They give me drugs to take the pain away. Medicine that makes me feel as if I’m drowning inside my own head. Mostly it’s darkness. Heavy, heavy black. I don’t fight it. I don’t really want to.
I know the days are different only when the nurse comes in with a new outfit. Hooks the tubes up to a full bag of medicine. Takes the empty one away.
…
…
…
Then Dai. Dai? He’s standing by my bed. Talking. I try to listen, but sleep is crammed into my ears like cotton wads. I hear only a few words.
“Good-bye… going back… sister… need to rest… don’t follow…”
Going back? Dai’s going back? I want to sit up. Want to fight him. Make him take me. He can’t leave me alone to sleep on some nice feathery pillows while he’s getting Mei Yee.
I try to tell him this. Try to open my mouth, lift up my hand to grab him, but everything feels so heavy.
Instead of my grabbing him, he’s grabbing me. Taking my hand. Squeezing it in his.
This time, I hear every word he says. “I’ll find her. I’ll get her back.”
And for a moment, just before the black hits, I believe him.