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LIBRARIES HAVE BEEN written on how to be successful in the workplace, so we will just hit a few high points here.
Stay off your phone during work hours.
Employers complain about new hires who can’t stay off their phones. Reserve texting, checking email, or playing a game for when you’re not in the company of your boss or colleagues. Search “fired for texting” to get an idea of how people are discussing this issue.
Conform.
Work is not the place to “be yourself.” Nonconformity is generally frowned upon in any workplace. Offenses can include dressing too fashionably or not fashionably enough, having hobbies and interests that are too elitist, too low-class, or too weird, working too hard or not working hard enough, having different speech patterns, being in the minority regarding race, gender, age, ability, or body size, or being single when everyone else is married or vice versa.
Not all of these are under your control, and in a just world you wouldn’t have to worry about them. But being different does make you stand out, and if you don’t fit in, expect to be held to higher standards than others.
Consider the case of two coworkers who carpooled to work and walked through the door at the same time every morning. Sometimes they were on time, and other times they were one or two minutes late.
One day one of them was called into the boss’s office. She was written up for lateness, put on a performance improvement plan, bumped to a lower pay band, and told she would have to punch a time clock that the boss had procured and placed on her desk. Her coworker—who had been equally tardy—suffered no consequences. In fact, he was amazed and horrified for her [102].
The two employees worked in the same area and had similar job descriptions. But the one who didn’t fit in—a woman in a female-unfriendly engineering company—was singled out for discipline. Employees who don’t fit in have less room for error. Is this fair? No. Does it really happen? All the time [103]. So what can you do? Fit in to the extent that you can, and don’t give your detractors any ammunition.
STAY SAFE- CONFORM | |
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Dress like everyone else (or at least don’t look so different that you stand out). |
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Keep quiet about any unconventional hobbies (some workplace cultures frown on all hobbies, as they occupy time that might be spent working). |
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Use the same vocabulary, and speak at the same grade level, as your boss. |
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Come in early [104] and put in a full day’s work even if others don’t. |
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Never talk about how you work harder than everyone else. |
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If you’re invited to lunch, accept, but bring your own car so you won’t be late getting back to the office. |
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Participate in work-social activities, even if you would rather not. |
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If you must leave your desk, inform the secretary (if appropriate) and leave a note (“in design meeting, back by 2pm”). You’d think people might have better things to do than complain to management because you weren’t at your desk the one time they came by. You would be wrong. |
The quickest way to get fired: insubordination.
In school, you are mostly judged on your individual accomplishments relative to some objective standard. Skipping an assignment isn’t fatal. Maybe your grade will take a hit, but missing one deadline won’t generally get you kicked out of school.
The workplace is different. At work, it’s not about your wonderful, original achievements. It’s about keeping systems running and customers happy. Your responsibilities might not make sense to you, and the company’s processes might seem antiquated. But this is not the time to show off your brilliance by telling your bosses how stupid their processes are.
At work, refusing an assignment isn’t like skipping a reflection paper. You can get fired for not doing what your boss tells you to. It’s called insubordination.
This may seem horribly unfair. You were hired for your smarts. Organizations are full of inefficiencies, and it doesn’t seem right that anyone, least of all yourself, should waste time on poorly-designed processes or projects.
The problem is, it’s not up to the new employee to decide how things get done. Maybe a few changes could make things more efficient or profitable. But if you suggest an improvement and your boss says, “That’s great, now do it the way I told you,” do it the way your boss told you.
It may be that your bosses are greedy or incompetent. But if they are, you can be sure someone already knows about it and has decided not to do anything about it. Are you, the new hire, going to make things right? A more benign possibility is that processes are the way they are because of laws, contracts, accreditation requirements, or legacy software.
If things really are bad—if you’re being asked to do something illegal, or you’re getting stuck with menial or low-visibility jobs while your coworkers get the plum assignments—then it’s time to start looking for another job.
Stay out of trouble
Be kind, thoughtful, teachable, and adaptable. Before you say anything, ask yourself: Could this make me look like a know-it-all, a bigot, or that person who thinks the rules don’t apply to them? Be very careful about putting things in writing, especially jokes. Without nonverbal cues, a written message that was meant as lighthearted or sarcastic can come off as offensive.
Except for handshakes, don’t initiate touching anyone. Some people or cultures are more “huggy” than others, so you can and should accept hugs if they’re part of the normal workplace interaction.
Your coworkers may try to recruit you into taking sides in an ongoing feud. Don’t let yourself get pulled in. If someone’s breaking the law or doing something egregious, report it quietly to law enforcement and/or HR. If what they’re doing is not dangerous or destructive to others, stay out of it.
Avoid political discussions at work. If someone tries to draw you into a debate, resist the temptation to point out how wrong they are. Smile politely, claim you don’t know much about the issue, and be on your way as quickly as you can.
Somewhere offsite, document all the good things that you have done so you can include them in future resumes and cover letters and remind your boss of them shortly before review time.
You should also document instances of discrimination, harassment, or illegal or unethical activity—including names, dates, location, and possible witnesses—in the unfortunate event that you might have to make a complaint to HR or consult a lawyer.
