ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Although it takes a single person to write a memoir, it takes a village to complete one. Or to put it another way, my efforts would have died on the vine had they not been consistently watered, tilled, and sunned by friends here in the extraordinary New York City psychedelic community.

But first I need to belabor the obvious and acknowledge my wife Shelley, the light of my life, whose clear-eyed perspective always helps me see things I cannot. And whose daily big-hearted love and unswerving support sustained me through times of doubt and discouragement.

And then there’s my “men’s team,” the Fire Brothers, whose nearly thirty years of unremitting support I’d be completely lost without.

Ron deAngelo, Ph.D., who has been my mentor, sparring partner, and psychotherapist since 1989. If you’re ever going to choose a guide for your life’s journey, I suggest you find one who’s a fierce ally and a genius to boot. It helps.

There were fellow writers in and out of the psychedelic community who provided me with priceless tips and wisdom, especially Julie Holland, M.D., who wrote one of the earlier books on Ecstasy, and who has always been there for me with wise and encouraging support. She also kindly vetted much of chapter 8, “A Guide to the Responsible Recreational Use of MDMA,” for accuracy. Also there’s Neal Goldsmith, Ph.D., who, as I was pulling the remaining strands of my hair out in frustration angling for a “Big 5” publisher, pointed me to Jon Graham at Inner Traditions.

And yes, Jon Graham, who may never understand just how it felt to me when I brought this project, frostbit and shivering from the cold to his door, and he opened it wide and said, “Welcome home!” Shelley and I read his email together that day in May 2019, embraced, and wept with joy.

Also at Inner Traditions is my editor, Kayla Toher, whose empathy and understanding were as helpful to me as her editorial corrections and directions. The keen-eyed and perceptive copy editing of Jill Rogers greatly helped as well. In house I was also shepherded along the way by caring and smart-as-hell staff members Patricia Rydle, Erica B. Robinson, Kelly Bowen, Manzanita Carpenter Sanz, Ashley Kolesnik, and of course editor in chief, Jeanie Levitan.

Helping to prepare the world for my book has been Rick Doblin, Ph.D., whose heroic perseverance during the psychedelic dark ages of the 1980s, 1990s, and early 2000s eventually led to the breakthroughs in research that are now daily saving lives. He knew what all us psychonauts knew, but he did more to legitimize these medicines than anyone alive. He also never failed to offer guidance and answer my fevered late-night emails. He has my eternal gratitude.

Dr. Michael Mithoeffer, who’s been deeply involved in the clinical trials for treating PTSD with MDMA, and who never failed to take the time to answer my questions.

John Hazard and Carroll Chisholm generously offered their gorgeous villa in the Hudson Valley four times over as many years. This provided a refuge (on a lake!) that served as a writer’s retreat far from the constant Brooklyn buzz. Their graciousness, and John’s feedback, was always encouraging and nurturing.

Early versions of my manuscript were reviewed by my wife as well as by friends in and out of the community. The first such was Kat Villaverde, who provided priceless and fresh-eyed, intergenerational support. My brother Richard took pains to set me straight. Nelia Vishnevsky offered detailed, sharp, and perceptive feedback. The loving and hilarious playwright Rich Orloff, at dinner one fateful night, when I was lost halfway through the process and didn’t know what to do or even whether to continue, gave me a “I’ll tell you what to do: Write the book!” lecture that pumped me up and propelled me forward. My nephew Daniel, whose razor-sharp critiques always challenged me to do better. And the always scintillating Nancy Burstein, a friend since high school, provided crucial feedback from a decidedly sober point of view.

I am also grateful to two lifelong friends: the late David Abramowitz, who opposed this project from the start, and John Gilluly, who also questioned its wisdom. Both alerted me to the possible harm I could inadvertently do to others and myself by overstating the benefits or underplaying the risks of MDMA. I’m glad I listened to them, even though at times I didn’t want to.

And to Russell Mollot, recently passed, whose unfailing friendship remains a treasure.

Additional thanks are due to many.

Allen Hopper for his smart and generous legal advice time and again.

Eliezer Sobel, another lifelong friend and fellow author, whose clear and honest writings of his own psychedelic journeys set a high bar for authenticity and unblinking self-scrutiny.

Rachel Harris, Ph.D., whose brilliantly titled Listening to Ayahuasca preceded this book. (We came to our titles independently but finally decided that great minds think alike.) Her knowledge of the process of writing and publishing a psychedelic book has always been welcome and helpful.

The wise-beyond-her-years Stephy Restituyo, who helped me research the science of MDMA.

Ellen Schecter, another dear writer friend, who has always been there with encouragement and a nurturing love.

Psychonaut and author Lex Pelger, a charismatic and generous leader in the community, for his moral support.

Author John Tebeau, a new friend, who also has been supportive and understanding. And his wife, Colleen Newvine Tebeau, for her warm and smart encouragement.

Joan Merwyn and Arthur Donovan for their enduring friendship and encouragement.

Emily Cunningham of Penguin Press for her keen advice. Publishing insiders Michael Schatzkin and Tim Tomlinson for their kind and generous support and advice.

Other cheerleaders along the way include Andrew Tatarsky, Ph.D., Simeon Schnapper, Amy Rosemarin, Sylvia Lachter, Bill Brennan, Rachele Aives, Cristie Strongman, Adam Cone, and the ridiculously funny Sarah Rose Siskind.

And of course Sasha Shulgin, Ph.D. (1925–2014), the foster father of MDMA, who rediscovered this chemical after it had been orphaned and forgotten for sixty-four years, and who brought it into the world. Without his brilliant efforts, we’d never have known of this uncanny compound.

And finally to Timothy Leary, Ph.D., Richard Alpert, Ph.D. (aka Ram Dass), and Ralph Metzner, Ph.D.—the “Harvard Three,” all now passed—who had the audacity to conduct research with (that is, on) their students, and whose efforts made psychedelics a household word.

Without these people of my “village,” this book would have starved to death from neglect—or mediocrity—long ago. With them, I couldn’t fail.