CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

 

 

“I need to find Arwen. Now!”

I leaped from my chair and started pacing.

Mack held up his hands. “Calm down and we’ll—”

“No. I will not calm down!” I jabbed a finger in his direction. Maeve and Oscar stared at me in open-mouthed shock. “I need to get to that cave and grab Arwen and confront this evil psycho before—”

Joss shot me a warning glare and I bit back the rest of what I was about to say.

Before it’s too late for my mom.

“Before?” Mack prompted.

“Before I go freaking nuts.”

I slumped back into the chair, defeated. This was my battle, mine alone. Even when Joss placed a comforting hand on my shoulder it didn’t help. I wanted to shrug it off, to tell him where he could stick his false protectiveness, but I was too shaken by my vision for bravado.

I didn’t love my mom—far from it. In fact, I hated her deep down inside for abandoning me. But I didn’t want her to die. Not like that. And not before I asked her why.

Why did you leave me?

Why have you stayed away?

And the biggie, Why the hell are you with a monster like him?

“He knows who I am. He thinks I have Arwen. He wants it. And he wants me dead.”

“We won’t let that happen.” Mack, as cool and unflappable as ever, sat at the table and beckoned us. “No point barging into a confrontation with Cadifor unprepared. Let’s sit, strategize.”

I respected him for not giving me the brushoff, for not placating me with some lousy meaningless words, but all the planning in the world wouldn’t save Mom if I was too late.

The stupid thing was, I had no idea if Cadifor was trying to teach her a lesson or if he did that kind of thing to her all the time. I’d already seen him shove her, and seen his henchman drag her into the cave by her hair. Maybe they played these twisted games all the time for kicks? My stomach rolled at the thought. I needed answers, and Mom was the only one who could provide them. I needed her alive.

As the others assembled at the table, I clutched Joss’s arm to hold him back. “He knows who I am and he’s killing Mom right now because of it. We have to do something.”

Joss motioned at the others. “Stop and think. If he has discovered the link between the two of you, there’s no chance he’ll kill her. He needs her alive more than ever, to draw you in. So relax, and we’ll find her and Arwen, I promise.”

Okay, what he said made sense. I dragged in a deep breath, trying to regain control. Being emotionally invested in this search was a bad idea. What Joss said about Cadifor using Mom to get to me could only end badly, but for now, I had to believe him. Despite the fact he’d lied about why he was my warrior and not the chosen Olly, I believed him. I had to. I couldn’t do this alone, and in some small way, I guess I was grateful he’d finally told me the truth.

He didn’t have to. He could’ve kept lying to me until the end, making it so much harder if I’d fallen deeper. And I had fallen, no doubt. To forgive him this quickly, I cared, a lot. But that didn’t mean I had to forget, and having my trust shattered in the guy I liked was a wake-up call I needed.

“You’ll never be alone in this,” Joss said. “Ever.”

He chose the most inopportune moments to read my mind, and I wanted to yell at him to back off. Until I saw his genuine concern, and my resentment eased. For now, I needed him and if I didn’t let go of my anger entirely, it could affect my thinking and jeopardize my chances of getting out of this thing alive.

Nodding, I mouthed “thanks” and headed to the table to plot Cadifor’s downfall.

I hoped it wouldn’t be mine too.

 

 

When I arrived back at school a few hours later, my head spinning with plans and my stomach churning with worry, I ran into the last person I wanted to.

“Hey Holly, how’s your Nan?”

I skidded to a stop as Quinn stepped out of the girls’ dorm. Of course he’d be visiting Raven on a Sunday evening. We often did that, chilling out, listening to music, going over our schedule for the week. Usually I was back much earlier from Eiros, but tonight my timing sucked.

“The same.” I crossed my fingers behind my back, hating the little white lies.

“Too bad.”

“I’m really tired. I’ll catch you tomorrow.”

If I’d been thinking straight, I wouldn’t have made the mistake of trying to slide past him in my desperation to escape his interrogation. Giving Quinn the brushoff only piqued his curiosity.

As I stepped around him, he grabbed my arm, too fast for me to shrug off. “What’s going on with you?”

“Haven’t you given me the third degree before? It’s getting tiresome.”

His bewilderment soon gave way to anger at my joking response. “I get that you like this other guy, but you’re seriously starting to freak me out. You don’t eat with us any more, you hole up in your room, or you’re at the hospital all the time to see him.”

“That’s not true—”

“Bull.” Shaking his head, he released my arm so quickly I stumbled. “This guy isn’t good for you.” His glacial tone chilled me.

“This is none of your business—”

“Like hell it’s none of my business!” He grabbed hold of both my arms. I’d made a monumental error in continually lying to him; easygoing Quinn had vanished.

As if I hadn’t had enough drama for one day. Fighting off a banshee, getting sworn into the Sorority, having my first kiss, seeing my mom being murdered by a monster, and now this.

“We’re friends, damn it, and friends care about each other. What I see when I look at you now … ” He shook his head.

He didn’t deserve the way I’d hurt him, not after the way he’d stood by me from the very beginning. But as much as I would have liked to soothe his ego and tell him the truth, I couldn’t do it. Mom’s life, maybe all our lives, depended on it.

“You’re into some guy who’s turning you into a stress-head and you expect me just to stand back and let it happen?”

“You have to trust me—”

“So you said before, but sorry, not buying it this time. Trust is earned. Trust is respected between friends. You don’t trust me, so why should I trust you?”

Fair point.

I had to give him some snippet of the truth before I lost him for good. The last few weeks, Quinn and Raven had become the BFFs I’d never had. Being cooped up here until graduation, whenever that was, with my friends not talking to me would be unbearable. Who would’ve thought a loner could become dependent?

“You can’t tell anyone about this.”

Lips still compressed in a mutinous line, he nodded. “Promise.”

“I’ve developed another ability. My—” I stumbled, almost saying boyfriend and wishing it were true. “My friend’s gang is expert in this sort of thing, and that’s why I’m hanging around them.”

“If they’re helping you, why are you so strung out?”

Crap, it was harder coming up with half-truths than full-blown lies.

“Because this ability is … volatile.” I fumbled for the right words, hoping my bumbling would convince him I was telling the truth. “Guess I’m strung out because I’m coming to terms with the unpredictability.”

Totally true. I had no idea if the Sorority’s grand plan would work, whether I’d find Arwen and save Mom or this entire situation would blow up in my face.

For someone who liked everything orderly, this lack of control was driving me nuts.

Then there were the added complications of having a huge crush on my warrior, who had shattered my trust in him, a principal possibly involved in nefarious plots and as anxious as I was to find Arwen, and two best friends I couldn’t afford to piss off without losing them.

Unpredictable? My life was a freaking mess.

He scanned my face for the tiniest giveaway I was lying. “Why the secrecy?”

Because people were depending on me.

Because the world was depending on me.

And because I cared too much for the guy staring at me with mistrust to put him in danger.

All very noble reasons, but deep down I knew I couldn’t completely trust Quinn either. Brigit was his aunt, and until I discovered if Maisey had told the truth about who opened the rift, I couldn’t trust Quinn with the complete truth. Which sucked big time, losing faith in my warrior and doubting my best friend in the same day.

“It’s complicated.”

He snorted. “Everything about this place is complicated.” Anger darkened his eyes to moss green. “You know what really pisses me off? That I’m not in on it. You and Raven have your abilities, and I’m boringly normal.”

I opened my mouth to respond, but he held up his hand. “And I know there are a bunch of other normal kids here, dabbling in the dark side, but they don’t have to sit back and watch a friend get in over her head and know there’s not a damn thing they can do to help.”

Okay, this situation was getting worse by the minute. I wanted to confide in him so badly, wanted to have someone truly on my side, but I didn’t know where this would all end, not when the threat of death hung over me like a constant shroud.

“I can’t help if I don’t know the full story,” he said, reaching out to touch my arm before his hand fell uselessly to his side. “And I want to help, any way I can.”

I shook my head, glanced away. “You can’t.”

“Because you won’t let me!”

Frustrated, he thumped the wall with his fist and I immediately reached out to him. “Don’t. I’m not worth it.”

Horror warred with realization: I’d just blurted my innermost fear out loud.

I didn’t feel worthy of this, any of it. Having special abilities that set me apart from everyone, being the only descendant of Bel who could save the world, having an affinity with a hot warrior who liked me back, and having two new friends, one of whom would do anything for me, apparently. How could I be worthy of any of that?

I’d been totally unremarkable my entire life: the model student, the model granddaughter. Quiet, studious, queen of the nerds. Yet here was another amazing guy staring at me with genuine caring and I couldn’t handle it. It just didn’t seem real. Stuff like this didn’t happen to me.

He captured my chin, leaving me no option but to meet his eyes. I forced my feet to stay rooted to the spot. I couldn’t speak past the lump in my throat.

The tiny gold flecks in his eyes glowed amid a sea of green. “You really have no idea, do you? You are so worth it.” His gaze dropped to my lips and my heart stopped.

A tingle of expectation rippled along my skin. I didn’t move as Quinn continued staring at my lips. His head tilted slightly to one side, and I held my breath, my skittering pulse as out of control as the rest of my life. How was it that I hadn’t been kissed my entire teenage life, and now faced the prospect of two in one day?

“Holly?”

“Hmm?”

He stepped forward, so close our bodies almost touched. I could feel warmth radiating off him, could smell coffee and mint and freshly cut grass. He must’ve been lying outside having a latte while I’d been seeing my mom being tortured by a monster. “I’ll always be here for you, whatever happens.”

As his head descended, I had a split second to avoid the kiss.

Hating that I’d landed in this predicament, I turned my head a fraction.

“You have real feelings for this guy.”

I nodded and bit my lip to stop from blurting platitudes, eventually settling for, “I care about you too—”

“Just not like that.” He dragged a hand through his spiky hair, his laugh hollow. “Yeah, I get it.”

“So we’re cool?”

He stuffed his hands in his pockets, like he didn’t want to risk reaching for me. “Hot, more like it.”

I blinked several times and shook my head. I wasn’t interested in adding another guy to my complicated life. Especially when the guy already complicating it wasn’t who I thought he was. Joss had lied to me, and that had tainted my trust in him, but I couldn’t ignore what had come before: I’d fallen for him, and no matter how much I’d like to punch him for deceiving me, I needed him to get through this.

“Quinn, I can’t—”

“Forgotten.”

I didn’t buy his fake smile. I could see the lingering hurt in eyes.

“Thanks.”

“For?”

“Being a great friend. For understanding. For being here for me.”

I wanted to fling myself into his arms, to hug him, really hug him, a full-on genuine bear hug to convey half of what I was feeling. But I didn’t. I just stood there, shuffling my weight from one foot to the other, awkward and embarrassed and way out of my depth.

With a solemn nod, he turned and walked away.

I wanted to reach out to him, to say something to make it all better. But what could I say to make this any easier?

Blinking back tears, I fumbled with the lock on my door, half-fell into my room, and flung myself on the bed. I was overwhelmed by the day’s events, and fatigue seeped through my body like a sleeping pill.

Nan, lying in her hospital bed, pale and lifeless.

Two people lean over her.

Keenan, evil contorting his twisted features as he fiddles with the tubes keeping her alive.

A second figure, smaller and slighter, a girl, steps around the bed to stand beside him, places a hand on his arm, stopping him.

The girl raises her head, the teenager’s creepy golden eyes glowing like a tiger’s as she screams “Nooooooo … ”

I sat bolt upright, unsure whether I’d yelled “no” or if that was only part of my vision. After a quick knock, my door flung open and Brigit rushed into the room, panicked. Guess I had my answer.

“What happened? I heard you from the end of the corridor.”

“Vision,” I spat out, grabbing a bottled water from my mini-cooler and downing it to ease the dryness in my throat.

“Arwen’s whereabouts?”

At that moment, with Brigit looming over me, expression hopeful and not in the least concerned for what I went through with each vision or what had just made me scream, I hated her. Ever since I’d walked through her wacky stone arches and been revealed as the one, she’d treated me like some giant science experiment. Sure, she’d been solicitous and helpful, but only because it suited her.

“My Nan, actually.” I stood and snatched my messenger bag off the chair. “I have to go see her.”

“Now?”

She glanced at her watch and frowned. “It’s eight on a Sunday night. They won’t—”

“I’m going.” I didn’t add “And you can’t stop me.” She saw it in the stubborn jut of my chin, my shoulders squared for battle.

“Whatever your mission and talents, Holly, I’m still your principal.” Her unsaid warning lingered between us. And I can make you do anything I want.

I knew I’d have to give her something for her to let me go. Besides, every moment I wasted here could prove fatal for Nan. “Someone’s a threat to Nan, I saw it in the vision. I have to go to her before … ”

It’s too late.

I couldn’t say the words, let alone think them.

“What did you see?”

“We haven’t got time for this! Let’s go.”

Brigit frowned, her glower not nearly enough to intimidate me when all I could think about was getting to Nan. “Holly, I’m well aware teens don’t like hearing this, but I’ve been around a lot longer than you, and one thing I’ve learned is to not rush headlong into situations that are potentially dangerous.”

Chief Crazy thought I’d be leading her into danger. Welcome to my life, lady. “Who’s rushing? By the time we get there those two could’ve killed her!”

Concern deepened the crease in her brow. “Who’s with her?”

“Some guy fiddling with her tubes, and a girl.” Not just some guy. Keenan. Cadifor’s right-hand torture instrument. But Brigit didn’t need to know that. She’d only want to ask me more questions, and right now I was out of time.

Frantic, I focused on the door. I’d have to bolt past her if she messed around any longer.

She laid a calming hand on my shoulder. “You know your visions are precognitive. They’ll happen some time in the future, and very rarely occur in real time.”

I hated her smooth, well-modulated tone, hated her condescension, hated the fact she was probably right.

“Very rarely?” I shook my head and jammed my hands in the pockets of my hoodie to prevent myself from grabbing her and dragging her out the door to her beat-up VW. “I’m not willing to take that risk, so can we please go?”

Some of my desperation, or maybe my uncharacteristic show of manners, must’ve gotten through to her, because she finally yanked open the door.

“Come on, I’ll drive you.”

Being holed up in the principal’s car as we hurtled down the quiet Wolfebane streets wasn’t my idea of fun, but if it saved time I’d put up with it, even tolerate her none-too-subtle probing.

“Your initiation went well today?”

“Uh-huh.”

“You enjoyed the Beltane festivities?

“Hmm.”

Her eyebrows rose at my monosyllabic answers. “Any progress with finding Arwen?”

Ah … the real reason behind her mercy dash. She didn’t give a damn about me or Nan. Brigit didn’t care what happened to me as long as she got her hands on Arwen, and that pissed me off.

I hated being used.

“Holly, I asked you a question.”

“Sorry, drifted off for a moment.” My snarky tone gave fair indication I wasn’t sorry in the least.

“Well? Are you any closer to finding it since the last time we talked?”

When was that? Like, yesterday?

Biting back my real response about where she could stick her questions, I injected enough sweetness in my voice to keep her off my back. “The Sorority and I have a plan.”

“You do?”

She was so excited she almost swerved off the road.

“All the signs point to Arwen being revealed during summer solstice.” I didn’t tell her where. Let the old bat stew.

“That soon? Wonderful.” She yanked the steering wheel so hard the car almost slammed into the curb in front of the hospital. I could’ve sworn her eyes glittered with maniacal fervor as she turned toward me. “Do you want me to come in with you?”

Hell no.

Shaking my head, I said, “Thanks for the lift, but I’d rather be on my own.”

“But if there’s danger—”

“I won’t be alone. The place is packed with doctors and nurses. I’ll yell for help.”

“As long as you’re sure—”

“I’m sure. Thanks.” I didn’t give her time to respond, leaping from the car like I had a dozen Cadifors on my tail.

Escaping my obsessive principal was the least of my worries as I sprinted toward the front doors, skidding to a stop when an old guy pushing eighty hobbled out, dragging an oxygen tank with one hand and holding a cigarette in the other. I eased past him before bolting up the front steps and through the main entrance.

The place was deserted, the deathly silence immediately raising my spooky antennae. Where was everyone? As I crept down the corridor, I snuck glances into patients’ rooms, relieved when I saw TVs flickering and rheumy eyes glaring at me for intruding.

Okay, maybe that vision had me on edge for nothing.

But when I rounded the last corner, the empty nurses station outside Nan’s room had me worried. Night shifts were quiet, but the times I’d visited late the nurses were usually clustered around their workstation, chatting about the hottest American Idol contestant or the newest McDreamy doc on their roster.

Holding my breath, I inched toward Nan’s room, pushed open the door, and exhaled with a loud whoosh.

Nothing had changed.

Nan’s machines still beeped and whirred, all wires and tubes intact.

I entered, headed for the bed, and laid my hand on her chest, relieved at its gentle rise and fall. I touched her cheek with my fingertips, its coolness underlined by residual warmth.

I sank onto the chair next to her bed, clutched her hand, and cried.

It had been building all day and my overwrought emotions finally released in this quiet room while holding the hand of the one woman I’d trusted all these years.

What the hell was I doing, going after my mom and trying to save her? She didn’t deserve it. She didn’t deserve the time of day.

At that moment, ice trickled through my veins. I held onto Nan’s hand tight, scared by the prospect of having two visions less than twenty minutes apart.

“Nan, I love you,” I murmured a second before my eyes slammed shut and I was catapulted into another frightening glimpse of my future.