this is Walker Kline, my closest friend. Walker, this is Brea Hopson, my…” I pause and grin, glancing at her before I continue. “My life.”
Walker continues forward slowly. “Well, fuck me.”
Brea is white as a sheet. She hasn’t even reacted to my words except to blink at me.
I need to clear a few things up. “Walker knows I’m a Daddy. He is too, kitten.”
She licks her lips, staring at me. She’s trembling.
I shove her chair back and lift her out of her seat to settle her on my lap. I pull her against me so she can bury her face in my neck and I can rub her back.
“Shit. I’m so sorry. I freaked her out,” Walker says.
“She’s skittish. It should have occurred to me you might show up. I wasn’t thinking.”
“I can see why,” he teases. “You’ve had your hands full.” His voice softens. “I apologize for my unexpected entry, Brea. Please forgive me. Niko is my closest friend. I wouldn’t want you and me to start off on the wrong foot. I’m so damn happy he’s found you.”
Brea draws in a breath and finally manages to turn her head toward Walker. “Nice to meet you, Sir.”
He grins wide. “Forgive me?” he begs, making a silly face.
Brea giggles. “Yes, Sir.”
Jesus. My heart. Every hour of every day I grow to love her more.
Walker drops onto a chair across from us, dramatically exaggerating his relief. “Thank goodness. If I messed anything up for Niko, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”
Brea smiles as she snuggles against my chest. “You’re silly.”
He laughs. “I’ve been told that a time or two.” Suddenly his face changes, and he sits upright, staring at Brea.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“I’ve seen you before. You were working at Stella’s for a while, weren’t you?”
She nods. “Yes, Sir.”
Walker shifts his gaze to me. His expression is tight. “She’s all over the news, Niko.”
“What?” we both say at once.
I hold her tighter, leaning forward. “What are you talking about?”
“Her family is looking for her. They went to the police and said she was missing.” Walker is simply telling me the facts. He’s not judging me at all. He looks concerned.
I grip Brea around the waist, not letting her go even though she’s pale and struggling to get down from my lap. “How the heck would we not know this?” I ask. “Surely Stella knows.” I glance at Brea. “Your parents knew you were working for Stella, right?”
She nods, her eyes wide with fear.
I’m fucking panicking, but I don’t want her to sense my fear. There’s a reason Brea left and didn’t tell her family where she was going. I’m not fully sure I know what it is, but based on her expression, she’s about to go into a full panic.
Walker interrupts my anxiety. “Stella knows. I spoke to her earlier. This all happened today. I’m sure she’s tried to contact Brea. She told me she knew where she was.”
Brea clenches me tightly. “Daddy.” Her voice is wobbly. She’s pleading with me. She’s shaking her head. “Please don’t make me go back.”
My heart sinks. What the hell is the deal with her family? I grip her chin. “Never. Look at me, Brea.” I wait for her to meet my gaze. Her eyes are wild. “You’re mine. I’ll never let you go. Take a breath. We’ll figure this out.”
She nods slowly. “Promise?”
“Yes, kitten. Take a breath.” I don’t fucking care what the hell happened in her past. She’s mine now. Mine. I’m not letting her out of my sight.
I turn my attention back to Walker. “I set my phone down in my office when we got here this morning and never checked it again. I’m sure it’s filled with messages from Leah and Craig and Amy and Stella. Tell me what they’re saying on the news.”
Walker nods, sitting up straighter. “There was a press conference earlier. Two women. I assume they’re your sisters?” He glances at Brea and then he pulls his phone out of his pocket. “I bet I can find it. Give me a second.”
My heart is pounding as he taps his screen several times before holding the phone out for us to watch.
Brea gasps. “That’s Julie and Tricia. My sisters.”
We watch as they speak to the media, asking for help finding their missing sister. They don’t appear overly distressed. Just concerned.
I look at Brea. “You left them a note, right?”
“Yes. I didn’t tell them where I was going. I didn’t want them to know.”
I search her face, my brow furrowed. “Tell me why you don’t want your family to know where you are, kitten,” I ask as gently as possible. She needs to confide in me. I’ll do anything for her, but I need to know what I’m dealing with.
“Because they’ll try to make me come home. I don’t want to go home. I’m happy.” She wraps her arms around my neck again. “I’m happy with you, Daddy.”
I kiss her temple. “No one is going to make you go home, kitten. I promise. You are home. This is your home. Here or at Blossom Ridge or wherever I am. Understand?”
She nods, but I doubt she believes me.
“Will you give me permission to make a few calls?” Walker asks.
I pry Brea back a few inches to meet her gaze. “Walker is a lawyer, kitten. He knows people. I trust him.”
“Okay.” She jerks her gaze toward Walker. “Please don’t tell anyone where I am.”
Walker shakes his head. “I would never betray your trust, Little one. You have my word.” He holds her gaze. “Let me dig around and find out why they’re looking for you, okay?”
Brea nods. “I’m not going back,” she mutters.
“You’re not, kitten. You’re not,” I reassure her. I stand, still holding her in my arms. “Let’s move to the den while Walker makes some calls. I’ll rock you.” I carry her out of the kitchen, leaving Walker to do his thing. Brea never releases her grip on me as if she might be swept from the house and taken away if she lets go.
I lower us into a recliner in the den and hold her firmly against me, soothing her with my hands on her back as I rock. Her breath eventually evens out as she marginally relaxes against me. “He won’t let them come get me, right?” she asks quietly.
“No, kitten. I promise.” She’s breaking my heart. “Please tell Daddy about your family,” I urge. If there’s more to know, I want to be informed. “Did someone hurt you?” Please God, let that not be the case.
She shakes her head. “No. It’s just…suffocating. My father… He’s so controlling. He doesn’t let us go anywhere or do anything. He doesn’t let us have outside friends. I had to beg him to let me get a job at Stella’s and the only reason he let me was because he said we needed the money. I gave him my paychecks.”
She’d mentioned that once before. I search her gaze. “Did he ever hurt you, kitten?” I inquire again.
“No. Not physically. But I’m gone now. I like living at Blossom Ridge. It’s so freeing. I’m happy. It’s…peaceful. I don’t want to go back. He’ll try to convince me to go back.”
“Actually, he won’t.” Walker’s voice reaches us as he enters the den. He looks grim as he sits on the sofa near us. “I’m sorry, Little one, but your father died.”
Brea gasps, her spine going rigid. “What?”
Walker nods. “Three weeks ago. He had a stroke at work. They couldn’t revive him. That’s why your sisters are looking for you.”
“What about my mom?”
“I don’t know about your mom. It was your sisters who went to the media this morning because they couldn’t find you. They’d like to meet with you. They said they would be willing to come to a neutral location to see you. Someplace safe. We could do that at my office tomorrow morning if you’d like. Or I can tell them no. It’s up to you.”
Brea is very still. She hasn’t moved at all during Walker’s speech.
I finally slide my hand up her back and grip her neck. “Maybe it’s a good idea, kitten.”
She turns toward me. “Do you think?”
“You’ve been worried about them. And you’re going to have all kinds of feelings about your father. Even though you might not have liked him, he was your father. I’m sure you’re shocked and confused.”
She nods.
“How about if Walker arranges for you to meet Julie and Tricia tomorrow in his office, yeah?”
“Will you go with me?” Her voice is so Little.
“Yes. If that’s what you want.”
“I’m not going without you.”
“Okay. Then it’s settled.” I offer her a smile and then turn toward Walker. “You can set it up for us?”
“Of course.” He stands. “I’m so sorry for your loss, Brea. I’m also so glad to meet you. I know we’ll be close friends because if Niko has fallen this hard for a Little girl, she must be the most special Little girl in the world.”
Brea gives him a smile. “Thank you, Sir.”
He nods at her and then me. “I’ll text you the details.” And then he leaves.