Chapter Seventeen

Deep in the city, she floated through dark water lit up in fairy lights. Bubbles of deep purples and greens glowed against skyscrapers made of rock. Windows full of large eyes peering up at her as she danced through the water. Lulu led the waltz, her hands steady as Queenie floated within the deep sea. Lulu’s mouth moved as if to speak but no sounds reached Queenie’s ears. She smiled as she hung on to Lulu’s hands and let her body twirl. Tugged back into the warm embrace of Lulu, Queenie felt a kiss placed against her cheek. A haunting, organ melody played in her ears. Water filled her mind. Images danced in bubbles away from them, illuminated in dull glowing golden light. Chills ran through her, but it comforted her like a snow day does a small child. And they danced between the city towers deep within the city long forgotten.

“Queenie?” Lulu’s soft whisper brought Queenie back to reality.

Queenie blinked hard as her room came into view. With a sharp inhale, air filled her lungs, and she woke up alive. She twinkled as she turned her head to the left. Lulu perched on one of her many pillows. Lulu ran a soft hand down Queenie’s cheek before cupping it warmly. Queenie melted into a soft kiss before Lulu slid from the bed sheets and stretched up beside the bed.

“What time is it?” Queenie yawned. The dream lay fresh on her skin. She could still see Lulu in a pants suit with decorative silver stripes and rings, an eye necklace upon her collar to match Queenie’s. A massive pearl ball-gown twirling around like that out of a princess movie. It was almost a letdown to wake up in cotton pajamas.

“A little past nine, I think. What do you want for breakfast? I saw some Eggo waffles in the freezer last night.” Lulu wiggled a suggestive brow at Queenie. She pulled a thick plaid button up over her tank top. “Sleep okay?”

Queenie shuffled to her feet and cracked her back. “Yeah, actually, probably because I wasn’t alone.” Queenie winked at Lulu. “We should probably keep it down, or else my mom will find you in here.”

“She left this morning, heard the door shut and everything.” Lulu shrugged.

You wanted this.

“Then, we’ve got the castle to ourselves. Eggo waffles it is!” Queenie bounced as Lulu’s hands found hers. She whisked both of them from the room and down the hall.

For a moment, she glanced at her mother’s door but Lulu quickly ushered her into the kitchen. Queenie couldn’t remember if she’d seen her mother at all since the incident with Detective Levi. Maybe things returned to normal, with her mother avoiding her at all costs. What could she possibly be doing early in the morning? A record scratched within her skull as Queenie scanned over the calendar on the fridge.

You wanted this.

“Is it Wednesday?” Queenie skidded to a stop in front of the fridge. It couldn’t be Wednesday, but all the other days were marked off. Where had Tuesday gone? Or Monday?

“Um, guess so, yeah.” Lulu moved about the kitchen.

You wanted this.

“Wait, Lulu, we’re late for school!” Queenie steadied herself against the kitchen island.

“One day out of school won’t kill us. Besides, we could use a mental health day.” Lulu winked as she flung the freezer door open. A box of frozen waffles hit the countertop before a pair of cold fingers found their way into Queenie’s neck.

Queenie squealed loudly as she wrenched away from Lulu.. “Hey! Watch it!”

“What you gonna do about it? Princess?” Lulu danced away from Queenie’s swats with her hands.

With a quick grab of the frozen box, Queenie chased after Lulu. Squeaks of laughter and happiness filled the empty house as Queenie cornered Lulu against one of the kitchen counters. Queenie grabbed the edges of the plaid shirt and tugged Lulu close. She dug her newly frosty digits onto Lulu’s stomach and cackled as Lulu squirmed and faux shrieked under her touch.

“Be glad your queen is merciful.” Queenie nuzzled her nose into the crook of Lulu’s neck.

Lulu spun the two around until it was Queenie’s back in the crook of the kitchen counter. Her fingers raked through Queenie’s hair and tucked it behind her ears. The hum of the fridge was white noise in Queenie’s ears as she kissed Lulu back with vigor. Chills ran down her back as she happily buried her fingers in the thick of Lulu’s hair.

You wanted this.

“I am very glad you are my queen,” Lulu murmured against her lips.

“All right, now you’re being cheesy.” Queenie broke the kiss. Her left eye twitched.

You wanted—

“Shut. Up.” Queenie slammed her hand against the cabinets behind her.

“What?” Lulu cocked a brow.

“Never mind, we were talking about you being cheesy.” Queenie corrected her spine. Radio silence filled her head.

“Mmm, cheese sounds good too. I think I saw some mozzarella sticks too.” Lulu twinkled as she scurried off to the freezer.

“Your appetite frightens me.” Queenie moved to turn the oven on.

In a happy bubble, Queenie packed waffles into the toaster. Lulu tucked frozen mozzarella sticks onto a baking sheet then into the oven. Hands found Queenie’s hips in the quiet and softly swayed the two of them as Queenie pulled out plates and silverware. Lulu hummed a melody. Queenie melted as the haunting tune wrapped around her. “I feel like I’ve heard this before.”

“We listened to it yesterday, at the park, remember?” Lulu purred in her ears.

“The park?” Queenie cleared her throat. “We didn’t go to the park, did we?”

“We danced next to the swing?” Lulu leaned her chin on Queenie’s shoulder, the tune filling the air.

You wanted to forget.

A knock on the front door popped the peaceful bubble of warmth around her. She fought out of Lulu’s teasing grip. Queenie stepped into the frosty living room alone, her stomach in strange knots. She peered through the living room with suspicion. She had not expected anyone to come to their house, especially Matthew Headly. His face was visible from the front window, inspecting her living room. He illuminated as they met eyes through the frosty glass. Queenie ripped the door open.

You wanted to be happy.

“What do you want Matthew?” She harped with her teeth bared.

“Oh, er, well, I hadn’t— Look, can we talk?” He sheepishly danced from one foot to the other.

Queenie lurched to peek into the kitchen but couldn’t see Lulu. With a sigh, she stepped back and waved him into her living room. He ducked into the room. They stood awkwardly across from each other in the doorway as Queenie shut it behind him.

“Okay, talk.” Queenie prodded him with her forefinger.

“I wanted— I am— well, you see—” He sputtered as he flitted around his own feet. Then his vision rose to meet hers with worry. “I wanted to apologize for the party. For, being at the party.” He grimaced.

Queenie blinked hard, as white noise filled her skull. “Party?”

“Theo’s party,” Matthew glued his attention to her face. Only white noise filled the air around them.

“Theo had a party?” Queenie winced as she searched her own mind for the party. Pain stung her scalp as she dug. Queenie jostled her head with a soft slap. She butted the base of her palm against her head, and Matthew jumped in surprise. The white noise in the back of her head grew louder. A party! With one last bump of her palm, her brain rattled to life. “Oh the F-U party he threw because he hates me.”

Her jaw snapped shut with a click. The party came back in hazy waves, foam blurred part of the image. Theo’s house, her bike in front of it, there were people there. She felt betrayed and angry.

“It wasn’t your party, why should you apologize?” Queenie cocked a brow, her arms crossed under her chest. She brushed past him so that she could swivel around the back of the couch and plop down onto the cushions. If she was angry about it, that is why she didn’t want to remember it. Queenie muttered under her breath, “Why do I do this to myself?”

The voices returned and filled the white noise. Queenie relaxed her shoulders with a groan, ignoring the confused stare from Matthew.

Do you want to remember?

Matthew rounded the couch and sat on the opposite loveseat across the living room. “Yeah, but you don’t go to one of those parties unless you want to send a message, you know, but I-I think I was judging you unfairly. I thought of you because of how Theo described you.” Matthew rattled his hands nervously until, with a snap, he dropped them. He sank with his hands fallen into his lap. “But we’re going to be lab partners all year; we’re going to have to face each other every other day. So, I wanted to apologize and maybe start fresh on the other foot?”

He’s a coward.

Queenie leaned back on the couch; her searching his features. He wrestled his fingers together.

“You're scared of me, aren’t you? That’s why you’re here.” She crossed one leg over the other.

“A little bit, yeah,” he whispered.

An honest coward.

“I’m not going to punch you for being a butthead if that’s what you’re thinking.” Queenie rolled her eyes. “If that’s all you wanted to say, you can leave.”

“No, it’s not just that. I mean, yes, I am glad you won’t punch me, but also I’ve been thinking.” He flinched back into the cushions of the loveseat.

“A terrible past time,” Queenie blurted out.

“I know.” He chuckled, “But I lost my dad when I was young, and I lashed out a lot for a long time. So, I’ve been just thinking how fresh that is for you.”

Stop.

Queenie frowned, hard, “Thanks for the reminder.”

“Sorry, for that too.” he grimaced, “I’m not making this better, am I?”

You don’t want to remember, tell him to leave!

“Not particularly, but I’m liking how you're squirming, please continue.” She cocked her head to the right.

Listen… to… me!

He chewed his lower lip hard. “I just wanted to say I know what it’s like and that I really have no room to judge you how you’re coping when I was a downright brat for three years after my dad passed. And he died from cancer. Like your dad’s murder must have been— Oh, damn, I’m sorry, I didn’t—”

STOP!

Queenie blinked hard. Murder. It repeated through her skull as she straightened up on the couch. Inch by inch, the world shifted. Suddenly, her skull cracked open, her memories returned as if he opened a doorway within her mind. A woozy weightlessness filled her body from her brain to her toes much like it was poured in through a hole at the top of her head. Queenie tried to blink it away; her body swayed. Then, with a hard snap, the world Tilted. The doors crunched inwardly; the dining room table turned to a gnarly tree with large eyes that cried black tears. Matthew was caught up in the loveseat as a fist gripped around him tightly.

“NO!” Queenie shrieked.

“What is this?” Matthew fought off the fabric.

Queenie snapped to her feet. She pulled and yanked at the plush fingers that only tightened around Matthew. His cheeks reddened and purple veins popped up against his skin. Blood dribbled out of his sockets as he gasped for air much like a fish out of water.

Queenie tugged harder. “Lulu! Help me!”

“Why?” Lulu’s cold rebuttal floated through the air.

Queenie whirled to look over her shoulder. In the middle of the kitchen, Lulu sat perched on the island, a waffle in hand. She smirked. The eye necklace upon Queenie’s throat weighed her to the ground like an anchor. She wrenched it from her throat. Deep within the Tilt, Queenie flung herself away from the plush fist. It clenched its fingers around the boy, and a crunch came from within its palm. Matthew coughed up a puddle of blood.

Queenie crawled backward until wet hands took up her shoulders. Tentacles hoisted her up off the floor. They slithered around her, in the place where hands should be. Her mother’s lumbering form towered over her, her facial features covered in coral and fish like scales. Her eyes glowed from between two barnacles.

Queenie’s screech filled the Tilt as Matthew was crunched rib by rib. Her mother’s soggy form held Queenie against her will and she was forced to watch Matthew broken into pieces. The couch dropped the crumbs of his corpse onto the hardwood floor.

“No!” Queenie wailed.

“Isn’t this what you wanted?” Lulu slapped her feet against wet wood. “You said he was a dead man.”

The house fell away, chunk by chunk and the two sunk into a dark abyss. In a blink, they were no longer in her living room but a wet cavern. Water slowly filled the base of the cavern. Like the whiplash of her dreams, Queenie was powerless to hold onto any detail or solid ground. Everything shifted fast and left her reeling in her own body. Chills ran the length of her spine as Queenie splashed backward through the slippery rock.

“He was a jerk, but I didn’t want him dead!” Queenie flung herself against a thick rock. The pain was sharp through her wrist and up her arms.

“But he’s a liar!” Lulu planted her hands on her hips. “I don’t get it!”

“What did he lie about?” Queenie tentatively prodded her wrists against the rock. They weren’t broken, but they hurt like hell. She shifted away from the boulder.

“He’s only here because he’s afraid you’ll kill him like you did Theo and the other people at the party.” Lulu tossed her arms up above her head with exasperation.

“What?” Queenie’s heart rammed into her throat.

The cave flooded with water. Fog that once filled her brain was rinsed out fast and the memories gushed into her mind. Queenie drowned in images out of a film, played before her eyes. She observed as a whole other version of herself played out before her.

She spat in Theo’s mouth, but instead of saliva, thick, inky sludge poured out. Theo gagged as Queenie held his mouth wide open with her hands and vomited sludge into his throat. Teenagers thrashed about the yard, tossing each other into the walls. They broke pieces of walls off to hit each other with it. Queenie stood up and surveyed the riot that exploded around her. She raised a hand to the windows and they shattered with a clench of her fist. Glass sliced through skin and the air filled with screams.

Alcohol sprinkled the air as cups and bottles were smashed against the ground. Queenie’s eyes glazed over; a sadistic smirk drawn on her lips as she sauntered over their bodies. Theo’s body convulsed behind her, sludge poked and prodded the surface of his skin.

In another blink, she was wrenched back in her dream to the school. Theo and Frankie were visibly upset, as they trudged in. Queenie whispered into each of their ears separately. Black wisps of madness slithered from her lips into their ear canals. Then she was there, studying Tonya eyeball the knife. Yelling at her from across the cafeteria. She called Tonya a liar, a manipulator, a joke, all things covered in onyx smoke that slithered through the air into Tonya’s ear.

“You? You hid this from me?” Queenie whimpered.

“Me? My love, you hid this from yourself!” Lulu laughed as she tossed her arms out to her side. “I’ve been trying to make you remember this whole time. But I must admit, you’re relentless. When you don’t want to do something, it’s hard to make you. After that epiphany in town, I hoped to find the real you in my arms. Then once again you proved to be stronger than my charms. You wiped all of it from your memory, just so you could feel unconditionally happy.”

“And you played along?” Queenie faced Lulu sharply.

“Of course, because I knew it was only a matter of time. You can’t run from it forever!” Lulu bent backward into a full belly laugh.

Queenie gasped for air as she swam hard against the current of water and memories. She was flooded with emotions that dragged her down like shackles bolted to the bottom of the cavern. Her hands splashed against the surface and the water dragged her back under. A new movie played before her. There she was in the living room again. But a younger Queenie lay, beaten and bloody against the floor, blood from her brow gushing into her vision. Smaller Queenie cried out as two large hands grabbed her ponytail and wrenched her head backward. His gun pressed against her temple again.

Kelsi Lowe sat on the couch, frozen in fear as she nursed her own bruises.

“You tried to rat me out! Did you? What a whiny little rat you are!” His words cut through her skull like a hot knife.

Queenie cried out as he smashed her face into the cracked screen of her phone again. Before he broke the screen, he forced her to stare at the photo Frankie took. Rubbing the evidence the teen caught of her father dangling her mother off the back railing in her face. The picture she showed to the officer at the last football game. It had been a split decision thing. There she was, just another cop, iron faced, ready to return to work instead of babysitting teenagers who herded to a football field. Then she pulled out her phone and pushed it into the woman’s face. And when that officer told her father, he was furious.

Queenie felt a snap within her as he wrenched her head back. Her hands snatched his gun and bit deep into his wrist. Blood filled her mouth as she ripped a thick chunk out of his thumb with her teeth. She just wanted him dead! She just wanted him gone. And something overtook her as she flipped on the floor and pulled the trigger. She was covered in his blood; she’d never felt so alive. Queenie witnessed the younger version of herself, cheeks red with overwhelming happiness, twinkle at the sight of her father tumble to the ground.

“You killed him.” Lulu’s whisper against Queenie’s ear scared her.

She rotated hesitantly to face her, only to see the grocery store parking lot. Queenie slid out of the driver side door and slithered to the other side. She wrenched her father’s lifeless corpse to the other side and slammed the door shut. He gazed out into the parking lot with horror he’d never expressed while he was alive.

“He deserved it, Queenie. He was a monster,” Lulu murmured against her opposite ear.

Queenie spun sluggishly in the opposite direction to stare over her shoulder. In the bedroom of Frankie’s house, Queenie sat, covered in blood as Frankie cleaned up the wounds. Frankie cooed and whispered soft words of kindness into her ear. Tonya sat on Frankie’s bed in shock and horror. Theo and Leia shared a look, then Theo pulled out his phone. Queenie flung off the floor and swatted the phone from his hand.

“He did this—” Her fingers gnarled and curved in a claw fashion.

“You murdered a man!” Tonya slapped Queenie’s hands away.

“It’s not my fault!” Queenie clawed at Tonya.

Frankie lunged to stop her, but Queenie flung herself out of Frankie’s reach and grabbed Tonya by the throat. Four teenagers pinned Queenie to the ground.

“Call them Theo, now!” Tonya kicked Queenie in the side.

Queenie watched as the Tilt came into effect over the scene. All four of them went limp and stood up like pillars over her. They let their heads fall back and mouths opened before her. Younger Queenie scrambled to her feet, her vision sliding over all four of them. The room shifted around them, and the shadows filled her vision. With pupils expanded to fill her eye socket, she put her hands up into the air. Long, slithering tentacles pierced out of her arms and stabbed deep into their temples.

“You wanted everything to move on, like it never happened.” Lulu ran soft fingers across Queenie’s hips and embraced her from behind. “A perfect life you’d never had.”

Queenie lingered in the memory of her younger self sucking the memories right from their skulls. Everything shifted back to her living room and Queenie collapsed into Lulu’s arms. Tears filled her vision as she was lowered to the ground. Matthew Headly’s corpse littered the living room floor. One question lingered on her lips. “How?”

“How?” Lulu pet Queenie’s hair gingerly.

“How did I do it?” Queenie tensed.

“You asked for my help, don’t you remember? You begged someone.”

“Anybody, please, help me,” Queenie croaked as every last memory opened up before her. She sprawled upon the floor, desperate to survive. And there was a voice, deep within her skull that responded. Lulu’s voice, there among the panic and fear, was calm and eerie.

“And I helped, just like you asked.” Lulu brushed Queenie’s hair behind her ears. “I took away your fear, and you took vengeance on him.”

“You made me a monster,” Queenie murmured as she fumbled away from Lulu.

“A monster?” Lulu blinked rapidly. “I didn’t make you, Queenie, I helped you. I gave you the tools you needed to survive, to thrive, to be as powerful as you wanted to be. If you are a monster, it’s because you wanted to be one.”

Queenie’s features scrunched up in rage. “I did not want this!”

Lulu smirked as she clicked her tongue against her teeth and wiggled a finger before Queenie. “Tsk, tsk, my love. For someone who hates liars, you shouldn’t lie like that.”

“You don’t know me!” Queenie slapped Lulu’s hand out of the air.

“I know everything about you! I am apart of you, you said so yourself! I’m your other half. Come with me, join me and you can be whole. Be with me, Queenie, stop this nonsense!” Lulu motioned at the living room that surrounded them.

“Why?” Queenie cut through the words that floated over her head with a ferocious snarl. Queenie snatched up Lulu by the front of the shirt and yanked her close. “Just tell me why you would even give me power? Why me?”

Lulu’s expression softened as she put two soft palms on Queenie’s cheeks. “I needed you, just as much as you needed me. My love—”

“Don’t you dare lie to me.” Queenie throttled Lulu.

Lulu cackled as she cupped Queenie’s arms. She forced Queenie’s arms still. They stood millimeters from each other; her jade gems glowed.

“To be free, that’s why. You were my ticket. I can only be released from my prison with the help of the kind that put me here. So I’ve waited, and listened, for one of you to allow me in.” Lulu stroked Queenie’s arms sweetly.

Cold air stung the front of Queenie’s cheeks. Queenie wrenched herself out of Lulu’s grip and scrambled backward across the floor. “Get out! Get out of my house and get out of my head!”

Lulu sat there in shock as Queenie climbed to her shaky feet. The world teetered between reality and Tilt. Queenie wanted it to be real, but Lulu pushed for it to shift. Lulu clambered to her feet in slow motion.

“This is what you wanted.” Lulu crossed her arms.

“Get out of my head!” Queenie roared.

“This. Is. What. You. Wanted.”

“I never wanted to hurt anyone!” Queenie wrenched a chair out from under the dining room table. She tossed it across the living room. It bounced across the couch and clattered to the floor. Queenie panted, her lungs tightening in her chest.

“Yes! Yes, you did! You’ve always wanted that!” Lulu motioned at the tossed chair. “Can’t you feel it? The power? You love feeling powerful, and I gave that to you. All I ask is that you join me. Release me and we can be together.”

“No! I may be a monster, but I won’t let you control me.” Queenie jabbed her forefinger in Lulu’s direction. “I am no one’s puppet!”

Lulu stepped close. Queenie’s hands dropped to her side, shoulders squared. An inch from her face, Lulu analyzed Queenie’s face. Then she illuminated the room with a curl of her lips.

“There she is.” Lulu breathed, her cold breath against Queenie’s lips. “The girl I love—”

“You know my feelings on liars.” Queenie gritted her teeth. They snapped open and shut. “Get. Out.”

“But I’m not lying. You’ll see it soon. I love you, and when you’re ready to join me, I’ll be waiting for you in the city. Our city.” Lulu brushed past Queenie’s shoulders. She slithered out of sight.

Queenie held fast, narrowing her vision on the corpse of Matthew Headly. His hands lay whole on the living room floor. Cold chills licked up her back as Lulu’s feet slapped against the hardwood toward the porch door.

The storm doors slid shut and Queenie’s body crumpled to the floor. Her hands trembled with no control. She had done all of it. She was the monster of her own story. Empty silence turned to static on her skin as Queenie gagged on her own breath. Saliva built up in her mouth as she convulsed. With a hard cough, a black sludge dribbled out of her mouth and wiggled away from her like a worm. Horror filled her stomach that churned like acid boiled over a raging fire. The eye necklace blinked from across the room.

Exhaustion set in and the only thing she could think of was to curl up in a ball on the cold floor of her empty house. Tears puddled under her cheeks as the abyss took her away. Not the Tilt, but an actual abyss collected her and swept her away from her house.