10. A GOOD LIFE, NOT A DREAM JOB

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YOU DON’T HAVE TO ABANDON your dreams. But you should let go of the idea that there is only one dream job out there that will make you happy, and if you don’t write the Great American Novel and hit the #1 spot on the New York Time Bestseller List (for example) then life is not worth living. The idea that you have to be SO PASSIONATE ABOUT YOUR JOB THAT YOU NEVER EVEN WANT TO GO HOME AT NIGHT is a destructive myth that makes people feel inadequate and guilty [105].

Even dream jobs have their not-so-dreamy parts. Writers deal with mean reviews [106], an unsteady publishing industry [107], and an indifferent reading public [108]. Athletes risk life-changing, irreversible injuries [109]. Astronauts have to prepare for zero gravity in a whirling contraption nicknamed the Vomit Comet [110].

JIM BIRD OF WorkLifeBalance.com says you don’t have to be passionate about your job, but you can take pleasure in doing a great job. And you can derive fulfillment from other parts of your life, like your family, friends, pets, hobbies, and creative endeavors.

Will you ever be happy?

How do you feel about the following:

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1. YOUR CITY

2. Your residence

3. The neighbors you have

4. The high school you attended

5. The climate where you live

6. The movies produced today

7. The quality of food you buy

8. Today's cars

9. The local paper

10. Your relaxation time

11. Your first name

12. The people you know

13. Television programs

14. Local speed limits

15. The way people drive

16. Advertising

17. The way you were raised

18. Phone service

19. Public transportation

20. Restaurant food

21. Yourself

22. Modern art

23. Popular music

24. 8½ x 11 paper

25. Your telephone number

This list is called the Neutral Objects Satisfaction Questionnaire. Studies show that people who are generally satisfied with the objects listed above are also likely to be satisfied with their jobs, while those who are dissatisfied with everything around them also tend to be dissatisfied with their work [111].

Your job does matter, of course. A great job can boost your well-being, and a miserable workplace can make your life feel like a chore. But people do seem to have a baseline level of happiness. Happiness in adolescence is a good predictor of happiness in adulthood [112], and around fifty percent of baseline happiness is inherited (if you’re a natural grump, that’s one more thing you can blame on your parents). Aside from your DNA, what determines your happiness are your circumstances, and your “happiness-relevant activities and practices” [113].

Here are some tips you can use to increase your happiness and well-being:

◻	Engage in kindness and gratitude. Some ways you can do this are writing letters expressing gratitude, counting your blessings, and performing acts of kindness for others [113].
◻	Spend time outdoors [114].
◻	Get physical exercise [115].
◻	Get enough sleep. Arrange your sleep hours so you wake up naturally, without needing an alarm [116, 117].
◻	Spend time with your friends and family. A good social life brings as much happiness as an extra $130,000 per year [118].
◻	Quit smoking and get regular checkups. Good health is worth nearly half a million dollars a year in happiness [118].
◻	While some people enjoy driving, commuting can be stressful [119]; it might be worth it to spend the extra money to move closer to your workplace.
◻	Keep your home and your work space neat enough that you can find what you need when you need it. Clutter can lead to the unpleasant sense that your house isn’t really your home [120].

These practices, combined with a job you can stand, can add up to a pretty nice life. You may even have enough spare time to...try out your dreams.

Take your dream up for a test flight

Kristen Ridout quit her administrative job to pursue broadcast journalism.

She started in small, remote markets and moved often. But the economics of the industry caught up with her.

While I commuted 45 minutes along mountainous roads at four in the morning to report the news, the opportunities for raises and promotions faded away. Two years of doing everything I could to move up in the company were proving fruitless.

She changed industries when pursuing her dream was no longer sustainable.

I don’t regret following my dreams to become a journalist, because I would have been unhappy had I not given it a try. I also don’t regret throwing in the towel after five years, because I tried my best. [121]

Sometimes your dreams are based on incomplete information. You may have dreamed of living in a big city, but once you get there, you find you can’t stand the noise, crowds, and high cost of living. You may start your own business because you want to set your hours and be your own boss, only to find that you can’t take a day off, it’s impossible to find employees as dedicated as you are, and every one of your customers thinks they’re your boss.

You can change course, and you can keep your dream career as a hobby. You might even enjoy it more without the pressure of trying to make it cover your living expenses. Many people have ordinary day jobs and in their nonwork time enjoy singing, playing music, acting, or writing novels.

And once in a while, a hobby really can turn into a dream job.

Tess Gerritsen writes the bestselling Rizzoli & Isles medical thrillers. But she was a medical doctor first. Elle Boon, Jana DeLeon, and Joanna Penn all quit their corporate jobs to pursue successful writing careers. It can happen. But like Kristen Ridout, you have to set your limits, and know when to quit.

You don’t have to choose between throwing aside money and security to pursue your passion versus grinding away at a soul-sucking desk job. You can choose to build financial security, which will give you the freedom to pursue your dreams on the side. Only you can decide how much security you need, how much risk you can live with, and how you want to spend your time and your life. If you’re married or partnered, and one of you is pursuing a long-shot career (novelist, entrepreneur, tenure-track humanities professor), you must listen to each other, stay informed, keep talking, and go to counseling if necessary.

Take care of your body; it’s the life-support system for your brain.

Reject envy; appreciate the talents of others as a gift to the world. This is harder than it may seem. Our system depends on covetousness and discontent. Envy fuels consumer spending [122], and U.S. consumers power the economy—for now at least [123]. But as much as you can, adopt the attitude of a sports fan, whose pleasure in an athlete’s achievement is unmarred by jealousy. Enjoy watching a spacewalk even if you’re not the one floating hundreds of miles above the earth.

Kindness is crucial. Be good to those around you and kind to yourself. Invest in activities and attitudes that will keep you too engaged to have time to envy others, and will bring you satisfaction in the long run.